Every week, Hollywood gives us something to whine about, and the week of June 24 was no different. We could make a drinking game out of this week, but that would be too dangerous. Instead, we'll stick to the usual formula: varying levels of alcoholic respite depending on how bothersome the week's issues are. Is your biggest complaint this week a flimsy one? How about a light cocktail to take the edge off? Got a real bone to pick with a celeb or entertainment entity this week? Go ahead, grab a drink that'll put hair on your chest. Here are the week's entertainment stories that are forcing us to seek a bubbly or boozy refuge. And maybe an idea or two about how you should wash them down.
LIGHTEN UP WITH A TEQUILA SUNRISE
Adele and Bon Jovi have banned their songs from karaoke. Rumour Has It that whoever allowed them to ruin karaoke forever is Wanted Dead Or Alive.
Game Of Thrones superfans are naming their children Khaleesi so that their daughter Arya isn't the only one who has to face Earth's version of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros.
The creator and showrunner of MTV's Awkward. upruptly quits her own show. Huh...well this really is awkward...
WASH THIS WEEK DOWN WITH A fUNKY MONKEY
Justin Bieber was banned from a skydiving facility for life, proving that "you can't fly unless you let yourself fall" but you also can't fly if you're a douchebag.
An alternate ending to The Hills will air on MTV because these LC and co. weren't annoying enough the first time around.
Miley Cyrus embarasses herself on Jimmy Kimmel Live and "We Can't Stop" staring.
HIT THE HARDER STUFF WITH A LONG ISLAND ICED TEA
Paula Deen's Today show appearance doesn't help her cause, tempting us all to "pick up that rock, pick up that boulder" and hit her as hard as we can.
Chris Brown was accused of assaulting a woman in a nightclub. Or was he really just complimenting her on her dancing? After all, he once told us "the way you drop, drop" makes him wanna pop.
Jim Carrey suddenly withdraws from supporting his violent Kick Ass 2, paying tribute to his bipolar personalities in The Mask and Me, Myself & Irene.
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A Breitling watch custom made for Sean Connery to wear as James Bond in 1965 film Thunderball has sold at auction for almost $160,000 (£103,000). The timepiece was expected to go under the hammer at London's Christie's auction house between $62,000 (£40,000) and $93,000 (£60,000).
The Breitling model became the first watch modified by 007's gadgets guru Q, and was equipped with a Geiger counter to help Bond detect the emission of nuclear radiation.
Actress Elizabeth Taylor's first wedding dress, which she wore as an 18-year-old bride when she married Conrad Hilton, Jr. in 1950, was also a big hit at the auction - it sold for $189,000 (£122,000), more than double the $77,500 (£50,000) it was expected to fetch.
The wedding gown Elizabeth Taylor wore when she exchanged vows with Conrad Hilton, Jr. is heading to the auction block. The Cleopatra beauty was just 18 when she wed the hotel heir - Paris Hilton's great-uncle - in May, 1950, and she wowed her new husband and their star guests by gliding down the aisle in a pearl-encrusted satin dress with built-in corset, designed by Helen Rose.
The union - the first of eight for Taylor - lasted less than a year, but the dress was kept in top condition and is set to be sold off at Christie's auction house in London on 26 June (13).
The dress is expected to fetch between $46,500 (£30,000) and $77,500 (£50,000).
Taylor died in 2011.
Celebrities get married, divorced, and remarried all the time nowadays, but the great Elizabeth Taylor puts them all to shame. The glamorous actress was infamous for her numerous marriages — eight, to be exact. Movie stars just aren’t what they used to be, huh? Well, now a lucky (and rich) someone will be able to own the starlet’s first wedding dress when it goes up for auction at Christie's in London on June 26.Taylor wore the satin gown at her wedding to Conrad Hilton in 1950 when she was only 18 years old. Designed by Helen Rose, the custom-made dress is a relic of Old Hollywood, embellished with beading and complete with a 15-yard train. Unsurprisingly, the dress has a huge price tag — according to a Christie's press release, it's expected to go for upwards of £30,000 - 50,000 (or $75,000) at auction. For some reason, I doubt that Taylor’s most recent portrayer, Lindsay Lohan, will be putting in a bid.
