No seriously. Annapolis follows Gentleman almost to the letter right down to our main character rebellious Jake (James Franco) who comes from the wrong side of the tracks (with a father who doesn’t support him) but gets into the Naval Academy anyway. There’s the steely senior upperclassman (Tyrese Gibson) who rides Jake mercilessly but can’t make Jake quit. They inevitably end up duking it out in a boxing ring. Or the chubby freshman or “plebe” (Vicellous Shannon) who is the pride of his family because he got into the Academy but will fail if he can make it through the obstacle course letting everyone who’s counting on him down. Oh and there’s also the beautiful girl (Jordana Brewster). She and Jake flirt in a bar she rejects him and then he finds out she’s an upperclassman at the Academy. Wait that’s Top Gun isn’t it? You sort of have to feel bad for Franco. He has all the makings of a movie star--dark brooding looks heavy-lidded eyes Marlon Brando intensity--but he just can’t quite find the right movie to launch him into stardom. He missed the mark with the medieval romance Tristan and Isolde--and now as the insurgent Jake he simply can’t outdo Gentleman’s Richard Gere. Neither can bad boy Tyrese (Four Brothers) trying to be a younger tougher version of Louis Gossett Jr.’s Oscar-winning hard ass. At any moment you expect Tyrese to yell “Oh you’ll DOR!” Instead the actor comes off ludicrously ill-fitted in his Navy whites. The rest of the cast too have a tough time making us believe they belong in the movie. Please you think someone like Brewster (The Fast and the Furious) is going to be in the Naval Academy and know how to box? Highly unlikely. Wonder which genius exec over at Disney had the brilliant idea to greenlight this derivative mess? The impetus for making Annapolis was probably to give audiences a glimpse at the prestigious U.S. Naval Academy and how hard it is to make it through. Not a bad idea on paper at least. But it’s obvious screenwriter Dave Collard watched An Officer and a Gentleman several hundred times sat down and wrote his cheesy heart out but forgot to add any of the steamy sex. Then to add insult to injury they hire director Justin Lin(Better Luck Tomorrow) a relative novice who tries his best to keep up appearances that he knows what he’s doing but doesn’t really have any of the necessary experience to make the film better. Annapolis is simply doomed to fail.
Princess Diaries 2 picks up about five years after the first movie as Mia (Anne Hathaway)--no longer a 16-year-old ugly duckling but now a self-possessed college grad--is ready to assume her role as princess of Genovia. Bringing her quirky American sensibilities with her she moves into the Royal Palace with her beautiful wise grandmother Queen Clarisse (Julie Andrews)--but soon discovers she'll be ruling the little European country famous for its pears sooner than she thought when the Queen announces her retirement. It's all a tad overwhelming but the capper is that according to Genovian law in order to take the crown she also has to be married--with Genovian parliament giving her only 30 days to find a prospective groom. What you say? An arranged marriage? That's just so politically incorrect. Suddenly Mia is wading through a parade of suitors who'd all like to be her king when all she wants to do is marry for love. Of course there are also factions plotting against her in the form of Viscount Mabrey (John Rhys-Davies) a blowhard royal who wants his nephew and native Genovian the hunky Lord Nicholas Devereux (Chris Pine) to take the throne. Ah but is Lord Nicholas really as greedy for the crown as his uncle? Maybe so--until he sees how beautiful kind and ultimately capable Mia is at ruling Genovia. This could get interesting--but it doesn't not really.
Hathaway continues to exude that same fresh quality as Mia with the ever-expressive face and affinity for physical comedy. She is certainly appealing to watch on-screen yet somewhere in all that cheerful perkiness one wonders if Hathaway is just itching to be a bad girl--to really get down and dirty to play say an ice pick-wielding femme fatale or even a prostitute with a heart of gold. But alas the young actress has pigeonholed herself into these sugary-sweet roles--and it might be difficult to break out the mold once the real acting bug bites her. Julie Andrews should give Hathaway some advice--she's been there playing the Mary Poppins and Maria Von Trapps of the world. The talented British actress has never really shed that wholesome image not entirely (even her raucous semi-nude appearance in her husband Blake Edwards' S.O.B. didn't quite do it) and in Princess Diaries 2 she once again plays a woman with spunk who's very classy but also terribly proper. Oh well guess it really isn't a bad way to be. As an extra bonus Andrews also sings in the film--which to all of us fans who've followed her battle with throat problems is a true delight (even if the musical number she sings in is rather gag-producing). The rest of the PD2 cast could have been plucked from anywhere save for Heather Matarazzo who happily reprises her role as Mia's quippy best friend Lilly Moscovitz.
