When you write for a living, especially about beloved child stars going off the deep end or the demise of long-term relationships, you really need to savor the simple joys in life. So it's hard to blame the celebrity news headline writers who jumped on Kate Middleton's happy baby news (and kinda sad hospitalization news) with the most obvious pun of all: "royal pain."
She's a Duchess, and she's in extreme pain. GET IT?! (Question: Is that what the USA show is about?)
We should not begrudge these poor SEO-seeking editors the satisfaction of a pun well done. No, we should celebrate those who embraced their cheesiness so fully and without apology.
The clear winner in this pun-off is Salon's Laura Miller, who not only used the phrase in question, but also squeezed in a play on the Duchess' maiden name with "Kate's middle is in royal pain." A job well done, really.
The New York Daily News got playful too, going with "Kate Middleton morning sickness will be a royal pain," while Fox News livened up its report on Middleton's extreme morning sickness with "Royal Pain: What is hyperemesis gravidarum?"
It's hard to believe only three outlets went for the easy pun, especially when there is so much potential there. Your turn: What's your favorite punny royal baby headline? Or have you come up with a better one?
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[PHOTO CREDIT: WENN.com]
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Though Kate Middleton has mostly been seen on the arm of her husband Prince William, the Duchess of Cambridge went solo on March 19, as she made her first public speech as a member of the Royal Family. According to People magazine, the Duchess said a few kind words -- all of which she wrote herself -- while opening the East Anglia Children's Hospice at the Treehouse center in Ipswich, outside of London.
"I am only sorry that William can't be here today. He would love it here," she said about her husband. "A view of his – that I share – is that through teamwork, so much can be achieved. What you have all achieved is extraordinary."
Middleton also mentioned that when she first came to visit the charity's hospice, she had a "pre-conceived idea as to what to expect." However, she soon realized that "far from being a clinical depressing place for sick children, it was a home. Most importantly, it was a family home, a happy place of stability, support and care. It was a place of fun."
As always, Middleton looked chic yet professional. Wearing an electric blue Reiss belted dress and black heels, the Duchess' speech received overwhelming praise by a crowd of 600 people. Not too bad for her first speech.
Meanwhile, Prince William is expected home shortly from his six-seven week posting in the Falkland Islands.
Bobby Garfield (David Morse) returns to his small hometown to attend the funeral of his childhood friend and remembers the fateful summer in 1960 when his whole world changed. The story flashes back to when 11-year-old Bobby (Anton Yelchin) and his best friends Carol (Mika Boorem) and Sully-John (Will Rothhaar) capture the pure joy of youthfulness. When a mysterious stranger named Ted Brautigan (Anthony Hopkins) moves upstairs and starts to pay attention to Bobby the boy suddenly realizes what's truly missing from his life--the love of a parent. Bobby's mother Liz (Hope Davis) is embittered by the death of Bobby's father and shows little compassion for her son's growing needs. Ted fills a void with the boy opening his eyes to the world around him and helps Bobby come to terms with his real feelings for Carol--and his mother. But Ted also has some deep dark secrets of his own and Bobby tries hard to stop danger from reaching the old man.
The performances make the film especially in the genuine camaraderie of the kids. Yelchin Boorem and Rothhaar never deliver a false move with an easiness that makes us believe we are simply watching three 11-year-old children grow up together. Yelchin in particular is able to get right to the heart of this young boy who misses his father and clings to the only adult who will listen. And his scenes with Boorem simply break your heart. (Davis) does an admirable job playing a part none too sympathetic. She manages to show a woman whose been beaten down but who does truly love her son in her own way. Morse too is one of those character actors you can plug in any movie and get a performance worth noting. In Hearts you want to see more of him. Of course the film shines brightest when Hopkins is on the screen. It may not be an Oscar-caliber performance but the actor is unparalleled in bringing a character to life--showing the subtleties of an old man looking for some peace in his life.
If you are expecting the Stephen King novel you may be disappointed. Screenwriter William Goldman and director Scott Hicks (Shine) deftly extracted the King formula of telling a story through a child's eye and explaining how the relationships formed as a child shaped the adult later. Hicks did an amazing job with his young actors especially Yelchin and Boorem. But where the novel continued into a supernatural theme explaining Brautigan's fear of being captured by "low men in yellow coats" (a reference to King's The Dark Tower series) the movie downplayed the mystical elements instead giving real explanations for Brautigan's man-on-the-run. That was the one problem with Hearts--we needed more danger. Introducing men from another dimension may not have been the way to go but had there been more tension the film would have resonated more especially when Bobby risked his own safety to save Ted.