Elaine Stritch
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BirthDate BirthPlace |
02/01/1925
Detroit, MI |
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Bernadette Peters Approves of 'Into the Woods' Movie Cast, Says They 'Can Really Sing'
June 11, 2013 1:11pm ESTFrom Chicago to Les Misérables, Hollywood is no stranger to film adaptations of Broadway shows. It's always a good sign, however, when a movie musical has the support of the folks involved with its original stage production. Such is the case with Rob Marshall's upcoming Into the Woods film. At Monday night's Eight Annual Stella By Starlight Gala, original Into the Woods cast member Bernadette Peters shared her excitement about the movie with Hollywood.com. "I think so far from what I've heard about the casting, I think it's really, really being cast well, with people that can really sing." The two-time Tony winner was one of many attendees at the Stella Adler Studio of Acting's benefit gala honoring Broadway legend Elaine Stritch, as well as Star Trek's George Takei and Into the Woods songwriter Stephen Sondheim. Sondheim is rumored to be composing a new song for the film adaptation, whose cast so far includes Johnny Depp, Jake Gyllenhaal, Meryl Streep (who will be playing Peters' role as the Witch), Emily Blunt, Chris Pine, and possibly Christine Baranski. Into the Woods is still very much in the pre-production stage, but we're counting down the days until we get to see Meryl Streep belt out "Last Midnight." Follow Caroline on Twitter @carolinesb | Follow Hollywood.com on Twitter @Hollywood_com More:Chris Pine and Jake Gyllenhaal to Give 'Into the Woods' Some Strong-Jawed RoyaltyMeryl Streep Heads 'Into the Woods' As The WitchCasting Johnny Depp in 'Into the Woods' Is a Very, Very, Very Bad Idea From Our PartnersStars Pose Naked for 'Allure' (Celebuzz)Which Game of Thrones Actor Looks Least Like His Character? (Vulture)
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Stars attend acting school gala in New York
June 11, 2013 10:03am ESTAlec Baldwin, Liza Minnelli and James Gandolfini turned out for the Starlight Benefit Gala in New York on Monday night (10Jun13) to raise funds to train underprivileged actors. The annual gala boosts donations for the Stella Adler Outreach Division, a scheme set up by the famous Stella Adler Studio of Acting in the Big Apple to give low-income performers access to classes. During the event, stage legend Elaine Stritch was made an Honorary Chair of the acting school, while composer Stephen Sondheim and actor George Takei were also celebrated with awards on the night. Tom Oppenheim, the Stella Adler Studio's artistic director, says, "Stella by Starlight allows us to pay tribute to great theatre makers like Elaine Stritch and Stephen Sondheim, but perhaps more importantly, it helps us to raise funds for programs like the Outreach Division. Through the generosity of the extended community, Stella by Starlight makes it possible for young people to receive an education that brings them in touch with their most authentic selves." Broadway legend Bernadette Peters performed at the event.
