Oh, "Slapsgiving 3: Slappointment in Slapmarra," you tricky bastard, you.
I had originally intended this post as a fun, side-by-side comparison between each slap (one of HIMYM's favorite long-running gags): which one was executed best, which one gave the best ratio of Marshall's glee to Barney's fear, etc.
But alas it isn't to be so. Because of some egregious racism (and generally shoddy writing), this episode doesn't even get on the board. No awesome slap countdown like in the original "Slapsgiving," no well-deserved cathartic slap like in "Stuff," nor the fateful double-slap of "Disaster Averted." And it certainly can't beat the clamor of Lily, Ted, and Robin for the honor of slapping Barney in "Slapsgiving 2: Revenge of the Slap." No, the joke's on you, How I Met Your Mother. Because that racist piece of crap was by far the least entertaining of the slaps we've seen so far.
I mean, come on, HIMYM. Did you really think it would be okay to doll up your main cast in yellowface? In this day and age? I get that it was part of a gag, but there's really no excusing it, and the level of ignorance it takes for a whole writing staff to sign off on it is quite honestly kind of astounding.
And even if I wasn't offended by it, "Slapsgiving 3" was a sad imitation of an already-racist Tarantino homage to a kung fu flick. Its parody game was weak, especially when compared with a show like Community, which consistently cranks out much funnier genre-twisting parodies ("A Fistful of Paintballs" and "For A Few Paintballs More" come to mind, a glorious pair of episodes which emulated both a spaghetti Western and Star Wars in (almost) the same breath). HIMYM has nothing on Community when it comes to parody game; what a waste of racism. (kind of like Avatar: The Last Airbender, a film so bad that no one bothered to watch it.)
The best part of the episode? The fact that it got #HowIMetYourRacism trending on Twitter.
The sequel to Machete, Machete Kills just released its second trailer in anticipation of an October 11 release date. The B-movie of all B-movies seems to offer even more of what we've come to expect and love from Robert Rodriguez. This new trailer unveils a little more of the plot and reveals a few gems from the movie to get excited about.
A ringing phone gets passed from one woman lying in a bed, to another… to another, to… the President of The United States (played by Charlie Sheen, or as Rodriguez has appropriately re-renamed him, Carlos Estevez). We can only assume that this tequila-drinking womanizer of a Commander-in-Chief got some bad news on that call; a madman (played by Mel Gibson) is firing a missile at the Whitehouse. As the most powerful man in the world, he knows there's only one machete-wielding badass for the job: Machete (played by Danny Trejo).
Sounds like we’re in for a good'un. Here are the top three treats from the trailer:
IPhone SwitchbladeCan’t wait to see how he uses that one
Sofia Vergara's machine gun braHaven't seen firearms of this caliber since Austin Powers
"Machete don't tweet"#machetedonttweet is trending
So what can you do to prep for Machete Kills? Get your Pacificos, Coronas, and Tecates ready, because with the sequel to Machete also comes the sequel to the Machete Drinking Game. Steven Segal isn't in this one, and there probably won't be as many references to Grindhouse trailers, so you'll have to get creative… Luckily not too creative; stick with what you know. We're just shooting in the dark here, but if you take a sip of your cervesa every time someone dies, there's nudity, or Machete shares his disdain for technology, then you should be in for a good time. Please drink responsibly.
Don’t be too quick to think you know what will happen in this sequel though. Madman Luthar Voz (Gibson) claims to know Machete's every move, but Machete, always armed with a strong counterargument, rebuts, "Nobody knows Machete." We'll take him at his word and enjoy a slew of new and inventive ways of killing bad guys on October 11.
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Easter eggs, April Fools', and a new late night battle — what more could a pop culture enthusiast hope for? NBC announced that Jimmy Fallon would be replacing Jay Leno as host of The Tonight Show in 2014 as Jay-Z decided to push even further into the sports industry (while a real sports hero took the nastiest of falls). And in the middle of all of this, North Korea started moving some of its missiles. Needless to say, there was plenty to make the Twitter comedians explode during the week of March 31.
RELATED: Funniest Pop Culture Tweets from Last Week
See what funny comments they had to say this week on Twitter.
10 Funniest Pop Culture Tweets of the Week:
1. Julie Segal: "North Korea is taking this Leno leaving the Tonight Show thing way too hard."
North Korea is taking this Leno leaving the Tonight Show thing way too hard.
— Julia Segal (@juliasegal) April 4, 2013
2. Stephen Colbert: "Jay-Z is trying his hand at being a sports agent. He's got 99 problems, but negotiating a great back-end deal w/Gatorade ain't one."
