You wouldn't think that a man who invented and profited off something called "The String Dance" would ever age. But it's true: Today, Conan O'Brien turned 50 and then we all turned to each other with expressions that can only be described as "WhaaaaaA?" followed by an auditory "No. Way." But 'tis true: Coco is half a century old.
Luckily, to offset the mind-blowing truth of O'Brien's age, we've got eight other celebs who've just entered the fifth decade of their lives. Okay, so that might blow your mind a little more. But you'll live.
Basketball Legend Michael JordanThat title almost works better when you're 50.
Mad Man About Town John SlatteryAge ain't nothing but a number, and this silver fox has still got it (even after puking on the floor at Sterling Cooper).
Tom Cruise: Still Kicking Ass in Space at 50And still wooing ladies just a hair above half his age on screen too.
Straight Up, Paula Abdul's Still Got the MovesSeriously. Don't challenge this former Laker girl to a dance contest. You will lose.
Steve Carell Wore Spandex in Burt Wonderstone and Got Away With ItBut he reminds me of my dad so that's all the commentary I can provide for this 50s clubber.
Demi Moore, Is 50, Still Looks 30Life is cruel, folks.
Okay, We Know Jodie Foster's 50After all, she practically hit us over the head with during her rambling Golden Globes speech this year.
Forever-Duck Emilio EstevezHe'll always be our Mighty Ducks coach, even in 20 years when he's 70.
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A jukebox musical is the epitome of reverse-engineered entertainment. Take a set of songs linked together by a common thread arrange them for Broadway belters and fill in the gaps with enough narrative to convince the audience they're not sitting through a large-scale cover band concert. Silly satisfying and familiar — the perfect combination for a crowd-pleaser. Rock of Ages the big screen adaptation of the hit stage musical manages to make the simplistic formula feel even lazier. Starting off like a full-on '80s movie spoof Rock of Ages quickly loses footing with a bombardment of overproduced tunes lip-synced by its celebrity cast. Simply put: it doesn't rock. At all.
The film opens with small town Kansas gal Sherrie Christian (Julianne Hough) hopping on a bus to make it big in Hollywood. There's a glimmer of hope as she duets Night Ranger's "Sister Christian" with a bus driver — maybe Rock of Ages really will be this fun and absurd. But when Sherrie arrives at The Bourbon Room the city's premiere rock club and only second to Disneyland as the least threatening place in L.A. the movie spins out of control. Sherrie quickly strikes up a relationship with bartender/aspiring musician Drew (Diego Boneta) is hired by club owner Dennis Dupree (Alec Baldwin) and his second-in-command Lonny (Russell Brand) and becomes entangled in the joint's big attempt to stay afloat: the legendary Stacee Jaxx's (Tom Cruise) last concert before going solo.
Sticking with Sherrie as she explores the crazy hair metal scene is fun but director Adam Shankman (Hairspray Bedtime Stories) and his team of writers insist on piling more and more stuff on to Rock of Ages shoulders. There's politician wife Patricia Whitmore (Catherine Zeta-Jones) and her campaign against The Bourbon Room. There's Rolling Stone reporter Constance Sack (Malin Åkerman) who hopes to land one more interview with Jaxx. There's Jaxx's manager Paul Gill (Paul Giamatti) who responds to the fading rock scene with ambitions of starting a boy band with Drew. Anything that can open the door for more songs — pointless as the plot points may be — Shankman throws into the shuffle. Unfortunately the ears can only take so much autotune.
The upside of the clunky script is some genuinely funny moments souped up by the comedic prowess of the supporting cast (a baboon named HeyMan throwing bottles at Giamatti Cruise singing "I Want to Know What Love Is" into Ackerman's butt). Hough and Boneta have nothing to contribute to Rock of Ages hammy leads with no material who pale in comparison to their '80s romantic predecessors. But the rest of the crew throw up sign of the horns and try their best to crank up the craziness Baldwin and Brand making a case for a spin-off with their wacky rapport. A musical number in which the duo finally realizes their passion for one another would have made a great Funny or Die video but padded with the filler of Rock of Ages it has no room to shine. Even Cruise who kills whenever he's musing full rock star mode struggles to make the paper thin Stacee Jaxx work in his musical moments. The recordings are flat and lifeless automatically putting a strain on the performers.
The music and the movies of the '80s share a similar aesthetic. They're over-the-top they're hot and sweaty and they're about not giving a damn. Raw fun. Rock of Ages fails to capture that feel in both visuals and song blowing out the flame of every lighter-waving moment with its stale recreation. For an energetic entertaining two hours of classic rock tunes stick to karaoke.
We've got a week to go until the Charlie Sheen Roast hits television sets across the country, but the event itself went down this past weekend on Sept. 10 in Culver City, Calif. Lucky for us, Comedy Central released a few choice clips including Sheen's self-indulgent, raucous entry complete with a live soundtrack courtesy of Slash; a cringe-worthy comparison to another troubled star thanks to Roastmaster Seth MacFarlane; and a wealth of "whore" puns at the hands of Jeffrey Ross. This may be why our children are getting dumber. Of course, that doesn't mean we won't be watching this sure-fire spectacle on Sept. 19. It will be fine. We'll just drown our shame over the whole ordeal with some greasy chinese takeout and cheap beer. Shame plus more shame equals apathy and uncontrollable laughter with no time for remorse, which is basically the only way to make it through these Roasts. For now, you can munch on that egg roll you still have hiding in the back of your fridge from Saturday night. That should be enough to get you through these short previews.
