This week was all about Chloe's quips. The B took her bitchiness to a new, horrifying level, and for the most part she was kind of hilarious. Well, there were a few extra nasty digs, but it has to balance out at some point, right? Also, the poor thing is so f***ed up she really just can't help herself. Also, is it just me or did it look like she got a bizarre botched bang job? Anyway, behold: Chloe's 10 bitchiest quotes of the week.
10. "Oh, I just realized, I hate you." The blondes were all wearing matching hot pink shirts, to be fair.
9. "You've just been mind-forked." I think I would like that.
8. "Carmen, for the love of God, can you stop quoting La Bamba?" Actually, yes, quoting La Bamba is not normal.
7. "Later, stupid!" I mean, whatever.
6. "Why are you saying what you're saying, you're boring." Is there anything worse than being called boring?
5. "Stop watching these dating shows and get in the game." Wait, what dating show?
4. "We're not here to see around and talk about tampons." No one, ever, talk about Tampons in public.
3. "Can we punch Luther?" Yes, please someone punch Luther.
2. "This [picnic] sucks." Picnics don't suck.
1. "We're just roommates. We are not friends." Burn.
[Image Credit: Kelsey McNeal/ABC]
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Our dear friend Chloe never leaves us disappointed in the borderline evil and downright bitch department — so much so that she's rubbed off on the rest of the gang. (Yes including small-time-girl June-bug.) SO MUCH SO that every episode is like one big bitch fest sprinkled with only a few relatively heartwarming moments (if you can even call them that). And because I simply can't list all of the hurtful things our pals say to strangers — and to one another — I have compiled the top 10.
10. Old red zip-up windbreaker man threatening June in only the nastiest of ways by shouting, "Move or I'll kick you in the clam!"
9. Chloe's new nickname for June: Judge Judy.
8. Angry, pale neighbors screaming "WHORES" into the "brothel," or what they've deemed J and C's apartment.
7. Coffee shop man Mark growing long, creepy pubic-like sideburns and bashing his ex-girlfriend like she never ever mattered at all. Ex girlfriends matter, okay?
6. Dawson boning a slore in June's room in the middle of the day and then snapping when she acknowledges it.
5. Chloe despising single moms for the sole fact that "they make such a big deal about it." (Though kind of true, no?)
4. June bringing Chloe to the pleather-clad cougar bar, Saddlebags. So, it's a little funny.
3. "I couldn't do it. I couldn't marry a farmer! — Who else.
2. June slamming a poor and helpless Janice Dickinson for being a desperate cougar. Leave the poor lady alone!
1. Luther circling "problem areas" on a skinny blonde with a Sharpie marker. What is this, sorority pledging?
[Image Credit: ABC]
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Top Story: Prince William and Ashton Kutcher Vie for Bachelor Crown
People magazine released its list of the 25 hottest bachelors Wednesday--but readers get to decide whether Prince William or Ashton Kutcher will be crowned No. 1. The magazine's June 30 issue offers readers a side-by-side comparison of the two, but the similarities seem to end at their height (both men are 6-foot-3). The 20-year-old Prince William, who is second in line to the British throne, dates "blue-blooded babes." Kutcher, who stars in Fox's That '70s Show and the MTV series Punk'd, prefers the company of "Hollywood hotties." He was previously involved with his Just Married co-star Brittany Murphy and is now reportedly dating 40-year-old actress Demi Moore--15 years his senior. Other hot bachelors on the list include choreographer Cris Judd, Jennifer Lopez 's ex-husband; American Idol judge Simon Cowell; actor Colin Hanks, Tom Hanks' son; and North Carolina police officer Jeffrey Postell, who arrested fugitive Eric Rudolph, The Associated Press reports. Readers can post their vote online at People's Web site.
Anderson and Rock on the Rocks?
There is trouble in paradise for V.I.P. star Pamela Anderson and rocker Kid Rock. The couple has been engaged since April 2002, but during a promotional appearance for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals in Florida last week, Anderson wasn't wearing her engagement ring. She also showed up at party at the Playboy mansion last Tuesday without Rock, whose real name is Bob Ritchie. "Assume what you want about a wedding," Anderson told US Weekly magazine when asked about future wedding plans. "I'm here with family and friends. That might be a hint."
Rachel Hunter Files for Divorce From Rod Stewart
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Alexander Joins Jag Spin-Off
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Luther Vandross' Album No. 1
R&B singer Luther Vandross' new album, Dance With My Father, debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard 200 Wednesday, selling about 442,000 units in its first week of release, according to industry retail monitor Nielsen SoundScan. Vandross, 52, suffered a serious stroke on April 16 and has since then been in the care of Weill Cornell Medical Center of New York Presbyterian Hospital. Last week, Vandross was finally moved out of intensive care and his manager reported he was growing more responsive each day.
Aiken and Studdard Release Singles
Clay Aiken, the runner-up on the Fox network's American Idol, saw his single debuted at No. 1 on Billboard's singles charts Wednesday, selling nearly 393,000 copies. "This Is The Night--Bridge Over Troubled Water" had the biggest debut since Elton John's "Candle in the Wind," which sold about 3.5 million in its first week in 1997. American Idol winner Ruben Studdard's single, "Flying Without Wings-Superstar" wasn't too far behind, selling about 286,000 copies. Since record companies have put out fewer and fewer singles in recent years, emphasizing the sales of albums, it has become rare to see No. 1 singles sell more than 20,000 copies in their first week.
Cher's Tour Outdoes Younger Acts
After more than 140 shows, Cher's Living Proof Farewell Tour has grossed $130 million and enters its second summer as one of the season's strongest draws, Reuters reports. The tour's success comes as a surprise, considering hyped summer tours such as Christina Aguilera and Justin Timberlake and Mariah Carey aren't doing quite the hoped-for business. Looks like the singer knows how to our her money where her mouth is: During her long-running farewell concert tour, the 57-year-old singer cracks a ringmaster's whip and issues a stern warning to would-be successors "J.Lo, Britney and Christina," challenging them to "top this, you bitches."
Role Call: Duchovny Makes Directing Debut
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