Summit Entertainment via Everett Collection
Like The Hunger Games and Twilight, the Divergent series has just opted to jump on the YA bandwagon of splitting its final chapter in half. The upcoming adaptation of Veronica Roth’s Allegiant, the third part of her wildly successful Divergent book series, will take form in two separate films. So what can we look forward to? An inert first film that’s all build-up and exposition! One that ends abruptly and without payoff! And yes, a year-long wait before the second, largely unnecessary film that’s going to be all climax! We’re especially looking for to the awkwardly titled The Divergent Series Presents: Allegiant — Part 2 of 2: Based on the Novel Allegiant by Rothphire, or whatever gangly franken-title the studio comes up with, stapled together with enough semicolons to hospitalize a grammar teacher.
Frankly, We're tired of it. For all its good will, the Harry Potter series set a dangerous precedent. Now every YA adaptation under the sun just absolutely needs that two part finale to fill out the release calendar with one more film. There's tickets to sell after all. While it may have been a good idea to split the Deathly Hallows, the sprawling final chapter of J.K Rowling’s wizarding Saga, into two films (and since it was a novel concept at the time, it gets a pass), not every last book needs to be turned into two sequels. The last Harry Potter book was an 800-page behemoth that had to tie off dozens of dangling threads and loose ends sewn in by six previous novels. The final chapters of both Divergent and The Hunger Games don't need two films to end their stories. Just think of what all of your favorite film trilogies would look like if that last part were suddenly cut into two flicks:
The Return of the JediWhat if Return of the Jedi was chugging along smoothly, the rebels just formulated a plan to take out The second Death Star, the Ewoks saddled up to defend their home, and Luke unsheathes his lightsaber for one final battle against Darth Vader, the green beam of light pierces through the air and... BAM, fade to black, see you in '84 for a two-hour yubnub.
The Dark Knight RisesBatman finally escapes the sink hole of a prison in the desert. He travels to Gotham to face off against Bane in a climactic battle for Gotham's soul. The two rush in for battle with their armies at their backs and... what? you wanted resolution? Sorry, you'll have to wait until 2013 to find out that Marion Cotillard is the bad guy.
Spider-Man 3What if after Peter Parker finally strips the Venom Symbiote off of his body, and the sludge falls on Eddie Brock, the credits start rolling right before Brock turns into Venom? To be honest, it wouldn't be that much worse than the movie we got...
Indiana Jones and the Last CrusadePicture this: the last true Indy adventure severed in two right before Prof. Jones took the leap of faith? A big "To Be Continued" flashed on screen before the film's theme started blaring thoughout the theater. "Come back next year to see if Indy survived the jump!" No, I don't think I will.
Toy Story 3Imagine if Toy Story 3 had cut out while Woody, Buzz, Jessie, and the others were still trapped in Ned Bearty's day care center, forcing now grown Pixar fans to stew in bitter resentment before the nostalgia really hit home upon Andy's goodbye to his best pal? Pure torture.
The Lord of the Rings: Return of the KingWhat if while Frodo and Sam are right on the edge of the lava pit in Mount Doom, The film cuts just as we see Frodo about to drop the ring into the molten abyss? Why recieve closure now, when you can get it later? Don't worry, Peter Jackson has you covered.
Back to the Future IIIAny more time spent in the Old West with Marty and Doc would be considered a crime against humanity.
If you haven't seen this week's How I Met Your Mother episode "Vesuvius," turn back now... the ep, and as such this post, contains what is likely the biggest spoiler in How I Met Your Mother history (which places it somewhere around the area of Kristin shot J.R./The hospital is in a snowglobe/The numbers meant nothing).
A quick summary...
By the time we hit 2030 and meet a long-winded Future Ted recounting his youthful forays to two closed-mouth Mosbiettes, the woman we spent eight years waiting to meet and one season getting to know will be dead. This was all but confirmed outright in this week's episode "Vesuvius," in which the usual framing device shifts to a matted-haired Josh Radnor chatting with Cristin Milioti at the Northampton hotel where they met many years prior.
The reveal — which, we might note, was suggested by series creators Carter Bays and Craig Thomas, who insisted that the series finale would be "heartbreaking" — is peppered gradually throughout the episode, hinted at when The Mother insists that she doesn't want Ted to "live in his stories," and emboldened when Ted breaks into tears over the thought of a mother not being around for her daughter's wedding day. By the end of the episode, it was terrifically clear that Milioti's character would not be long for this world. That Ted spent more time chasing the woman of his dreams than he might end up getting to spend with her.
Reactions took the form of rage, sorrow, and your series-appropriate skepticism. Each side is at once differently valid and uniquely psychotic, and we wouldn't be a complete fan base were not for all components. So here's what sprung from the id-heavy minds of the HIMYM loving (and hate-watching) community last night.
Anger"She's dead?! The mother is dead?!? What the f**k?!?"
