It was the trickle of pee heard around the world. Cannes attendees were aghast and/or amused an infamous scene from The Paperboy that shows Nicole Kidman urinating on Zac Efron; this is apparently a great salve for jellyfish burns which were covering our Ken Doll-like protagonist. (In fact the term protagonist should be used very loosely for Efron's character Jack who is mostly acted upon than active throughout.)
Lurid! Sexy! Perverse! Trashy! Whether or not it's actually effective is overshadowed by all the hubbub that's attached itself to the movie for better or worse. In fact the movie is all of these things — but that's actually not a compliment. What could have become somethingmemorable is jaw-droppingly bad (when it's not hilarious). Director Lee Daniels uses a few different visual styles throughout from a stark black and white palette for a crime scene recreation at the beginning to a '70s porno aesthetic that oscillates between psychedelic and straight-up sweaty with an emphasis on Efron's tighty-whiteys. This only enhances the sloppiness of the script which uses lines like narrator/housekeeper/nanny Anita's (Macy Gray) "You ain't tired enough to be retired " to conjure up the down-home wisdom of the South. Despite Gray's musical talents she is not a good choice for a narrator or an actor for that matter. In a way — insofar as they're perhaps the only female characters given a chunk of screen time — her foil is Charlotte Bless Nicole Kidman's character. Anita is the mother figure who wears as we see in an early scene control-top pantyhose whereas Charlotte is all clam diggers and Barbie doll make-up. Or as Anita puts it "an oversexed Barbie doll."
The slapdash plot is that Jack's older brother Ward (Matthew McConaughey) comes back to town with his colleague Yardley (David Oyelowo) to investigate the case of a death row criminal named Hillary Van Wetter. Yardley is black and British which seems to confuse many of the people he meets in this backwoods town. Hillary (John Cusack) hidden under a mop of greasy black hair) is a slack-jawed yokel who could care less if he's going to be killed for a crime he might or might not have committed. He is way more interested in his bride-to-be Charlotte who has fallen in love with him through letters — this is her thing apparently writing letters and falling in love with inmates — and has rushed to help Ward and Yardley free her man. In the meantime we're subjected to at least one simulated sex scene that will haunt your dreams forever. Besides Hillary's shortcomings as a character that could rustle up any sort of empathy the case itself is so boring it begs the question why a respected journalist would be interested enough to pursue it.
The rest of the movie is filled with longing an attempt to place any the story in some sort of social context via class and race even more Zac Efron's underwear sexual violence alligator innards swamp people in comically ramshackle homes and a glimpse of one glistening McConaughey 'tock. Harmony Korine called and he wants his Gummo back.
It's probably tantalizing for this cast to take on "serious" "edgy" work by an Oscar-nominated director. Cusack ditched his boombox blasting "In Your Eyes" long ago and Efron's been trying to shed his squeaky clean image for so long that he finally dropped a condom on the red carpet for The Lorax so we'd know he's not smooth like a Ken doll despite how he was filmed by Daniels. On the other hand Nicole Kidman has been making interesting and varied career choices for years so it's confounding why she'd be interested in a one-dimensional character like Charlotte. McConaughey's on a roll and like the rest of the cast he's got plenty of interesting projects worth watching so this probably won't slow him down. Even Daniels is already shooting a new film The Butler as we can see from Oprah's dazzling Instagram feed. It's as if they all want to put The Paperboy behind them as soon as possible. It's hard to blame them.
Top Story: Bob Hope Eulogized at Memorial Mass
Politicians and celebrities gathered at St. Charles Borromeo Catholic Church in North Hollywood near Bob Hope's Toluca Lake home yesterday to thank the late comic for his humor and decades of service to U.S. military personnel abroad. Hope died July 27 at age 100. Roman Catholic Cardinal Roger M. Mahoney presided over the Mass, which was attended by Hope's widow, Dolores; former President Ford and his wife, Betty; former first lady Nancy Reagan, Mickey Rooney, Hal Holbrook, Raquel Welch, Marie Osmond, Phyllis Diller, Ed McMahon, Norm Crosby, retired Gen. William Westmoreland, former California Gov. Pete Wilson, and businessman Lee Iacocca, The Associated Press reports. The service began with an honor guard upholding the flags of the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines and Coast Guard, representing the service men and women Hope entertained during his USO tours. The service ended with a Marine bugler playing "Taps" and a choir softly humming "Thanks for the Memory," Hope's theme song.