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2013 Tribeca Film Festival Includes a Paul Rudd Buddy Comedy & 'Star Wars' Remake
March 06, 2013 3:20pm ESTThe Tribeca Film Festival has announced the Spotlight Lineup of films for its 11th annual fete, taking place April 17-28 in Manhattan. It’s an impressive roster of much of the indie world’s greatest talent, including a new buddy comedy from the director of Junebug starring Paul Giamatti and Paul Rudd, Richard Linklater’s highly anticipated follow-up to Before Sunset, a few notable documentaries, and an experimental take on Star Wars courtesy of hundreds of diehard fans. Here are the ones that caught our eye: NARRATIVE FEATURES Almost Christmas—Paul Giamatti and Paul Rudd are two Quebecois ne’er-do-wells who come up with a get rich quick scheme to sell Christmas trees in New York City. The only proble is that Rudd’s character has just stolen Giamatti’s wife. It’s director Phil Morrison’s first feature since his elegant, Ozu-esque Junebug earned Oscar love in 2006. RELATED: Paul Rudd and 16 Other Stars Who Don’t Age Before Midnight—Richard Linklater is on the verge of turning the ongoing saga of Jesse (Ethan Hawke) and Celine (Julie Delpy) into a narrative version of the Up Series. Nine years elapsed between 1995’s Before Sunrise and older, wiser follow-up 2004 Before Sunset. Now, nine years have passed again, and the third installment, Before Midnight, finds Jesse and Celine at another crossroads in their eternal “ships that pass in the night” relationship. This time the beautiful European setting where they exchange loving glances and probing conversation is Greece. Byzantium—Director Neil Jordan of Interview With the Vampire fame is training his lens on immortal bloodsuckers once again. Gemma Arterton and Saoirse Ronan play a mother and daughter on the run for possibly supernatural reasons. Prince Avalanche—After high-profile bro-comedy duds Your Highness and The Sitter, David Gordon Green goes back to his subtle indie roots. Reminiscent of the quiet lyricism of George Washington, Prince Avalanche stars Emile Hirsch and, once again, Paul Rudd as road workers repainting a highway in a fire-damaged forest during the summer of 1988. Adult World—Emma Roberts plays an aspiring poet who has to take a job at a local sex shop, Adult World, in order to make ends meet. The on thing keeping her going? A mentorship with professionally eccentric writer John Cusack. DOCUMENTARIES Elaine Stritch: Shoot Me—At 87, the Broadway legend is as irascible as ever. Now Tina Fey, Nathan Lane, Hal Prince and more weigh in on what Stritch’s career has meant to them. We’ll drink to that. Gasland Part II—The Oscar nominated 2011 documentary about hydraulic fracking gets a wider focus in this follow-up, showing how the energy extraction technique can cause earthquakes and even be used as part of anti-terror psychological operations tactics. Gore Vidal: The United States of Amnesia—Few Americans, period, have ever had a more interesting life than Gore Vidal. The famously revisionist—infamously prickly—author and critic was good friends with Amelia Earhart as a kid, sparred on-air with William F. Buckley, and wrote the book (Lincoln) that convinced Michele Bachmann to leave the Democratic party for the Republicans. The late Christopher Hitchens and more remember him as the quintessential man of letters. AND A BONUS EXPERIMENTAL FILM Star Wars Uncut—Project curator Casey Pugh put out a call for hundreds of Star Wars fans and amateur filmmakers to assemble 15-second snippets of Star Wars: Episode IV—A New Hope using mixed-media alternatives: animation, stop-motion, live-action reenactments, which when put together recreate George Lucas’ film in its entirety, just very, very differently. Follow Christian Blauvelt on Twitter @Ctblauvelt [Photo Credit: Tribeca Film Festival] From Our Partners:40 Most Revealing See-Through Red Carpet Looks (Vh1)15 Stars Share Secrets of their Sex Lives (Celebuzz)
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Elaine Stritch nursing broken hip
December 18, 2012 9:15am ESTThe 30 Rock star, 87, allegedly suffered the injury after taking a tumble while in New York. A source tells the New York Daily News, "She broke her hip. She was coming out of her hotel... and had a slight fall." According to the publication, Stritch has been resting up in her suite at posh hotel The Carlyle since the accident, which forced her to skip an appearance at the Big Apple premiere of Show Stopper: The Theatrical Life of Garth Drabinsky on Sunday night (16Dec12).
