Last night, Julie Taymor talked to Stephen Colbert about everything that wasn’t what we’re REALLY interested in, and not enough about how she’s slowly killing off the human race with her Broadway musical.
The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30cJulie Taymorwww.colbertnation.comColbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical Humor & Satire BlogMarch to Keep Fear Alive
Jon Stewart talked about how the President is getting pretty irritated that no matter what he does, reporters are going to continue to insinuate that he’s doing the wrong thing because they operate on a 24-hour news cycle and he does not.
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Halle Berry talked to Jay Leno about her upcoming Broadway debut in Mountaintops, a play about what Martin Luther King did in his hotel room after he gave the “I Have a Dream” speech and before he was assassinated. Halle plays a waitress that she describes as a little “off.”
…which might not be that hard for her to do if she reacts to popcorn this way.
Paul McCartney told Jimmy Fallon about his Grammy nomination and being honored at the Kennedy Center.
And Barbara Walters was on Letterman and told him about who she thinks this year’s ten most fascinating people are. David called her out for putting Kate Middleton as a fascinating person, even though Barbara never talked to her…which is very cheating.
Charlie Day stopped by Conan to tell Conan O'Brien about pulling an April Fool's joke on Danny DeVito: he sent his Frank character on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia to jail to get raped... by everyone.
Ray Romano told Letterman on The Late Show about the time when his wife asked the world's toughest question with no right answer: if he could have a threesome with her and a friend, which friend would it be?
Martha Stewart stopped by Late Night to make some delicious eggnog -- with plenty of booze added -- with Jimmy Fallon.
Russell Brand told Leno on The Tonight Show that his approach to playing Shakespeare has changed over the years since he's no longer, you know, a drug addict.
Mila Kunis told Jimmy Kimmel about weighing 95 lbs for her new film, Black Swan -- comparing her body to a "brick." Ew.
Jon Stewart did his Jon Stewart thing and picked apart Fox News and they're newest target: Tulsa's "Holiday" Parade.
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Stephen Colbert talked with Doonesbury creator Garry Trudeau and the cartoonist revealed a major secret: he outsources the writing to Honduras.
The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30cGarry Trudeauwww.colbertnation.comColbert Report Full Episodes2010 ElectionMarch to Keep Fear Alive
So, Conan wore jeggings last night on his show. Yep. I don't think there's anything else to be said, just watch the video.
127 Hours star, potential Oscar nominee, student in four different graduate school programs, and all-around badass James Franco stopped by Jimmy Kimmel last night to talk about what it will be like to host the Oscars.
Jane Fonda stopped by The Tonight Show and revealed how she and current boyfriend Richard Perry met nearly 35 years ago and things got a little... awkward...
Jon Stewart did a bit on The Daily Show on the current state of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" in the U.S. Military and, as usual, made Senator John McCain look like a fool.
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David Stockman, former top budgeteer for President Reagan, stopped by The Colbert Report to talk about the national debt and how he disagrees with extending the Bush tax cuts. But, Stephen Colbert didn't care; he was more interested in how Ronald Reagan chopped logs with his bare hands.
The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30cDavid Stockmanwww.colbertnation.comColbert Report Full Episodes2010 ElectionMarch to Keep Fear Alive
Joel McHale did his Joel McHale thing on Conan last night by calling Conan a pussy and making fun of an audience member but still managing to remain extremely handsome and charming. I mean, seriously -- he's so cute I want to put him in my pocket. (Sidenote: Please, watch Community.)
Also on Conan, Tim Gunn stopped by to promote his new book Gunn's Golden Rules and talked fashion with Conan -- specifically "leotard jeans."
Mitt Romney swung by The Tonight Show to chat with Leno about his presidential plans -- if he runs, he's living by one motto: "get more votes than the other guy." GET IT? Mitt Romney is charming and funny!
Sting talked with Jon Stewart on The Daily Show about how different cities in the world respond to his music -- and feels like playing with the Royal Symphony Orchestra feels like something out of Spinal Tap.
