Ramona Singer is a terrorist. No, she has not strapped a bomb to her body but she is just as volatile. She is a social terrorist. She just shows up at a party and BAM! she explodes, flattening everything around her and then running away before anyone can even react. They're all woozy, stumbling up from the ground, covered in rubble and clutching their bleeding, ringing ears. That is what Ramona keeps doing this season.
She gets into a cab, and she hijacks it, telling the cabbie how to do his job and better please her, even as her dog sheds all over his back seat. (You know if she got in and there was dog fur on the seat, she would have complained about it the whole ride.) And the worst is that she thinks she's a benevolent terrorist. She thinks that she is helping the cabbie out when she belittles him and tells him to write down the address where she's going and do everything to her exact specifications. She thinks she knows how to do his job better than he does. She thinks she is a better business person than this cabbie and that her little completely idiotic suggestion (do you really want cabbies writing down addresses instead of like, you know, driving?) is going to somehow change his life for the better. She's like those people on Whale Wars, and if you are not willing to live your life the way she thinks that it should be lived, then you are dead to her. She will explode and take you out with her.
That's just what happened at the party. She went all Ka-Blooey! like a Bob-omb in Super Mario Brothers and then ran away, leaving Heather there to clean up the mess. I'm starting to come around on this Heather Holla! Thompson. Ramona emotionally terrorizes her and she just stands there calmly explaining that she hates the way Ramona fights, and she doesn't have any problem with the woman, but every time they interact, Ramona treats her like crap. I think, objectively, this is true. This is true and Heather is right, but then she makes the mistake of saying that Ramona was "acting crazy." This is where it all falls to pieces.
¡Que Viva!, who loves a good bit of telenovela drama, tells Heather not to call Ramona crazy in front of Mario (who fully knows that his wife is crazy, just like he knows that his hair is gray). Mario gets mad and says Ramona is not a "crazy person." Then Heather says, "I said she was 'acting crazy,' not that she was a 'crazy person.'" She apologizes. ¡Que Viva! and Mario are still going on about whether or not she said, "acting crazy" or "crazy person." And this is the problem with all Real Housewives fights. They start off about something substantive — the fact that Ramona is a hypocrite who treats Heather like crap and Heather would like her to sit her down and talk about her problems rather than spewing every drawing room on the Upper East Side with the shrapnel of a thousand shattered pinot bottles — and they end up being about semantics. The fight devolves into something that is unprovable — exactly what wording Heather used. Who cares if she said "acting crazy" or "crazy person," because Ramona is both of those things! That is just a reason to fight and fight and fight without anything ever being resolved, which is sort of the purpose of Housewives anyway. The snake eating it's own tail and then putting its finger down its throat to throw up because snake meat has too many calories.
Then it just ends. Heather leaves, Ramona leaves, Taco forces ¡Que Viva! to leave because things are about to actually get spicy and he can't handle it. It just all falls apart and what everyone takes away from it is that Heather called Ramona crazy. The terrorists have won.
Ramona needed a good night's rest because the next day she and Sonja Tremont Morgan, of the Scarsdale Diet Morgans, had to go get some "spa treatments," so that they would look all nice in St. Bart Simpson's on vacation with the ladies. Sonja wants them to do something about her Tummie which isn't feeling very Yummie. They inject it full of Restalyne, which is a filler that they usually use in faces. I'm not sure why this is a good idea, but Sonja likes getting a million needle jabs in her lady paunch. She thinks it is like being boinked with a million tiny penises, and when you have sex with as many penises as Sonja T. Morgan has in her lifetime, she knows that it's the tiny ones that are so much easier to deal with. No mess, no pain, no problem. Everyone is happy.