Nine seasons spent waiting to finally meet this lady, to watch her yank Ted out of his lifelong melancholy for an ultimately happy and loving life. To institute the idea that true love is not something that makes you feel sick and lonely (re: Ted's feelings for Robin) but whole. We waded through the Scherbatsky-induced misery, holding fast to the idea that one day Ted would meet someone who puts this whole ordeal to shame, who exhibits his relationship with (or, more accurately, "at") Robin for what it is — toxic, immature, and not the best that he can do.
And now, all that has gone to s**t. Mother dies. Ted's alone again, nursing his wounds with meaningless distractions like stories and his children.
But wait, brief hope: does this mean he can end up with Robin? That after the death of Milioti, Ted rekindles things with Ms. Scherbatsky (free of Barney for some inevitable reason) and spends his life with the love that he always knew to be his one and only? ... No, that's dumb and ridiculous. He's probably going to be alone. Or, as foreshadowed by Miloti's own brush with loss, forced to trek out again to find happiness once more.
On the side of this troupe is Alan Sepinwall, all but retired from HIMYM recaps, who felt it necessary to take to the web to pronounce his impassioned distaste for this choice. A great husk of Twitter echoed his sentiments. After investing so much time in a comedy series that, while impressive in its subversion of "traditional love" in the past few weeks still promised a "happy ending," we get this. Nothing shy of betrayal.
Sadness"She's... she's dead? The m-mother is... dead? Oh... my God..."
We hadn't seen this coming, despite warnings from Bays and Thomas. We didn't want to believe it. We wanted Ted to be... happy. This isn't quite what we had expected.
But, in earnest, it's a touch of beauty. It's hurtful, jarring, and mean. But it sure is doing its job: making us well up.
See, it actually kind of makes sense. Ted's whole story is about putting one love behind him to find another. To find someone who can make him happy now, in real life and real time, rather than relying on fantasies and memories... and stories, as Milioti puts it ever so warmly. His quest to overcome Robin is really just a precursor to his quest circa 2030, to overcome the loss of The Mother and again set out to find happiness, and bring this happiness to his children.
It might be tough, but it works. And it's going to drum up some tears... but that's what a good series finale does.
Skepticism"Psh. She's not dead."
We've seen this before, How I Met Your Mother. You make it REALLY OBVIOUS that something is going to happen, and then BAM. The other thing happens. Well, not this time. She ain't dyin'. There's no way you'd be crazy enough to end your CBS comedy series on such a bleak note. Maybe she's sick now, but gets better. Maybe the vague hints at death were in reference to someone else (hey, maybe Robin's dead, or something ... somehow, that doesn't bum us out as much, and we like Robin!). There are plenty of possibilities here. But The Mother dying ain't one of 'em.
So which camp do you lie in?
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Miley Cyrus welcomed rap newcomer Brooke Candy to her record label RCA by planting a kiss on her lips. The superstar, who also puckered up to Katy Perry at her Bangerz concert in Los Angeles last weekend (22Feb14), shared a photo of her smooching her new pal on her Instagram.com blog on Thursday (27Feb14), alongside the caption, "my new label sista! Welcome to @RCA bishhhy! Happy 2 have you apart of da fam bam (sic)!"
Farrah Fawcett's son Redmond O'Neal has opened up about the devastating loss of his mother for the first time since her death, revealing they did not speak to each other in her final weeks. When the Charlie's Angels actress passed away after a long battle with cancer in 2009, her son was months into serving a prison sentence stemming from drug charges.
Redmond, who was released from jail in 2012, has now spoken out about the death of his mother, confessing their lack of contact in her final weeks has devastated him.
He tells U.S. entertainment news show Extra, "One minute she was alive and well, everything was good, and then bam! My dad was telling me she died... I was in jail at the time. I didn't even get to say 'bye to her.
"For the last four months she was living, I didn't even get to talk to her. She was bedridden, incapable of getting on the phone... The good thing is she didn't know I was in jail. My dad kept that from her."
Redmond also admits it was hard to deal with reading about his mother's death - on the same day Michael Jackson passed away - in newspaper reports while behind bars, adding, "It was in the paper, like front page. That was hard, too. I got all these inmates in the dorm, I was in reading this newspaper. She's on the front page, she and Michael Jackson... I remember, and I got mad 'cause Michael Jackson had a bigger page."
O'Neal's famous dad has also spoken out about his pride that his son is fighting to stay clean: "I'm very proud of him. I know his mother was there for him and helped him jump some hurdles, and now I've got him and he's exactly what I wanted. There's a lot of his mother in him, so it's almost as if she's around."
Lily Allen's chart-topping cover version of Keane's track Somewhere Only We Know was a calculated attempt to quell potential outrage over her expletive-laden comeback song. The Smile singer is making her return to the spotlight after taking four years off to have children with her husband Sam Cooper, and she planned to release controversial single Hard Out Here for her big return in November (13).
However, Allen knew the track's racy promo and lyrics, which deal with the sexualisation of young women in the music industry, would cause a stir, so she also recorded a sugary version of Keane's hit and released it a week before her own song.
It was used as the soundtrack of the 2013 Christmas TV commercial for U.K. department store John Lewis, and Allen is delighted the tactic worked.
