We all know how the story goes: Boy meets girl, boy and girl get drunk, boy and girl get fake married, and — oh f**k, that wedding wasn't fake! It's every single person's worst nightmare. And, for actress and comedian Janeane Garofalo, the sitcom's wacky plot device was revealed to be reality. Garofalo revealed at the New York Comedy Festival's reunion for The Ben Stiller Show that until this past Saturday, she had been unknowingly married to Big Bang Theory producer Rob Cohen for 20 years. Wha? That's crazy talk! Crazy, but true.
According to The New York Post, Garofalo explained, “Rob and I got married, for real, which we had to have a notary dissolve not 30 minutes before we got here tonight … We were married for 20 years until this evening.”
“We got married drunk in Vegas . . . We dated for a year, and we got married at a drive-through chapel in a cab. [We thought] you have to go down to the courthouse and sign papers and stuff, so who knew? We were married, and apparently now that [Rob] is getting married for real, his lawyer dug up something,” says Garofalo.
Holy moly, this is some pretty unbelievable stuff. Unbelievable, but not unheard of. From everyone's favorite mildly incestuous cousins to a hungover toothless man and his stripper, funny people just love gettin' accidentally hitched. Luckily for Garofalo, her surprise marriage ended in a quickie divorce. Not so for these less fortunate brides and grooms, who had things go terribly awry once they said their vows.
Jack Donaghy and Liz Lemon on 30 Rock
While Jack is trying to marry his girlfriend Avery on the show's fifth season, the minister accidentally pronounces Jack and Liz husband and wife. The horror! Before they can undo what had been done, Jack and Liz are forced to go through couples counseling.
George Michael and Maeby Funkë on Arrested Development
Unfortunately, romantic feelings are not so mutual with these kissing cousins. After George Michael and Maeby have a "mock" wedding to appease Alzheimer's patients at the hospital, George Michael decides not to tell Maeby that the wedding was actually real. When the truth gets out — because the truth always does — Maeby is none-too-thrilled. Hey, at least Garofalo and Cohen's wedding was a secret to both parties!
Ross Geller and Rachel Green on Friends
Much like Garofalo's situation, Ross and Rachel tie the knot in a drunken stupor in Sin City. But as the two remember what they had done, things take a turn for the creepy — Ross pretends to have annulled the marriage when, in fact, he never signed the papers. That dastardly so and so!
Stu and Jade in The Hangover
During his inebriated nuptials with Jade (a Vegas Stripper), Stu not only gives away a tooth but also his grandmother's Holocaust ring. At least neither Garofalo or Cohen gave away priceless family heirlooms… that we know of.
Fonzie and Jenny on Happy Days
What starts out as a fun costume party on a boat turns into one heck of a web to unweave when Fonzie and Joanie's friend Jenny realize their farce wedding might actually be real. While the Fonz thought the whole ordeal was just a gag, the fact that an actual sea captain performed the ceremony meant that he might have actually gotten hitched. To complicate matters, Jenny is not so keen on getting the marriage annulled. In classic overly complicated sitcom fashion, our hero is ultimately saved by a technicality — the boat upon which he said "I do" was only a half mile off shore, and, according to Happy Days' Maritime Law, a vessel must be three miles out to see before a sea captain can take matrimonial authority. Needless to say, Garofalo got off easy.
DJ Tanner and Uncle Jesse Marry Their Greek Cousins on Full House
Whatever you do, don't walk around a table with a Greek person — you'll wind up married. Luckily, all it takes to end said marriage is to walk back around the table backwards... at least in the reality of Full House.
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[Photo Credit: Joseph Marzullo/WENN]
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Those weeks between mid-December and mid-January can hold lots of holiday joy, but they are a veritable wasteland of TV reruns (I know, I know…the dreaded r-word). We’ve got to wait until January 15 for most of our favorites to come back to the small screen with new material, but what about our TV rituals? I expect to settle in and watch my favorite sitcoms on Thursday nights; whatever am I to do? Well, thanks to the magic of Hulu, Netflix, and other video on demand services we can travel through past Christmases instantly when those reruns start to feel a little stale.
Ludachristmas (30 Rock Season 2)
There’s nothing like Christmas in New York and there’s nothing like a New York Christmas on 30 Rock. Travel back to Liz Lemon’s first Christmas-themed escapade (Season One’s was decidedly non-festive) which includes Tracy with a Lindsay Lohan style ankle bracelet to keep him from consuming Christmas spirits, a visit from Liz’s brother, who, thanks to a traumatic accident, is still stuck in 1985 and thinks he’s 17 when he’s actually 40, a plot by Jack’s mom to drive the “perfect” Lemon family insane and Kenneth’s attempt to teach the TGS staff by taking away their annual drunken Ludachristmas celebration and replacing it with bible study.
