WHAT IT'S ABOUT?
Two childhood buddies are forever changed by their first encounter with Playboy magazine. The story picks up 10 years later focusing on Tucker Cleigh a sex-obsessed moron who beds every girl he meets plus his conservative friend Eugene Bell who practices abstinence with his uptight girlfriend Cindi and joins her in teaching its virtues to younger students. But when Cindi decides she's ready to "do it" on prom night Eugene nervously complies but gets drunk falls down a flight of stairs and lands in a four-year coma. When he awakens he discovers Cindi has become a nude Playboy centerfold and joins Tucker on a chaotic cross-country trip to get to the Playboy mansion where he hopes to find Cindi — and Tucker gets to live out his wildest playmate fantasies.
WHO'S IN IT?
Miss March exists as a comic vehicle for its "stars " Zach Cregger and Trevor Moore members of a Brooklyn comedy group whose TV show The Whitest Kids U Know ran for several seasons on IFC. The team also co-directs and writes this witless hodgepodge of gross-out gags attempting to find humor in tasteless — not to mention sexist — setups. It makes last summer's The House Bunny look like Citizen Kane by comparison. Moore seems to be channeling early Jim Carrey as he plays a sex-crazed idiot who spends most of the movie trying to help his best friend (played by Cregger) lose his virginity despite an endless array of inanely conceived psychological and medical obstacles. With no one to rein them in these writer/director/stars overplay to the extreme and go for the cheapest laughs imaginable. Trying to mine physical humor out of situations dealing from epileptic sex to uncontrolled bowels this team throws it all at the wall but not much sticks. The rest of the cast including Raquel Alessi Molly Stanton 2007 Playmate of the Year Sara Jean Underwood and Craig Robinson — as an expletive-hurtling rapper named Horsedick.MPEG (in a gag repeated at least ten times) — are left twisting in the wind. Robinson however does get mileage out of a triple-X hardcore rap parody.
A scene where Eugene and Cindi try to teach sexual abstinence to a sparse audience of inattentive undergrads is amusing and well played. Unfortunately it occurs in the first 10 minutes. After that you're on your own.
Just about everything else including a dopey subplot involving a group of revenge-seeking firemen desperate stunt-laden gags egregiously over-the-top product placement for Playboy and one embarrassing scene after another designed to get the hardest R-rating possible.
MOST MEMORABLE LINE
Eighty-two-year-old Playboy founder Hugh Hefner gets to offer this bon mot in his one-scene cameo: "There's a bunny deep down inside every woman and if you see that bunny you're on to something."
GO OUT AND GET POPCORN WHEN …
The opening credits start. Then sneak into a better movie instead.
MTV To Edit Eminem Mooning
Still feeling the sting of Federal Communications Commission's wrath following Janet Jackson's Super Bowl stunt in January, MTV isn't taking any chances with the 2004 Movie Awards, set to air Thursday at 9 p.m. EDT. The Associated Press reports the music cabler plans to edit out a shot of Eminem mooning the audience. The rapper, who performed at the Saturday night taping with his group D12, appeared onstage dressed in a long red wig and jeans in a spoof of Guns N' Roses singer Axl Rose. According to the AP, Eminem repeatedly groped and flashed a studded codpiece throughout the performance, which culminated in the rapper pulling down his pants and flashing lily-white backside to thousands of people in the live audience. MTV reps told the news organization Saturday night the network would sanitize Eminem's act by editing around the stunt.
Marc Anthony Dodges Questions About Lopez
Singer Marc Anthony, who was signing autographs outside a Santo Domingo courthouse in the Dominican Republic last week after finalizing his divorce from former Miss Universe Dayanara Torres, dodged questions from NBC's Today host Matt Lauer about his reported wedding to Jennifer Lopez. Anthony could be seen wearing what appeared to be a wedding ban on his left hand while performing in New York's Rockefeller Plaza Tuesday for the Today show but deemed his "personal life" off limits. Lopez and Anthony reportedly wed Saturday in a small ceremony at her Beverly Hills, Calif., home. Lopez's representative told the AP Sunday that he had no comment about the supposed nuptials.
Halle Berry Gets Restraining Order on Stalker
A Los Angeles-area judge yesterday ordered a man accused of stalking Halle Berry to stay at least 100 yards away from her and two of her associates, Reuters reports. The Oscar-winning actress claims Greg Broussard has tried to contact her repeatedly and has imagined a relationship with her. The order against Broussard covers Berry, her publicist Karen Samfilippo and her manager, Vincent Cirrincione and also bars him from having contact with them.
Madonna's Third Children's Book Out in June
Madonna's children's third book, titled Yakov and the Seven Thieves, will hit bookstores June 21, the AP reports. Madonna describes the book, written for readers age 6 and up, as "a story about how all of us have the ability to unlock the gates of heaven--no matter how unworthy we think we are. For when we go against our selfish natures, we make miracles happen, in our lives and in the lives of others." The book, published by New York-based Callaway Arts & Entertainment, is among five children's books planned by the singer, each set in a different time and place. Her fourth book, The Adventures of Abdi, will be published on Nov. 8.
ER Actress Blames Ageism For Dismissal
British actress Alex Kingston, who plays the widowed surgeon Elizabeth Corday on the NBC show ER, claims her contract wasn't renewed because she is too old, Reuters reports. "Apparently I, according to the producers, the writers, am part of the old fogeys who are no longer interesting," she told the BBC's Radio Times listings magazine. She also said she had grown "deeply unhappy" with the show and felt her character was being used less and less. "There was a point where I had to find out what was going on and that was when the producers said they would no longer renew my contract," the actress said. "It was a shock and upsetting, but it is just your ego that is upset."
P. Diddy Gets Fashion Award
The Council of Fashion Designers of America named Sean "P. Diddy" Combs the top menswear designer of the year for his Sean John collection, AP reports. At the awards ceremony in New York Monday, Combs told the audience of fellow designers, models, fashion editors, stylists and retailers that years ago he stood in the Ralph Lauren store "saving my pennies" for a new Polo shirt. "I am living the American dream." Designer Carolina Herrera was honored as the best womenswear designer of the year.
Punk Rock Guitarist Found Dead
Guitarist Robert Quine, one of punk rock's most daring soloists and who heavily influenced the Velvet Underground, was found dead of a heroin overdose Saturday in his New York apartment, Reuter reports. He was 61. According to close friend and guitar maker Rick Kelly, who discovered the body, Quine had been despondent over the recent death of his wife.
Role Call: Mullally, Meyer in Rage
Will & Grace star Megan Mullally and Breckin Meyer (Garfield) are joining Martin Lawrence in the basketball comedy Rage Control. Lawrence plays a legendary college basketball coach who, after a public meltdown, is forced to coach a losing junior high school team. Mullally will play the school principal, while Meyer will star as a sports agent.
Kit Bowen contributed to this report.