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'30 Rock': Chronicling the Final Chapter — Week 8
December 07, 2012 4:44am ESTIt's amazing that an episode of television can involve both the death of a major recurring character and the wedding of one of the series' stars and still feel like nothing happened. This week's 30 Rock, in the wake of Liz Lemon's marriage to hot dog vendor Criss Chros — an event that left me questioning the very fabric of my own world perspective — sets its gazers on two of the show's most toxic relationships: the wholly upsetting Liz and Jenna dynamic, a friendship-turned-enmity, and the far more interesting Jack and Colleen dynamic (Jack's mother, a role played to absolute perfection by Elaine Stritch). Although each of these storylines prevents a major change of course for its characters, neither seems to quite live up to potential. Jenna Maroney is a character on whom I soured long ago. Gone are the days of her humanity; 30 Rock has transformed what used to be a likable, pitiable person, overwrought by insecurity and self-destructive habits, into a nonredeemable monster. She exhibits no compassion for anyone, least of all Liz, her alleged best friend. And all in the name of what is supposed to be humor, although the laughs come infrequently with Jenna lately. She's just plain hard to watch*. But at the onset of this week's episode, "My Whole Is Thunder," Jenna seems like she might have an entirely sympathetic conflict: her grief over not having been invited to Liz's wedding. An offhand jab at the heroine for this offense early on in the episode seems to mislead the viewer into thinking that Jenna is simply hurt that her very best friend, her own maid of honor, chose not to include her in her day of matrimony. But this idea is quickly glossed over when the story turns focus on Jenna's ego. She simply needs to be the star of the show, the center of attention. She vies to reclaim this territory by staging her own "surprise wedding" during a Lifetime (.com... /garbagefile) ceremony recognizing Liz as a female role model, but Liz ambushes the ordeal by using her gift for lighting design to make Jenna look horrible and as such recoil into the shadows. Unimportant note: Oprah's friend Gayle is there. This show loves Oprah. Later on, Liz and Jenna have some words that are meant, presumably, to conclude their longstanding toxicity once and for all: Jenna admits that she is impressed by how far Liz has come and is as such overwhelmed by envy. It's not the sweet and sad kind of "I wish I could be like you" kind of situation; it's more like a horribly bitter "I want you to perish" thing, but it's as close as the late-era incarnation of Jenna is going to come to humanity. The pair makes up and resigns one another back into the sad positions they have for the past few seasons upheld. Liz and Jenna might be a horrible thing to watch, but at the very least, hopefully, we can just put their "friendship" out of our minds for the rest of the series. Meanwhile, Colleen Donaghy has returned to New York, once again wreaking havoc upon her son's psyche. It's the same old song and dance between them: she criticizes him for everything he does, he counteracts with a combative animosity. But it's all a pleasure to watch thanks entirely to Stritch, who has made Colleen an undeniable favorite among recurring 30 Rock characters. But... well... that's over. Because in this episode, as elderly parents are wont to do in later seasons of programs, Colleen dies. Her death, brought on by heart attack, follows a fight with Jack about the very nature of their relationship. He calls her overbearing, she calls him ungrateful, all that jazz. But in lieu of an ambulance, Colleen demands that Jack escort her to the hospital in a horse-drawn carriage, presumably well aware that she might die on the way but insistent that she spend her last moments by her son's side, telling him, privately, that she just wants him to be happy. We'll never know what Colleen's true intentions were in making this statement to Jack, but years of mommy issues have contorted Jack's brain to the point of automatically interpreting this to be one final passive-aggressive criticism; Jack reads Colleen's final words to mean that could hope only for happiness for her son as she believed him incapable of obtaining anything more. Not success, not greatness, not the superhuman stature for which Jack has always gunned. Just happiness. And of course, happiness is not even close to good enough for Jack. With that, he mourns his mother's dying opinion of him, reflecting on how all throughout his life, he understood her to never think he was good enough. But we know that's