It's Ramona who is really going to have a rough time. She's getting electroshock treatment to her butt. Apparently her ass is sad and has been experiencing some sort of mood disorder. Some days it's perky, some days it's droopy. It just doesn't know anymore. Ramona's ass is essentially bipolar, and this will correct it and pull her ass' Sylvia Plath head out of the oven. She lies down on the doctors table with her tushie in the air and the doctor puts some electrodes on it. "Aaaaahhhhh!" screams Ramona. "I got a shock in my C-U-Next-Thursday." "That's not how you say it," Sonja says. "It's Tuesday. Your c**t is Tuesday, just like the girl on the Addams Family." "Oh, OK. I got a shock in my Tuesday!"
The Sherlock star was at a meeting when he overheard a role on the animated series was up for grabs, and he jumped at the chance to lend his vocal talents to an upcoming episode.
He tells Britain's InStyle magazine, "I was at a meeting yesterday in the same place The Simpsons is recorded and heard there was a part going in an episode. I said, 'I hate to muscle in here, guys, but could I record it?' Next thing, I'm standing in a room with all those famous voices: Bart, Marge, Homer, Lisa..."
After The Simpsons recording, Cumberbatch prepared to return to his native U.K. following a four-month stint shooting Star Trek 2 in Los Angeles - and admitted he is already missing his busy Stateside schedule.
He adds, "I've got post-movie depression. I had my last sunset yesterday, so I strolled down the beach and ate a sarnie (sandwich) on the sand dune."
A kids’ movie without the cheeky jokes for adults is like a big juicy BLT without the B… or the T. Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted may have a title that sounds like it was made up in a cartoon sequel laboratory but when it comes to serving up laughs just think of the film as a BLT with enough extra bacon to satisfy even the wildest of animals — or even a parent with a gaggle of tots in tow. Yes even with that whole "Afro Circus" nonsense.
It’s not often that we find exhaustively franchised films like the Madagascar set that still work after almost seven years. Despite being spun off into TV shows and Christmas specials in addition to its big screen adventures the series has not only maintained its momentum it has maintained the part we were pleasantly surprised by the first time around: great jokes.
In this third installment of the series – the trilogy-maker if you will – directing duo Eric Darnell and Tom McGrath add Conrad Vernon (director Monsters Vs. Aliens) to the helm as our trusty gang swings back into action. Alex the lion (Ben Stiller) Marty the zebra (Chris Rock) Gloria the hippo (Jada Pinkett Smith) and Melman the giraffe (David Schwimmer) are stuck in Africa after the hullaballoo of Madagascar 2 and they’ll do anything to get back to their beloved New York. Just a hop skip and a jump away in Monte Carlo the penguins are doing their usual greedy schtick but the zoo animals catch up with them just in time to catch the eye of the sinister animal control stickler Captain Dubois (Frances McDormand). And just like that the practically super human captain is chasing them through Monte Carlo and the rest of Europe in hopes of planting Alex’s perfectly coifed lion head on her wall of prized animals.
Luckily for pint-sized viewers Dubois’ terrifying presence is balanced out by her sheer inhuman strength uncanny guiles and Stretch Armstrong flexibility (ah the wonder of cartoons) as well as Alex’s escape plan: the New Yorkers run away with the European circus. While Dubois’ terrifying Doberman-like presence looms over the entire film a sense of levity (which is a word the kiddies might learn from Stiller’s eloquent lion) comes from the plan for salvation in which the circus animals and the zoo animals band together to revamp the circus and catch the eye of a big-time American agent. Sure the pacing throughout the first act is practically nonexistent running like a stampede through the jungle but by the time we're palling around under the big top the film finds its footing.
The visual splendor of the film (and man is there a champion size serving of it) the magnificent danger and suspense is enhanced to great effect by the addition of 3D technology – and not once is there a gratuitous beverage or desperate Crocodile Dundee knife waved in our faces to prove its worth. The caveat is that the soundtrack employs a certain infectious Katy Perry ditty at the height of the 3D spectacular so parents get ready to hear that on repeat until the leaves turn yellow.