Director Garry Marshall is a giant sap. Most of his films while usually comedic in some fashion or another have tended towards the maudlin including The Other Sister about a mentally disabled girl who finds love (sniffle); Beaches about a woman whose best friend dies (sob!); and this year's tear-jerker Raising Helen about a jet setter who has to stop her life to raise her dead sister's kids (oh stop it already). Now it's Princess Diaries 2 a follow-up to the original syrupy feel-good comedy. To his credit Marshall is a master at the genre--and doesn't make any excuses if the eyes roll at all the sentimentality. The first Princess Diaries worked well because it was about an ordinary girl who is transformed into a fairy tale princess. With PD2 Marshall has taken the basic romantic comedy structure of a girl meeting a boy who don't get along at first but realize they love each other in the end and applied it to the princess-turned-ruler idea. The film flows smoothly even if you can tell what's going to happen every step of the way--and how refreshing it is to have a film aimed at adolescent girls that doesn't have a mean-girl clique anywhere in the vicinity. Speaking of vicinities where the heck is Genovia anyway? You can never quite tell what sort of mythical European country it's suppose to be with accents ranging from French to British to very American--but it's still awfully pretty to look at.
Everything is just oh-so-dramatic for 15-year-old Mary aka Lola (Lindsay Lohan) who is uprooted from her beloved New York City by her artist mother (Glenne Headly) and forced to live in what she thinks is the dregs of New Jersey suburbia. Once there however the wanna-be actress decides she'll make a difference in her high school and stand out among the common folk and show them what true art is all about. Of course with an attitude like that Lola immediately gets on the bad side of the school's most popular--and mean-spirited--girl Carla (Megan Fox) but makes fast friends with the meek Ella (Alison Pill) when they both discover they worship the same rock band called Sidarthur. Lola soon proves with unstoppable determination that whatever Lola wants Lola gets; she stands up to the evil Carla wins the lead role in the school musical and has the adventure of a lifetime trying to see a Sidarthur concert in New York with Ella. Yet Lola comes to realize that while being the premiere drama queen she sometimes has to come back down to earth to see what really matters in life.
Lindsay Lohan a Disney favorite who has truly become the Hayley Mills of this generation has the same bebop freshness she displayed in other Disney fare including last year's mega hit Freaky Friday and is the best choice to play the ultimate Teenage Drama Queen. Yet if you strip away all the sparkle and showmanship could Lohan hold her own playing a real honest-to-goodness dramatic role? At least the actress has far more potential than say that other teen fave Hilary Duff (who supposedly has a real-life feud going on with Lohan. Talk about drama). Alison Pill on the other hand who did a nice job playing the forgotten sister in the indie film Pieces of April is the one to watch out for. She illustrates far more depth as best friend Ella who is transformed from a mouse to a lion under Lola's influence. The scenes where Ella and Lola moon over Sidarthur--and the subsequent misadventure to see them in concert--gives the film its most realistic insight to a teenage girl's psyche--and the girls seem to have a great time connecting to one another. In the supporting roles character actress Headly does a quiet down-to-earth turn as Lola's mother while in comparison Carol Kane really hams it up as the drama teacher Ms. Baggoli with the wacky hair lispy speech and hyperactive personality.
Teenage Drama Queen is a Disney specialty. It's the kind of movie the studio is been known for and can execute the best--cutesy over-produced teen fare with a wholesome message tied up in a brightly colored and oftentimes zany package. Back in the day Kurt Russell and Hayley Mills were the favorites in films such as Russell's The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes and the sequel Now You See Him Now You Don't (takes you back doesn't it?) as well as Mills' original The Parent Trap (which Lohan went on to remake in 1998). For Teenage Drama Queen the studio picked the up-and-coming Welsh director Sara Sugarman (Very Annie Mary) a self-proclaimed recovering drama queen herself who infuses the film with right amount of joie de vivre while keeping things in vogue for the MTV generation especially with the musical numbers and Lola's dream sequences. Plus the character's wardrobes are terminally hip; even the Sex and the City gals would be impressed. But while the film is certainly not as scary as the very dark Thirteen or dull as Catch That Kid Teenage Drama Queen doesn't offer anything poignant or remarkable beyond its glittering production value.
