Troubled by unfortunate event after unfortunate event The Watch sidesteps faux pas to come out on top as a consistently funny sci-fi comedy that doesn't let its high concept tangle up a bevy of one-liners. The script penned by Jared Stern Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg assumes you've seen a few movies before entering the theater (mainly any sci-fi movie made in the 1980s). "Summer movie logic" is the foundation for The Watch's ridiculous plot which finds four adult nincompoops teaming up to form a Neighborhood Watch trying to solve the murder of a local Costco employee and eventually pursuing a killer extraterrestrial. Instead of making sense of it all The Watch wisely focuses on its four leads: Ben Stiller Vince Vaughn Jonah Hill and The IT Crowd's Richard Ayoade — a quartet whose bro banter goes a long way in spicing up the dust-covered material. There's nothing revelatory to be found in The Watch but the cast's knack for improv a poetry of the profane makes the adventure worth…viewing.
Director Akiva Schaffer (Hot Rod) establishes his two-dimensional characters quickly and bluntly smashing together broad personality types like a Hadron Collider of cinematic comedy. Stiller's Evan is a micromanaging do-gooder who can't find time for his wife; Hill's Franklin is a mildly disturbed weapons enthusiast yearning to join the police; Ayoade is the quaint weirdo who joins the Watch to fill the void left by his divorce; Vince Vaughn is Vince Vaughn: a loud crass gent looking for a bit of male bonding. The ragtag team assembles to fight crime but they spend most of their time drinking beers in a minivan — an affair they dub "stakeouts." A perfect opportunity for banter.
For a movie about enforcing the law and alien invasions there's a surprising lack of action in The Watch. Long stretches of the film see the central players yapping back and forth about everything: Russian nesting dolls peeing in cans or the similar viscosities of alien goo and human excrement. Charisma goes a long way and Vaughn does much of the heavy lifting making up for lost time out of the spotlight (he's been virtually nonexistent since 2005's Wedding Crashers). The man spits out jokes like no other — the rest of the cast barely keeps up. Ayoade balances out Vaughn's bombardment with a tempered timed delivery that's uniquely British and rarely found on the American big screen. Even when nothing's happening in The Watch it's rarely boring.
The Watch is at its best when it goes a step further mixing the group in with outsiders and throwing them off their rhythm. Billy Crudup cuts loose as a creepy neighbor and its delightfully weird while the always-impressive Rosemarie DeWitt as Evan's wife Abby brings unexpected warmth to the couple's relationship. Sadly The Watch mishandles its greatest asset: the aliens. The film never finds a pitch perfect blend of comedy and science fiction (Ghostbusters or Galaxy Quest this is not); a few scenes where the two come together hint at the best possible scenario but more often than not The Watch avoids its sci-fi roots. A moment in which the guys haul a dead alien back to their man cave plays like an E.T.-inspired version of The Hangover credits. It's lewd and ridiculous but the rest of the film struggles to maintain that energy.
Stiller Vaughn Hill and Ayoade have all proved themselves able funnymen capable of taking weak and tired material up a notch which they're forced to do in every moment of The Watch. Schaffer can handle his talent but his direction isn't adding anything to the mix. By the third slow-motion-set-to-gangster-rap scene The Lonely Island member's obsession with non-cool-coolness is officially just an attempt at being cool (which is not all that funny). The Watch has a greater opportunity than most comedy blockbusters to go absolutely bonkers: it's rated R. But instead of taking its twist and running with it the movie plays it safe. In this case safe is non-stop jokes about the many facets of human reproduction.
Call them the Aww's-bournes.
A new photo on Kelly Osbourne's Twitter page shows the Fashion Police star snuggling up to her young brother Jack Osbourne, who recently revealed he has been diagnosed with the incurable disease, multiple sclerosis. "Best family night ever!" she Tweeted next to a photo of her and her brother, who is seen holding his almost two-month-old daughter, Pearl. "Nothing like a hug from my little brother @mrjacko!"
Since learning of Jack's condition only five weeks ago, the Osbournes have rallied around their family's only son. When the new dad made an appearance on his mom Sharon Osbourne's TV show, The Talk to discuss his condition, sister Kelly once again took to her Twitter page, this time to tell him "Im so proud of you." Aww.
Jack Osbourne Diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis
Jack Osbourne fired from TV show after MS diagnosis
Jack Osbourne focusing on wedding instead of health diagnosis
It is reported that Jack Osbourne has been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. The sad news comes on the heels of the birth of Osbourne's first child--a daughter named Pearl Clementine--as he was diagnosed just two weeks after his daughter was born. "I was just angry and frustrated and kept thinking, 'Why now?' " Jack told People Magazine. "I've got a family and that's what's supposed to be the most important thing." Osbourne is engaged to the mother of his child, Lisa Stelly.
Multiple sclerosis is an incurable disease that affects the central nervous system, causing problems with muscle control, strength, vision, balance, feeling, and thinking to varying degrees. Disease onset/diagnosis typically occurs in young adults (Osbourne is 26) and is different from person to person: cases can range from minimal symptoms to severely disabled. Needless to say, our thoughts are with Osbourne and his family during this time.
