Last night, Mark Wahlberg made Late Show history by being the first person in all the years of the show to utter the phrase "pus bubbles." Wahlberg spoke about his various tattoos, dating back to age twelve, and the process of getting rid of them.
Channing Tatum showed up on Jimmy Kimmel Live! to tell stories about his younger days as a stripper, to talk his father's peculiar acting advice, and to recall fending off a vicious "mountain lion" while he was projectile vomiting from eating a bad sandwich.
Back on The Late Show, Glee's beloved Heather Morris stopped by to share a video of her secret power of flight which she recorded with costar Vanessa Lengies. It's very Brittany.
Finally, the latest The Bachelor star, Ben Flajnik, appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live! to talk about his failed proposal on The Bachelorette, and his "commitment to the art" of the sexual promiscuity inherent in his reality show career.
S2: E4 After all of creator Ryan Murphy’s promises of new Glee club members over the summer, I was starting to get a little worried that it was all a bunch of hype. But thanks to Puck’s idiotic idea to drive his mom’s Volvo through a convenience store to steal the ATM (of course he can’t be like most high school bad boys who get caught smoking pot behind the bleachers, he’s got to get sent to juvy with a bang), New Directions is down a member. Schue says he doesn’t know when Puck will be back. Damnit, Murphy. I’m going to miss that bad boy eye candy. FREE PUCK!
Anyway, Schue’s got a brand new replacement for Puck. Fresh on the DL (disabled list, ladies) after getting pummeled on the football field last week, Sam (a.k.a. Justin Bieber, Surfer edition) swoops in to take his place – albeit with some awful jokes. (Really? A “Sam I Am” joke? Come on, blondie. You can do better than that.) Now that Schue’s managed to bring the team back to an odd number, he announces that the team will compete to see what duo can perform the best duet. Kurt has a theory that newbie Sam is secretly gay (he dies his hair, duh!) and asks him to be his duet partner which starts to worry Finn.
Then there’s a scene that I’m pretty sure just made the rest of the episode a blur for most dudes; Cheerleader make-out! Yep. Brittany and Santana are making out because Santana’s lost her usual make-out buddy, Puck, to the slammer. Santana makes it perfectly clear that there’s no lesbian storyline and denies Britt’s request to do a duet to a Melissa Etheridge song (subtle, sweetie), and instead strong arms Mercedes into being her duet partner because their voices go together so well. (Remember their musical face-off over Puck? It did kind of rock.)
Finn asks Kurt to leave Sam alone, and trudges up their fight from last season over Finn’s homophobic issues. Though Kurt’s ready to completely tune him out, Finn brings up the fact that Kurt’s overzealous approach to his previous crush on Finn was too much and that if Kurt acts the same way with Sam, that the newbie will take so much flack he’ll want to quit glee. But it’s not just Finn. Kurt’s dad, who’s recovering from his heart attack, even says that Kurt was too pushy with Finn last year, which brings up how incredibly difficult and lonely life is for Kurt as the only openly gay student at his high school. He’s the only one who can’t hold hands in the halls with someone he likes, which in high school, is pretty close to torture. They’re really keeping the tough storylines coming, aren’t they?
Finally it’s time for the first duet – Rachel and Finn – and while they usually put me in a sugar coma, they were actually kind of cute. Really! They rehearse Elton John’s “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart,” and Rachel realizes that they’re “totally” going to win. It makes her realize that she’s really selfish – no, really? She’s inspired by Finn’s goodness, and decides that they have to throw the competition so that Sam will win and thus want to stay on the team. Even though Finn points out that she’s technically doing this just to win at nationals and thus she’s still being somewhat selfish, I’m still pretty impressed with her sudden bout of self awareness.
Tina and Mike Chang (and his abs) are fighting. (Asian fusion’s not so strong any more, eh?) She wants to win the competition because the prize is dinner at Breadsticks and she’s tired of always having uber-Asian dates. Mike wants her to go to “Asian couples therapy” to which she replies, “Why does the couples therapy have to be Asian?” Thank you. I was getting a little tired of the constant references to their Asianness – we get it, and we’re over it. Move on.
In the meantime, Brittany tells Artie she wants to be his girlfriend because she wants to push him around in a stroller (what is with her and babies?). Artie gets to make Tina jealous and Brittany gets to get back at Santana for refusing to be her duet partner. No more cheerio make-out sessions, sorry dudes.