not true. We've seen Colleen open up just enough in the past to suggest how proud she truly is of her "good boy." Jack, with that contorted brain and all, can't fathom this as a truth, so he plummets down a rabbit hole of dejection following his mother's death, questioning his own merits and achievements. It would be interesting if we were to see more of this journey, more of Jack coming to terms with Colleen's last words to approach the eventual, happy realization that his mother's lifelong critique of him is what turned him into the triumphant, accomplished person he is, but we really only see the aftermath: Jack pronouncing his realization at his mother's funeral, and going on to give the best eulogy ever. Irish poems, woodwind performances, an appearance from Kermit the Frog... it really is quite magical. And then, not to be outdone again, Jenna takes the stage, using the platform of Colleen's funeral to finally have her own "surprise wedding." And Jack, acknowledging how irritated and appalled Colleen would have been with this atrocity, laughs heartily to himself and lets Jenna have her spotlight. Again, it seems like this episode should feel like a big one. Colleen dies, Jenna gets married. But it's moreover a filler episode. Anything not furthering Liz's story at this point will feel that way. But I suppose we do have to give Jenna her happy ending (if only to get her out of the way), and transport Jack to his eventual peace of mind as well. And as for Kenneth and Tracy... well, they hang out in an elevator with a drunk Florence Henderson this week. It's actually quite delightful. *Based on the novel Stone Cold Bummer by Manipulate. [Photo Credit: Ali Goldstein/NBC (2)] More: 'Parks and Recreation' Recap: Emotional Guardian 'Vampire Diaries' Recap: Tainted Love 'Grey's Anatomy' Recap: We Need to Talk About the Interns From Our Partners: Kate Middleton Pregnant: A Look Back at Famous Royal Baby Portraits (PHOTOS) Pregnant Kate Middleton Leaves Hospital After Four-Day Stay
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'30 Rock' Is Back, Nerds!: Everything You Need to Know Before the Final Season
October 04, 2012 1:42pm ESTOver the next few months, we’ll see new series soar, old series sour, and so much Jersey Shore madness, we’ll want to shower. Let’s face it: The Fall TV season is intimidating. With dozens of new and returning shows hitting our small screens, we know we have some big choices to make. So, to help you determine what to watch, we’re digging deep into the most notable series premiering this season. Where did each show leave off? Where is it headed? And who should you watch it with? Today, we're checking out the return of 30 Rock. But can it pick up the pieces? Series: 30 Rock Premiere Date: Thursday, Oct. 4 at 8 PM ET Number of Seasons: Entering its seventh — and final — season. Cast: The thinking woman's superhero Tina Fey leads a large, wildly talented, and eclectic ensemble that includes Words with Friends aficionado Alec Baldwin, song-and-dance woman Jane Krakowski, everyman Scott Adsit, human Muppet Jack McBrayer, human sad trombone John Lutz, slacker extraordinaire Judah Friedlander, token hottie Katrina Bowden, and the man who got you pregnant while you were reading this, Tracy Morgan. Synopsis: Liz Lemon (Fey) is the overworked, underappreciated head writer of a late night sketch comedy show called TGS on NBC (owned by the illustrious KableTown). She's surrounded by her merry (well, sometimes) band of misfits that includes her business tycoon boss Jack Donaghy (Baldwin), the self-absorbed cast members of the show, Tracy and Jenna (Morgan and Krakowski), and fellow loony coworkers like loyal page Kenneth (McBrayer) and intellectual hired goons Grizz and Dot Com (Grizz Chapman and Kevin Brown). Liz is trying to juggle her crazy work life in addition to her equally crazy love life, which has included dating the likes of a beeper salesman who appeared on To Catch a Predator, a handsome doctor with a hook for a hand, Wesley Snipes (not that Wesley Snipes), and a ficus plant that resembled Bon Jovi. Where We Left Off Last Season: Liz seemed to be on the baby track with her adorable, sane, IKEA-hating, hot dog-selling live-in boyfriend Criss (James Marsden, at long last getting the girl); Jack and Avery (Elizabeth Banks) became happily divorced; Jenna was blissfully engaged to Paul (Will Forte); Kenneth and Hazel (Kristen Schaal) all made us wildly uncomfortable with their first kiss; finally, Tracy chose Tyler Perry as his new role model in life. What Might Happen This Season: From the looks of that spectacular photo above, Jenna goes through with marrying Paul (who will presumably have the same