After a decade at midnight, ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel Live made the move to the 11:35 PM time slot Tuesday night, becoming a direct rival of The Late Show With David Letterman and The Tonight Show With Jay Leno. While a few jokes about his new foes were expected, Kimmel didn’t slam either Letterman or Leno (for once). Instead, he was on his best behavior and kept the jokes about himself... and Honey Boo Boo, because, of course.
Kimmel did poke some fun at his 25-minute move, saying, "I’m now 25 minutes closer to my lifelong dream of hosting The View." But he took a minute to get serious, and while he didn't outright acknowledge his new rivals, he did hint at the task before him. "I understand what’s at stake here and I don’t take that lightly," Kimmel said. He then brought the comedy back with his segment, Lie Witness News, where he asked random people on the street if they had been watching his new show — even though it was impossible since it hadn't aired yet.
Kimmel also brought back a fan favorite segment, Celebrities Read Mean Tweets, and recruited a whole roster of famous folks to read insulting tweets about themselves. The reactions from Selena Gomez, Eric Stonestreet, Simon Cowell, Jessica Biel and more were hilarious, but Bryan Cranston took the cake. "'Malcolm in the Middle? More like mushy in the middle. Lose some weight, Heisenberg!' I had a good chuckle over that one," Cranston said with a smile. Then he went full on Breaking Bad: "I’m coming for you, @TXGRIZZ."
Jennifer Aniston had the honor of being the first guest on Kimmel's first post-move show, but did some serious damage — joking that she thought she was the last guest on his old show, she came out with a sledgehammer, and completely destroyed his new desk. "That wasn't a very well-built desk, was it?" Aniston said. She did bring along some great photos from her vacation with fiancé Justin Theroux, Kimmel, and John Krasinski; including photos from the men's spa day. Aniston also proved her haircutting expertise (she is the woman who brought us The Rachel, after all), and gave Kimmel quite the professional trim on camera. Check out a clip below:
Musical guest No Doubt performed "Push and Shove," the title track from their new album, and closed out the night with a nostalgic performance of "Hella Good." The lights, the wardrobe, the dancing, and that iconic tune took the audience back to the early aughts... in a great way.
Still, Kimmel's show didn't feel complete without a least one Leno knock. C'mon, Kimmel — time to take a page from Conan.
[Photo Credit: Randy Holmes/ABC]
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The 30 Rock star hit the headlines after clashing with a snapper in New York City on Tuesday (19Jun12), but he played down the furore with a distracting striptease on The Late Show With David Letterman.
After arriving on set to Pat Benatar's Hit Me With Your Best Shot, Baldwin broke the tension by announcing his recent weight loss and stripping down to his underwear to show off his trim legs.
Predicting Letterman's first line of questioning, Baldwin told him, "Let's get to it, shall we? You're obviously burning to hold up the cover of the (New York) Daily News."
The host then showed the audience a copy of the newspaper, which shows the actor lunging for the snapper, as Baldwin joked, "I think you can see I'm forming the letter 'F' with my mouth and what I'm saying is, 'What F stop are you on with the camera?'"
He then insisted, "They want you to react. They want you to take a punch or push them or something... Nobody got punched. I kind of pushed him out of the way because he almost hit me in the face with the camera."
New York Daily News staff snapper Marcus Santos has since filed a criminal assault complaint against Baldwin with police.
Mariah Carey told Us Weekly that she's lost 30 pounds since having her twins, and she's now back to being a size 6. She admitted she "gained an enormous amount of weight" when she was pregnant, but I think most of us are kind of like, "yeah, well, you had to eat enough to feed 3 people!" But apparently Mariah was very sick of feeling like she was the equivalent of a spaceship that no longer houses the scientific experiment monkeys, and she decided in July that she was going to get trim again. She started working out three times a week and ate 1,500 calories per day and worked out under the strict supervision of someone from Jenny Craig, and now she feels "incredible." But now that she's lost the weight she still seems to disinclined to stop talking about how much weight she had, so that's a little strange. - Us
David Arquette told Howard Stern that he told Courteney Cox that their marriage is definitely over because he's in love with his new girlfriend. And Arquette revealed that when he broke the news to Courteney that he officially didn't want to be with her anymore, they both cried. And then Arquette wanted to know why he keeps talking about his relationships, and nobody could figure it out. - Daily Mail
Jessica Simpson says she decided to postpone the wedding after she learned she was pregnant because she didn't want to be a "hormonal bridezilla" on her wedding day. Because, you know, regular unpregnant brides are never problematic. - Radar Online
The soccer star and model is famous for his various hairstyles and offered to style Lopez's hair into a faux-hawk on Lopez Tonight!
Beckham told the host he's no novice and often styles his own hair.
He said, "I kinda get bored... I wake up in the morning and I'm bored with what my hair looks like and I'll just cut it myself.
"My mum's a hairdresser, so I inherit that a little bit."
Beckham took the scissors to Lopez's hair and then gelled it into shape.
In the Dark Ages Arthur (Clive Owen) is the Roman commander of a band of Sarmatian warriors who after losing a key battle to the Romans were forced to join the Empire's Special Forces unit and sent to Britain to defend Roman holdings from the encroaching Saxons and the uprising Britons. Some 15 years later the Romans are pulling out but Arthur and his knights are sent on one final mission for the Empire before returning to Rome--rescue a Roman nobleman and his family from the other side of Hadrian's Wall before they get massacred by the Saxons. As with any final mission things don't necessarily go as planned. With the Saxons on their heels Arthur decides to not just rescue the family but hundreds of slaves at the same time--including Guinevere (Keira Knightley) and her mysterious shaman Merlin (Stephen Dillane) who convince Arthur to join the Britons in their fight against the Saxons instead of going home. Arthur balks until he realizes the Roman Empire has crumbled and he has nothing left to go home to. He leads his knights into the Battle of Badon Hill a clash that proved pivotal to the country's future and started Arthur on his path to become king of Britain.
