TriStar Pictures via Everett Collection
An hour and change into Pompeii, there's a volcano. You'd think there might have been a volcano throughout — you'd think that the folks inhabiting the ill-fated Italian village would have been dealing with the infamous volcano for the full 110 minutes. After all, volcano movies have worked before. Volcano, for instance. And the other one. But for some reason, Pompeii feels the need to stuff its first three quarters with coliseum battles, Ancient Rome politics, unlikely friendships, and a love story. But we don’t care. We can't care. None of it warrants our care. Where the hell is the volcano, already?
To answer that: it's off to the side — rumbling. Smoking. Occasionally spiking the neighboring community with geological fissures or architectural misgivings. Pretty much executing every trick picked up in Ominous Foreshadowing 101, but never joining the story. Not until Paul W.S. Anderson shouts, "Last call," hitting us with a final 20-odd minutes of unmitigated disaster (in a good way). If you've managed to maintain a waking pulse throughout the lecture in sawdust that is Pompeii's story, then you might actually have a good time with the closing sequence. It has everything you’d expect — everything you had been expecting! — and delivers it with gusto. Torpedoes of smoke running hordes of idiot villagers out of their homes and toward whatever safety the notion of forward has to offer. Long undeveloped characters rising to the occasion to rescue hapless princesses who thought it might be a good idea to set their vacation homes at the foot of a lava-spewing mountain. The whole ordeal is actually a lot of laughs. But it amounts to a dessert just barely worth the tasteless dinner we had to force down to get there.
TriStar Pictures via Everett Collection
To get through the bulk of Pompeii, we recommend focusing all your attentions away from the effectively bland slave/gladiator/hero Kit Harington — sorry, Jon Snow (he's actually called a bastard at one point) — and onto his partner in crime: a scowling Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje — sorry, Mr. Eko (he and Snow actually trade valedictions by saying "I'll see you at another time, brother" at one point) — who warms up to his fellow prize fighter during their shared time in the klink, and delivers his moronic material with a sprinkle of flair. Keeping the working man down is Kiefer Sutherland — sorry, Jack Bauer — as an ostentatious Roman senator, doling out vainglory in Basil Fawlty-sized portions. When he's not spitting scowls at peasants, ol' JB is undermining the efforts of an earnest local governor Jared Harris — sorry, Lane Pryce (he actually calls someone a mad man at one point) — and his wife Carrie-Anne Moss — sorry, Katherine O'Connell from Vegas (joking! Trinity) — and finagling the douchiest marriage proposal ever toward their daughter Emily Browning — sorry, but I have no idea what she's from.
But questionable television references and some enjoyably daft performances by Eko and Jack can't really make up for the heft of mindless dullness that Pompeii passes off as its narrative... until the big showstopper.
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In truth, the last sequence is a gem. It's fun, inviting, and energizing, and might even call into question the possibility that Pompeii is all about how futile life, love, friendship, politics, and pride are when even the most egregiously complicated of plots can be taken out in the end by a sudden volcanic eruption. But you have to wade through that egregious complication to get there, and you shouldn't expect to have too much of a good time doing so.
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Actress Chrishell Stause has confirmed she is dating Justin Hartley after they sparked rumours they were a couple while walking a red carpet together at a Hollywood event on Thursday (09Jan14). The former Smallville star and Stause posed for pictures together at the 2014 Unbridled Eve Derby Prelude Party held at The London in California, according to Eonline.com.
Hartley was previously married to actress Lindsay Korman from 2004 to 2012. The couple has one daughter.
Stause and Hartley first met on the set of U.S. soap opera All My Children.
We all have guilty pleasures. For some of us, it’s HGTV’s do-it-yourself home improvement shows. For others, it’s marathoning sitcoms like Arrested Development or Modern Family on online sites like Netflix from the comfort of our beds. And still for others, it’s the romantic entanglements found in old soap operas that keep us replaying them time after time. Well, earlier this year, Prospect Park’s The Online Network revealed that they would be rebooting two of our most loved soaps: All My Children and One Life to Live. And Wednesday, the network announced all of the cast members participating in both shows.
For All My Children, the following stars have been announced as members of the cast: Sal Stowers as Cassandra Foster, Eric Nelson as AJ Chandler, Denyse Tontz as Miranda Montgomery, Jordan Lane Price as Celia Fitzgerald, Ryan Bittle as JR Chandler, Eden Riegel as Bianca Montgomery, Cady McClain as Dixie Cooney, Ray MacDonnell as Dr. Joe Martin, David Canary as Adam Chandler, Heather Roop as Jane McIntyre, and Francesca James as Evelyn Johnson. Previously announced members include Darnell Williams as Jesse Hubbard, Debbi Morgan as Dr. Angela Hubbard, Vincent Irizarry as Dr. David Hayward, Lindsay Hartley as Cara Martin, Jordi Vilasuso as Griffin Castillo, Jill Larson as Opal Cortlandt, and Thorsten Kaye as Zach Slater.
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And this is who you can expect to see on One Life to Live: Robert Gorrie as Matthew Buchanan and Laura Harrier as Destiny Evans. These stars join the previously announced members (Erika Slezak as Victoria Lord Buchanan, Robin Strasser as Dorian Lord, Tuc Watkins as David Vickers, Robert S. Woods as Bo Buchanan, Kassie DePaiva as Blair Cramer, Jerry verDorn as Clint Buchanan, Florencia Lozano as Tea Delgado, Melissa Archer as Natalie Buchanan Banks, Hillary B. Smith as Nora Buchanan, Kelley Missal as Danielle Manning, Josh Kelly as Cutter Wentworth, and Andrew Trischitta as Jack Manning). Recurring actors include: Sean Ringgold as Shaun Evans, Shenaz Treasury as Rama Patel, and Nick Choksi as Vimal Patel.
New 30-minute episodes of both series will be launching each day of the week on Hulu.com, where content generally can be viewed for free. The episodes will also be available on iTunes.
Follow Lindsey on Twitter @LDiMat.
[Photo Credit: ABC]
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All My Children came to an end in 2011 after 41 years on air, while One Life To Live shuts down this month (Jan13).
TV bosses previously insisted they would not bow to fan pressure to revive the two shows in a new Internet format, but producers at independent production company Prospect Park have now been given the green light to push ahead with the plans.
The two soaps will both be relaunched on America's The Online Network (TOLN) and production is due to begin next month (Feb13).
A statement from the production company reads, "We are pleased to confirm that Prospect Park is reviving the beloved soap operas, All My Children and One Life To Live as the anchor programs on The Online Network (TOLN)... (We plan) to begin production in February on both All My Children and One Life To Live.
"We thank the loyal audience and new generation of fans of both shows who have demonstrated that passion and exciting story lines are not just reserved for traditional television. Their enduring support encouraged us to move forward each and every day. We look forward to sharing more details including our launch air date and additional specifics in the coming weeks."
It is not yet known which castmembers could be returning to the shows, but Tvline.com reports All My Children stars Lindsay Hartley, Vincent Irizarry and Debbi Morgan have all inked deals to reprise their roles.
The couple met in 2003 while starring on U.S. TV soap opera Passions and married a year later (04), but now the stars have decided to end their union.
In official documents filed in Los Angeles County Superior Court and obtained by TMZ.com, Lindsay cites "irreconcilable differences" for the split.
She is seeking joint physical and legal custody of their seven-year-old daughter, Isabella Justice.