From record-breaking X-Factor finalists to obscure indie-rockers, here's a look at five song titles which aren't exactly short on confidence.
One Direction – "Best Song Ever"
The inescapable One Direction appeared to be setting themselves up for one mighty fall when they announced the name of their current single. However, the horrendously tattooed boyband were in fact referring to a song that they danced to with a girl but promptly forgot and not their own "Baba O'Riley"-borrowing track.
The Tamperer featuring Maya - "If You Buy This Record, Your Life Will Be Better"
After scoring a UK number one hit with "Feel It," Italian dance outfit The Tamperer resorted to the kind of wild claims you'd expect from a spiritual charlatan in an effort to repeat its success with the follow-up. The number of people whose life benefitted from buying an unashamedly camp Madonna-sampling slice of disco-pop is still unknown.
Sparks – "The Number One Song In Heaven"
Never exactly the most shy and retiring act at the best of times, oddball duo Ron and Russell Mael took their self-belief to new heights in 1979 by claiming that this Giorgio Moroder-produced single was at the top of the hit parade in the promised land. The best it managed in this world was No.5 in Ireland.
Beth J - "The Greatest Song Ever Written"
Uploaded onto YouTube by Beth J, "The Greatest Song Ever Written" is a tongue-in-cheek celebration of the same four chords which can be found in a multitude of pop hits ranging from the sublime (TLC's "No Scrubs") to the ridiculous (Rebecca Black's "Friday").
Does It Offend You, Yeah? – "Epic Last Song"
Acknowledging the unwritten golden rule that an album's final track must be the most epic, British dance-punk outfit Does It Offend You, Yeah? ramped up their anthemic tendencies to live up to the title of the closer from 2008 debut You Have No Idea What You're Getting Yourself Into.
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The vampire Lestat de Lioncourt (Stuart Townsend) wakes from a hundred-year sleep to the rock 'n' roll present day and likes what he sees and hears. Tired of the vampire's solitary life he becomes the frontman for an unknown rock band and transforms it into the latest greatest thing gaining the adulation of millions. He also decides to disregard the unspoken rule that vampires must hide away from the rest of world and writes songs encoded with specifics of the secret life of vampires. As expected Lestat's lyrics draw the attention of both the bloodsuckers who want to destroy him and the human vampire scholars (called the Talamasca) who want to study him. One young Talamascan student Jesse Reeves (Marguerite Moreau) becomes obsessed with Lestat after reading his journal from the 1800s. She learns that Lestat had a brief encounter with Queen Akasha (Aaliyah) the most ancient and dangerous vampire to ever exist and the mother of all who walk the Earth in search of blood. He gets his chance to meet Akasha again when his music awakens her from an ancient slumber. She rises and seeks out Lestat to become her king and join her in ruling the world.
The film truly belongs to Townsend and fans of the Anne Rice's novels will be happy to know he completely embodies the charismatic vampire Lestat. The little-known Irish actor who starred in last year's indie About Adam with Kate Hudson rules the screen whenever he is on it and luckily he's on it quite a lot. He's especially powerful when he is in rock star mode. Although Moreau's Jesse is fairly one dimensional she comes alive in her scenes with Townsend. Let's hope they keep asking him to play Lestat (when and if they make any more films from Rice's vampire novels) and next time give him an actress he can have some real chemistry with. The late R&B singer Aaliyah made her second film appearance in Damned as the queen. Even though she is only in the film a short time she possesses a certain charm as the ancient and evil Queen Akasha and makes a great first impression by destroying a vampire coven. Yet her acting skills are just not up to par with the rest of the cast including the charismatic Vincent Perez as the vampire Marius and Lena Olin as the kind-hearted vampire Maharet.
Damned was set to be released in the fall of last year but word of mouth had the film destined for the video shelf before it even made it to the big screen. Then tragedy struck and as the news of Aaliyah's untimely death echoed throughout the world of entertainment Warner Bros. wisely decided to hold onto it and release it in theaters at a more favorable time knowing there would be an audience who'd want to see the singer's last film. Yet for all the bad press surrounding it Damned actually pleasantly surprises you due largely in part to Townsend's mesmerizing performance. Michael Rymer's direction is not a masterpiece of filmmaking by any stretch of the imagination but it has a certain MTV quality about it which makes it appealing. That same quality however also makes it too slick glossing over the meatier parts of Rice's novel making the dialogue and action trite and sometimes downright silly. Come to think of it the 1994 Interview With the Vampire also suffered from the same thing. Maybe translating Rice's words is harder than it looks.