After almost five years of murder, mayhem, and, oh-so-much meth, it's insane to remember that Breaking Bad's first episode was actually funny. Bryan Cranston as a bumbly father caught in a pair of tighty-whities, Aaron Paul as a wise-cracking burnout — the premiere had the makings of a great buddy dramedy before Breaking Bad transformed into one of the greatest, most horrifying series of all time.
RELATED: Dean Norris Talks 'Breaking Bad' Finale
So it's no surprise that a clever YouTube user found a way to turn the dark AMC hit into a light-hearted family series in a new mash-up. Using Foreigner's "White Lie" as a backdrop, the video (embedded below) uses rooftop pizza, Badger, and redecorating mishaps as inspiration for the opening credits of a 1995 series. (Though, if we're being honest, Breaking Bad in 1995 would swap Paul for Sasha Mitchell, right?) The only thing it's missing is a box of Hidden Treasures for Walt Jr.'s breakfast.
RELATED: 'Breaking Bad' Season Finale Recap
[Image Credit: YouTube]
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Troubled by unfortunate event after unfortunate event The Watch sidesteps faux pas to come out on top as a consistently funny sci-fi comedy that doesn't let its high concept tangle up a bevy of one-liners. The script penned by Jared Stern Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg assumes you've seen a few movies before entering the theater (mainly any sci-fi movie made in the 1980s). "Summer movie logic" is the foundation for The Watch's ridiculous plot which finds four adult nincompoops teaming up to form a Neighborhood Watch trying to solve the murder of a local Costco employee and eventually pursuing a killer extraterrestrial. Instead of making sense of it all The Watch wisely focuses on its four leads: Ben Stiller Vince Vaughn Jonah Hill and The IT Crowd's Richard Ayoade — a quartet whose bro banter goes a long way in spicing up the dust-covered material. There's nothing revelatory to be found in The Watch but the cast's knack for improv a poetry of the profane makes the adventure worth…viewing.
Director Akiva Schaffer (Hot Rod) establishes his two-dimensional characters quickly and bluntly smashing together broad personality types like a Hadron Collider of cinematic comedy. Stiller's Evan is a micromanaging do-gooder who can't find time for his wife; Hill's Franklin is a mildly disturbed weapons enthusiast yearning to join the police; Ayoade is the quaint weirdo who joins the Watch to fill the void left by his divorce; Vince Vaughn is Vince Vaughn: a loud crass gent looking for a bit of male bonding. The ragtag team assembles to fight crime but they spend most of their time drinking beers in a minivan — an affair they dub "stakeouts." A perfect opportunity for banter.
For a movie about enforcing the law and alien invasions there's a surprising lack of action in The Watch. Long stretches of the film see the central players yapping back and forth about everything: Russian nesting dolls peeing in cans or the similar viscosities of alien goo and human excrement. Charisma goes a long way and Vaughn does much of the heavy lifting making up for lost time out of the spotlight (he's been virtually nonexistent since 2005's Wedding Crashers). The man spits out jokes like no other — the rest of the cast barely keeps up. Ayoade balances out Vaughn's bombardment with a tempered timed delivery that's uniquely British and rarely found on the American big screen. Even when nothing's happening in The Watch it's rarely boring.
The Watch is at its best when it goes a step further mixing the group in with outsiders and throwing them off their rhythm. Billy Crudup cuts loose as a creepy neighbor and its delightfully weird while the always-impressive Rosemarie DeWitt as Evan's wife Abby brings unexpected warmth to the couple's relationship. Sadly The Watch mishandles its greatest asset: the aliens. The film never finds a pitch perfect blend of comedy and science fiction (Ghostbusters or Galaxy Quest this is not); a few scenes where the two come together hint at the best possible scenario but more often than not The Watch avoids its sci-fi roots. A moment in which the guys haul a dead alien back to their man cave plays like an E.T.-inspired version of The Hangover credits. It's lewd and ridiculous but the rest of the film struggles to maintain that energy.
Stiller Vaughn Hill and Ayoade have all proved themselves able funnymen capable of taking weak and tired material up a notch which they're forced to do in every moment of The Watch. Schaffer can handle his talent but his direction isn't adding anything to the mix. By the third slow-motion-set-to-gangster-rap scene The Lonely Island member's obsession with non-cool-coolness is officially just an attempt at being cool (which is not all that funny). The Watch has a greater opportunity than most comedy blockbusters to go absolutely bonkers: it's rated R. But instead of taking its twist and running with it the movie plays it safe. In this case safe is non-stop jokes about the many facets of human reproduction.
The God of Legion secular Hollywood’s latest Biblically-inspired action flick is old-school an angry spiteful Almighty with a penchant for Old Testament theatrics. Fed up with humanity’s decadent warmongering ways He’s decided to pull the plug on the whole crazy experiment and start over from scratch.
