Those who’ve watched MTV’s Spring Break and wished for its undulating crew of debauched partiers to be devoured wholesale or who’ve witnessed Girls Gone Wild’s shameless exploitation of drunken college girls and longed for its smarmy founder Joe Francis to receive a grisly dose of karmic justice or who’ve seen any of Eli Roth’s films and hoped for the “torture-porn” impresario to receive a dose of his own vile medicine will find their catharsis in Piranha 3D. What they will not find is much in the way of a plot quality acting or anything remotely resembling restraint. But you weren’t really expecting that in a film about killer fish were you?
In Piranha 3D director Alexandre Aja's (High Tension The Hills Have Eyes remake) overriding concern is with his relentless onslaught of T&E — tits and entrails. He often groups them together in the same scene — presumably for efficiency’s sake — as when a busty topless parasailor (an IMDB search reveals her to be a porn star named Gianna Michaels) is bisected during a brief dip below the water’s surface or when a similarly-endowed party girl is separated from her bikini top — and then much of her upper torso — by a stray cable from a tumbling platform. Indeed Piranha DDD might be a more suitable title for the film given Aja’s Russ Meyer-meets-Faces of Death sensibility.
Given the ridiculous subject matter Aja has little choice but to wholeheartedly embrace the camp of it all and Piranha 3D is nothing less than the Avatar of B movie schlockfests. In addition to its array of grotesquely violent set pieces the film boasts a gleefully wicked sense of humor the primary vessel of which is Jerry O’Connell who plays internet sleaze merchant Derrick Jones an obvious stand-in for the aforementioned Francis. In search of fresh meat for his co-ed porn site he combs the fictional Arizona resort town of Lake Victoria at the height of spring break for new prey. Unbeknownst to him his prospective talent pool is about to be decimated by a swarm of piranhas recently freed from their undersea prison by a timely earthquake — this despite the heroic efforts of the town’s pair of hardy but laughably impotent sheriffs (Elisabeth Shue and Ving Rhames).
These razor-toothed piranhas may seem like mindless predators but they are not without their share of admirable traits. Before beginning their feeding frenzy for example they’re considerate enough to allow the lake’s doomed revelers one last hedonistic hurrah the highlight of which is an extended sequence in which Jones’ two most prized fillies played by softcore titans Kelly Brook and Riley Steele frolic naked underwater to the tune of “The Flower Duet” from Delibes’ Lakme. (“They’re like fish with boobies!” their director shouts ecstatically.) The fish clearly possess a taste for the ironic and perhaps a bit of a feminist streak as well as we witness when O'Connell's character is literally emasculated during an ill-timed dive. (Fittingly he gurgles “Wet t-shirt” as his final blood-drenched words.) As his severed manhood sinks toward the bottom a piranha arrives and snaps it up but it doesn’t quite agree with the creature and the penis is quickly burped up in disgust. Even the fish can’t stomach him it seems.
Source: Deadline New York
The remake craze continues! Deadline New York reports that Original Media has acquired franchise rights to The Toxic Avenger. Akiva Goldsman, Richard Saperstein and Charlie Corwin will produce a remake of the 1984 original, which was a staple of schlock cinema that attained a rabid cult following.
The film is set in Tromaville, New Jersey - a small American town, terrorized by criminals. Among the residents of Tromaville is Melvin, a nerdy emaciated janitor at the local health club. A gang of thugs devise a cruel hoax that goes horribly wrong as Melvin is cast through a third story window into a vat of hazardous toxic waste. However, an unexpected metamorphosis takes place. As the chemicals take hold of his body, Melvin turns into the Toxic Avenger, doer of good, and brutal mauler of evil.
The report states that Original Media gains rights to films, animated series and comic books and the company will finance development of the feature's script. On the direction and tone of the film, Deadline says that "the group intends to turn Toxie into a green superhero for these environmentally conscious times." The remake is expected to be a family friendly PG-13 action comedy".
