Ever since they debuted, ESPN's SportsCenter commercials have always been neat slices of humor that allows the athletes to poke fun at their own image and pop culture. It's been nearly 20 years since they first debuted, so here are 10 of the best ones. It's not a true 1-10 ranking: I love them all so much I can't pick one as being better than another.
1. Roger Clemens: Still Got It
They had him prove that the 1994 hadn't affected his fastball in a most unusual way .
2. Stephen King: Human Generator
Anything with the King of Horror is going to be awesome.
3. David Ortiz: Betrayal
Oh, poor Wally the Green Monster...poor, poor Wally.
4. Albert Pujols: The Machine
Pujols does a hilarious take on The Terminator.
5. Steve Irwin: Gator Wrestling
May he rest in peace, but this is so hilarious.
6. Floyd Mayweather: Punching Bag
It's the last two punches that really make it.
7. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Directions
Forget about stopping somewhere and asking for different directions.
8. Peyton and Eli Manning: Family Tour
You KNOW this is how life was when they were growing up.
9. Maria Sharapova: Cafeteria
Oh, like you'd save the seat for Stuart Scott, right.
10. The Kid: Not Ready Yet
Highlighting the dangers of leaving school too early to go pro.
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The God of Legion secular Hollywood’s latest Biblically-inspired action flick is old-school an angry spiteful Almighty with a penchant for Old Testament theatrics. Fed up with humanity’s decadent warmongering ways He’s decided to pull the plug on the whole crazy experiment and start over from scratch.
Fortunately for us the God of Legion is also a rather lazy fellow. Instead of doing the apocalyptic work himself and wiping us out with a giant flood which worked perfectly well last time He opts to delegate the task to His army of angels — a questionable strategy that starts to fall apart when the archangel charged with leading the planned extermination Michael (Paul Bettany) refuses to comply.
Michael who unlike his boss still harbors affection for our sorry species abandons his post and descends to earth where inside the swollen belly of Charlie (Adrianne Palicki) an unwed mother-to-be working as a waitress in an out-of-the-way diner sits humanity’s lone hope for survival. Why is this particular baby so important? Is it the one destined to lead us to victory over Skynet? Heaven knows — Legion reveals little details its script devoid of actual scripture. What is clear is that God’s celestial hitmen want the kid whacked before it’s born.
But Michael won’t let humanity fall without a fight. Armed with a Waco-sized arsenal of assault weapons he hunkers down with the diner’s patrons a largely superfluous collection of thinly-sketched caricatures from various demographic groups led by Dennis Quaid as the diner’s grizzled owner Tyrese Gibson as a hip-hop hustler and Lucas Black as a simple-minded country boy.
Together they mount a heroic final stand against hordes of angels who’ve taken possession of “weak-willed” humans turning kindly old grandmas and mild-mannered ice cream vendors into snarling ravenous foul-mouthed beasts. They descend upon the ramshackle diner in a series of full-frontal assaults commanded by the archangel Gabriel (Kevin Durand) the George Pickett of End of Days generals.
Beneath its superficial religious facade Legion is really just a run-of-the-mill zombie flick a Biblical I Am Legend. Bettany an actor accustomed to smaller dramatic roles in films like A Beautiful Mind and The Da Vinci Code looks perfectly at ease in his first major action role wielding machine guns and bowie knives with equal aplomb. Conversely first-time director Scott Stewart a former visual effects artist does little to prove himself worthy of such a promotion serving up some impressive CGI work but not much else worthy of note.
Has Jennifer Aniston's dream of becoming a baby mama finally come true? Close ... but not quite.
Jason Bateman will impregnate Aniston this spring in The Baster. The fertility-themed romantic comedy from Mandate Pictures and Blades of Glory directors Will Speck and Josh Gordon will shoot later this year in NY from a screenplay by Allan Loeb.
Adapted from a short story by Jeffrey Eugenides which was published in The New Yorker, the film centers on best friends Wally and Kassie. When Wally learns that Kassie is planning to get pregnant via artificial insemination, he replaces the donor's semen with his own and must live with the secret that he is the father of her child.
READ: Baster, The New Yorker, June 17, 1996
Bona Fide Productions' Albert Berger and Ron Yerxa will produce. Mandate president Nathan Kahane will executive produce along with Aniston and her Echo Films partner Kristin Hahn.
As Variety points out, the project marks the second artificial insemination comedy to get the green light in recent weeks. CBS Films is moving forward with the Plan B starring Jennifer Lopez. Last year's Tina Fey/Amy Poehler comedy Baby Mama, also about a fertility-challenged woman, was a box-office success earning $64.3 million worldwide.
CHECK OUT: Hollywood Wiretap
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