Fortunately for us the God of Legion is also a rather lazy fellow. Instead of doing the apocalyptic work himself and wiping us out with a giant flood which worked perfectly well last time He opts to delegate the task to His army of angels — a questionable strategy that starts to fall apart when the archangel charged with leading the planned extermination Michael (Paul Bettany) refuses to comply.
Michael who unlike his boss still harbors affection for our sorry species abandons his post and descends to earth where inside the swollen belly of Charlie (Adrianne Palicki) an unwed mother-to-be working as a waitress in an out-of-the-way diner sits humanity’s lone hope for survival. Why is this particular baby so important? Is it the one destined to lead us to victory over Skynet? Heaven knows — Legion reveals little details its script devoid of actual scripture. What is clear is that God’s celestial hitmen want the kid whacked before it’s born.
But Michael won’t let humanity fall without a fight. Armed with a Waco-sized arsenal of assault weapons he hunkers down with the diner’s patrons a largely superfluous collection of thinly-sketched caricatures from various demographic groups led by Dennis Quaid as the diner’s grizzled owner Tyrese Gibson as a hip-hop hustler and Lucas Black as a simple-minded country boy.
Together they mount a heroic final stand against hordes of angels who’ve taken possession of “weak-willed” humans turning kindly old grandmas and mild-mannered ice cream vendors into snarling ravenous foul-mouthed beasts. They descend upon the ramshackle diner in a series of full-frontal assaults commanded by the archangel Gabriel (Kevin Durand) the George Pickett of End of Days generals.
Beneath its superficial religious facade Legion is really just a run-of-the-mill zombie flick a Biblical I Am Legend. Bettany an actor accustomed to smaller dramatic roles in films like A Beautiful Mind and The Da Vinci Code looks perfectly at ease in his first major action role wielding machine guns and bowie knives with equal aplomb. Conversely first-time director Scott Stewart a former visual effects artist does little to prove himself worthy of such a promotion serving up some impressive CGI work but not much else worthy of note.
Dodgeball is the classic big guy vs. little guy
can-do tale featuring your least favorite P.E. activity. Peter La Fleur
(Vince Vaughn) is the irresponsible manager of Average Joe Gymnasium a
low-end workout center that is losing business to Globo Gym America Corp.
run by former fatty food fetishist White Goodman (Ben Stiller). Peter
discovers that he has 30 days to come up with $50 000 of payments or else he
will lose his gym to Goodman. With the help of the bank's lawyer Kate Veatch
(Christine Taylor) and a ragtag team of gym regulars Peter plans on
winning the Las Vegas International Dodgeball Open and its first place
prize money. Yes folks all of your favorite sports clichés are here: the
salty experienced coach (Rip Torn) with his inspirational
non-sequiturs the nerd with a girl to impress a love triangle between the two
rivals and of course pirates. What? You were expecting a high concept and clever plot twists perhaps? C'mon.
If you want character development go see the folks at Merchant-Ivory. This
is irreverent comedy folks. And truth be told it's nothing we haven't seen
before. Vince Vaughn hones his too-cool-for-school good-guy persona against
Ben Stiller's lycra-covered over-the-top overachiever with a '70s porn
moustache. Stiller's performance is colored with shades of the dim-witted
Zoolander and the granny-thrashing nurse from Happy Gilmore but it
works. The two actors play off of each other and their co-stars quite well.
(Stiller's codpiece alone deserves its own screen credit.) But like a good drummer carries a band the movie's costars are what keeps the audience's attention. And as always Rip Torn does crazy
like no one else as dodgeball manager Patches O'Houlihan. He
chews the scenery spouting nuggets of wisdom such as "If you can dodge a
wrench you can dodge a ball" before heaving a tool at one poor kid. As for the team of Average Joes Stephen Root Justin Long and Joel Moore keep the gags rolling as do the actors who make cameo appearances. This laugher has more guest stars than a
two-hour Love Boat special. With a list that includes David
Hasselhoff Chuck Norris Jason Bateman Hank Azaria I was almost expecting
Burt Reynolds and Dom DeLuise to show up in a red Ferrari. The
highlights? Well Gary Cole shines in his bow to the great Vin Scully but
nothing could beat Lance Armstrong who laid down the best guilt trip I've
seen since I moved to the dorms.
This is Rawson Marshall Thurber's first time out playing with the big boys.
Quite a burden for a Tinseltown newbie but Thurber pulls it off agreeably.
All of your favorite sports movies will be mocked and you will enjoy it.
Thurber uses everything he can to get a laugh. Whether he's clowning Tony
Robbins parodying '50s instructional videos or using pizza in a perverse
and unholy manner Thurber keeps his audiences attention with enough
breakneck shtick to make Mel Brooks proud. But most importantly he never
forgets the fundamental rule to slapstick comedy: hitting people with stuff
is very very funny especially if it's in the nether regions or some area
of the human body that could potentially hurt or bleed a whole lot.
