Jim Davis (Bale) is an Afghanistan War veteran who still dreams of night vision combat. He seems to find comfort in his Mexican girlfriend but he goes back to L.A. to hang with his “homie ” Mike (Freddy Rodriguez). Mike in turn is married to the lovely Sylvia (Eva Longoria) a successful lawyer who wants her man to find a purpose in life too--or at least a paycheck. Jim thinks the easy ticket will be a law enforcement job so he can take care of both of them but he’s rejected. So the duo hit their old haunts stealing drugs getting high and faking phone calls from prospective employers. But they’ve got to do a quick come down after Jim gets a call from the Department of Homeland Security. The fact he’s already smoked up will not bode well for the urine test. Still Jim finds a way to slip through because this job is more than a power trip for Jim. It could allow him to bring his girlfriend to the U.S. and marry her. Nothing goes exactly as planned though. Mike must choose between his dangerous friend and his loving stable girl while Jim must survive his past to have any chance at a future. If Christian Bale is starring in an indie you know he going to be at least slightly psycho--American Psycho The Machinist to name a few. Few could make Jim as realistic as he does. Denzel Washington successfully does a charismatic street tough in Training Day but the British Bale has the manner and language down. When he says homie and other less printable slang it sounds like he knows how to use it carrying himself like the pompous gangsta. He’s scary seems unstoppable and you actually may want him to meet his end. Rodriguez plays Mike like a naïve man-child going along with his buddy despite evidence that it’s not in his best interest. It’s the less showy part so it’s hard to compare but you always believe him in the role. Longoria has a truly thankless part the totally normal one in a crazy world. The audience will relate and side with her but the actress has no chance to show any crazy quirks. All the time her Sylvia is so much classier you wonder what the attraction ever was to Mike. Some supporting actors also stand out. J.K. Simmons does his authority thing as the Homeland Security recruiter while Terry Crews is the most dimensional drug dealer seen in a while. He’ll do crime but he admonishes the boys to respect their ladies. Everyone will call Harsh Times gritty but what does that mean? Is it because of the language and violence? That’s a no-brainer in a crime story. Is it because the film is all grainy? That makes it look like a home movie but it doesn’t make “Baby’s First Bath” gritty. Is it because it’s dimly lit? That’s just hard to see not gritty. Harsh Times is all those things but the problem is who wants to watch this? Director David Ayer does create a believable world of street life but the plot ambles on. Two unredeemable guys get into trouble. They toke up but aren’t funny about it. They fight and shoot people but for no reason. They amuse each other but their exploits are hardly cinematic. It’s actually not all that entertaining of a world to visit but it achieves the discomfort an audience would feel like driving through the streets with their windows rolled up. Maybe that’s the moral of the story but honestly we don’t need a two-hour lecture; we already know.
At least Bewitched has the smarts to reinvent itself contemporizing rather than going for a straight remake. First we meet Isabel (Nicole Kidman) a naïve good-natured witch who wants to give up her supernatural powers to lead a "normal" life--much to the chagrin of her warlock father Nigel (Michael Caine). He doesn't believe she can do it. Neither do we. Then on the other side of town we meet Jack Wyatt (Will Ferrell) a nearly washed-up actor who's done one too many bad films. To get back on track he decides to do an updated version of the beloved 1960s sitcom Bewitched. As the mere-mortal Darrin Wyatt would be the star of the show not the actress cast as Samantha. In order for that to happen a nobody must play the witch. Lo and behold Jack runs into Isabel who can manipulate her dainty nose in just the right wriggle. He persuades her to take the part while she sees Jack as the quintessential mortal man with whom she can settle down and lead the normal life she so desires. Think it'll work out? (Cue the Bewitched theme song).
We all know Kidman can play complicated and romantic and Ferrell can do comedy. But in Bewitched they each try to do something beyond those skill sets. Unfortunately they can't quite pull it off. Kidman of course is a consummate actress. She can take on just about any character and make it her own including the slightly ditzy eternally cute Isabel. And so she taps into her inner witch once again (like she did in Practical Magic). But trying to remake comedies (like The Stepford Wives) especially something as balls-out as Bewitched doesn't really suit the Oscar winner all that well. And in Ferrell's case he hilariously handles all of Bewitched's improvisational comedic moments as expected. But watching him try to be a romantic leading man is a bit cringe-worthy. I mean if you can make smooching on Nicole Kidman look uncomfortable you certainly aren't doing the job. As far as the rest of the cast everyone is pretty much wasted in one form or another. Caine as Isabel's debonair roué of a father and Shirley MacLaine as the diva-esque actress who plays Bewitched's wonderful Endora have a couple of bright moments but don't get nearly enough to do. The same goes for Jason Schwartzman (Rushmore) as Jack's unctuous agent and Kristin Chenoweth (from the Broadway musical Wicked) as Isabel's spirited neighbor. Even Steve Carrell (TV's The Office) as the irascible Uncle Arthur can't offer the right spontaneity. What a shame.
One of Bewitched's saving graces however is writer-director Nora Ephron. She knows romantic comedies having helmed such hits as Sleepless in Seattle and You've Got Mail as well as writing the quintessential romantic comedy When Harry Met Sally…. Bewitched is right up her alley and she fluffs it up like a pro. Yet overall the film is just too darn silly for its own good. Maybe Bewitched suffers from the whole TV-turned-film phenomena in general. The idea of taking such classic TV favorites and adapting them into feature films continues to prove there isn't a shred of originality left in the studio system. But sometimes the concept works (Starsky & Hutch is one that comes to mind). Fans like me are curious as to how filmmakers will rework the material and are especially interested in who they decide to cast to play those beloved icons. We end up giving each one of these big-screen treatment iterations a chance--and are usually disappointed. Bewitched is no exception. Besides being only mildly entertaining to diehard fans Bewitched's inside jokes will most likely go over the heads of those who can't tell Samantha Darrin Endora Aunt Clara Uncle Arthur or Mrs. Kravitz from the characters on I Dream of Jeannie. Probably best just to own the sitcom's DVD collection instead.