The Roast of Charlie SheenMon, Sept 19 10/9cPreview - Charlie's Entrancewww.comedycentral.comComedy CentralFunny TV ShowsRoast of Charlie Sheen
The Roast of Charlie SheenMon, Sept 19 10/9cPreview - Seth MacFarlane - Charlie's Obituarywww.comedycentral.comComedy CentralFunny TV ShowsRoast of Charlie Sheen
The Roast of Charlie SheenMon, Sept 19 10/9cPreview - Jeffrey Ross - Family Obligationwww.comedycentral.comComedy CentralFunny TV ShowsRoast of Charlie Sheen
Pedro Almodovar's Volver picked up five honors at the Goya Awards in Madrid last night, including Best Picture, Best Director and Best Actress for Penelope Cruz.
The movie, which had received 14 nominations, also won Best Original Soundtrack for Alberto Iglesias.
On collecting her Best Actress award, Cruz said, "This award is very important, very special for me. I am going to try not to cry because I'm a disaster, and these 30 seconds are not going to be enough."
Pan's Labyrinth, which is nominated for the Best Foreign Language Film at next month's Oscars, collected the most awards--seven in total, including Best Original Screenplay for Mexican writer/director Guillermo Del Toro.
Del Toro said, "My relationship with Spain as a filmmaker is one of profound admiration and respect... that began with the hand of Pedro (Almodovar)."
Elsewhere, Juan Diego won Best Actor for Vete de Mi, while Stephen Frears’ The Queen won Best European film.
The full list of winners is:
Best Actress--Penelope Cruz, Volver
Best Actor--Juan Diego, Vete de Mi
Best Director--Pedro Almodovar, Volver
Best Original Screenplay--Guillermo Del Toro, Pan's Labyrinth
Best Adapted Screenplay--Lluis Arcarazo, Salvador
Best First-Time Director--Daniel Sanchez Arevalo, DarkBlueAlmostBlack
Best European Film--The Queen
Best Foreign Spanish-Language Film--Las Manos, by Alejandro Doria(Argentina)
Best Supporting Actress--Carmen Maura, Volver
Best Supporting Actor--Antonio De La Torre, DarkBlueAlmostBlack
Best Breakthrough Performance, Actor--Quim Gutierrez, DarkBlueAlmostBlack
Best Breakthrough Performance, Actress--Ivana Baquero, Pan's Labyrinth
Best Animated Feature--The Hairy Tooth Fairy, by Juan Pablo Buscarini
Best Art Direction--Benjamin Fernandez, Alatriste
Best Cinematography--Guillermo Navarro, Pan's Labyrinth
Best Line Production--Cristina Zumarraga, Alatriste
Best Documentary Short--Castanuela 70, El Teatro Prohibido, by Manuel Calvo and Olga Margallo
Best Animated Short Film--El Viaje De Said, by Coke Rioboo
Best Live-Action Short Film--A Ciegas, by Salvador Gomez Cuenca
Best Visual Effects--David Marti, Montse Ribe, Reyes Abades, Everett Burrell, Edward Irastorza and Emilio Ruiz, Pan's Labyrinth
Best Costume Design--Francesca Sartori, Alatriste
Best Documentary Feature--Cineastas en Accion, by Carlos Benpar
Best Film Editing--Bernat Vilaplana, Pan's Labyrinth
Best Sound--Miguel Polo and Martin Hernandez, Pan's Labyrinth
Best Original Score--Alberto Iglesias, Volver
Best Original Song--“Tiempo Pequeno,” Bebe and Lucio Godoy, from The Education of a Fairy
Best Make-Up and Hair Design--Jose Quetglas and Blanca Sanchez, Pan's Labyrinth
Lifetime Achievement Award--Teddy Villalba
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Set during the Spanish Civil War of the 1940s—a favorite area of exploration for writer-director Guillermo del Toro—the story follows dreamy 11-year-old Ofelia (Ivana Baquero) as she’s uprooted and relocated to a remote military outpost when her sickly mother (Ariadna Gil) marries the wantonly cruel camp commander Captain Vidal (Sergei Lopez). With the compassionate but secretive housekeeper Mercedes (Maribel Verdu) as the closest thing to a friend she has in the oppressive environment Ofelia escapes into a richly textured fantasy world. She follows a dragonfly she believes is a fairy into a landscaped but neglected garden maze she recasts as the lair of the goatish godling Pan (Doug Jones). He tells her she’s the last heir to a magical otherworldly kingdom and charges her with several tasks to help her reclaim her birthright. As her personal world grows more and more grim—the impending birth of her half-brother threatens her mother’s health her step-father grows colder and colder in his bid to crush the resistance and Mercedes’ hidden agenda places her in jeopardy as well—Ofelia soon finds herself tangling with hideous monsters both imagined and all too real often having difficulty distinguishing which is the more dangerous. The astonishingly real performance of the amazing young Spanish actress Baquero as Ofelia anchors the film firmly in both its real world and fantasy environments as only the convincing imagination of a child could. Lopez is an equally compelling discovery as the callous Vidal pitiless vicious and malevolent while still remaining believably human throughout. He’s unblinking in his depiction of a thoroughly vile and cruel man but avoids any aspect of cartoonish evil. And Verdu (Y Tu Mama Tambien) as Mercedes is a wonder as well with her remarkably expressive face unlimited by the film’s Spanish language barriers. Kudos too to Doug Jones a