CIA Recruits Alias Star for Promotional Video
Alias star Jennifer Garner said she has been asked to contribute to an official CIA video promoting the government agency to be shown to university graduate students and prospective agents. "We feel that Miss Garner, both in character as agent Sydney Bristow and as herself, embodies the intelligence, enthusiasm and dedication that we're looking for," Chase Brandon, a film industry liaison for the CIA, told Reuters. "Her participation would add a human touch to the message we're trying to convey."
More Jail Time For Bobby Brown
Singer Bobby Brown, who was arrested at a suburban Atlanta restaurant while Friday while dining with wife Whitney Houston, was ordered to serve nine additional days in jail on for violating his probation from a drunken driving conviction, Reuters reports. DeKalb County Court Judge Wayne Purdom ordered Brown to serve 14 days of jail time, with credit for five days already served, and warned the singer of harsher consequences if he failed to fulfill terms of the probation. Brown, wearing the familiar orange jail uniform, apologized to the judge.
Radio Station Reprimanded for Mocking Holocaust
A Vancouver radio station was reprimanded Wednesday for running an episode of the syndicated advice show Loveline that mocked the Holocaust. It featured a call from a telephone sex operator who wanted advice on how to make her clients stay on the phone longer. Host Adam Carolla suggested she use words like "Holocaust," "Vietnam" and "cancer" to dampen her clients' zeal. The Canadian Broadcast Standards Council said that while it understood the "intended humor" in the piece, Corolla exceeded any reasonable level of propriety when he responded with, "Yeah, yeah, burn those Jews. Gas 'em in the shower, baby. Yeah, yeah ... send 'em on the train to Krakow."
John Singleton Gets Walk of Fame Star
Director John Singleton, whose credits include Poetic Justice, Shaft and 2 Fast 2 Furious, received a star Tuesday on the Hollywood Walk of Fame to celebrate the 12th anniversary of the gangland drama Boyz N the Hood. Singleton penned the script for the film, which helped launch the acting careers of Cuba Gooding Jr., Ice Cube and Morris Chestnut, when he was a film student at the University of Southern California. "I am tripping out," Singleton said. "In 1977, when I was 9 years old, I had a date with my dad to go the Chinese Theatre to see Star Wars. This is where I learned to appreciate cinema. I want to thank my dad for that."
Sony Pushes Back Big Fish Release
Director Tim Burton 's new film Big Fish, which had originally been set for wide release Nov. 26 to take advantage of the Thanksgiving holiday, is being held back by two months to give the marketing campaign more time, according to The Hollywood Reporter. Sony Pictures will platform release the film in New York, Los Angeles and Toronto beginning Dec. 18 to an eventual wide release in 2,500 theaters Jan. 23. Big Fish, about a man coming to terms with his dying father, stars Ewan McGregor, Albert Finney, Billy Crudup and Jessica Lange.
Malibu Film Fest Unspools With Lou
The fourth annual Malibu Film Festival, which honors undiscovered, cutting-edge films, will open Sept. 26 with actor Brett Carr's directorial debut Lou, about a boxer with a speech impediment who can only speak without a stutter when he's fighting or impersonating the fictional Rocky Balboa. According to Variety, this year's festival will present 33 shorts, 10 documentaries and seven features, which were selected from an unprecedented pool of 3,000 international submissions. The festival closes Oct. 2.
Role Call: Sydney Pollack May Go Skate
Oscar-winning director Sydney Pollack is in talks to helm Fox 2000's Shockproof Sydney Skate, based on the 1973 novel by Marijane Meaker. According to Variety, Shockproof is one of the longest gestating projects in Hollywood: It has been in development at Fox for several years, and its producer, Teri Schwartz, has held options to the book dating back to 1977. The film is a coming-of-age story about a young man who just before college falls in love with the same gorgeous model as his lesbian mother. Pollack picked up two Oscars for Out of Africa in 1985, one as pr