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The wedding gown Dame Elizabeth Taylor wore when she exchanged vows with her first husband Conrad Hilton, Jr. is set to go under the hammer next month (Jun13). The Cleopatra star, who was only 18 when she wed the hotel heir on 6 May, 1950, wore an oyster shell-coloured, floor-length satin gown, and now the special piece is to be auctioned off by Christie's in London on 23 June (13), when it is expected to fetch upwards of $75,300 (GBP50,000).
The frock features an impossibly-thin 22-inch waist and was designed by Helen Rose, who also created Grace Kelly's wedding dress.
Unfortunately, the gorgeous gown didn't bring Taylor too much luck - her first marriage only nine months. The late movie icon wed another seven times.
Paris Hilton's cousin has been charged with domestic battery. Conrad Hilton III was arrested in Boca Raton, Florida on 5 May (13) after he allegedly pushed his girlfriend while dining at posh restaurant Abe and Louie's.
The 53 year old, whose father Conrad Hilton, Jr. was previously married to Elizabeth Taylor, was booked at the Palm Beach County Jail and released on his own recognisance.
His partner, whose name has not been released, revealed the philanthropist was "slightly intoxicated" during the ordeal and he was later charged in the incident, according to local news outlet CBS Miami.
Paris Hilton's ex-boyfriend Doug Reinhardt is engaged to wed his high school sweetheart.
The former The Hills star proposed to Allie Lutz over the holiday season and she announced the happy news to fans via her Instagram.com blog on Sunday (06Jan13).
Lutz showed off her large sparkler in a cute image of the couple, alongside the caption, "Cat's out of the bag".
The pair is currently on vacation in Anguilla.
Reinhardt split from hotel heiress Hilton in 2010 after dating her on and off for less than a year. He also previously dated his The Hills co-star Lauren Conrad and briefly romanced former Miss USA Rima Fakih.
It’s Friday! Time to kick back, relax, and get caught up on all of the TV news you missed today while working. And by "working" we mean when you watched YouTube videos, and looked at the clock every five minutes in anticipation for the weekend. Hey no judgement, we totally get it. Tyra Banks is poking fun at her past, a Gossip Girl villain is back on set, and President Obama has a date on The Daily Show. All that and more in today’s tidbits! Fivehead: Being a world-famous supermodel is awesome. Being an awkward teenager? Not so much. Tyra Banks explains, “In high school, if you have glasses, you’re a ‘four eyes’, if you have braces, you’re a ‘metal mouth’ but if you had my forehead? You’re a fivehead,” Banks is looking to channel all that high school angst into a new scripted comedy for ABC called Fivehead. The “smize” enthusiast is co-creating/executive producing the single camera comedy with her childhood friend and co-creater of America’s next Top Model, Kenya Barris. Fivehead will center on Bank’s impressionable teenage years—both at home and in school—as she transitions from an awkward duckling into a fierce swan. [Deadline]
Gossip Girl: Spotted. Kate Cassidy back on the set of Gossip Girl. We last saw Juliet way back in 2010 when she went all psycho on Serena (Blake Lively) and tried to out her for having an affair with a teacher, aka Juliet’s brother. The Arrow starlet is returning to the Upper East Side for the series finale, and—brace yourself—she has a phone in her hand! Could Juliet be Gossip Girl? Discuss. [EW.com]
The Daily Show: President Obama is heading to Comedy Central’s fake news show once again! On October 18, the president will appear as a guest on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, two days after his second Presidential debate at New York’s Hofstra University. This will be Obama’s sixth sit down with Stewart, the most recent interview being October 27, 2010. [Deadline]
Wonderland: NBC is hoping to add a bit more of that fairytale craze to their line-up next year. The network is finalizing a deal to purchase Wonderland, a drama set in the world of Lewis Carroll’s Alice In Wonderland that will be executive produced by CSI creator Anthony Zuiker. The series is set years after the book ended and will introduce viewers to a new character, Clara. In an attempt to get her life back on track, Clara enters wonderland and must rage war on the new queen—Alice! Intriguing, no? [Deadline]
F*ck! I’m in my Twenties: NBC is currently developing a half-hour comedy project based on the hilarious Tumblr blog F*ck I’m In My Twenties. Created by 24-year-old Emma Koeing, the blog features quirky doodles to express the perils of being a recent college grad in today’s world. Following in the same theme, the show will feature a twenty-something girl’s experience living in the big city and trying to adjust to living life outside of the classroom. [Deadline]
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The 18 year old is said to have been detained by police on Friday (27Jul12) for a probation violation after allegedly testing positive for marijuana, reports TMZ.com.
