August 24, 2003 10:53am EST
Here are the awful facts: Ashton Kutcher plays Tom Stanisfield an apprehensive executive at a large publishing firm called Midnight Owl run by a ruthless megalomaniac who fires staff members for brewing a too-bitter batch of java. One day the boss's attractive daughter Lisa (Tara Reid) asks Tom to come over and babysit her father's pet owl so she can go to a party and he agrees misunderstanding that he has made a date with her. Poor Tom realizes the mix-up once he arrives at the mansion and is given instructions on how to care for the owl O.J. (named after the football player). He decides to go through with it anyway; after all a little butt kissing never hurt anyone right? Things quickly take a turn for the worse as one unwelcome visitor after another struts through the house: a drug dealer after the boss's son Red (Andy Richter) a neighbor with a gushing head wound from an accident (Ever Carradine) a former employer wanting her job back (Molly Shannon) to name a few. Oh and O.J. gets loose. The uninvited guests subsequently spend the entire movie crashing through tables and breaking antiques as they try to get the owl back while wimpy Tom stands at the center of it all pleading for everyone to "please leave."
My Boss's Daughter wrapped in June 2001 and for obvious reasons sat on a shelf for some time collecting dust over at Miramax. Perhaps the studio thought this would be a good time to capitalize on the popularity of Kutcher who is having a great year with his two series Fox's That '70s Show and the MTV prankster series Punk'd not to mention the commercial success of his last feature Just Married. What is so genuinely funny about Kutcher is that he delivers the stupidest lines with such earnestness that he is simply funny because he tries not to be. Here Kutcher outshines the material; his timing and delivery are on but the jokes just lack impact. It's sad to see such a truly funny actor stuck in such a truly bad movie. His co-star Reid looking a little over-baked is also a victim of this bad material. Remember her back when she impressed moviegoers with her performance as Bunny in the Coen brothers' 1998 comedy The Big Lebowski? While the actress has since shined in supporting roles that have overtly capitalized on her sexuality including Cruel Intentions and American Pie My Boss's Daughter is not clever enough to do that. Her character Lisa is supposedly a sharp businesswoman by day but by night she jumps up and down on her four-post bed while listening to the radio. Not even the talented supporting cast which includes Richter and Shannon draw laughs in this calamity of a movie.
With his younger brother Jerry and high school pal Jim Abrahams director David Zucker is responsible for helming a series of hilarious movies including the comedy Ruthless People and the spoofs Top Secret! and Airplane!. In 1988 Zucker helmed his first solo project The Naked Gun - From the Files of Police Squad! and its sequel but the quality of his material since has waned. His 1998 effort Baseketball was infantile and badly executed but My Boss's Daughter is just walk-out headache-inducing bad. The jokes are so lame that moviegoers will know the outcome before they even happen. Does scribe David Dorfman who penned the box office topper Anger Management expect the audience to laugh at the series of hackneyed sight gags like a mouse running up Tom's pant leg? And Zucker's trademark urination jokes only doom this comedy further. In one scene for example an intruder asserts his vigor by pissing all over the living room. Unless you are a three-year-old wrestling with the pressures of potty training how is that funny? There is also a weird and pointless running gag about characters saying benign things that then get misconstrued as racially biased. Let's just hope Zucker has better tricks up his sleeve for his upcoming spoof Scary Movie 3.
After surviving a devastating car accident following her first college party freshman Cassie (Melissa Sagemiller) falls into a coma and steps into a nightmare of otherworldly visitations. Haunted by a grim reaper of a far different kind her only hope is to cling to chance encounters with her lost love Sean (Casey Affleck) and the aid of a mysterious young priest named Father Jude (Luke Wilson). Cassie's malicious friends Matt (Wes Bentley) Annabel (Eliza Dushku) and the morose Raven (Angela Featherstone) seem intent on drawing her to the dark side but the spirit of her soul mate Sean guides her back to the world of the living.
Sagemiller (Get Over It) may be a fine actress but this film--her second full-length feature--isn't the one to prove it. Not that Sagemiller does a poor job but like most dull and stale horror movies the female lead isn't asked to do much other than look frightened and scream--a lot. Affleck (Good Will Hunting) Bentley (American Beauty) and Dushku (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back) are among the more talented actors of their generation but are completely wasted especially Affleck in his one-dimensional role. Wilson as Father Jude is the only character with an interesting part but unfortunately the good Father's development is stunted and incomplete leaving Wilson little to work with.
Steve Carpenter's first turn as a director leaves much to be desired. Of course Carpenter wrote the formulaic script so why shouldn't he be the one to helm it? One major flaw (and there are plenty to choose from) is that nearly half the movie is shot tight on the characters giving the audience a very myopic view. Even if that was intentional it certainly did nothing to heighten the tension (what little of it there was) in the movie. The flick's tagline "The World of the Dead and the World of the Living... are About to Collide" conveys the message of an epic struggle between the forces of evil and the forces of good--a struggle that never materializes. And the film's final message that love conquers all is the boring hackneyed truism that breaks the cliché camel's back.