Jay-Z is trying his hand at being a sports agent. He's got 99 problems, but negotiating a great back-end deal w/Gatorade ain't one.
— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) April 3, 2013
3. Jimmy Kimmel: "congratulations to my dear, sweet @jimmyfallon - a formidable rival and an incredible lover"
congratulations to my dear, sweet @jimmyfallon - a formidable rival and an incredible lover
— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) April 3, 2013
4. Damien Fahey: "I feel like if we give North Korea Pizza Tracker technology we could get them on our side."
I feel like if we give North Korea Pizza Tracker technology we could get them on our side.
— Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) April 3, 2013
5. Sam Grittner: "Taylor Swift already wrote a hit song about Kevin Ware's leg."
Taylor Swift already wrote a hit song about Kevin Ware's leg.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 3, 2013
6. Eugene Mirman: "I bet Rick Ross would think it was pretty funny if tonight a few guys pull molly in his drink & made love to him while he peacefully slept."
I bet Rick Ross would think it was pretty funny if tonight a few guys pull molly in his drink & made love to him while he peacefully slept.
— Eugene Mirman (@EugeneMirman) April 4, 2013
7. Neal Brennan: "I'm glad Germany took away Bieber's monkey. That kid ain't sold enough records to have a monkey. #MJ"
I'm glad Germany took away Bieber's monkey. That kid ain't sold enough records to have a monkey. #MJ
— Neal Brennan (@nealbrennan) April 3, 2013
8. Josh Gondelman: "April Fool's Day was cancelled. APRIL FOOL! It still exists and sucks!"
April Fool's Day was cancelled. APRIL FOOL! It still exists and sucks!
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) April 1, 2013
9. Michael Ian Black: "A good April Fools prank would be for doctors to tell all their patients it's cancer."
A good April Fools prank would be for doctors to tell all their patients it's cancer.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) April 1, 2013
10. Joan Rivers: "Passover and Easter are overlapping this weekend, so I've decided to dye my matzo balls."
Passover and Easter are overlapping this weekend, so I've decided to dye my matzo balls.
— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) March 29, 2013
Follow Lindsey on Twitter @LDiMat.
[Photo Credit: Wireimage]
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A decade-long gap between sequels could leave a franchise stale but in the case of Men in Black 3 it's the launch pad for an unexpectedly great blockbuster. The kooky antics of Agent J (Will Smith) and Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones) don't stray far from their 1997 and 2002 adventures but without a bombardment of follow-ups to keep the series in mind the wonderfully weird sensibilities of Men in Black feel fresh Smith's natural charisma once again on full display. Barry Sonnenfeld returns for the threequel another space alien romp with a time travel twist — which turns out to be Pandora's Box for the director's deranged imagination.
As time passed in the real world so did it for the timeline in the world of Men in Black. Picking up ten years after MIB 2 J and K are continuing to protect the Earth from alien threats and enforce the law on those who live incognito. While dealing with their own personal issues — K is at his all-time crabbiest for seemingly no reason — the suited duo encounter an old enemy Boris the Animal (Jemaine Clement) a prickly assassin seeking revenge on K who blew his arm off back in the '60s. Their street fight is more of a warning; Boris' real plan is to head back in time to save his arm and kill off K. He's successful prompting J to take his own leap through the time-space continuum — and team up with a younger K (Josh Brolin) to put an end to Boris plans for world domination.
Men in Black 3 is the Will Smith show. Splitting his time between the brick personalities of Jones and Brolin's K Smith struts his stuff with all the fast-talking comedic style that made him a star in yesteryears. In present day he's still the laid back normal guy in a world of oddities — J raises an eyebrow as new head honcho O (Emma Thompson) delivers a eulogy in a screeching alien tongue but coming up with real world explanations for flying saucer crashes comes a little easier. But back in 1969 he's an even bigger fish out water. Surprisingly director Barry Sonnenfeld and writer Etan Cohen dabble in the inherent issues that would spring up if a black gentlemen decked out in a slick suit paraded around New York in the late '60s. A star of Smith's caliber may stray away from that type of racy humor but the hook of Men in Black 3 is the actor's readiness for anything. He turns J's jokey anachronisms into genuine laughs and doesn't mind letting the special effect artists stretch him into an unrecognizable Twizzler for the movie's epic time jump sequence.
Unlike other summer blockbusters Men in Black 3 is light on the action Sonnenfeld utilizing his effects budget and dazzling creature work (by the legendary Rick Baker) to push the comedy forward. J's fight with an oversized extraterrestrial fish won't keep you on the edge of your seat but his slapstick escape and the marine animal's eventual demise are genuinely amusing. Sonnenfeld carries over the twisted sensibilities he displayed in small screen work like Pushing Daisies favoring bizarre banter and elaborating on the kookiness of the alien underworld than battle scenes. MIB3's chase scene is passable but the movie in its prime when Smith is sparring with Brolin and newcomer Michael Stuhlbarg who steals the show as a being capable of seeing the future. His twitchy character keeps Smith and the audience on their toes.
