In Barrow Alaska there comes a time each winter when sunlight fades out and darkness rolls in like an unwelcome visitor—for a month. Many people abandon the small town without hesitation while those who stay brace themselves for a storm of inhumane relentless frigidity and a test of sanity. But this year one group keeps the town warm—with blood—for its 30 days of night. The town’s two remaining law enforcers Eben (Josh Hartnett) and Stella (Melissa George) are forewarned by a strange drifter (Ben Foster) that “something’s comin’ ” but before they can even finish scoffing the sun has set and the vampires have descended or ascended upon Barrow for blood and recruitment. With only himself and Stella to keep the few living well alive Eben is forced to go on the defensive for the full 30 days. But as he soon learns these vamps are a smart breed with a perpetual case of the munchies. Just when you think Josh Hartnett has finally chosen the right role to suit his dark features and limited range—he decides not to play a vampire. Still 30 Days' constant darkness and overall chaos would seem to accentuate his positives by drowning out his negatives much the way Sin City spun and sold his small role but that’s not quite so. It turns out he’s capable of the quickie action or momentary drama but the scenes in which he is to save the er night—well it’s a good thing the Hartnett-as-Superman rumor was just that. As Hartnett’s partner in non-crime/estranged lover George (Turistas) manages to create some tension without resorting to shrieking or the drama-school histrionics we’ve come to expect from supporting actresses in horrors. Also successful is the ever-versatile Ray Winstone (The Departed) playing a grizzly outsider-turned-insider who joins the anti-vampire crusade. In a role surprisingly tiny considering his current rate of ascension in the industry Foster (3:10 to Yuma) is the best and creepiest this movie has to offer. And in the vampire corner is Danny Huston (The Number 23) who is horrifying as hell on first look only to de-emphasize that appearance by crowing and chatting instead of simply chugging blood. On the first day of night the vampires will seem scary; by the 30th day they’ll seem more like zombies—unless that’s just you projecting onto them. Director David Slade whose previous feature (the indie Hard Candy) could not have been more different from this one will initially win over horror-philes with 30 Days. After all it starts off on a high note with an almost apocalyptic aura to the impending darkness and its consequences. The story is set up adequately and the scares to come are alluded to without getting too greedy. And Slade doesn’t let us down immediately following sundown with jolting flashes of the beasts readying to overtake the small town. But once he gives them faces and personalities it doesn’t take long for the suspense to die—and die some more. That’s almost midway in after which point it becomes clear that the movie will consist only of a heavily abridged countdown to that 30th night and predictable bloodshed. As Slade nears the film’s climax 30 Days nears videogame-like music and machismo before its slightly more compelling conclusion is reached. On a brighter note the lightless Alaskan town—although obviously not totally pitch black for the movie’s sake—does look positively bleak especially when the cinematography takes to the skies.
Organized by a powerful pharmaceutical company a scientific expedition is sent into the deep dark jungles of Borneo to search for a rare blood-red orchid which may or may not unlock the secrets of youth and immortality. "Bigger than Viagra!" states one company exec. No kidding. The thing is the flower only blooms every seven years and it would take about 100 orchids to yield just a small amount of juice. Doesn't sound very practical if you're talking about the fountain of youth here. Imagine the demands…but I digress. What the group--which includes an obsessed scientist (Matthew Marsden); his money-hungry business partner (Morris Chestnut); the scientist's beautiful assistant (Kadee Strickland); the company's bitchy representative (Salli Richardson-Whitfield); the tough-as-nails (but very hunky) river boat captain (Johnny Messner); the comic relief (Eugene Byrd); and a couple of others--doesn't know is that these flowers have been pumping up the local fauna namely the anacondas (who are actually only native to the Amazon but hey Borneo works) as they derive their super strength and vitality from the orchids not to mention their appetites. Uh-oh. We've just got to get these crazy kids together.
You know you're in trouble when the only name you recognize on the marquee is Morris Chestnut. Not to say Chestnut best known for supporting roles in films such as Half Past Dead and Two Can Play That Game isn't a capable actor; he's just not really a name. Apparently Anacondas producers wanted to go with unknowns to separate itself from its predecessor. That and the fact most of the original cast bought the farm in the first Anaconda except for Jennifer Lopez who for obvious reasons wouldn't touch this sequel with a ten-foot pole. So. What we are left with are some pretty green actors who do their very best (which isn't saying much) to act horrified and deliver such stellar dialogue as "Everything gets eaten out here. It's a jungle" or "We are young single and in Borneo." Byrd (8 Mile) stands out slightly as the wisecracking techno geek who does some of the better freak-out scenes. But if you really want to know it's the river boat captain's pet organ-grinder monkey who steals the show; you can just feel his tension as he's running away from the slithering predators.
A sequel to a cheesy snake movie that only made money because it had a seriously disturbed cult following? What's next Showgirls 2? Anacondas classic movie monster set up is the only thing its got going for it and director Dwight H. Little (Murder at 1600) utilizes this structure to the best of his abilities showing a lot of snake some swallowing of humans and very little else. And nothing can get better than a giant snake orgy. Oh you heard right. The reason there is a plural on the end of the title (and trust me I'm not giving anything away) is that it's mating season for those frisky anacondas--and all the males have come running to find the delicious female in heat chomping on the flowers and getting huge. This is Borneo after all where apparently snake lovin' is a must. Beyond this bit of salaciousness the plot holes logic and just about anything else in the film are so appalling you actually wish the campy Jon Voight from the original movie would pop up as the mastermind behind the whole operation explaining how he was the one who brought the anacondas from the Amazon to Borneo. Now that would be a twist.