Look out J.K. Rowling and Stephenie Meyer — there's going to be a little kompetition coming your way. Kendall and Kylie Jenner have decided to expand the Kardashian empire by penning their very own science fiction novel. The reality stars made the announcement to E! News on Thursday, revealing that their upcoming novel (set to come out next summer) will be aimed at the young-adult audiences, especially those who can't get enough of Harry Potter, Twilight, and The Hunger Games collections.
Right now, they're collaborating with co-writer Maya Sloane on the Sci-Fi story "set 200 years in the future," meaning this could just be the first in a possible series franchise. That's right, people — this could only be the beginning of the girls' writing careers... you can almost hear Hemingway and Dickens rolling over in their graves right now.
But these girls aren't the only Hollywood celebs who have tried their hand at the written word. Here's a look back at some of Hollywood's most... interesting... literary creations and a break down of all the madness.
Book Title: L.A. Candy
What It Sounds Like: A popular teenage girl clothing store.
What It's Really About: A 19-year-old teenage girl who gets introduced to the wonders (and horrors) of finding fame in L.A.
Sample Line That Will Kill Your Soul: “It's always better to be the dumper than the dumpee.”
Success: Topped the New York Times Best Seller list two weeks in a row.
Perfect Consumer: You grew up in a small town and dream of venturing out into the big city. You crave being in the spotlight and hate the idea of a desk job. You secretly reenact scenes from Fame in your bedroom (while using your brush a microphone, of course).
Book Title: A Shore Thing
What It Sounds Like: Some type of beach creature.
What It's Really About: Two girls enjoying everything a summer at the Jersey Shore has to offer: cool clubs, fried Oreos, lots of tequila, and, of course, hot guidos.
Sample Line That Will Kill Your Soul: "Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky."
Success: Landed No. 24 on the New York Times Best Seller list.
Perfect Consumer: The only thing you love more than tanning and going to the beach, is drinking... lots and lots of drinking. You're probably in college and love to party.
Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney Kardashian
Book Title: Dollhouse
What It Sounds Like: An item one could easily find at Toys R Us.
What It's Really About: An exciting, high-profile, complicated family with a huge heart and a lot of love.
Sample Line That Will Kill Your Soul: "That girl is such a slore — honestly, she's like one giant yeast infection."
Success: Landed No. 15 on the New York Times Best Sellers list and No. 25 on the Publisher's Weekly Best Seller list.
Perfect Consumer: You have (or want to have) a big family. You're a huge reality TV buff and have even watched Keeping Up With the Kardashians episodes more than once. Your mother probably doesn't approve of your wardrobe.
Book Title: Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever
What It Sounds Like: The lesser known extension to the Step Up movie franchise.
What It's Really About: A tell-all story about Bieber's journey from small-town schoolboy to global superstar.
Sample Line That Will Kill Your Soul: "Pranks vs school= pranks win all day.”
Success: The book was on the New York Times Best Seller list five weeks in a row.
Perfect Consumer: I'm sorry to be the one to have to tell you this... but you I'm afraid you have Bieber Fever.
Book Title: Skinnydipping
What It Sounds Like: A famous pool party activity.
What It's Really About: The misadventures of a struggling actress and aspiring businesswoman who is in the pursuit of the female trifecta: the perfect man, job, and body.
Sample Line That Will Kill Your Soul: "My failure would make just as good TV as my success, so nobody cares whether I win or not."
Success: Landed No. 15 on the New York Times Best Seller list.
Perfect Consumer: You're a fun, confident person who has a tendency to wear your heart on your sleeve. Drama tends to gravitate toward you even when you don't want it to. You love drinking margaritas.