whisper-thin actor who specializes in “creature” roles (he’s played Abe Sapien in del Toro’s Hellboy and will be the Silver Surfer in the Fantastic Four sequel) who somehow magically delivers fully-formed performances as both the faun Pan and the freakish Pale Man through layers and layers of latex. Pan's Labyrinth is unquestionably Guillermo del Toro’s finest film work to date as pure an artistic vision as is likely to be committed to celluloid. He wisely worked outside the Hollywood system in his native Spain to bring his dark tale to life. The story exists in that shadowy netherworld between childhood and adulthood innocence and awareness of the world’s more sinister nature and its characters and themes are explored in ways that no mainstream film would ever allow. On the surface the trappings are Tim Burton-esque but the dark corners Pan's Labyrinth peers into are grim and gloomy indeed; del Toro is never afraid to delve into the murkiest of directions that to audiences used to more conventional movies are heart-wrenching even gut-churning but ultimately emotionally honest and in unexpected ways as immensely satisfying as they are haunting. The film is the announcement of the complete arrival of a major filmmaker and we can only hope that the qualities del Toro brings to this work do not get lost in the maze of Hollywood for future films.
The Crusades were a series of religious wars in which the Christians tried to reclaim Jerusalem from the Muslims who had conquered the Middle East in the 7th century. With the battle cry of "God wills it! " thousands of Europeans answered the call and were able to retake the fabled Holy City in the 11th century. Kingdom of Heaven begins in 1186 between the Second and Third Crusades. A fragile peace prevails mostly through the efforts of Jerusalem's enlightened Christian king Baldwin IV (Edward Norton) and the military restraint of the legendary Muslim leader Saladin (Ghassan Massoud). But it's difficult to maintain the peace. There are extremists within the Christian brigades--known as the Knights Templar--who want to wipe every Muslim off the face of the Earth. On top of that King Baldwin's health is failing. Once he's gone war is sure to follow. If ever there was a need for a hero this is the time. Enter the young French blacksmith Balian (Orlando Bloom) who is in deep despair over the loss of his family. He joins the Crusades after the father he never knew Godfrey (Liam Neeson) comes back from Jerusalem and convinces him it's a quest worth fighting for. As Godfrey passes his sword to his son he also passes on that sacred knightly oath: to protect the helpless safeguard the peace and work toward harmony between religions and cultures so that a kingdom of heaven can flourish on earth. No pressure or anything though.
Orlando Bloom carries his first major motion picture very well easily handling the chores of being such a gallant conscientious and morally upstanding knight. As Balian the Troy costar plays the gamut. He broods over his lost wife and child has father-son epiphanies upholds his knightly duties on a regular basis falls in love with a beautiful but troubled princess and finally bravely defends the Holy City from the encroaching Muslim army thus becoming a legend. Not bad for a day's work eh? There are even times especially toward the end when Balian is standing before the denizens of Jerusalem urging them to fight when you swear you can see a little of Bloom's The Lord of the Rings alter-elf Legolas creep in. The supporting cast also does an adequate job painting a picture of some trying times. Chief among them: Jeremy Irons as King Baldwin's right-hand man Tiberias; Marton Csokas (The Bourne Supremacy) as the evil leader of the Knights Templar; Massoud as the great warrior Saladin; and lovely Eva Green (The Dreamers) as Princess Sibylla King Baldwin's sister who captures our hero's heart but makes some bad choices with dire consequences.
Even if these sword-and-armor epics are all blending together you've got to give props to the directors who make them. These films are massive undertakings and Kingdom of
Heaven with the expert Ridley Scott at the helm is no exception. The Oscar-winning director of course has had his fair share of recreating history first with the classic Gladiator and then with the contemporary Black Hawk Down. But in recreating the Crusades Scott faces his toughest challenge to date and takes on the responsibility very seriously. He is painstakingly meticulous with details even as he is building a 12th-century Jerusalem or corralling 2 000 heavily costumed extras for the colossal climactic battle sequences. And it is always a good thing when a historical film can teach you something you may not have known like what the heck the Crusades were really all about. No Kingdom's biggest obstacle is timing. While it certainly has more substance than Alexander it is not nearly as intense and stirring as The Lord of the Rings trilogy or the granddaddy of them all Braveheart. Too many of its ilk has come before and the concept has unfortunately worn thin.