Finn tries to convince Sam not to sing with Kurt, but Sam doesn’t see the problem (he heard him singing and thought it was Faith Hill). Finn explains that he’ll be tortured if he does, but Sam says he gave Kurt his word and that’s the end of it. He quickly learns that being a gleek is torture because he gets slushied as soon as he leaves the locker room. Quinn swoops in and helps him wash off the red slush, making a reference to the time she got blue slushie in her underwear and how it turned her nether regions blue. (Do you usually talk about below the belt issues when you first meet new dudes, Miss Head Cheerleader?) Sam responds by complementing her eyes in Na'vi – the Avatar language? Yikes, this kid has no game.
Back in glee club, we get round two of the Mercedes and Santana show; they rock out “River Deep, Mountain High” and they really do work well together. If Santana wasn’t so incredibly bitchy, a performance like that might have actually made me like her. (Besides, if she doesn’t stop adding an S to the end of every word, I’m going to throw something at my television. “We’s be goin’ to Breadsticks.” Yeah, well not if you can’t learn to speak like a normal person.)
Kurt decides to set Sam “free” (but he chooses to tell him that while Sam is in the shower…awkward), and instead Kurt performs a duet…with himself. He does a full-on Broadway caliber production of Victor/Victoria’s “Le Jazz Hot.” It’s pretty incredible that a character who was a last minute write-in is stealing the show from queen-bee Rachel (he wasn’t slated to be a character on Glee until Murphy met him and wrote him a part). Kurt is quickly becoming the best performer on the show, even if his duet was “vocal masturbation.” Don’t worry Kurt, Santana’s just jealous.
Now that he’s free, Sam partners up with Quinn. When they rehearse, he tries to kiss her and she freaks out, saying she can’t handle a relationship. Finally she references how hard dealing with last year’s pregnancy has made her life, they had been letting that huge issue slide into the background. It’s kind of a big deal, the girl gave away her baby, people.
Though Tina asked Artie to be her duet partner (he denied her, snap!), she and her hard-abbed boyfriend perform a duet, and newsflash kids: Mike can’t sing. So that’s why he’s so quiet. No problem, Tina’s picked the perfect song, “Sing” from A Chorus Line. Mike gets to talk and do what he does best – dance – while Tina acts as support and sings. It was actually done pretty nicely, the gleeks are really getting down with the Broadway tunes again and I have to admit I kind of like it.
After Tina’s great performance, Artie is working extra hard to make sure he and Brittany can top it. He realizes that Brittany just doesn’t have the same skills and that he’s not over Tina. Brittany wants to help him, so she picks him up (like a baby, seriously the girl’s got an obsession) and takes him to the bed. “Before we duet, we’re gonna do it.” Nice one, Britt. Artie eventually tells Brittany that he feels used because his virginity means something to him, but sex means nothing to her. She apologizes (she even learned how to eat spaghetti like the pups in Lady and The Tramp!) but he can’t handle working with her or dating her anymore and he breaks up with her and withdraws from the competition. Bummer, I was actually looking forward to what they were going to sing together.
Finn and Rachel decide that they need to do a bad, offensive version of a song in order to be sure to lose. Conniving Rachel and Finn are actually really entertaining, keep ditching the smultz, guys. This is way more fun. The couple performs “With You I’m Born Again” dressed as a (slutty) nun and a priest. Yikes. Even Quinn says the song made her want to punch them both in the face. (Key word here is “both” – she always wants to punch Rachel.) Mission (and total alienation) accomplished.
Before their purposely awful performance, Rachel and Finn convinced Sam and Quinn to get back together as duet partners. The blond duo do a sweet rendition of Jason Mraz’s and Colbie Callait’s “Lucky.” Super cute, or “So freaking charming” as Santana would say. Poor Kurt, he looks so heartbroken watching the cutesy pair. Ryan Murphy, please give Kurt a boyfriend character, I don’t know how much longer I can watch his heart break.