Shanghai Knights is really just a thinly veiled plot device to a) show more of Jackie Chan's amazing abilities; b) show the chemistry between Chan and Owen Wilson and c) show Chan in yet another fish-out-of-water situation. As a sequel with all the "right stuff" already in place Knights apparently doesn't need an intriguing story. Starting where Shanghai Noon left off Chon Wang (Chan) is living large in 1800s American Wild West. Yet when Chon learns his estranged father the Keeper of the Imperial Seal has been murdered in China's Forbidden City and the seal stolen he immediately vows revenge. To get to the killers who have escaped to London Chon reluctantly reteams with his old partner the incompetent Roy O'Bannon (Wilson). Once in England they run into Chon's sister Lin (Fann Wong) who has had the same vengeful idea as her brother (and has the same skills). Much to Chon's chagrin Roy is quickly smitten with the beautiful Lin who has uncovered a plot to kill Queen Victoria and the royal family but has trouble convincing the authorities since the instigator of the evil plan is Lord Rathbone (Aidan Gillen) seventh in line to the throne (hence why he wants them killed off). Not good. With the help of a kindly Scotland Yard Inspector and a 10-year-old street urchin Chon kicks Britain in the pants as he attempts to avenge his father's death--and keep the romance-minded Roy away from his sister.
The Chan/Wilson comic duo works well once again. Chan's easygoing unassuming style matches well with Wilson's smarminess. Wilson seems to have become one of those actors-for-hire saying yes to just about anything offered to him (why else would he have done I Spy?) ; still we know he has the goods when he turns in hysterical performances in quirk-fests such as The Royal Tenenbaums. There definitely is something special to his pairing with Chan who fits into Hollywood's mainstream like a glove. The only way to aptly describe his abilities is to compare him to Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly who could dance with anything from a woman to a hat rack and make it look so smooth. Granted Chan is getting a little long in the tooth (rumor has it he didn't perform all the stunts) but the combination of martial arts and Chinese acrobatics he displays is stupefying. Wong handles herself very well getting in a few swift mean kicks of her own. As well baddies Gillen and real-life martial arts master Donnie Yen who plays a Chinese rebel aligning himself with Rathbone snarl with the best of them. It is intriguing to see Yen and Chan go at it in their very different yet mesmerizing styles.
Doing a sequel to Shanghai Noon was a very smart move. Why not pair up these two likable heroes again throw them in a different adventure and watch the sparks fly? It's the kind of repeat performance that doesn't require much attention to detail and director David Dobkin (Clay Pigeons) shouldn't feel the need to top Knights' predecessor. Each action sequence is spectacular and the interim goofiness sustains the time when Chan can do his stuff again. Still it would be nice to have at least some semblance of glue to hold the movie together. It's all over the place trying to pack in as much fighting as possible together with funny awkward moments with Chon and Roy as well as playing with the history of London in the 1800s. For example the kindly Scotland Yard detective who helps them is Sir Arthur Conan Doyle before he starts writing his Sherlock Holmes series (Roy comes up with the pseudonym) and the street urchin so impressed with Chon's moves is a young Charlie Chaplin. Ah very clever. At least Lin gets to kick Jack the Ripper's butt. Oh who are we kidding? The film's fun and it's going to make big bucks. Who cares about a story?
There's nothing more annoying than watching a film and realizing you've already seen the best scenes in the trailer. Daryl Chase (Jones) is a stand-up banking professional who enjoys his fine Italian suits and his Perrier. But his world gets turned upside down when he's mistaken for a murderer and is forced to make a run for the border to hide from Mafia goons and government agents -- not to mention Freddy Tiffany (Eddie Griffin) a fast-talking hoodlum who's either trying to help him or turn him in. Makes little sense? Thought so.
No doubt Griffin's antics which are rehashed from his character on TV's "Malcolm & Eddie " are supposed to provide this dud's comedy relief -- à la Eddie Murphy -- to break up the shoot-'em-up action scenes. But his best lines are used in the trailers and by the time you hear Griffin reciting them up on the big screen all you can muster is a forced chuckle. Especially painful to watch is the scene where street-smart Freddy tries to teach uptown snob Daryl how to act "black."
There's only so much a director can do with a film that's troubled from the very beginning. Director George Gallo ("Trapped in Paradise") put together a film with an utterly confusing main story and subplots that lead to dead ends. It's hard to stay focused when characters flip-flop from being good guys to bad guys. Most of the confusion is cleared up at the very end of the film but by that time who cares?