But visual delights and adventurous zoo animals aside Madagascar 3’s real strength is in its script. With the addition of Noah Baumbach (Greenberg The Squid and the Whale) to the screenwriting team the script is infused with a heightened level of almost sarcastic gravitas – a welcome addition to the characteristically adult-friendly reference-heavy humor of the other Madagascar films. To bring the script to life Paramount enlisted three more than able actors: Vitaly the Siberian tiger (Bryan Cranston) Gia the Leopard (Jessica Chastain) and Stefano the Italian Sealion (Martin Short). With all three actors draped in European accents it might take viewers a minute to realize that the cantankerous tiger is one and the same as the man who plays an Albuquerque drug lord on Breaking Bad but that makes it that much sweeter to hear him utter slant-curse words like “Bolshevik” with his usual gusto.
Between the laughs the terror of McDormand’s Captain Dubois and the breathtaking virtual European tour the Zoosters’ accidental vacation is one worth taking. Madagascar 3 is by no means an insta-classic but it’s a perfectly suited for your Summer-at-the-movies oasis.
Theatrics slapstick and cheer are cinematic qualities you rarely find outside the realm of animation. Disney perfected it with their pantheon of cartoon classics mixing music humor spectacle and light-hearted drama that swept up children while still capturing the imaginations and hearts of their parents. But these days even reinterpretations of fairy tales get the gritty make-over leaving little room for silliness and unfiltered glee. Emerging through that dark cloud is Mirror Mirror a film that achieves every bit of imagination crafted by its two-dimensional predecessors and then some. Under the eye of master visualist Tarsem Singh (The Fall Immortals) Mirror Mirror's heightened realism imbues it with the power to pull off anything — and the movie never skimps on the anything.
Like its animated counterparts Mirror Mirror stays faithful to its source material but twists it just enough to feel unique. When Snow White (Lily Collins) was a little girl her father the King ventured into a nearby dark forest to do battle with an evil creature and was never seen or heard from again. The kingdom was inherited by The Queen (Julia Roberts) Snow's evil stepmother and the fair-skinned beauty lived locked up in the castle until her 18th birthday. Grown up and tired of her wicked parental substitute White sneaks out of the castle to the village for the first time. There she witnesses the economic horrors The Queen has imposed upon the people of her land all to fuel her expensive beautification. Along the way Snow also meets Prince Alcott (Armie Hammer) who is suffering from his own money troubles — mainly being robbed by a band of stilt-wearing dwarves. When the Queen catches wind of the secret excursion she casts Snow out of the castle to be murdered by her assistant Brighton (Nathan Lane).
Fairy tales take flack for rejecting the idea of women being capable but even with its flighty presentation and dedication to the old school Disney method Mirror Mirror empowers its Snow White in a genuine way thanks to Collins' snappy charming performance. After being set free by Brighton Snow crosses paths with the thieving dwarves and quickly takes a role on their pilfering team (which she helps turn in to a Robin Hooding business). Tarsem wisely mines a spectrum of personalities out of the seven dwarves instead of simply playing them for one note comedy. Sure there's plenty of slapstick and pun humor (purposefully and wonderfully corny) but each member of the septet stands out as a warm compassionate companion to Snow even in the fantasy world.
Mirror Mirror is richly designed and executed in true Tarsem-fashion with breathtaking costumes (everything from ball gowns to the dwarf expando-stilts to ridiculous pirate ship hats with working canons) whimsical sets and a pitch-perfect score by Disney-mainstay Alan Menken. The world is a storybook and even its monsters look like illustrations rather than photo-real creations. But what makes it all click is the actors. Collins holds her own against the legendary Julia Roberts who relishes in the fun she's having playing someone despicable. She delivers every word with playful bite and her rapport with Lane is off-the-wall fun. Armie Hammer riffs on his own Prince Charming physique as Alcott. The only real misgiving of the film is the undercooked relationship between him and Snow. We know they'll get together but the journey's half the fun and Mirror Mirror serves that portion undercooked.
