Go ahead and throw logic out the window on this one folks. A mysterious Tibetan monk with no name (Chow Yun-Fat) has spent a lifetime protecting an ancient document known as the Scroll of the Ultimate--a parchment that will yield unlimited power to anyone who reads it. After running around the globe for 60 years the Monk knows it's time to hang up his robes and find a new guardian but spotting a successor isn't easy in the hustle bustle of the 21st century where Tibetan traditions and rituals are almost non-existent. Maybe the next protector should be the crafty rebellious pickpocket Kar (Seann William Scott) who learned martial arts from watching kung-fu movies; after all Kar helps the Monk escape from the scroll's most avid pursuer Strucker (Karel Roden) a sadistic old Nazi who wants to use the its power to rid the planet of inferior races. Or maybe the Monk's successor is the elusive but beautiful bad girl Jade (James King) whose skills are numerous and who seems to pop up to help Kar whenever he gets in a jam. Whomever the Monk eventually chooses they must first unite to battle the ultimate enemy--and keep the scroll safe.
If it weren't for Yun-Fat Bulletproof Monk would be pretty hopeless. The charismatic actor finds a nice balance no matter what he does and in this case he resists the obvious temptation to play the Monk as a fish out of water in the big city. Since he's long been one of Chinese cinema's most well-known action heroes he's definitely in his element in Monk standing on top of a car with guns blazing and the Zen master persona he discovered in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon serves him well here too. The script requires him to spout off fortune-cookie mumbo jumbo but he manages to do it without sounding ridiculous. The petite King actually holds her own as the brawny-yet-brainy tough chick but the wisecracking Scott is completely out of his element for the first time in his career. He handles the little comedic tidbits well but in no way is it possible to believe that the "Dude" who couldn't find his car and the jackass who drank someone else's bodily fluids in American Pie can be a martial arts hero who saves the planet. It just isn't going to happen.
Bulletproof Monk relies on the ghosts of movies past including Crouching Tiger and the 1986 Eddie Murphy stinker The Golden Child for its plot which results in a film that's chock full of cliches especially the evil Nazi who has spent 60 years chasing after the scroll using his tow-headed granddaughter whose cover is an organization for human rights to do the dirty work. A few bright moments with Yun-Fat coupled with director Paul Hunter's good use of fast-paced martial arts action make the rest of this unimaginative movie somewhat palatable--even novices Williams and King look good doing the moves--but all in all Bulletproof Monk is shooting blanks.
Hollywood.com is on the scene at the 55th Cannes Film Festival, seeing the films and sipping with the stars for the next 12 days. Check in every day to get the latest!
May 15, 2002 -- It really was the Cannes before the storm as festival staffers put the finishing touches on their preparations for the 55th Cannes Film Festival. Saws buzzed, generators whirred, brooms swished. Cameramen rehearsed their swooping aerial shots over and over. Never ones to be hurried at beautifying, the French workmen didn't begin work on the famous steps of The Palais until yesterday! And by this morning they'd barely covered the banisters in the familiar and fabulous red.
The Jury, who gets to decide the big winner at the end of the festival, arrived early. Director David Lynch, of Mulholland Drive fame, heads the Jury of the Competition this year, along with Sharon Stone and others. The Cannes Selection Committee sat through 2,281 films, including 939 features and 1,342 shorts to come up with their 55 selections.
All day the energy rose as the sun baked the growing throngs of fans who brought folding chairs and created the best seats in the house in front of The Palais. Some of them arrived 12 hours in advance. Even the fans are dressed to the max, as they watch producers, journalists and barely dressed starlets-in-the-making networking in all different languages.
One of the festival's most celebrated auteurs, Woody Allen, opens the Festival. Beginning at the end is very popular these days, so it makes sense that Cannes opens withis his Hollywood Ending and closes in 12 days with French director Claude Lelouche's And Now…Ladies and Gentlemen.