The duet competition ends and everyone votes…for themselves. Typical musical theater kids. Thanks to Rachel and Finn’s vote, Quinn and Sam win by just two votes and get to go on a Breadsticks date. Sam continues the bad jokes – I guess it’s part of his character folks, we’re just going to have to get used to it. Quinn finally realizes that she doesn’t have to stop being a teenager to move forward with her life, so she tells Sam he has to pay for the dinner instead of using the gift certificate because they’re on a real date. (Brat, did it ever occur to you that you’re in high school and that a 17 year old probably doesn’t have enough money on him to suddenly buy you dinner? But they’re cute, so I’ll shut up.)
Finally, Rachel approaches Kurt in the hall and says what the rest of us knew all along – that he’s the other star of glee club. She also tells him that while she understands that he must feel all alone because he’s the only gay student at school, but that he has the members of glee who all love him and that he’s not truly alone. (And they’ve made me cry for the second week in a row. I’d better stock up on Kleenex for the rest of the season.)
Kurt and Rachel close the episode with a duet (this time for the pure joy of singing instead of an attempt to win dinner at an unlimited Breaksticks restaurant). They belt the Barbra Streisand version of “Happy Days are Here Again/ Come On Get Happy” – Rachel really is a Barbra mini-me sometimes. It was a little mature for high school kids, but it may have even been better than Babs’ version. Glee is back on a roll, and that even without single second of Sue Sylvester in the entire episode. Wow.
January 14, 2004 11:52am EST
Top Story: Another Screener Surfaces on Web
The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced that a second movie sent to Oscar voters has turned up on the Internet--the Tom Cruise epic The Last Samurai, The Associated Press reports. According to the Academy, Warner Bros. had not identified the source of the Internet copy of the film, which opened in theaters Dec. 5. The finding comes a day after the MPAA announced a probe into an unauthorized copy of Something's Gotta Give, which surfaced on the Internet some time last week.
Nugent's Texas Chainsaw Accident
Was Leatherface lurking somewhere on the set of rocker Ted Nugent's new reality series? The hard-driving guitarist received 40 stitches to mend a gash in his leg that resulted from a chainsaw accident on the Texas set of his new show and has been fitted with a leg brace, the AP reports. Nugent, 55, is currently taping the reality series Surviving Nugent: The Ted Commandments for VH1. In the show, Nugent invites a group of city slickers to live in the woods outside his sprawling, multi-acred compound just outside of Waco and become rugged outdoorsmen. The top prize is $100,000. Nugent didn't miss any time on the series, which is scheduled to air in April.
Rosie: Do You Really Want To Hurt My Career?
Taboo, the Boy George musical brought to Broadway by Rosie O'Donnell, will close Feb. 8, the AP reports. The show opened Nov. 13 to largely negative reviews and has since struggled to reach its weekly break-even point, reportedly more than $400,000. According to the League of American Theatres and Producers, Taboo grossed $281,333 last week, filling only half the seats at the Plymouth Theatre. The show also lost all of O'Donnell's $10 million investment.
Brittany Murphy Gets Engaged
Brittany Murphy and talent manager Jeff Kwatinetz became engaged Jan. 9 at a silent movie theater in Los Angeles, People reports. According to the magazine, the two started dating after Murphy's breakup with her Just Married co-star Ashton Kutcher. The 26-year-old actress also appeared in Girl, Interrupted and Uptown Girls.
Sundance Film Festival Kicks Off
The Sundance Film Festival, which is backed by actor Robert Redford and his Sundance Institute for movies, kicks off Thursday in Park City, Utah. Organizers expect some 40,000 attendees at the fest, which will feature 255 short and feature-length films--including the premiere of Ashton Kutcher's supernatural thriller The Butterfly Effect and the smaller-budget pic November, starring Courteney Cox. Sundance 2004 will also feature several films from black directors such as Vondie Curtis Hall's Redemption and Mario Van Peebles' Baadasssss!, which recounts the making of his father's landmark 1971 film, Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song. Sundance's increasing popularity over the years is attracting big names to the festival, with Nelly, Jason Mraz and Macy Gray expected to perform. Filmmakers, celebrities and industry VIPs in attendance will receive a gift bag valued at $5,000 that includes a Nautica woman's puffy jacket with fur-lined hood, a Microsoft wireless mouse, Junkfood Heather vintage T-shirts and a one-year membership to Crunch Fitness. The 2004 Sundance Film Festival ends Jan. 25.