dress as his bride). Whether or not Liz marries Criss is still up for debate, though pictures released from the set of 30 Rock this summer implied that they — or, at least, she — goes through with adopting a baby. Elsewhere, Jack might finally convince Nancy (Julianne Moore) to move out of Bah-stin and live with him in New York, where he's the CEO of KableTown, while Angie (Sherri Shepherd) and Tracy continue their television dominance. And Dr. Spaceman will, naturally, become the Surgeon General. You'll Like It If: You like quick-witted comedy that's as smart as it is silly. You Won't Like It If:You're a dummy, dummy. Emmy Love: Thus far, 30 Rock has received 57 Primetime Emmy nominations and have gone home with 14. From 2007 to 2009 it won the Emmy for Outstanding Comedy Series, the same three years Alec Baldwin won Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series. Tina Fey earned Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series in 2008 and Elaine Stritch won the 2007 Emmy for Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series for her performance as Jack's unrelentingly judgmental mother Colleen. Ratings: While 30 Rock has always been an awards show and critical darling, the series never went far beyond its cult status to become a major ratings player. In its first year, it averaged only 5.8 million viewers, while Season 6 had its lower viewership yet with 4.5 million. (It came in at a dismal #130 for the 2011-2012 season). 30 Rock had its biggest ratings year back in Season 3, averaging 7.5 million viewers. Still, despite low ratings, the popularity of Fey, the show's fervent fan base, and the fact that it's available on Watch Instantly on Netflix, kept the show alive. Key Soundbites: "I want to go to there!", "Blergh!", "HAM!", "What the what?", "Lizzing!" Key Facial Expression: Wine/Food Pairing:Whatever wine Angie throws in your face during an episode of Queen of Jordan, paired with Night Cheese. What to wear while watching it: A tux… it's on after six — what are you, a farmer? What to yell at the TV: "Good God, Lemon!" The Tao of Lemon: "I believe all anyone really wants in this life… is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich." Inspired Halloween costume: If you're single, go as Liz Lemon as Princess Leia on jury duty. If you're in a couple, go as James Franco and his body pillow Kamiko. Who to Watch it With: Your equally nerdy, comedy-loving friends. Who Not to Watch It With: Someone who doesn't know how to shotgun a pizza if the moment calls for it and/or a Canadian. If You Like This, You'll Love: DVD marathoning Arrested Development, The Larry Sanders Show, Parks and Recreation, and Community [Photo credit: NBC] More: 'Boardwalk Empire' Returns: A Deep Dive 'The New Normal': A Deep Dive Glee' Returns: A Deep Dive
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‘ParaNorman’ Director on Why the Animated Zombie Is ‘Universally Relatable’
August 20, 2012 7:25am ESTParaNorman may be a zombie movie full of stop-motion animated puppets, but that doesn’t mean it’s not incredibly human. Alvin tortures 11-year-old Norman Babcock (Kodi Smit-McPhee) for being different from his peers. Norman is not only obsessed with ghost lore, but can actually see the spirits of the dead. In fact, he never forgets to leave room on the couch for his deceased grandmother (Elaine Stritch) while his mother (Leslie Mann) and father (Jeff Garlin) are left to wonder why. Norman’s only refuge seems to be in his friendship with naïve Neil (Tucker Albrizzi). But when Norman’s uncle Prenderghast (John Goodman) reveals that a centuries-old witch curse is about to come true, Norman’s world is turned upside down as he tries to stop it from harming the town’s citizens. With the help of his sister, Courtney (Anna Kendrick), Norman fights a septet of zombies in hopes of protecting the town and restoring order. Hollywood.com recently sat down with ParaNorman’s director Sam Fell and writer Chris Butler to talk about how the story evolved from real life experiences (but no alien invasions), casting against type, and creating a film that is universally relatable. Check out ParaNorman, which hit theaters on Friday, August 17, and see our exclusive interview with the stars below. [Photo Credit: Focus Features] More: ‘ParaNorman’ Stars Anna Kendrick and Leslie Mann On All Things Paranormal — VIDEO New 'ParaNorman' Trailer is Funny, Spooky, and Sweet Animated Movies That Make Us Cry
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ParaNorman Review