Hancock must have sounded great--at least on paper. Hancock (Smith) is the anti-superhero a crime fighter with a bad attitude in contemporary Los Angeles who drinks way too much dresses like skid row and doesn’t give a hoot what anyone thinks about him. Of course since he can fly like Superman stop a speeding train with his fist and take care of just about any badass gang member with his little finger he is invaluable to the police. But the public hates him--so into his life comes PR wizard Ray Embrey (Jason Bateman) who is determined to remake Hancock into the image of a hero the city can embrace including getting a spandex outfit. When Hancock comes over to Embrey’s house his wife Mary (Charlize Theron) gets an immediate bad vibe about the guy. There’s good reason and therein lies the film’s big twist which comes at the half-way point of the very tight 92-minute running time. To say much else about where the plot goes would put us in spoiler hell and for a movie so reliant on the sudden turn it takes you’ll just have to figure it out yourself. They call the 4th of July “Big Willie Weekend” because Smith has been responsible for opening so many blockbusters during this time frame including Independence Day Bad Boys Men In Black among others. The movie-going public obviously loves him (so do we) and he’s coming off two strong recent performances in I Am Legend and The Pursuit of Happyness. On the surface the role of Hancock--a complicated reluctant superhero who is all ’tude-- fits right in with the rest of the resume but despite the star’s best efforts Hancock comes off a little too contrived and affected. Will’s charisma is going to have to work overtime for eager audiences to completely buy this character. An abrupt tonal shift halfway through presents a strong challenge to Theron who suddenly isn’t who she appears to be at first. Credit must go to this fine actress for making the awkward transition Mary Embrey seamless. And thank God for Jason Bateman whose innate charm and ability to play comedy makes Ray a guy in a REAL quandary--the most likeable of all the main stars as he is caught in a Twilight Zone of superhero antics. Actor-turned-director Peter Berg (The Kingdom Friday Night Lights) is all flash and style with Hancock. He moves his shaky camera right up into the stars faces and back again awkwardly shifting the tone from comedy to maudlin drama and trying to ramp up a story that just doesn’t make a whole lot of narrative sense. Films about comic-book superheroes are a dime a dozen in the summer months and audiences have shown they can easily suspend disbelief if they have a protagonist to root for. Berg’s failure here is to present Will Smith in such a way that we don’t care. The movie is full of botched opportunities with the whole arc collapsing as the thin screenplay recklessly takes off in unexpected directions--including a ridiculous scene in which Hancock goes to prison (for no good reason) that gives new meaning to the term “butting heads.” Not only do sequences like this seriously challenge the viability of the film’s PG-13 rating they test our patience for all its worth. Even though there are some nice special effects and its faults do not lie in our stars (we still love you Will) Hancock does not set off the kind of fireworks you may have been expecting this Big Willie Weekend.
More than just the frighteningly awful things that go bump in this particularly nasty fog The Mist is really a morality play about how fear and paranoia feed on a panicked scared group of people looking for some semblance of sanity about what’s happening to them. Set in a small Maine town (where else in a King story?) local denizen David Drayton (Thomas Jane) his young son Billy (Nathan Gamble) and several townsfolk are trapped in a local grocery store by a strange wraithlike mist. Even though they are warned early on that there are “things in the mist” killing people not everyone in the store believes it. But when it becomes evident all is indeed not well terror begins to build fueled by a religious zealot (Marcia Gay Harden) who starts preaching fire and brimstone--and eventually human sacrifice--in order to appease a vengeful God. Rational thought is quickly thrown out the window to the point that David begins to wonder what terrifies him more: the monsters in the mist or the ones inside the store--the human kind the people who until now had been his friends and neighbors. He decides he’ll take his chances in the mist. Darabont has collected a fine ensemble cast starting with Jane (The Punisher) as the film’s capable Everyman just trying to make sense of the horror unfolding while keeping his son as safe as possible. As little Billy Gamble (Babel) is quite affective especially when he turns on the waterworks and calls for his mother who must be food for the gods at this point. Also scarily good is Oscar-winner Harden as the religious nut who inevitably whips her burgeoning flock into a murderous tizzy. Other standouts include: Andre Braugher as one of the non-believers who has a running beef with his neighbor David; Toby Jones (Infamous) as a rational grocery store clerk with a wicked aim; Laurie Holden (Silent Hill) as a kindly newcomer and mother figure for Billy; Sam Witwer (TV’s CSI) as a doomed U.S. soldier who gives the reason why the mist has come upon them; and veteran character actors Frances Sternhagen and Jeffrey DeMunn (who is also a Darabont staple) as David’s allies in escaping the store. All are very capable at their jobs. Maybe Darabont and King are twins separated at birth. No other writer--or director for that matter--has been quite as successful as Darabont in capturing the true essence of a King novel evident in both of Darabont’s Oscar-nominated King adaptations The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile. This is the first time Darabont has tackled one of King’s horror stories but the writer/director innately understands what makes King’s The Mist a terrifying experience. Much like John Carpenter did with The Thing Darabont’s well-written script focuses on the human factor--the fear-feeding frenzy these ordinary people get themselves caught up in showing how human nature can ultimately be more horrifying than any monster. But of course Darabont has to reveal The Mist’s otherworldly creatures or the movie wouldn’t be complete. He visualizes King’s vivid descriptions of the monster attacks as best he can but unfortunately The Mist’s special effects come off a tad sub-par especially in this day and age. Still The Mist should keep you riveted until the final moments--a rather depressing new ending Darabont wrote himself with King’s thumbs-up approval.