Top Story: Country Singer Glen Campbell Arrested
Country singer Glen Campbell, best known for his hit single "Rhinestone Cowboy," was arrested Monday in Phoenix, Ariz., on suspicion of extreme drunken driving and hit and run, Reuters reports. Campbell, 67, was also booked into jail on suspicion of aggravated assault on a police officer for allegedly kneeing a sergeant in the thigh while at the station. According to police, Campbell's BMW slammed into a Toyota sedan at an intersection and failed to stay at the scene. Campbell was later arrested at his residence at the Biltmore Estates in a posh area of Phoenix and was released on bond at 12:30 a.m. after a midnight hearing. The singer's blood alcohol level was not immediately released, but the legal limit for drivers in Arizona is .08, with extreme drunken driving more than .15. Campbell's official Web site says that the singer has given up alcohol and smoking cigarettes.
Survivor's Elisabeth Joins The View
Former Survivor: The Australian Outback castaway Elisabeth Hasselbeck, previously known as Elisabeth Filarski, has been named a co-host on ABC's Emmy-winning The View, now in its sixth season. The View's executive producer Barbara Walters, who made the announcement on air Monday with the rest of the co-hosts, held an open casting call for a fifth host to join the daytime show after Lisa Ling left last December. Hasselbeck was one of three finalists in the search for a new host, which also included contenders Rachel Campos of MTV's Real World: San Francisco and actress Erin Hershey Presley of ABC's defunct soap opera Port Charles. Hasselbeck, who was the host of the Style Channel's The Look for Less, will begin her hosting duties today.
Jonathan Brandis' Death a Suicide
The Los Angeles county coroner's office concluded Monday that the Nov. 12 death of 27-year-old actor Jonathan Brandis, who starred in two seasons of Steven Spielberg's SeaQuest DSV, was a suicide, The Associated Press reports. Brandis, who died Nov. 12, hung himself, the coroner said. The actor started his career with a recurring role on the soap One Life to Live at age 6, and went on to make guest appearances on L.A. Law, Who's the Boss? and Murder, She Wrote. His film credits included the starring role in 1991's The Neverending Story II: The Next Chapter, the Rodney Dangerfield comedy Ladybugs and the martial arts comedy Sidekicks with Chuck Norris.
Meat Loaf Recovering From Surgery
Rock singer Meat Loaf, who collapsed in the middle of a sold-out concert at London's Wembley Arena last Monday, is recovering from heart surgery to treat Wolff-Parkinson-White Syndrome, a defect of the heart that causes an irregular heartbeat. Reuters reports the 56-year-old singer, best known for his hit single "Bat Out of Hell," is recovering at a private location in London after undergoing surgery last Friday. Meat Loaf is expected to give more details about his condition and future tour plans after additional tests later this week to determine the success of the surgery, his record company said.
Men Plead Guilty to Posing as Boy Band Members
Two men who posed as former members of the boy band New Kids on the Block in southern Nevada have pleaded guilty to fraud charges and begun serving sentences at separate federal prisons, the AP reports. In October 2002, Ward claimed his wallet was stolen and identified himself as NKOTB member Jonathan Knight, providing Las Vegas police with Knight's Social Security number and date of birth. He then used the report to obtain a Social Security card and Nevada driver's license in Knight's name and a credit card he used it to make purchases. Veskovic admitted to the same scheme involving the identities of NKOTB member Daniel Wood and Kevin Richardson, a member of the Backstreet Boys. A judge sentenced Patrick Ward, 24, to 18 months in prison and Michael Veskovic, 20, to six months in prison, and ordered the defendants to pay nearly $138,000 in restitution
Small Movie Companies Sue Over Screener Ban
More than a dozen small movie companies sued the Motion Picture Association of America Monday in U.S. District Court in Manhattan, claiming the partial ban by Hollywood studios on sending screeners to awards groups will "chill the financing of independent films" by limiting the awards they can receive. According to the AP, the lawsuit seeks at least $25 million in damages and claims the MPAA was conspiring to monopolize the film industry, restricting trade through unlawful and unreasonable agreements with its governing members. The lawsuit said the MPAA's actions toward the small movie producers "were outrageous and were taken with evil motive." Among the 14 plaintiffs are Talking Wall Pictures, Sandcastle 5 Productions and Salty Features.
Role Call: Diesel's Child-Rearing Role, Punk'd Pranksters Hit Big Screen
Vin Diesel is set to star in the Disney action/comedy The Pacifier. According to Variety, Diesel will play an undercover agent who, after failing to protect an important government scientist, learns the man's family is in danger. He agrees to take care of the man's children in an effort to redeem himself, and discovers his toughest mission yet: childcare ... Former Punk'd pranksters Dax Shepard and Al Shearer have set up an untitled project at Fox Searchlight Pictures based on their own pitch. According to The Hollywood Reporter, they will star as two guys from different racial backgrounds who find out they are actually brothers--and who must compete against each other for an inheritance.