August 17, 2012 9:02am ESTParaNorman dares to play to all audiences. Unraveling with a purposefully imperfect stop-motion technique the zombie adventure utilizes striking filmmaking styles sharp wit and scares that will give young ones the willies while tickling the nostalgia bone of any adult who used to stay up past his or her bedtime watching horror movies. The film isn't overtly for anyone; it's simply on a mission to tell a great story. ParaNorman succeeds: embracing a world where bullying is hitting an epidemic level and the social "outcasts" are lashing out the animated movie balances emotional messages with a wild visual ride. Quite out of the ordinary — the living dead being just the beginning. Norman (The Road's Kodi Smit-McPhee) is a middle schooler living on the fringes. He sits alone at lunch with his only real friend the chubby nerd Neil; he's routinely beat up by schoolyard bully Alvin (Christopher Mintz-Plasse); and the kicker: he sees ghosts — and no one believes him. Norman passes the time by watching old horror movies with the spirit of his Grandma (Elaine Stritch) much to the chagrin of his mother (Leslie Mann) and father (Jeff Garlin). Norman's dad is fed up with Norman's "disturbed" behavior but before he can ship his son off to psychiatric help all hell breaks loose in their hometown of Blithe Hollow. Failing to put together the cryptic words of town crazy Mr. Prenderghast and keep zombies at rest Norman goes on the run from the living dead who take to the streets of Blithe Hollow. Why? The mystery is revealed as Norman embarks on a Goonies-style race around Blithe Hollow. ParaNorman only loses footing when it's in explanation mode setting up the pieces of the puzzle that will play out in the movie's second half (not unlike most movies of the genre it's riffing on). But the introductions to the colorful cast and horror-inspired adventure brought to life with stunning animation and a muted color palette unlike most kid-friendly cartoons are an absolute treat. Norman is a three-dimensional character both in puppetry and human terms; Smit-McPhee's timid vocals realize the fear of the scary moments and work as perfect deadpan to ParaNorman's comedic asides. The movie advances its risk-taking to a whole other level in the finale offering an explosive crescendo that wows the senses and is sure to bring tears to the eyes. It's a marvel on a technical level — intricate landscapes shot with shallow focus all set to Jon Brion's rousing score — but in the end the film works because it's a great bold story. For a movie grounded in fear ParaNorman stands out as a movie for audiences young and old that's truly fearless. ="font-style:>
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‘ParaNorman’ Stars Anna Kendrick & Leslie Mann On All Things Paranormal — VIDEO
August 15, 2012 6:58am ESTWelcome to the town of Blithe Hollow! Everything about this place is focused on a famous witch-hunt that happened nearly 300 years ago, but when the area comes under siege again, it’s 11-year-old Norman Babcock (Kodi Smit-McPhee) who must save the day in the new animated film, ParaNorman. Being an outcast is nothing new for Norman, who is not only obsessed with ghost lore, but can actually see the spirits of the dead. In fact, he never forgets to leave room on the couch for his deceased grandmother (Elaine Stritch) while his mother (Leslie Mann) and father (Jeff Garlin) are left to wonder about the seemingly strange practice. School is no easier for Norman as he is constantly bullied by Alvin (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) and only finds refuge in his friendship with naïve Neil (Tucker Albrizzi). But when Norman’s uncle Prenderghast (John Goodman) reveals that a centuries-old witch curse is about to come true, Norman’s world is turned upside down as he tries to stop it from harming the town’s citizens. With the help of his sister, Courtney (Anna Kendrick), Norman fights a septet of zombies in hopes of protecting the town and restoring order. Hollywood.com recently sat down with Smit-McPhee, Mann, and Kendrick to get the scoop on doing improv with the cast, crushing on co-stars, and believing in paranormal activity. ParaNorman is in theaters on Friday, August 17, and be sure to check out our exclusive interview with the stars below. More: New 'ParaNorman' Trailer is Funny, Spooky, and Sweet Animated Movies That Make Us Cry Hear Casey Affleck and McLovin In the New 'ParaNorman' Trailer
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'Glee' Season Finale Recap: The Show Is Over, Say Goodbye