Adapted from a King short story 1408 centers on renowned author Mike Enslin (John Cusack) who writes books about haunted places—houses hotels graveyards etc. He doesn’t believe in any of the mumbo jumbo since he hasn’t ever seen anything paranormal but he is happy to cash the checks anyway. When Enslin finds out about a haunted suite number 1408 at the notorious Dolphin Hotel in New York he does some research and discovers it indeed has had a grisly past. He decides he just has to stay there much to the chagrin of the hotel’s manager (Samuel L. Jackson) who hasn’t let anyone near the room in years. Anyone whose been in the room for more than an hour kills themselves you see. The manager tells Mike it isn’t necessarily because he cares about him he just doesn’t want to clean up the mess afterwards. But Mike is undeterred—and so sets out on the longest journey of what could be his short life. Save for the tense exposition scene between him and the always-good Jackson it’s mostly Cusack’s show—and he nails it. He displays that certain affability we’ve loved in films such as Serendipity but then demonstrates some real chops when it gets down to the nitty gritty adeptly alternating between jaded cynicism bewilderment bereavement and finally full-blown terror. See the room isn’t just a place where ghosts materialize and de-materialize. Its pure evil and manifests itself into whatever personal turmoil the occupant is going through at the time. For Mike this means reliving the death of his young daughter (Jasmine Jessica Anthony) and his further estrangement from his wife played convincingly by Mary McCormack (The West Wing). In Cusack’s capable hands Mike is one tortured soul but can he be strong enough to survive the odds? It’s not an easy thing to turn a Stephen King story into a movie. John Cusack aptly puts it in the production notes “I don’t know how he knows how to scare people so intensely or where those impulses come from but King is definitely channeling some spirits and demons.” Boy does he ever but as his loyal readers know his horror doesn’t necessarily mean gore (although his books do have that stuff in spades). In fact much of the terror King’s characters experience happen right inside their own heads which is frightening to read but really hard to translate to film—and many filmmakers have failed at it with exception to Rob Reiner who got it right with Misery. Now along with Reiner there’s Swedish director Mikael Hafstrom (Derailed) who understands how to take King’s internalizations in 1408 and bring them chillingly to the forefront with little to no CG effects or gimmicks. Rather the director plays with the audience making them guess whether they are watching real ghosts or just what’s happening inside Mike’s psyche. Hafstrom says he hopes viewers will wonder “What would happen to me in 1408?” I wouldn’t want to find out that’s for sure.
John Q is just your ordinary average blue-collar worker in Middle America trying to make ends meet. Unfortunately things are slow at the plant and John's hours have been cut in half. To make matters worse his wife's car has just been repossessed and he can't find a second job to bring in more income. Then the hammer really falls: his son collapses during a Little League game and the doctors say the boy needs a new heart--and fast--or he will die. When John finds out that his insurance won't cover the operation (his policy has been downgraded by his company because his hours were cut) and that the hospital won't put his son on the organ transplant list without a stiff up-front cash payment John takes matters into his own hands. Holding the ER hostage John demands that the hospital put his son on the organ transplant list.
Denzel Washington is Everyman letting his hair get unruly packing on some un-Hollywood-star inches around the middle and wearing nothing but cheap hats and jeans. Despite some silly screenwriting Washington manages to raise John above soap-opera dramatics and weak polemics ("The enemy is us--we shot down national healthcare") with genuine emotion and convincing resolve but barely. James Woods is perfect as the sniveling smarmy and supercilious doctor but unfortunately he and the rest of the talented cast are wasted as one-dimensional characters and saddled with routine clichéd dialogue. Anne Heche (who should be commended for taking on such a villainous role) is the icy hospital administrator; Robert Duvall is the by-the-book hostage negotiator; Ray Liotta is the trigger-tempered police chief; and Shawn Hatosy is the big-city brat who just won't stand for being a hostage. The rest of the hostages aren't even remotely interesting nor are any of the other characters.
While weak dialogue is partially to blame when a cast as strong as this one can't breathe real life into their characters some of the culpability must be laid at the feet of the director. Nick Cassavetes' (She's So Lovely) movie suffers from heavy-handed treatment: every five minutes the audience is beaten over the head (again) as someone rails against the country's failing health system and places guilt on this party or that complete with obligatory tight close-up shot (and halo) directly on that character. Not to mention Cassavetes tips his hand with the opening scene. The patter by screenwriter James Kearns (TV's Highway to Heaven) is cute at times but on the whole the script is didactic yet inane and would make for a poor episode of E.R.. The story however does manage to engage the audience on an emotional level with its timely message. One cannot help but root for John Q no matter his vigilante ways. After John's denouement Cassavetes closes the film with news clips of celebrities stumping for the cause. This is typical of the movie as a whole; while it attempts to deal with the serious issue of health care reform it only does so on the most superficial level.