Men in Black 3 digs up nostalgia I wasn't aware I had. Smith's the golden boy of summer and even with modern ingenuity keeping it fresh — Sonnenfeld uses the mandatory 3D to full and fun effect — there's an element to the film that feels plucked from another era. The movie is economical and slight with plenty of lapses in logic that will provoke head scratching on the walk out of the theater but it's also perfectly executed. After ten years of cinematic neutralizing the folks behind Men in Black haven't forgotten what made the first movie work so well. After al these years Smith continues to make the goofy plot wild spectacle and crazed alien antics look good.
Plenty of solid shows will be competing for top honors at this year's Emmy awards, but (as is always the case), there will also be plenty of solid shows that won't be competing.
That's how the cookie crumbles: with countless channels airing countless programs, there will always be quality television that slips under the Academy's radar. But over the course of TV history, there have been a few actors and shows that haven't been simply fallen to the wayside of the Emmys, they've been straight up glossed over. Snubbed.
As we approach this Sunday's ceremony, we took a look back at some of the bigger disappointments in Emmy history, the highlights of sitcoms and dramas that, for whatever reason, never earned their deserved statues.
Homicide Life on the Street/The Wire
Writer/Producer David Simon must have done something horrible in a past life. That seems like the only explanation for a man who's contributed to the world some of the best television of the past twenty years and has rarely seen love from the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences.
Simon's 1993 show Homicide: Life on the Street set a new tone for crime procedurals and only acquired a few supporting cast nods in its six year run. His HBO show The Wire is often referred to as the greatest TV show of all time and not once did it garner a nomination for Best Drama. His latest Treme is only in its second season, but from the get-go had critics raving.
So far, no love. Will Simon's series forever feel the cold backhand of Emmy snubs?
Sarah Michelle Gellar for Buffy
Trumpets are sounding for the return of Sarah Michelle Gellar to primetime television (her new show Ringer debuted last night), but it's not because of her starring roles in The Grudge or Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed. When Joss Whedon decided to to turn his mildly successful horror movie Buffy into a weekly TV show, he found the perfect hero in Geller, equal parts teen drama beauty and rough, vampire butt-kicker. Geller's performance combined with Whedon's snappy dialogue and imaginative plots helped Buffy transcend its home at the WB. Unfortunately, to Emmy voters, it would always be a "show for teenagers"—Whedon picked up nod once in seven season, while Geller never managed a nomination.
Former Letterman and Larry Sanders Show writer Paul Sims assembled a dream cast for his broadcast-centric office sitcom, but few would have known that at the time: Dave Foley (Kids in the Hall), Maura Tierney, Stephen Root, Andy Dick, Joe Rogen, Phil Hartman—the talent was in its infancy, but it was there. NewsRadio took a classic format and gave it a youthful edge. The result was five seasons of evolving characters, shorelines and humor, put to an untimely end by the death of Phil Hartman. Sadly, the show only earned one comedy nomination in its five season run: a posthumous, supporting nod for Hartman.
An American Family
The Emmy award for Outstanding Reality Program was only adopted by the Academy in 2001 and has since honored shows like The Osbournes, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List. But without 1971's An American Family, the idea of docudramas television—or even guilty pleasure trashy reality TV—may never have come to fruition. The show's premise was simple: document a family's life for six months. The show was cut into 12 revolutionary episodes, spawning spin-off series and the cinematic adaptation Cinema Verite, which aired on HBO this past year.
How many Emmys was it nominated for? Zip.
Desi Arnaz for I Love Lucy
Lucille Ball dominated the '50s sitcom scene with her tour-de-force performance of physical comedy, nabbing five Emmy nominations over the six year run of I Love Lucy. But while Ball's Chaplin-esque antics stand-out decades later, would she really be the legendary star she was without her co-star and then-husband Desi Arnaz?
Arnaz was the Michael Bluth of his time, the straight man counterpart to Ball's whacked out troublemaker. He's best known for throwing his hands in the air, crying "Luuuuccyyyyy!" and stirring up the occasional "Babalu" musical number, but even Arnaz was prone to jumping into Ball's crazy plots. He was a rock of the sitcom block, yet not once in his lengthy career did Arnaz find himself on the Emmy's list of contenders.
