Hemlock Grove hits Netflix April 19 and there's very little known about the brand new horror series, aside from the fact that the NSFW trailer scared (and grossed) the hell out of everyone in the Hollywood.com offices. Producer Eli Roth really does have a way with blood... and guts... and maggots... and bones protruding from skin. You get the idea.
But we generally know what the series is about (werewolves), who it's from (Roth), why it's a big deal (Netflix's original programming slate), but who are all of these sexy (but also kind of terrifying) people bringing the book-to-series adaptation to life?
Stars As: Olivia Godfrey, matriarch of the wealthy Godfrey family.Notable Qualities: Cold, disarming stare; Apparent insatiable lust, which probably makes her a bit of a MILF.I Know That Face...: Yes, you definitely do. She's the mutant who stole Wolverine's heart in the X-Men movies: Jean Grey.Crush Potential: She's a hot mom with a dark side. Do the math.
Stars As: Roman Godfrey, son of Olivia and Dr. Norman Godfrey.Notable Qualities: Good at smoldering; often found fighting with his lusty mother; not averse to teaming up with presumed werewolf gypsies to solve murders.I Know That Name... Right?: Sort of. Bill is brother to True Blood's Alexander Skarsgård and son to Stellan Skarsgård. He's also got four names (Bill Istvan Günther Skarsgård) and was in 2012's Anna Karenina with Kiera Knightley.Crush Potential: He's practically got a pedigree as the younger brother of Alexander, plus he's pretty damn handsome. Yeah, you'll be crushing.
Stars As: Peter Rumancek, a gypsy and quite possibly a werewolf.Notable Qualities: He's 17, considered "trailer trash" and a gypsy, and he teams up with the town's richest guy his age to solve a murder? You can bet his life is going to get all kinds of rough. It also means he's totally going to have sexual tension (and – we're guessing – then some) with Roman's sister.I Have No Idea Who This Guy Is: He's Canadian, so you guessed it! He was on Degrassi as Declan. American audiences may know him a little better at the son of Jason O'Mara's hero on the short-lived Fox Sci-Fi series Terra Nova. Crush Potential: Tortured werewolf? Duh.
Stars As: Letha Godfrey, another of the wealthy Godfrey brood.Notable Qualities: Pretty, blonde, likely to attract scruffy gypsy boys like Peter.I Have No Idea Who This Girl Is: The lovely Australian lady hasn't done much stateside, so this is a bit of a break for her. However, (fun fact) her cousin Radha Mitchell has had some success in the U.S. and is presently starring in ABC's Red Widow. Crush Potential: Look at that gorgeous face. Yes, dudes, there's crush potential.
Stars As: Dr. Norman Godfrey, husband of Olivia and father to Roman and Letha.Notable Qualities: Ruggedly handsome; he yells a lot in the trailer, so we're assuming as the patriarch of a wealthy family, he's seeking order in a world that's about to go completely nuts; owner of a biotech facility that could have something to do with the murder Roman and Peter are trying to solve.I Know His Face...: Do you like Drew Barrymore movies? Even the ones where she messes with history and fairy tales and murders a British accent while playing a French girl? Then you probably recognize this rascal from Ever After, Barrymore's strange twist on the classic Cinderella tale.Crush Potential: He seems a little sinister so far, but hey, whatever floats your boat.
Stars As: Lynda Rumancek, gypsy mom extraordinaire to Peter (could this casting be any better?).Notable Qualities: She's a gypsy and her son is telling people he's a werewolf. Prepare for sass. I Know Her Face...: You'd netter know her face, she was in such classic films as Mystic Pizza and Say Anything... plus she was a regular on Six Feet Under (if you didn't watch it, scurry over to Netflix right now, slacker). She also introduced the founding members of the band Veruca Salt to one another, so, you're welcome.Crush Potential: She's a pretty lady, but my guess is that's not what she's here for.
Stars As: Shelley Godfrey, youngest daughter of the wealthy, aloof Godfreys.Notable Qualities: She's apparently incredibly creepy, which is appropriate because you can bet the name "Shelley" (with an E) is an homage to Frankenstein author Mary Shelley. I Have No Idea Who This Girl Is: You wouldn't. This is her first acting gig.
Stars As: Peter's former friend Christina Wendall.Notable Qualities: She's a teenage girl who's mad at her best friend, who's a hot 17-year-old guy; the sparks will most certainly fly.I Have No Idea Who This Girl Is: This is her first project of note, through from the looks of the trailer, it may the start of many more.Crush Potential: She's pretty, she's young, why not?