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Stephen Colbert asked former Washington D.C. Chancellor of Public Schools, Michelle Rhee, why he should care about the education of children. And he offered a solution to the education problem -- 7UP in the water fountains.
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Charles Barkley gave Conan his thoughts on President Obama's basketball skills -- and revealed that he's lost 50 pounds. His secret? "If it tastes good, spit it out."
Chelsea Handler was surprisingly funny as she told Leno on The Tonight Show all about her naked TV show -- and suggested that Leno start wearing a bra.
Magic Johnson made a huge announcement on Jimmy Kimmel: he's given up coffee and basketball to bring a NFL team to Los Angeles.
Kristen Schaal told Jon Stewart on The Daily Show that she wants to help save Hugh Hefner and the Playboy mansion because they're classier than internet porn. I mean, bunny wears a bow-tie, duh!
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Tom Vilsack brought a special present to the host of The Cobert Report: a 25-pound Stephen Colbert head made out of cheddar cheese from Wisconsin. Mmmmm. Cheese. Mmmmm.
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Harrison Ford stopped by Conan to talk about his new movie Morning Glory. And, um, we're pretty sure that Han Solo was high out of his mind. Seriously.
Harry Potter's Tom Felton told Jay Leno the story of when he accidentally stepped on Alan Rickman's cloak. Oops.
Jay-Z recounted his time with in the Marcy Projects as a kid -- all the highs and all the lows -- in Brooklyn to Dave on Letterman.
Jimmy Fallon posed as Neil Young as he and Bruce Springsteen played a cover of Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair." And it was awesome. Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuce.
Lewis Black returned to The Daily Show for his segment "Back in Black." The target this time? The government's new attempt to stop smoking.
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John Legend told Stephen Colbert about his new album with The Roots called Wake Up, a tribute to the protest songs of the 60s and 70s.
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Emma Watson is one of our favorite young actresses around the office, and the Harry Potter star stopped by Letterman last night and revealed that there's still some major language difference between England and the United States.
BJ Novak described to Conan the difficulties of manning a pledge drive and the challenge of credit card information, and how no one older than 40 knew who he was.
Russell Crowe told Jay Leno on The Tonight Show about his musical theatre days and specifically, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and provided some nice video of his cross-dressed performance.
Daniel Radcliffe revealed to Jimmy Fallon that he got lost in Central Park, and how Harry Potter was really just a prequel to the movie version of Night Court.
Ex-Olympic Gold Medal winner Marion Jones stopped by The Daily Show to talk about her years of performance-enhancing drugs. And.... uh... it's a little... uh... awkward...
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Stephen Colbert revealed how President Obama and Garfield both hate Veterans, and expects the Leader of the Free World to make up for his lack of respect by eating "Indian corn" on Thanksgiving on Plymouth Rock.
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Kim Kardashian CONTINUED to talk about turning 30 on Leno last night, and the People Magazine profile article on her which expands upon the concept of being 30 and single, which she’s making out to be some sort of reason to sulk. She also told Leno she wanted to have 30 birthday parties to celebrate the milestone but only ended up having 5, which meant the woes kept coming. But at least she primed us for them by telling us she crashed her car when she was 16 and had to pay for it herself.
Jeff Goldblum, Biz Markie, Jimmy Fallon and The Roots performed a killer version of “Just a Friend.” Subbing for Justin Timberlake was Goldblum’s glasses.
Cher revealed to David Letterman a few of the men she’s slept with over the years. On the list? Warren Beatty, Tom Cruise, and Gene Simmons. Don’t you wish you could just keep her next to the platter of fake apples in your kitchen?
Jon Stewart talked about the interviews George W. Bush has been giving to promote his new book. Stewart seemed quite happy to return to the topic of Bush, and called him “an old pair of slippers.” Then he aired some pieces of Matt Lauer’s interview with the former President, and pointed out how he had two years to come up with the answers to these questions and it was like he spent all of his time remembering the time he poisoned someone’s goldfish by replacing his water with vodka.
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And Stephen Colbert touched upon one of the hottest topics these days, which is that Gene Shalit is leaving the Today show, and sent him on his way by absorbing all his opinions.