Josh Holloway for LOST
Until the final season, it was looking like none of LOST's "lead" actors would see love from the Emmys. That is, until star Matthew Fox squeezed one out as the mind-bending drama crossed the finish line.
LOST has been the object of The Emmys' affection in all categories, but with talent, it's been severely unappreciative. Case in point: Josh Holloway, James "Sawyer" Ford, never picking up a nod. While Fox's nomination was deserved, Holloway was the show's perfect foil and his work in Season Three, when his relationships with Jack and Kate really evolve, helped turn Sawyer into a three-dimensional character that mostly actors can rarely achieve.
Any chance we can go back and just throw him an Emmy after the fact?
Ed O'Neill and Katey Segal for Married with Children
On the opposite end of the brilliant performance spectrum lies Ed O'Neill and Katey Segal as the crass (but lovable) couple Al and Peggy from Married with Children. The show was the debut sitcom when Fox launched in 1987 and helped define the network as a…a youth-centric alternative to the stuffy mainstream channels. That probably didn't help Married with Children round up award nominations (after 11 seasons, it only gained technical noms), but history will forever have a place for Al and Peggy. At that point, audiences hadn't seen anything that filthy, that wrong—which makes O'Neill and Segal selling it one of the bigger snubs in Emmy history.
Lauren Graham for Gilmore Girls
Another case where the Academy can't look past the marketing of a show. Gilmore Girls was another WB/CW comedy pegged by most as a small screen interpretation of the "chick flick," light, fluffy and stale. Quite unfortunate, as Gilmore Girls had one of the sharpest wits on TV thanks to the lightning-fast writing of creator Amy Sherman and a charming lead performance by Lauren Graham. The actress' character Lorelai could have been another comedy mom, but Graham elevated her above Reba-style, surface level caricature to dimensional (but funny!) human being. In an era where Desperate Housewives and Sex in the City were dominating the lead actress category year after year, Graham remains one of the hardest working and underappreciated performers of the 2000s.
Taking genre television seriously has never been the Emmys' strong suit, but when a sci-fi show takes itself seriously enough, people start listening…and watching. Syfy's Battlestar Galactica felt like a breath of fresh air amidst a sea of cornball, syndicated genre crap, diving head first into heady character drama and political intrigue with a few robots thrown in for good measure. The talent gained plenty of critical response—most notably the stand out performance by Katee Sackoff as the tough, female pilot Starbuck—but, alas, Battlestar was confined (like its sci-fi drama predecessors) to a lifetime of technical awards. Yes, the special effects were dazzling—but so was the riveting drama. The show (and the genre as a whole) could have used the Emmy love.
Nick Offerman for Parks & Recreation
As the NBC comedy Parks and Recreation prepares for its fourth season (with destiny unknown), we have an important message for the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences: don't you dare let Nick Offerman be a permanent staple on this list.
Offerman's Ron Swanson is P&R's head grump, the yin to Amy Poehler's hyper-enthusiastic Leslie Knope yang. While they can often be found butting heads, their continued friendship is the glue that keeps Pawnee, Indiana's Parks Department (and the show) together. Offerman paints Ron with a perpetual frown, usually clouded by his sizable mustache. But once in awhile Ron slips a smile (or, even rarer, a drunken tiny hat dance) and in those few seconds Offerman pulls off a complete 180 and warms audiences' hearts. Parks and Recreation began in the shadow of The Office, but thanks to guys like Ron Swanson, has become the more fulfilling of the two shows.
Kindly chemistry whiz Sherman (Eddie Murphy) has found the love of his life in cutie colleague Denise (Janet Jackson) who appreciates the heart of gold beneath his extra-large exterior. But the hero's happiness is threatened when his irrepressible alter-ego Buddy Love (Murphy) reappears with a scheme to wreak havoc with Sherman's newly discovered youth potion.
"The Klumps" displays Murphy's remarkable talent for submerging himself in diverse characters even more prominently than the original did. He impressively expands upon the four Klump family members he plays with the aid of Rick Baker's Oscar-winning prosthetic makeup effects -- especially his hilarious turn as sex-crazed Granny Klump. Larry Miller is amusingly caustic as the dean of Sherman's college while pop diva Jackson deserves credit simply for keeping a straight face opposite Murphy's various incarnations.
Peter Segal ("Tommy Boy") hands in a polished if not particularly inspired piece of broad comedy that achieves its primary purpose -- staying out of Murphy's way as he works his special magic. The filmmakers pay little attention to the brainless shamelessly mechanical plotline devoting nearly all their energy to fart and sex gags that if anything aim lower than the original film's. We're talking about a flick draws one of its biggest laughs from a character getting sodomized by a giant hamster. Baby that's nasty!