Children will swoon for Mirror Mirror but there's plenty here for adults — dialogue peppered with sharp wisecracks and a visual style ripped from an elegant tapestry. The movie wears its heart on its sleeve and rarely do we get a picture where both the heart and the sleeve feel truly magical.
Alejandro Brugues' film - about a Cuban walking dead takeover - scored the big prize just two days before the project's limited U.S. release date.
Top jury prizes went to to Cristian Jimenez's Bonsai, Bart Layton's The Imposter and Expiration Date by director Kenya Marquez.
Barkin thought the "affair" with Bart Freundlich was a terrible idea and told Moore it wouldn't last.
The Kids Are All Right star says, "I was hugely embarrassed about it, so I tried to keep it a secret. Barkin knew. I was on the phone with her and I wouldn’t admit it, but she knew and she was going, 'Don’t do it'. But I always say, it all worked out. We stayed together, and we have these kids together."
She tells More magazine, "(Now, we're like) 'Wow, we did it!’ Marriage is commitment; it’s the ultimate challenge... Family is the ultimate narrative... It gives a story to your life in a remarkable way."
Groening, who created Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie Simpson in the 1980s, was joined at the ceremony on Tuesday (14Feb12) by Hank Azaria, Nancy Cartwright, and Yeardley Smith, who voice several of the characters on the show.
The screenwriter said at the unveiling, "I want to thank Nancy Cartwright, who channelled a ten-year-old, troubled boy, the day I met her in 1987 and here's a secret about the show - whenever we run into a spot of trouble, a moment of silence, we just throw in an off screen voice of Bart Simpson saying 'Aye Carumba' and it fixes the joke."
We were so thrilled with the recent news that Louis C.K. is returning to Parks and Recreation to rustle the recent reunion between Leslie (Amy Poehler) and Ben (Adam Scott) that we got to thinking. Louis C.K. was such a killer guest star on Parks -- there have to be more of his kind. And once we started thinking about it, we realized there's an overabundance of great romantic guest stars on our favorite sitcoms, which means we had to whittle it down to a few of our favorites. Maybe we're not that great at whittling, because we've still got 12, but they're all pretty unforgettable so I'm sure you'll forgive us.
Louis C.K. on Parks & Recreation
The comedian's comedian stopped by Pawnee, Ind. for a few episodes to let his bumbling character, Dave, steal fair Leslie's heart. While their romance almost hit the skids before it started thanks to that whole Madeline Albright/ Leslie's grandma confusion, Louis C.K. eventually made a good impression by putting up with Leslie's drunken late-night visit and her tireless tirade on the pre-teen bully/vandal/prankster/Bart Simpson wannabe, Greg Pikitis. Dave never really knew quite the right thing to say, but he was always earnest and sweet, and he made Leslie light up like a Christmas Tree. His return spells trouble for Beslie (is that what we call them?), but I'm still amped to see him come back.
Matt Damon on 30 Rock
I struggled with choosing Michael Sheen or Matt Damon for this entry, but then I remembered the explosive breakup between Carol Burnett (Damon) and Liz (Tina Fey). Sorry, Wesley Snipes (Sheen), "Gangway for Footcycle" gets me everytime, but nothing beats a pilot's discount at Sunglass hut. Damon was pitch perfect for Liz; from his name (a reference to Liz and Fey's comedy heroine), to his constant references to mundane pilot perks that Liz would enjoy more than any other human, to his stalwart love for her show (which no one else in the world seems to give two cheesy blasters about), Carol is perfect for Liz...for a little while anyway. Eventually, they get points for the best breakup ever because they both hold up an entire plane in order for them to figure out they're just too similar. Classic.