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Based on a graphic novel the violent tale revolves around Wes (James McAvoy) a meek 25 year-old office worker who hates his life. His boss berates him and he can’t even summon the balls to tell his slutty girlfriend to stop sleeping with his best buddy. But his world is suddenly rocked when Fox (Angelina Jolie)--a mysterious tattooed woman with a gun and a red sports car--takes him on the ride of his life. She takes him straight to The Fraternity a centuries old legendary group of hired assassins who live--and die--by their code: Kill one to save a thousand. Seems Wes’ long-lost father was a member who has just been whacked and he is now summoned to join up and unleash the inner killer in his genes. After a rigorous training regimen in which he is almost beaten to a pulp he emerges as the organization’s new golden boy and finds self-esteem in his new exciting alternative lifestyle. However the group’s enigmatic leader Sloan (Morgan Freeman) may have other plans in store for Wes that he isn’t quite sharing at the moment. McAvoy simply rocks as the most unexpected action star of the summer and that includes a season so far that has given us the quirky offbeat castings of Robert Downey Jr. and Edward Norton in Marvel comic book franchises. McAvoy (Atonement) has buffed up for the part but still looks like the average Joe exactly why the audience has a rooting interest as he becomes a fish-out-of-water in a group of hit men (and women). You’re with him all the way. This unusual choice is exactly what sets the film apart and makes it a complete original in an over-worn genre. Jolie on the other hand is absolutely who you would expect to play the heavily tatted Fox. Guns blazing feet slamming the pedal gorgeous and talented at taking guys out (of life) Jolie’s a card-carrying member of a club previously thought only open to men. She exudes cool and has never looked hotter. Freeman is at his best. He commands the screen adding his usual stoic presence to the proceedings with a nice twist that lets him show a creepier side than we usually get. Other members of the “club” are competently played by ever-reliable Terence Stamp German-born bad guy Thomas Kretschmann and rapper Common who shows he can keep up with the big boys--acting and other-wise. Hiring the Russian director Timur Bekmambetov for a summer action flick like this might have seemed an odd choice but anyone who’s seen his Hollywood-style homebaked hits Night Watch and Day Watch would know this is a visual stylist with no current equal in the action genre. His English-language debut is vibrant and pulsating alive in every way and thankfully more comprehensible story-wise than his previous work if no less fantastic. You still have to completely suspend belief for complete enjoyment but it’s all worth it. Bekmambetov seems incapable of staging anything in an ordinary way taking routine set-ups and turning them into violent bruising works-of-art. There’s not a single uninteresting shot in the entire movie which moves like the speeding train we see in one of the film’s most imposing sequences. Scene for scene this may be the most visually inventive trail blazing film of its kind in light years. Bring on the sequel.
Based on an autobiographical novel by British author Nick Hornby about his obsession with football (soccer to us American folk) Fever Pitch gets a stateside makeover. Of course the term "sports fanatic" takes on a whole new meaning when you're talking about an avid Red Sox follower. I mean it takes a special kind of person to unconditionally love a baseball team that until last year was considered cursed because it hadn't won a World Series since 1918. This is what business consultant Lindsay Meeks (Drew Barrymore) learns when she meets and falls for Ben Wrightman (Jimmy Fallon) a charming happy-go-lucky high school math teacher who also happens to be a Red Sox nut. Since they fall in love during the winter Lindsay is already hooked once summertime rolls around and she witnesses how truly deep Ben's obsession goes. That's OK she can handle it. She's an ambitious workaholic bucking for a promotion and can relate. But really she can't. Ben's level of commitment to the team goes way beyond what she expected and Lindsay realizes she needs more from him than he seems willing to give. Can Ben give up his beloved Bosox--even as they enter into one of the most incredible seasons in baseball history--just so he can be with his beloved? Ah the course of true love never runs smooth.
It took her awhile to find her true calling but Drew Barrymore has finally cornered the market on sweet and appealing romantic comedies. The Wedding Singer Never Been Kissed 50 First Dates all hit home runs. It's because Barrymore plays it smart and finds the right leading guys to connect with and she's got her own obsession with Saturday Night Live alums. First Adam Sandler and now Fallon. For all his juvenile behavior on SNL Fallon actually pulls off Pitch's very adult romantic duties with aplomb even if he still maintains his ever-present boyish quality. The best thing about these two is that they make Lindsay and Ben's love affair and its progression genuine. From the first date during which Lindsay comes down with the stomach flu and Ben gently takes care of her to their bittersweet split after he blames her for missing the best game the Red Sox ever played against rivals the New York Yankees their relationship never rings untrue. It'd be nice to see them paired up again. Maybe they could have a love triangle with Sandler. Yeah that's the ticket!
They can do it. Peter and Bobby Farrelly can actually make a movie that doesn't include one fart joke. Wow. So what do you think it is about Fever Pitch a cute love story that curves dangerously away from their usual broad and outlandish efforts that appeals to the brothers Farrelly? Could it be that they are enormous Red Sox fans? Aha! Apparently the guys had to chase this one pretty hard before the powers that be decided to let these two pranksters handle the job. But they had help. Scripted by another well-known comedy duo City Slickers' Lowell Ganz and Babaloo Mandel Fever Pitch starts off slow but builds momentum. It keeps to the classic boy-meets-girl boy-loses-girl and boy-gets-girl-back scenario but adds in the whole baseball extremist element. To be honest it's pretty darn fascinating to learn about the Red Sox's romantic heart-wrenching superstitious history. But the most amazing thing about the making of Fever Pitch is that it actually had to be done on the fly--well at least the ending. As it turns out during the filming the Boston Red Sox actually went on to win that elusive World Series championship. No one thought it was going to happen. No one planned for it. But it sure makes for a fairy-tale ending doesn't it?