Knights weren't exactly cuddly lovable guys; in fact the Sarmatian warriors were fearless killing machines--a concept the cast of King Arthur clearly grasps. Owen as Arthur is a brave charismatic leader who never lets his knights down. Owen also adds a smidgen of sensuality to the character a quality that draws others to him including his six knights and Guinevere wonderfully portrayed by Knightley. But with the exception of a brief love scene between the two co-stars the film steers clear of romance and Guinevere's attraction to Arthur seems more about the myth than the man. The young Knightley however stands her ground with the testosterone-laden cast and proves she can act fight and look absolutely spectacular in nothing but harnesses and armbands. Judging by the studio promotion you would think Guinevere is the film's main character but she is only introduced some 40 minutes into the film. Lancelot (Ioan Gruffud) is slightly less impenetrable than Arthur and Gruffudd crafts this quality in him by showing a little bit of fear every now and then. The actor gives Lancelot a vulnerability that helps to make the character a bit more human.
Director Antoine Fuqua (Training Day) and co-writer David Franzoni (Gladiator) call this film the "real" story behind the King Arthur mythology and trim away every ounce of the fantasy you associate with the legend in favor of gritty realism. The story as Franzoni tells it is based on an actual half-British Roman commander named Artorius who fought the Saxons in the 5th century. But setting up the people events and the entire history behind King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table takes time--about 40 precious minutes and that doesn't even include the opening scrawl. Not only is it boring it's confusing. King Arthur however picks up steam when it gets to The Final Mission. At this point Knightley's character Guinevere is finally introduced and Fuqua gets to indulge the audience with an epic battle complete with captivating military strategies and intense fight sequences. Fuqua's sets are also impressive especially the replica of Hadrian's Wall complete with massive gates. But the film's noble set designs cannot make up for the lack of character development that plagues this Arthurian tale. As with Gladiator Franzoni is so preoccupied making the characters in King Arthur ferocious that he forgets we need to care about them too.
Who would have guessed that Bud Selig is a revolutionary thinker?
(Who would have guessed that Bud Selig of all people would give me fodder for an article?)
Baseball's commish has ratified the owners' vote to drop two Major League Baseball teams before the start of next season. (Never mind the myriad legal battles that stand in his way.)
Now that the nation's downsizing trend has made its way to baseball burgs, Hollywood.com has taken the "drop-two" concept to entertainment groupings that might need a trim.
And, unlike baseball, we're not afraid to name our two, either.
Group: Harry Potter characters
Which Two Get Canned: Professor Dumbledore and Hermione Granger
Why: Both are stuck-up, righteous, know-it-alls. Who needs 'em?
Group: ABC primetime shows
Which Two Get Canned: Dharma & Greg, America's Funniest Home Videos
Why: True, the whole lineup deserves to be canned, but these shows rotted on the vine a long time ago.
Group: 'N Sync
Which Two Get Canned: Lance and Joey
Why: For one, they can't sing. For two, they starred in that God-awful movie, On the Line.
Group: James Bond movies
Which Two Get Canned: The Living Daylights, License to Kill
Why: Even George Lazenby was a better Bond than the wooden Mr. Dalton.
Which Two Get Canned: Ross and Monica
Why: The other four--especially Chandler--are actually funny at times.
Group: Destiny's Child
Which Two Get Canned: The two who aren't Beyonce
Why: Because we don't even know the names of the two who aren't Beyonce.
Group: Jackson 5
Which Two Get Canned: Marlon, Randy
Why: As if we'd ever get rid of Tito...
Group: Star Trek
Which Two Get Canned: Sulu, Transporter Chief Kyle
Why: They're the first two to go when a recession finally hits the Federation.
Group: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Which Two Get Canned: Commander Riker, Wesley Crusher
Why: Extraneous. Captain Picard needs Riker like he needs a third leg, and the young Mr. Crusher is just a skinny snot rag.
Group: Led Zeppelin
Which Two Get Canned: John Bonham, John Paul Jones
Why: They aren't Robert Plant or Jimmy Paige. This was essentially a two-man band.
Group: The Brady Bunch
Which Two Get Canned: Jan, Sam
Why: Their names have three letters. And Jan is just a whiny little snot rag. Hmm, maybe she should date Wesley Crusher.
Group: Rocky Franchise
Which Two Get Canned: IV, V
Why: Five was way too many Rocky movies. Even Sugar Ray Leonard didn't un-retire this many times.
Group: Late night TV hosts
Which Two Get Canned: Conan O'Brien, Charles Grodin
Why: Can't get rid of Jay or David; they have too much money. And we like Craig Kilborn and Charlie Rose too much.
Group: Star Wars movies
Which Two Get Canned: Return of the Jedi, Phantom Menace
Why: Jedi was the weak link of the first trio, and Attack of the Clones--despite the inane title--will be infinitely better than Phantom Menace.
Which Two Get Canned: Chloe, Luka
Why: Both of them have lost that lovin' feeling.
Which Two Get Canned: Ringo, George
Why: (See comment above, re: Led Zeppelin.)
Group: The Simpsons
Which Two Get Canned: Skinner's mom, Rod Flanders
Why: Agnes had sex with the Comic Book Guy, which is unforgivable. Rod, the elder Flanders son, has already left the straight-and-narrow path set by his dad: How boring.
And an honorable mention goes to The Sopranos, who don't need to be on this list. They do a good enough job of contraction all by themselves.