Hilton's probation relates to a previous arrest and he was reportedly kept behind bars on Friday night.
A kids’ movie without the cheeky jokes for adults is like a big juicy BLT without the B… or the T. Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted may have a title that sounds like it was made up in a cartoon sequel laboratory but when it comes to serving up laughs just think of the film as a BLT with enough extra bacon to satisfy even the wildest of animals — or even a parent with a gaggle of tots in tow. Yes even with that whole "Afro Circus" nonsense.
It’s not often that we find exhaustively franchised films like the Madagascar set that still work after almost seven years. Despite being spun off into TV shows and Christmas specials in addition to its big screen adventures the series has not only maintained its momentum it has maintained the part we were pleasantly surprised by the first time around: great jokes.
In this third installment of the series – the trilogy-maker if you will – directing duo Eric Darnell and Tom McGrath add Conrad Vernon (director Monsters Vs. Aliens) to the helm as our trusty gang swings back into action. Alex the lion (Ben Stiller) Marty the zebra (Chris Rock) Gloria the hippo (Jada Pinkett Smith) and Melman the giraffe (David Schwimmer) are stuck in Africa after the hullaballoo of Madagascar 2 and they’ll do anything to get back to their beloved New York. Just a hop skip and a jump away in Monte Carlo the penguins are doing their usual greedy schtick but the zoo animals catch up with them just in time to catch the eye of the sinister animal control stickler Captain Dubois (Frances McDormand). And just like that the practically super human captain is chasing them through Monte Carlo and the rest of Europe in hopes of planting Alex’s perfectly coifed lion head on her wall of prized animals.
Luckily for pint-sized viewers Dubois’ terrifying presence is balanced out by her sheer inhuman strength uncanny guiles and Stretch Armstrong flexibility (ah the wonder of cartoons) as well as Alex’s escape plan: the New Yorkers run away with the European circus. While Dubois’ terrifying Doberman-like presence looms over the entire film a sense of levity (which is a word the kiddies might learn from Stiller’s eloquent lion) comes from the plan for salvation in which the circus animals and the zoo animals band together to revamp the circus and catch the eye of a big-time American agent. Sure the pacing throughout the first act is practically nonexistent running like a stampede through the jungle but by the time we're palling around under the big top the film finds its footing.
The visual splendor of the film (and man is there a champion size serving of it) the magnificent danger and suspense is enhanced to great effect by the addition of 3D technology – and not once is there a gratuitous beverage or desperate Crocodile Dundee knife waved in our faces to prove its worth. The caveat is that the soundtrack employs a certain infectious Katy Perry ditty at the height of the 3D spectacular so parents get ready to hear that on repeat until the leaves turn yellow.
But visual delights and adventurous zoo animals aside Madagascar 3’s real strength is in its script. With the addition of Noah Baumbach (Greenberg The Squid and the Whale) to the screenwriting team the script is infused with a heightened level of almost sarcastic gravitas – a welcome addition to the characteristically adult-friendly reference-heavy humor of the other Madagascar films. To bring the script to life Paramount enlisted three more than able actors: Vitaly the Siberian tiger (Bryan Cranston) Gia the Leopard (Jessica Chastain) and Stefano the Italian Sealion (Martin Short). With all three actors draped in European accents it might take viewers a minute to realize that the cantankerous tiger is one and the same as the man who plays an Albuquerque drug lord on Breaking Bad but that makes it that much sweeter to hear him utter slant-curse words like “Bolshevik” with his usual gusto.
Between the laughs the terror of McDormand’s Captain Dubois and the breathtaking virtual European tour the Zoosters’ accidental vacation is one worth taking. Madagascar 3 is by no means an insta-classic but it’s a perfectly suited for your Summer-at-the-movies oasis.