May 23, 2012 8:12am ESTFor a series slated for another season of confusing plots that will allow all of the New Directions’ graduates to arbitrarily pop back into our lives, Glee sure did make its third season finale feel like a series finale. It was practically a character solution sandwich made with sweet slices of Season 1 bread. We open with Will walking into the choir room where the original New Directions members (Rachel, Kurt, Merdedes, Tina, and Artie) are resurrecting their first ever “ghetto” performance: “Sit Down, You’re Rocking The Boat.” And while this recapper resisted the urge to shout “Sit down, you’re freaking out, Will Schuester” all of the Schue’s Season 3 sadness finally made a little more sense. These graduating seniors were the kids who resurrected the show choir, and that’s why they mean so much to him. Okay, I get it. I’ll stop going on infantile-themed tirades. However, I will hang on to the notion that moving your wedding to better fit the glee club’s schedule instead of your future wife’s was a moment of temporary insanity. Schue seals up his goodbye for the season with a sappy song that seems to be making even his costars a little uncomfortable. Let’s hope departing seniors does not spell more heartfelt droopy solos from Will. Kurt’s farewell comes courtesy of his two rocks, Blaine and Burt. Burt’s goodbye is significantly less moving than anything the character has done on three seasons of the series, but it still slightly worked because Mike O’Malley has magical properties that make him feel like he’s our television dad. After Burt bops around in a cutesy attempt at recreating the first time he caught Kurt dancing to “Single Ladies” with Tina and Brittany, Kurt has to make his peace with leaving Blaine behind because clearly, as soon as you graduate high school, the principal drags you out by your hair, kicks you in the keister and says, “Y’all don’t come back now, ya hear?” Is summer not a thing in Ohio? If so, please remind me to never move to the land of eternal fall and show choirs. Anyway, Blaine and Kurt decide they’ll figure it out and Kurt says something about becoming the couple from The Notebook, minus that pesky dementia problem. And again, I ask: Is this a season finale or a series finale? Why all the riding-off-into-the-sunset speeches? Of course, the series also has to get the rest of the glee club’s fates out of the way and Santana is our guide, walking us through the hall of everyone's accomplishments: Mercedes is a back-up singer studying at a UCLA extension, Mike got a scholarship to a Chicago dance school, and Brittany is failing and she’s going to be a Super Senior. (Which is treated pretty mildly considering that the girl just flunked her senior year of high school. Hilarious.) Santana is disappointed that everyone is off to some big city while she’s headed to be a cheerleader in Kentucky. Her mom, the also magical Gloria Estefan is the fairy godmother counterpart to Santana’s homophobic grandmother. EsteMom says she always knew Santana was a lesbian and she eventually parlays that into her blessing for Santana to skip out on college and move to New York to seek fame. So, there’s one Season 4 connection down. It’s a good thing Santana and Rachel became friends so they can completely unravel that and fight with only each other and not the other millions of desperate wannabe actresses in New York next season. Quinn sews up Puck’s story and makes us all a little confused about her own when she very clearly sits on Joe’s lap during a choir room performance and then winds up kissing Puck during a last minute study session for his make-up geography test. Joe is left staring into space in the choir room while Quinn’s magic kiss helps Puck pass his test and Rachel’s starry-eyed hormone-infused words (“You and Puck are meant to be”) resonate through Quinn’s pretty little head. Is this a cliffhanger? It doesn’t feel like one. It just seems like the final word on Quinn is that she still hasn’t learned how to stop kissing all of the boys. Next: We play the "Who's Not a Graduating Senior?"game.And in a fairly succinct clever little motion, the seniors sing “You Get What You Give” and by process of “These people are standing and those people are sitting” we learn that Blaine, Sam, Joe, Tina, Artie, Brittany, Sugar, and Rory are sticking around for the rebuilding phase of the now first-place New Directions. No one seems to notice the elephant in the room: Sam clearly looks like some 21 Jump Street twentysomething who’s gone undercover at a high school. He’s a junior? Right. But what about Finn? ...is the question that doesn’t seem to have as much weight as it should. In a brief cameo, James Lipton officiates Finn’s acting audition for the Actor’s Studio in New York and when we weren’t shown the precious footage of Finn royally botching Antony’s mutiny monologue from Julius Caesar, we knew he wasn’t getting in. His disjointed “solution time” continues when he asks Will to