[Image Credit: WENN]
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'Nervous' Dad Jack Osbourne Welcomes Baby Pearl!
Osbourne recovering from appendix surgery
Sharon Osbourne cried at granddaughter's birth
The singer and reality TV star spent Monday (28May12) clearing out her closet and bagging up items she no longer needs - and all the unwanted clothes will help a good cause.
In a series of posts on her Twitter.com page, she writes, "I have spent the past 3 days going through every draw/cupboard/closet I have so much to donate to charity its unreal! Feeling productive.
"It also made me realise that people give me so much s**t! When you have too much you will never find what you are looking for! Time 2 (sic) donate."
Osbourne revealed her unworn clothes will be donated to the homeless, while items she has worn will be auctioned to benefit her mother Sharon's cancer charity.
Jack's sister Kelly Osbourne broke the baby news via Twitter.com on Tuesday (24Apr12), stating, "I am one proud Auntie!"
Reports suggest the happy couple plans to call the baby girl Pearl.
The arrival comes a day after Jack's nervous mum Sharon appeared on TV in America and revealed the baby was late - just like her.
She told chat show host Ellen DeGeneres, "It could be (born) any second... I've got the kettle on. I've got towels. I've got everything ready."
Legal powerhouse Singer represented the actor in his multi-million dollar court battle with Warner Bros. bosses over his firing from hit sitcom Two and a Half Men last year (11), and Sheen returned the favour by appearing at the Beverly Hills Bar Association bash in California on Wednesday (18Apr12).
Sheen was a surprise speaker at the event, which crowned Singer entertainment lawyer of the year, and he roasted his pal with a series of explicit gags.
He told the audience, "Marty might be the only person who has f**ked more people than I have... A lot as been said about my past. But trust me, I never s**ewed a hooker as hard as Marty s**ewed Warner Bros. I've got 100 million reasons to say thank you."
Funnyman Tom Arnold hosted the event and poked fun at his own legal troubles with ex-wife Roseanne Barr, joking to the crowd, "My wife was a walking lawsuit. There were a lot of billable hours in that crazy b**ch."
Hollywood actress Sharon Stone was also among the speakers and she joked about her famous crotch-flashing scene in 1992 movie Basic Instinct: "You call Marty because you need someone like Mike Tyson in the Holyfield fight, when he bit his ear off. Marty is such a bad ass motherf**ker... If I had known him back when I was making Basic Instinct, I could have gotten Marty Singer to take that scene out of the movie."
A number of Singer's other famous clients were in the audience, including John Travolta and his wife Kelly Preston, Priscilla Presley, and Arnold Schwarzenegger, who took part in a video tribute to the attorney along with fellow Hollywood tough guys Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone.
Ozzy Osbourne's son and his partner Lisa Stelly are set to become first-time parents later this year (12), and to mark the occasion Stelly invited her future in-laws, as well as her own mum and sisters, to a special party.
Adding hair extensions especially for the occasion and showing off her bump in a tight white dress, Stelly posted a series of photos on her Twitter.com page to reveal all about the celebrations.
In one image she poses with Jack, alongside the words, "Me and my sugar pie honey bun at the shower," while in another she cuddles up to Sharon and Kelly, writing, "Baby shower fun! Me, all my sisters, mom, and future mother & sister-in-law."
Ozzy Osbourne's daughter is now sporting a cast and has turned to her mother Sharon to help her with everyday activities.
In a series of posts on her Twitter.com page on Sunday evening (18Dec11), she writes, "I must be the most accident prone/stupid person in the world I fell out my bed while sleeping last night & fractured my hand in 3 places! I'm staying in a hotel and the bed is so tall I must have dropped about 4 1/2 feet!
"It's my left hand & I'm left handed so my mum has to brush my hair & cut my food 4 me I feel like a baby again. Of course my mum is loving it! The worst part is I permanently look like I'm giving everyone the thumbs up because of the way it's casted! I look like such a t**t!"
The star had been partying with friends at a Miami, Florida nightclub when she was rushed to the hospital after hitting her skull in a mystery incident.
Opening up about her daughter's injuries during her U.S. show The Talk on Monday (07Nov11), Sharon Osbourne reveals she flew to the medical centre to be by Kelly's side as she recuperated from a severe concussion and minor surgery.
She explained, "They all went to a club to see this DJ. And so anyway, she was dancing with somebody that said, 'Teach me how to ballroom dance.' So she did, and the guy takes her down to a dip and as he dips her down, she hits her head on the amplifier. So it split her head open.
"Anyway they cleaned it up. She thought she was fine, she went back to her hotel room and fainted twice. And then they called the ambulance and she fainted in the ambulance.
"She went to the Mercy Hospital. And she had stitches in her head and she has a severe concussion so she was awake for two days. She's fine, she's just got a very sore head. I flew her back home. And she's in my bed with her doggie. I stayed in the hospital with her for two nights. But thank god she's fine and we're all happy."