It’s George’s birthday tonight on Suburgatory, but not everyone is having a happy celebration. That’s right, trouble’s coming to our favorite Chatswin residents, in both their relationships with their significant others and their families.
Father of the year Jeremy Sisto chatted with Hollywood.com (while his adorable daughter was chiming in in the background) about the dark times ahead for George, Dallas (Cheryl Hines), Tessa (Jane Levy), Dalia (Carly Chaikin), and Noah (Alan Tudyk)… as well as an amazing, can’t-miss musical moment coming at the end of tonight’s episode. Seriously, you really don’t want to miss this.
“It’s my birthday, and Dallas gets me this present that I think is just completely wrong," Sisto tells Hollywood.com. "It’s hideous, but it’s fine because the thing that George finds endearing is how she tries and fails. But she gets hurt when he gets really moved by Tessa’s gift — she framed something from back in the time when I was still with Tessa’s mom. Dallas has insecurities that I’ll never feel as strongly [about her] as I felt about Tessa’s mom. George probably feels that way too some degree, so she’s hurt.”
And that’s how this memorable musical moment comes into play. “I try to cheer her up," Sisto says. "Earlier in the episode, I asked if there was any song I could play her, and she says R. Kelly’s 'Bump and Grind'... I learn the song and I perform it for her at this deli, so I’m looking forward to seeing that myself.”
But that might be the only happy moment we see for awhile, as drama is about to unfold for everyone. "[Tessa and George] end [the season] very poorly," Sisto says. "I plan to move in with Dallas and Dalia, [and] there is this rivalry between [Tessa] and Dalia. They get into a crazy physical fight.”
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We’ve seen Dalia and Tessa throw verbal punches in the past, but what could possibly bring them to physical blows? “Dalia does something that in turn breaks Tessa and Ryan up, so Tessa’s got a real bone to pick with her,” Sisto says. “They eventually get into a huge fight, and that’s when I tell her, 'Oh, by the way, you’re going to be living together...' She refuses to do it. She goes into the city to find her mom, and her mom has actually moved into the Chatswin area just in case [Tessa] wanted to develop a relationship.”
While we’re excited to see the return of Malin Ackerman as Tessa’s absent mother, could we really be seeing the end of Tessa and Ryan? Say it ain’t so! “[The breakup] was going to happen anyway, since he’s going away to college and they weren’t going to do long distance,” Sisto says. “I think Tessa is coming to terms with the fact that this isn’t the guy that she’s going to be with forever. She has to let him go, but she doesn’t want to do it yet. And that’s when Dalia just rushes things along.”
Dalia is also facing some dark times ahead, especially when we find out her deep, dark secret. “Dalia’s a hoarder!” Sisto says. “We’ve seen her as vapid and vacant of human emotion, [but] what we see this season more and more is how deep that goes.”
But the person having the most issues is Noah. “Everyone’s a mess, but he’s a real mess," Sisto says. "He left his wife for his nanny, but she doesn’t want to be with him, and now he’s got to be this single dad and he has no idea how to do it.”
And Noah will not be catching any breaks anytime soon. “His daughter comes back, and you come to understand that they’ve never been alone in a room together," Sisto says. "There is just no relationship between [them], and we peek into that. We will watch him unravel." Poor guy!
Watch Suburgatory on Wednesdays at 9:30 PM ET/PT on ABC.
Follow Sydney on Twitter: @SydneyBucksbaum
[Photo Credit: ABC/Adam Taylor]
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Set in Manhattan on the last day of the year New Year’s Eve crams together a dozen or so canned scenarios into one bloated barely coherent mass of cliches. As before Marshall’s recruited an impressive ensemble of minions to do his unholy bidding including Oscar winners Hilary Swank Halle Berry and Robert De Niro the latter luxuriating in a role that didn’t require him to get out of bed. High School Musical’s Zac Efron is paired up with ‘80s icon Michelle Pfeiffer – giving teenage girls and their fathers something to bond over – while Glee’s Lea Michele meets cute with a pajama-clad Ashton Kutcher. There’s Katherine Heigl in a familiar jilted-fiance role Sarah Jessica Parker as a fretful single mom and Chris “Ludacris” Bridges as the most laid-back cop in New York. Sofia Vergara and Hector Elizondo mine for cheap laughs with thick accents – his fake and hers real – and Jessica Biel and Josh Duhamel deftly mix beauty with blandness. Fans of awful music will delight in the sounds of Jon Bon Jovi straining against type to play a relevant pop musician.
The task of interweaving the various storylines is too great for Marshall and New Year’s Eve bears the distinct scent and stain of an editing-room bloodbath with plot holes so gaping that not even the brightest of celebrity smiles can obscure them. But that’s not the point – it never was. You should know better than to expect logic from a film that portrays 24-year-old Efron and 46-year-old Parker as brother-and-sister without bothering to explain how such an apparent scientific miracle might have come to pass. Marshall wagers that by the time the ball drops and the film’s last melodramatic sequence has ended prior transgressions will be absolved and moviegoers will be content to bask in New Year's Eve's artificial glow. The gambit worked for Valentine's Day; this time he may not be so fortunate.