Find it on: Netflix, Amazon Downloads or iTunes ($1.99), Hulu Plus
Christmas Party (The Office Season 2)
This is what started it all; it’s the reason we wait all year for mid-December when we can see yet another office party gone awry. It’s the first ever The Office Christmas Party. Back when Michael was the craziest one in the building he turned Secret Santa into Nasty Christmas and that special brand of face-palm awkwardness was our reward. We get our first glimpse at just how crazy Jim was about Pam (aww) and Meredith gave Michael a very unwanted Christmas present.
Find it on: Netlfix, Amazon or iTunes ($1.99), Hulu Plus
Christmastime in South Park (South Park, various seasons)
It’s a smorgasbord of South Park Christmas “cheer.” The collection includes seven South Park Christmas specials including episodes that give us Santa double fisting machine guns, Kenny’s resurrection from Season 5, a murderous, yet cuddly cute Woodland Critter Christmas, and of course, adventures with Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo. (Hiiiiiiiie-dee-ho!)
Find it on: Netflix, Amazon Downloads (for a fee), South Park Studios
Afternoon Delight (Arrested Development, Season 2)
Ah, Arrested Development. If I could have one Christmas wish (okay, one TV related Christmas wish), I would wish for more Arrested Development. Since that’s not an option as far as I know (although those swirling AD movie rumors are always fun to believe), we must resort to a few classic episodes and, in this holiday season, there’s only one episode that captures that old-time holiday tradition: awkward encounters with your relatives. When George Michael ditches his dad and their Christmas tradition, Michael and Maeby spend the afternoon together and sing a duet that makes just about everyone feel like throwing up in their mouths a little bit.
Find it on: Netflix, Amazon or iTunes ($1.99), Hulu Plus
Undeck the Halls (Modern Family, Season 1)
It was our first Christmas with Modern Family, and it’s totally representative of the show’s dynamic; the Dunphy's are threatening to take Christmas away from the kids, Manny and Gloria test Jay’s patience with the culture clash of including their Colombian traditions in Christmas and Cam gets a mall Santa fired. Merry Christmas, right?
Find it on: Amazon or iTunes ($1.99), Hulu Plus
Comparative Religion (Community, Season 1)
Of course, it’s hard to top this year’s “Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas” episode, but in case you’ve already watched it 15 times and are looking for something more vintage, last year’s Christmas episode was pretty damn good too. We saw the potpourri of the study group’s religions reach a head, Jeff challenged a school bully and the whole thing ended with carols and friendship (but of course not without a massive bully smack-down in piles of fake snow). Try to remember that just because this year was AWESOME, it doesn’t refute previous season’s perfectly hilarious and lovely holiday episodes. Plus how can you not love 'Oh, Christmas Troy?'
Find it on: Amazon or iTunes ($1.99), Hulu Plus
MythBusters Christmas Special (Season 5, episode 1)
It’s been long enough that you’ve probably had time to forget which way these Christmas and New Year’s Eve themed myths busted on this classic episode. Take a look back and figure out if reindeer could really hold Santa’s sleigh, how to keep the needles from falling off your Christmas Tree and how much you’d have to yodel to start an avalanche in some wintry wonderland. Ahh, science.
Find it on: Amazon ($1.99)
Saturday Night Live (Season 24, Episode 9, Host Alec Baldwin)
Go back to that magical time when Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey teamed up on something other than 30 Rock (not to downplay the brilliance of their current alliance). Fey was head writer, Will Ferrell was still a cast member and the show produced a comedy classic in the NPR Delicious Dish segment that gave us Pete Schweddy’s Christmas balls. Mmm, balls.
Find it on: Netflix, Hulu Plus (Just the Schweddy clip)
A Very Special Family Guy Freakin’ Christmas (Family Guy Volume 2)
Do you miss the old days of Family Guy? Back when it was really offensive? Take a trip down Quahog's memory lane and watch the episode that gave us Stewie taking an Exorcist-style picture with a mall Santa, KISS saving Christmas from pterodactyls, Brian burning down the Christmas tree (and the house) and Lois going Ho-ho-horrifically insane on all things filled with Christmas joy.
Find it on: Netflix, Amazon Downloads ($0.99), Hulu Plus
She of Little Faith (The Simpsons, Season 13)
After the commercialization of the church scandalizes Lisa, she turns to Buddhism. She then suffers through a holiday season without being able to join her family in Christmas celebration because she’s no longer a Christian. Richard Gere makes the most tolerable guest appearance he’s ever made and convinces Lisa that she doesn’t have to renounce her family’s holiday traditions to be Buddhist. Ahh, remember back when The Simpsons actually shared wonderful little nuggets of wisdom like that?
Find it on: Netflix (Hard Disc only)