Follow Kelly on Twitter @KellyBean0415
[Photo credit: Wenn.com]
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Mr. Bieber Goes to Washington...Kind Of
Improving on his last two duds The Village and the dreadful aquatic nymph tale Lady In The Water writer/producer/director M. Night Shyamalan gets back to the kind of eerie paranoid thriller he so successfully mined in early efforts like The Sixth Sense and Signs. The results this time are mixed in this story of a mysterious environmental “happening” on the East Coast that is causing large groups of people to commit suicide. As he does in his most effective films Shyamalan focuses on a core group of people who must find a way to survive these strange events. Elliot (Mark Wahlberg) is a Philadelphia science teacher already dealing with marital problems with his attractive but rather unstable wife Alma (Zooey Deschanel) now thrust into full crisis mode as he his wife a fellow math teacher Julian (John Leguizamo) and Julian’s daughter Jess (Ashlyn Sanchez) hit the road by train then car to escape the unusual plague first thought to be a terrorist attack. The group soon realizes it is more than that perhaps a forceful message from Mother Nature cued by the growing winds and rustling of tree leaves. Joined eventually by two older boys Jared (Robert Bailey Jr.) and Josh (Spencer Breslin) Elliot tries to be the voice of reason as each person begins to meet their own fates on a journey into a heartland of unexplainable terror. Unlike most contemporary horror films in which actors must battle butt-ugly creatures most of the genuine frights in this flick are left to our imagination. Here Shyamalan wants us to experience what the characters are going through the abject fear on their faces. Wahlberg is particularly good at expressing a growing feeling that events are slipping out of his control. He’s amusing in a direct encounter with a house plant he fears may now have the upper hand and in the film’s best sequence where he must convince a batty paranoid old woman (an intense Betty Buckley) to let the group stay in her remote farmhouse. Forced to utter lines like “just when you thought there couldn’t be any more evil invented ” the quirky Deschanel has her work cut out for her but is likeable enough in the end. As a math teacher Leguizamo spends much of his screen time calculating everyone’s odds for survival until his own becomes questionable. As his daughter Sanchez is appealing and handles herself well. Shyamalan is the heir apparent to Alfred Hitchcock--in his own mind at least. Hitch’s The Birds seems to be the template but that 1963 classic is light years ahead in every way. Unfortunately Shyamalan is becoming something of a one-trick pony as The Happening is basically a retread of things we’ve seen him do before. There is no question he has superior skills. He clearly gets the horror genre; he just doesn’t seem to know how to make it fresh anymore and the answer isn’t by ratcheting up the body count. Reportedly 20th Century Fox asked him deliberately to make an R rated film (his first) and its those gore-filled elements which seem superfluous here. Do we really need to see a guy commit suicide by willingly letting some zoo lions rip off his arms? It’s glaring and out of place with the subtler aspects of the director’s style. Plus the use of overbearing and obvious music cues (score is by James Newton Howard) shamelessly telegraphs whatever scares the movie and only serves to emphasize the shortcomings of M. Night’s sketchy screenplay. Still as a summertime time-waster The Happening fills the bill but as an eco-thriller with dire warnings for humankind it drowns in its own promising potential.
With its twisty-turning plot and military setting Basic could be the love child of an illicit affair between The Usual Suspects and The General's Daughter; it even borrows the star of the latter. In Basic John Travolta plays Tom Hardy a former Army Ranger and interrogator extraordinaire who's now a DEA agent in Panama suspended from duty on suspicion of bribery. He's hitting the rebellious law enforcement officer's requisite bottle of Jack Daniels heavily--until an old friend on the local army base Col. Bill Styles (Tim Daly) calls him in to investigate the disappearances and probable deaths of an elite group of trainees and their commander Sgt. Nathan West (Samuel L Jackson) during a training session in the Panamanian jungle. Staff investigator Lt. Julia Osbourne (Connie Nielsen) a plucky Southern gal who's none too pleased with Hardy's invasion of her turf is assigned to help Hardy question the unit's surviving members Kendall (Giovanni Ribisi) and Dunbar (Brian Van Holt). As their stories unfold over a series of flashbacks the interrogators discover a military underworld of drugs murder and coercion--and the mysterious existence of a rogue Ranger unit called "Section 8." Now for an interrogation of our own. Is the plot convoluted? Sir yes sir! Is it too tricky for its own good? Sir yes sir! Thank you soldier. You may stand down.
The trigger-finger pointing winking cluck-clucking "gotcha" persona Travolta (Swordfish Domestic Disturbance) creates in Hardy is as appropriate to the story as it can possibly be; the way he manipulates his subjects under interrogation is much the same way the story manipulates its audience. He leads them--and the observant Lt. Osbourne--to believe one thing then pulls the rug out from under them to prove the old cliché of military movies: that nothing is as it seems. In Nielsen's (The Hunted One Hour Photo) Osbourne we're given a character who could lead us through the jungle of the plot (she discovers the "facts" at the same time as the audience so her reaction is meant I suppose to be ours) but since Hardy spends much of his time making her look and feel like an idiot she comes off as one and frankly so do we. The talented Jackson (Changing Lanes) mostly does the bellowing drill sergeant bit while Ribisi (Heaven) as the homosexual son of a high-ranking general talks like he has cotton wool in his mouth and moves and twitches like he's mildly brain-impaired. (His character's not supposed to be; he only got shot in the leg.) One bright spot in this movie is the featured role for hunky Van Holt (Windtalkers Black Hawk Down) whose chiseled good looks and heroic demeanor make him a shoo-in should anyone ever make a live-action Johnny Bravo movie.
Director John McTiernan has given audiences some heavy-duty action in Die Hard Die Hard With a Vengeance and The Hunt for Red October but he's also the director who brought us such gems as Rollerball and Last Action Hero so it's not surprising that in Basic we get some action and intrigue paired with the out-there story stylings and narrative confusion of some of his less successful work. Here each flashback brings new information that conflicts with what we've been told before and the story never really resolves those conflicts in any satisfying way. The "big twist" at the end instead of bringing it all together creates gaping holes in the plot or at least creates so much doubt in the story we've just spent an hour and a half watching that it's easy to get fed up with trying to figure it out. Naturally no one likes to be spoon-fed plot resolutions but in order for twists to work they have to give the audience something to focus its doubt on--they can't just call the whole kit and caboodle into question. We have to be able eventually to figure it out. But hey maybe we aren't supposed to work out the details; after all this movie with its catchy one-word title and colorful cast of characters is just begging for a sequel: Basic 2: Explaining the First Movie.