Elizabeth Banks on 30 Rock
Just as Liz met her double in Carol, Jack (Alec Baldwin) met his match in Avery Jessup (Elizabeth Banks), the conservative financial reporter. Together, they worshipped Ronald Reagan, bought their daughter a saddle to ride the maid, and both shreiked with terror when their baby was not only born in CANADA, but with the help of socialized medicine. The horror. Avery too, had to say farewell, and in another dramatic way -- she was kidnapped and taken to North Korea, never to be heard from again. This show sure knows how to get rid of a guest star, eh?
Woody Harrelson on Will & Grace
I promise, I'm not trying to write about all NBC series, but man do they get great guest stars. You may remember that Connick Jr. was the yin to Grace's (Debra Messing) yang as Dr. Leo Markus, but by far, her best boyfriend had to be the slovenly Nathan (Harrelson). As her neighbor, Nathan first drives her crazy, but of course hate turns to sexual tension and they end up together for a good chunk of Season 3. Of course, their breakup circumstances are pretty hilarious as well -- they all stem from Nathan's cry of "Marry me" during sex. They're awkward around eachother until Grace decides that in order to fix it, she'll propose to him. But he says no and breaks it off. Word to the wise: don't propose marriage during bedroom activities.
Luke Wilson on That 70s Show
We thought nothing could come between Eric (Topher Grace) and Donna (Laura Prepon), but apparently all it takes is a Kelso. No, not Michael (Ashton Kutcher), but Casey Kelso the Trans-Am-driving charmer sure does the trick. He's slimy and the complete anti-Eric, but he knows how to play the system and he's old enough to drink beer. Swoon, amirite? He's just as dumb as his younger brother, but he's so charming, that Donna doesn't seem to catch on until Bob orders Donna to stop dating him and Casey doesn't seem to care. She wanted a laid-back dude, didn't she?
Megan Mullally on Parks & Recreation
As Ron Swanson's (Nick Offerman) second ex-wife, Tammy, Mullally draws on the already hilarious relationship with her real life husband (Offerman) to simultaneously terrify Ron and whip him into a disgustingly sexual frenzy. And her second appearance sees the craziest Ron we've ever witnessed, with cornrows, a boxing robe and a lack of mustache -- from the friction. Shudder.
Kristen Bell on Party Down
If there's anyone better to play a tiny, adorable, unbearably uptight girlfriend and catering manager, point me in their direction, but I think you'll find that Kristen Bell is the tops. She played Uda, Henry Pollard's (Adam Scott) girlfriend after fellow cater waiter Casey (Lizzy Caplan) breaks his heart. She's terrifying, even when she's not on screen, and her love of mundane things like The Mentalist are just the icing on the cake. Her proposal for Henry to give her a call for a date is one of the most haunting comedic moments in recent memory.
on Family Guy
Brian is obnoxiously pseudo-intellectual. He constantly assumes he's so much smarter than every other person on the show, though he's constantly shown to be completely pretentious. Nothing quite drives that point into the ground like his on-again-off-again girlfriend, Jillian. She was gorgeous, blonde and a complete and total idiot. She completely puffs up Brian's confidence in that she's so hot and that she constantly needs him to explain just about everything to her. "How do I know if I'm Jewish?" "Are you Jewish?" "Nope." "There you go, sport."
The School of Rock star will be among the card sharks competing for big bucks at the All-In to Win for Hope event next month (29Oct11) at the Commerce Casino in California.
Black will be joined by a slew of other stars, among them High School Musical's Bart Johnson, former Saved by the Bell star Dennis Haskins and actress Camryn Manheim.
Proceeds from the event will be donated to the Renal Support Network, which benefits those affected by chronic kidney disease, and Love Across The Ocean, a non-profit organisation which helps refugees from all over the world start a new life.
Event chairman Dale Wade Davis says, "We are excited to have Jack Black participate in our second annual celebrity poker tournament. On behalf of our tournament partner, Love Across The Ocean, we look forward to an afternoon full of entertainment and are honoured to have Jack help us raise awareness about chronic kidney disease and the importance of organ donation, as well as the plight of refugee families."