OutKast, White Stripes To Perform at Grammys
OutKast, Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera and the White Stripes are among the first performers confirmed for the 46th annual Grammy Awards ceremony, which will take place in Los Angeles Feb. 8. According to Billboard.com, OutKast's Big Boi and Andre 3000 will take part in a segment dedicated to funk, which will include George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic, Earth, Wind & Fire and Robert Randolph & the Family Band. The Grammys will be broadcast live from Staples Center on CBS beginning at 8 p.m. ET (tape delayed on the West Coast).
Deadline for Oscar Ballots Looming
The deadline is looming for Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences Oscar nomination ballots to be submitted. According to Variety, ballots must be received by PricewaterhouseCoopers, the company that will tabulate the ballots, in Los Angeles by 5 p.m. Saturday, Jan. 17. Nominations will be announced Jan. 27. The 76th Annual Academy Awards will be presented at the Kodak Theatre in L.A. and will be televised live on ABC beginning at 5:30 p.m. (PST), with a half-hour arrivals program preceding the presentation ceremony.
CBS Rules in Ratings Again
Once again, CBS ruled in the ratings last week, according to primetime viewership numbers compiled by Nielsen Media Research for the week of Jan. 5-Jan. 11. The Top Ten shows, their networks and viewerships were: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, CBS (27.5 million); NFC Playoff Postgame, Fox (27.1 million); AFC Divisional Playoff: Tennessee at New England, CBS (25.9 million); Friends, NBC (25.5 million); ER, NBC (22.8 million); CSI: Miami, CBS (20.4 million); Everybody Loves Raymond, CBS (19.1 million); The Apprentice, NBC (18.5 million); Without A Trace, CBS (18.2 million); and Law and Order, NBC (18 million).
Role Call: Ledger, Gyllenhaal Play Gay Cowboys; Columbus Eyes Dead
Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal are in negotiations to play gay cowboys in director Ang Lee's Brokeback Mountain for Focus Features. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the film revolves around two men who meet one summer in Wyoming and form a loving bond that spans 20 years ... Harry Potter director Chris Columbus is in talks to helm The Brief History of the Dead for Warner Bros. The project is based on Kevin Brockmeier's unfinished supernatural love story. The novel tells the story of a blind man who arrives in a new city and tells a story of having traveled across a desert after his death.
October 09, 2003 3:52pm EST
Probably one of the most improbable storylines ever even by kiddie film standards Good Boy! is the story of a 12-year-old boy named Owen (Liam Aiken) who wants his own pet desperately and is thrilled to adopt a scraggly little stray dog he names Hubble. Aptly it seems--what Owen soon discovers is that Hubble whose actual name is canine 3942 isn't from the pound; he's from the Dog Star Sirius. Turns out he's been sent to Earth to make sure dogs have fulfilled their original thousand-year-old mission: To colonize and dominate the planet. But somewhere along the line dogs went from being super-intelligent creatures with interplanetary travel capabilities to being an overpopulated breed of household pet devoted to man. The ruler of Sirius the Greater Dane is so shocked by what has happened that she has sworn to recall all Earth dogs back to their home world. Hubble accidentally bestows upon Owen the ability to understand and communicate with dogs which turns out to be a good thing because the boy joins Hubble in the struggle to keep dogs on Earth and live happily ever after with their human masters.
The human star of Good Boy! is Aiken who has starred in several feature films including Road to Perdition and Sweet November. Aiken has an endearing presence on screen and his character Owen is a pretty good match for the young actor. The script however calls for Owen to be more naïve than he should be; he's a bright kid who buys into the notion that dogs talk and come from outer space too easily. But the most refreshing thing is that he's actually a 12-year-old playing a 12-year-old. Saturday Night Live alums Kevin Nealon and Molly Shannon play Owen's doting parents who are too much like comic caricatures to care about. More impressive than them is the roster for the dog voices which include Matthew Broderick as Hubble and Delta Burke Donald Faison Carl Reiner and Brittany Murphy voicing the pack of neighborhood dogs. Following the predictable stereotypes Burke voices the snooty poodle Faison voices the boxer Reiner voices the big Burmese mountain dog and Murphy voices the skinny Italian greyhound.