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Jon Hamm talked with Conan last night about injuries he's suffered on Mad Men's set, and what type of superpowers a middle-aged Superman would have -- like the power of handicap parking. Conan even showed him a part of the Don Draper "What?" montage.
Christine O'Donnell swung by The Tonight Show and tried to explain to Jay Leno and David Spade her thoughts on masturbation.
Russell Crowe told David Letterman on the The Late Show about his smoking past and the one time he -- get ready -- lit his pubic hair on fire.
Jimmy Fallon had Twitter inventors Biz Stone and Evan Williams on Late Night and they admitted that they initially didn't like the user-invented term "tweet."
Jon Stewart tried to poke the Queen of England on Facebook on The Daily Show, but got denied.
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Stephen Colbert gave Martha Stewart some cooking tips when he revealed his secret recipe -- mayonnaise on bread covered in Kool-Aid mix.
The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30cMartha Stewartwww.colbertnation.comColbert Report Full Episodes2010 ElectionMarch to Keep Fear Alive
If the railway thriller Unstoppable looks familiar it’s only because its director Tony Scott and star Denzel Washington partnered just over a year ago on another railway thriller The Taking of Pelham 123. In Unstoppable the train is granted a bigger slice of the narrative pie than it received in Pelham serving not only as the film’s principal setting but also its primary villain. Stocked with a payload of dangerous chemicals Train 777 (that’s one more evil than 666!) hurtles unmanned towards a calamitous rendezvous with the helpless residents of Stanton Pennsylvania. Surely an upgrade over a hammy John Travolta no?
On whom can we depend to put a stop to this massive killing machine this “missile the size of the Chrysler Building ” in the ominous words of Rosario Dawson’s station dispatcher? Not the entry-level clods (Ethan Suplee and T.J. Miller) whose ineptitude originally set the train on its fateful path. (In a chilling testament to the potential dangers posed by the obesity epidemic a chunky Suplee runs to catch up with the coasting train in the hopes of triggering its emergency brake before it leaves the station only to collapse in a wheezing heap unsuccessful.) Certainly not their supervisor (Kevin Dunn) a middle-management goon more concerned with impressing his corporate superiors than ensuring proper rail safety. And most definitely not the parent company’s feckless golf-playing (the nerve!) CEO whose disaster-containment strategy is dictated purely by stock price.
No sooner or later the burden of heroism must fall on the capable shoulders of our man Denzel. As Frank Barnes a resolutely competent locomotive engineer on a routine training assignment with a reluctant apprentice (Chris Pine unshaven) he emerges as the only force capable of preventing the Train of Doom from reaching its grisly destination. Of course in any train-related emergency such as the one depicted in Unstoppable a litany of things must go wrong before the task of averting disaster becomes the sole responsibility of the engineer of another train. And screenwriter Mark Bomback (Live Free or Die Hard) trooper that he is takes care to cycle through every single one of them lest we question the believability of such a scenario. Because believability is so important in films like this.
Denzel’s most formidable foe in Unstoppable it turns out is his own director. As an alleged “old-school” filmmaker Tony Scott largely eschews the usage of CGI but he embraces almost every other fashionable action-movie gimmick occasionally to nauseating effect. When the camera isn’t jostling about or zooming in and out jarringly it’s wheeling at breakneck speed across a dolly track; countless circling shots of key dialogue exchanges give the impression that we’re eavesdropping on these conversations from a helicopter. No static shots are allowed and cuts are quick and relentless giving us nary a moment to catch our breath or recover our equilibrium.
These are the tactics of an insecure director one with startlingly little faith in his material or his performers. As Unstoppable nears it climax we’re invested in the action not because of the incessant play-by-play of the TV reporters who’ve converged on the scene — a ploy mandated by Scott’s frantic style which by this point has left the story teetering on incoherence — but because of our almost accidental bond with the film’s protagonists who despite the director’s best efforts have managed to make just enough of an imprint on our consciousness that we’d prefer they not perish in a fiery train wreck.