She tells Britain's Elle magazine, "I took the John Lewis job because I knew I had Hard Out Here, which wasn't a radio record because it has the word 'b**ch' in it 72 times. I wanted people to go, 'Oh she's done exactly what we thought she would do.' Then, bam! Four days later, I'm in a controversial video."
Country veteran Naomi Judd has credited meditation with helping her overcome the potentially fatal hepatitis C virus after doctors declared in 1990 that she only had three years to live. The Love Can Build a Bridge hitmaker was forced to retire from The Judds, the duo she formed with daughter Wynonna, in 1991 after she was diagnosed with the chronic liver disease.
She says, "Three stinking years (to live). That was 1990... We're at the height of out career... and then bam! I am incredibly sick... couldn't brush my teeth, couldn't change my nightgown and... the big doctors told me I had three years to live."
The shocking news prompted Judd to adopt a more holistic lifestyle. She began meditating and spending time with a new circle of friends she made at self-healing sessions, and she is convinced the healthy change helped her to beat the disease.
The 68 year old, who has since resumed her music career, tells U.S. talk show host Katie Couric, "I just intuited that I was not gonna die... I started hanging out with them and yes, I've seen Dolly (Parton) naked, and I have Taylor Swift's phone number, but these are my new friends... They saved me...
"I am a medically documented miracle. In 1995 I was cured of the hep C (sic) virus."
will.i.am has hailed Britney Spears as the most disciplined artist he has ever worked with. The Black Eyed Peas star serves as executive producer on Spears' forthcoming album Britney Jean and was surprised to discover the Toxic hitmaker's level of focus and discipline.
The Bang Bang star suspects the demands of motherhood have made Spears more professional when it comes to getting the most out of studio time, setting her apart from other artists who take a relaxed approach to the recording process.
He tells Popjustice.com, "Most artists aren't like that... Britney is the most focused and disciplined of all the artists in the industry.... Those (other artists) aren't pros. Britney's a pro. Her time is valuable: she has kids. And a lot of the time with an artist they'll go into the studio, they'll sit around, they're watching TV, they order some food, they're giggling and joking... Britney's like: "I'm coming in from 2pm until 6pm." She'll arrive at 1.30, and from 2 to 6 she'll be like BAM BAM BAM... I've never seen anything like that. Her work ethic is pretty admirable."
"I would love to have twins - a girl and a boy - but who knows if that would happen. It would be my ideal situation - Wham! Bam! Be done with it." Newlywed model-turned-reality TV star Joanna Krupa on her plans for motherhood.
Just because we enjoy watching cringe-worthy situations on sitcoms doesn't mean we want to live through them ourselves. And we don't always have a Twix bar at the ready to get us through an awkward encounter.
For those times when you wish you could hide under a rock of shame, Buzzfeed re-imagines a future where you can teleport yourself out of any situation, featuring the stars of CW sci-fi drama, The Tomorrow People. Just think, the next time the cops show up at your house, or you're trapped in a painfully boring conversation, you can just snap your fingers and BAM — teleport out of there.
While we highly doubt any guy would reject the advances of Peyton List, or that Robbie Amell has such terrible elevator etiquette, we're still impressed that both stars can pull off the look of utter mortification so perfectly. Also, pirate jokes are never funny, even if you look like a living mannequin with perfect teeth.
The list of nominees for the upcoming class of inductees at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame were announced and I was quite thrilled to see Daryl Hall and John Oates on that list of people.
I remember getting my first Hall and Oates tape in the mid- '80s. It was their greatest hits and their videos were on constant rotation on MTV: "Man Eater," "Adult Education," "Private Eyes," "One on One" (my own personal favorite - I always loved Hall's voice at the end of the song) and with each video, it seems like Hall's hair just got bigger and bigger. Then came my ultimate Hall and Oates experience: I got Big Bam Boom and I wore that tape out. From the opening part of "Dance On Your Knees" that sequed into "Out of Touch" to the end with "Possession Obsession," I could probably play that album in my head if need be. I even saw them in Madison Square Garden. Floor seats, baby.
The thing about the Rock Hall of Fame is that it is ridiculously subjective and political as to who gets in. You thought that sports shrines were argumentative enough, especially now with the whole performance-enhancing-drug era in baseball cloudiing matters even more. That's nothing compared to music. People can love what I listen to or shut it off in 30 seconds and declare it garbage. They can use criteria like Platinum Albums, awards, etc, but it's still subject to people's whims. At least with baseball, there's solid statistics. Not so with music. But still, hear my argument about Hall and Oates.
Theirs were some of the most soulful music even before that whole run in the '80s where they were probably the most famous duo of all time. But even if you cut out that decade, you still have an impressive array of songs from the '70s, including "Sara Smile," "She's Gone," "Rich Girl" and "Wait For Me." Hall should be inducted just on the sole basis of his own voice and Oates was a great showman too (his mustache rocked in the '70s and '80s). They belong. There's a crowded group of nominees, though, with Peter Gabriel, Nirvana, Kiss and Linda Rondstat also in the "How The Hell Haven't They Gotten In Yet?" crew.
If they don't make it and are passed over...well, I can't go for that.