First-time director John Hoffman's Good Boy! is a cutesy children's movie that has been dumbed down to a five-year-old level which doesn't make sense considering it has been given a PG rating for some mild crude humor. Hoffman along with author Zeke Richardson adapted Richardson's story Dogs From Outer Space and although there are a few poignant moments in the film it's mostly a lot of fluff. If you suspend your disbelief for 88 minutes and accept the yarn about dogs being so far superior to man (after all they did travel to distant planets a thousand years ago) it's difficult to understand why Hubble would want to stay on Earth. Hoffman would like moviegoers to believe it's because of the undying affection they get from humans but at the same time he is reminding us that dogs have subsequently been conscripted into the service of man. Producers Lisa Henson and Kristine Belson however did a wonderful job with the dogs and were wise enough to use real animals instead of animatronic puppets. The dogs seem pretty natural in their actions and you never get the sense that a trainer was lurking behind the cameras holding a biscuit and giving orders to roll over or play dead. And fortunately post-production was used to make the dogs appear to be talking instead of having them eating something to mimic talking lips.
Any marriage is going to have its ups and downs. But what if those "downs" start happening the minute you step off the altar? Such is the premise of Just Married as blue-collar radio traffic announcer Tom Leezak (Ashton Kutcher) meets rich free-spirited writer Sarah McNerney (Brittany Murphy) and after a whirlwind romance they decide to get hitched. Oh if it could be that easy. Their course to true love has several strikes against it and the rest of the movie is spent figuring out if they are going to make it or not. Strike No. 1: Sarah's well-to-do parents (whose nicknames for each other range from "Pee-Wee" to "Pussy") are completely appalled she's marrying "beneath her." Strike No. 2: Sarah's sophisticated rich ex-boyfriend Peter (Christian Kane) the one Daddy McNerney (David Rasche) favors wants Sarah back. Strike No. 3: after they get hitched anyway the two young marrieds' honeymoon in Italy quickly turns horrific. In fact it's so unbelievably awful--from their small yellow box posing as a rental car being pushed off a mountain cliff to the cockroaches crawling over them as they try to make love in a run-down Venice shack to said ex-boyfriend showing up to thwart all that is good--your only hope is that they don't kill each other before they can get the sucker annulled. Of course we don't really believe they'll break up do we? We know better. With any good old-fashioned romantic comedy the power of love wins out. Blech.
It's not easy being relatively new faces in the film business and having a major feature film rest on your shoulders. Yet Kutcher and Murphy do their best with a formulaic script and some painful-looking physical comedy added in for good measure. It's evident the two click (so much so they became a real-life couple) so it's nice to wholeheartedly believe they are mad for one another. Their youthful appeal is about the only thing that saves the film from total drudge to be honest. Individually Kutcher gets to venture off from the one-note innocuously stupid guy he's played in movies such as Dude Where's My Car? and Fox's That '70s Show just a little to show some heartfelt moments especially when telling his new bride how much he loves her. To his credit he doesn't fail miserably at it. On the other hand Murphy who has the acting chops having handled meaty roles in dramas (Girl Interrupted) as well as comedies (Clueless) has nothing whatsoever to go on as Sarah. Clearly she must've been listening when her agent said "Do this movie! It'll be great for your career!" The rest of the cast blends in with Rasche being the only standout as Sarah's no-nonsense all-business millionaire dad.
You might feel sorry for this movie being released the second week of January just after an enormous onslaught of Oscar-touted films if it wasn't for the fact that 20th Century Fox obviously timed it to capitalize on the youth audience in a field of so-called "boring old people movies." Just Married is just the ticket for young people. Kutcher has developed a following after the surprising hit movie Dude Where's My Car? and Murphy just made a splash with Eminem in 8 Mile. The film has the age group 16-24 written all over it. But come on folks even good intentions to capture a certain market can't make up for a downright silly movie. Director Shawn Levy whose credits include 'tween flick Big Fat Liar and Disney Channel's The Famous Jett Jackson handles Just Married pretty much like his previous--broad and wacky with very little substance. The best part of the movie is the very beginning when the two newlyweds walk off the plane fuming and one-upping each other. Ah married life. The irony is duly noted but then the film goes straight into a flashback sequence lapsing periodically between pratfalls saying the wrong thing at the wrong time and gushy professions of love. Chalk it up to bad judgment.