write “some son-I-never had or little-brother something” in his yearbook and instead, Will confesses that he planted pot on Finn in order to blackmail him into joining the glee club. And that’s when it becomes official: Finn is the human version of an elderly golden retriever. He’s just happy Schue is talking to him and they have a play fight because that’s what high school graduates do, of course. Like the perfect trusty pup, Finn leaves, telling Schue “You’re so much cooler than I ever thought.” Stockholm Syndrome says what? After graduation and the disappointment of finding out that both Kurt and Finn were rejected and only Rachel got into NYADA, it’s time for this dreaded wedding. (The one we hoped would just disappear by graduation like a pesky pimple that totally ruined my grad party pictures.) Luckily, Finn kidnaps Rachel and takes her to the train station, where he promptly breaks up with her, says he’s joining the army and shoves her on a train to New York. Sure, he says something sweet about how she deserves to be a star and he loves her enough to let her go do that, but let’s be honest: This was a good old fashioned heist. And now, Rachel is on a train halfway to the Big Apple, see. The episode ends with the entire glee club and Wemma waving at the train as Rachel sing-cries all the way to New York, where she arrives, dressed like some Doris Day reincarnate as she roams the streets of the big city with no particular direction. We get it. Three years of hard work have led little Rachel Berry to Broad-way (pronounced with the same affected accent as cam-er-ah), but did we have to jump back in time to 1962? Glee has spent so much time practically screaming at us “We’re modern, we are, we are!” that reverting back to this old-timey conclusion is cute and perhaps somewhat optimistic and glossy for a series finale, but totally out of sync with a series that promises to keep churning out seasons for the next couple of years. The final scenes also present a perplexing promise for next year: Either Glee is acknowledging that the series is in fact The Rachel Berry Show and they may as well stop fighting it, or it’s the series’ sunset moment for Rachel and next year will focus more heavily on the remaining New Directions. All of the chatter coming from the actors and Ryan Murphy seems to indicate that Lea Michele and Chris Colfer’s star power shall not be wasted come Season 4, and if we’re being frank, the other glee club members never broke out like Santana and Brittany because they don’t have the star quality of their seniors. I had hoped the season finale would wipe the Glee slate clean so the series could start anew upon its return, and in a way, that’s true. But the cleaners simply came through with a dusty old broom and scattered the pieces of the series to the edges of the room and under the rug. It’s still a bit of a mess. It’s almost impossible to fathom how the continued journey of the McKinley set will manage to squeeze its way into our television sets come fall. But no matter how it all shakes out, the show we’ve been watching for three years (however reluctantly post-Super-Bowl episode) is over. Say goodbye. But as always, before we say goodbye, we’ve got to get out our wiggles in the form of questions and stray observations: --Brittany refers to Joe as “she.” --Schuester sings a sappy song and as much as I hate his rapping, I agree with Quinn’s quip: I really wish he was rapping instead too. --Burt doesn't know who Elaine Stritch is. (She’s a Broadway legend, Papa Hummel.) --Kurt and Blaine both sawThe Notebook, which means they can handle long distance relationships. --Bruce Springsteen’s “Glory Days” is actually a terrible graduation song. It’s about people whose best days were in high school: “Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture/ A little of the glory of, well times slips away/ And leaves you with nothing, mister, but/ Boring stories of glory days.” What is it about Springsteen songs that seem to perplex people so? --Rachel goes to New York dressed like a crackerjack flight attendant and no one is scrambling to capture it with their smartphone cameras. --Nene Leakes wants to take down Figgins, for some unfounded reason, but no one really cares because we’re too busy trying to figure out how we got from minute one to the end of the episode. --Graduation is a New Directions concert with some faceless losers in the background. When did they suddenly become the stars of the school? Nationals does not a cool kid make. Follow Kelsea on Twitter @KelseaStahler. [Image: Fox] More: PSAs That Glee Should Actually Release Glee Recap: This is The Song That Doesn't End Glee Recap: Prom Heals All Wounds