Then suddenly it's time! It's a bit before 7 p.m. and the sun is still shining brigh as that once-in-a-lifetime moment begins. The music swells, the paparazzi shout as their camera flashbulbs explode nonstop. The crowd roars as Debra Messing, Tiffani Thiessen, Treat Williams, Barney Cheng and Jodie Markell join Woody (avec wife, Soon Yi) in their finery as they glide over the Palais steps transformed by red carpet and enter
the huge theater where they will enjoy this comedy about a comeback director before whisking off to the after-hours, invitation-only beach party at the fancy Carleton Hotel.
There is so much to look forward to over the next 12 days. For the very first time digital technology makes its debut in Cannes with a showing of George Lucas' Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones. Leonardo DiCaprio and Martin Scorsese will show 20 minutes of their wildly anticipated Gangs of New York. (Scorsese, that multitasking director, will also serve as President of the Short Films Competition.)
Other stars planning to spend a little time here are Cameron Diaz, Adam Sandler, Matt Damon, Sandra Bullock, Jeremy Irons, Rosanna and Patricia Arquette and Antonio Banderas, just to name a few!
And who knows what will be added to the mix? Earlier today a green convertible VW Beetle passed us on the main drag, the Croissette, with a transvestite in a matching green wig behind the wheel, followed by a pink convertible bug driven by a pink-wigged transvestite.
Why? That is never the question to ask in Cannes.
Val Waxman (Woody Allen) is an award-winning director who has jumped the shark and is now in Canada shooting deodorant commercials for nickels and dimes and well animal pelts. So when his ex-wife Ellie (Téa Leoni) and her new husband slick Hollywood studio exec Hal Yeager (Treat Williams) ask him to helm Galaxy Pictures' next big-budget movie he reluctantly signs the deal. Unfortunately the script for The City That Never Sleeps reminds Val of his own failed relationship with his son and causes him to go psychosomatically blind. Poor Val doesn't want to lose this much-needed gig and allows his agent Al (Mark Rydell) to persuade him to direct the film anyway which means keeping his blindness a secret. To make matters worse the publicity department has given a reporter from Esquire magazine the green light to cover the daily happenings on the set. Needless to say no one can do a better job than Allen of talking and gesticulating to the air walking into large objects and falling off sets.
Nervous and jittery like most of his characters Woody Allen is hilarious as Val and he makes the character's blindness completely believable. Allen's performance is priceless especially in the scenes where he is out with Ellie; he tries his best to have a professional discussion with her but constantly blurts out these Turrets-like comments about their breakup. Téa Leoni (Jurassic Park III) is superb and very natural in the role of Ellie--she has come such a long way since her short-lived 1995 television series The Naked Truth. Treat Williams (Venomous) and George Hamilton (Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles) are perfectly cast as glossy Hollywood tycoons while Mark Rydell (Intersection) personifies perfectly the loyal entertainment agent. Will & Grace's Debra Messing struts her big screen skills with her portrayal of Lori the ditzy aspiring actress and Val's live-in girlfriend but much like sultry Tiffani Thiessen's (The Ladies Man) part her role is rather small.
Allen has written a clever satire of Hollywood films and what goes on behind the scenes. When his character Val loses his vision and exclaims that he will not be able to direct the film his agent Al responds "Have you seen some of the pictures out there?" The rest of the film never lets up down to the film's crowd-pleasing "Hollywood Ending." There are quick-witted jabs at everyone and everything especially West Coast culture. The film even pokes fun at itself sometimes: Messing's character Lori leaves for an extended stay at a fitness spa early on in the film and when she finally returns Ellie comments "I forgot about her." Well so had we all. Allen also drops a lot of little references that will leave you wondering. For example his character mentions that when his first wife left him she changed their son's name. (Wasn't Seamus Allen's real life son with Mia Farrow once called Satchel?) Although there are some preachy moments including a dinner party scene where the characters discuss their favorite Hitchcock film the film is witty and entertaining.