Date Movie doesn’t have a story as much as it does a series of miss-or-really-miss spoofs of date movies and cultural hodgepodge; the thin “story” is just enough to keep the film from being a series of vignettes. Julia (Alyson Hannigan) who makes Big Momma look little is determined to find her Prince Charming instead of wasting away in her lonely apartment. She briefly finds him in Grant Fonckyerdoder (Adam Campbell) before losing him (so ends any originality). So she visits a date doctor named Hitch (Tony Cox)—yes that movie—who takes her to get barbaric liposuction. Then she meets Grant again they fall in love and she meets his parents Mr. and Mrs. Fonckyerdoder (Fred Willard and Jennifer Coolidge) making for a Meet the Fockers spoof (the biggest spoof-ee). Julia has competition from Grant’s ex (Sophie Monk) allowing for more film references but ultimately they live clumsily ever after.
It’s hard to see through the utter mess that is Date Movie enough to evaluate its acting but Hannigan seems to be at least serviceable. Although it seems like “acting” here means merely nauseating the audience enough so they can taste the vomit but manage to hold it in. Like when she licks Tony Cox’s face for 15 or so seconds—in slow motion… It’s more Fear Factor than Inside the Actor’s Studio. As for Campbell Date Movie is his first. There’s no frame of reference whatsoever and yet it’s still clear that he’s above this. He almost seems like a classically trained actor who’s forced to stretch his comfort zone by performing horrendous impressions such as the orgasm scene from When Harry Met Sally. The lone semblance of a bright spot comes from Coolidge impersonating Barbra Streisand’s Roz Focker. Again way too classy for this Movie.
Date Movie's trailer brags “From two of the six writers of Scary Movie...” After seeing it you can’t help but muse “It took two writers for that movie?!” The writers in question are Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer who also co-directed. The film should at the very least be an appetizer for Scary Movie 4’s upcoming entrée (to which they did not contribute) but with no hint of continuity or a passable storyline it even fails that menial task—and where the Scary Movies have succeeded is in the satisfactory stories that surround the film references. The biggest problem though lies in the spoofs: While the rules mandate that only chick flicks/date movies can be parodied the writer/directors abandon their target audience by referencing movies like When Harry Met Sally. Luckily there’s always an audience member who feels the need to solve the conundrum aloud.
Based on Chris Van Allsburg's enchanting award winning children's book the story begins on a snowy Christmas Eve where a doubting young boy lies in his bed waiting to hear the sound he doesn't know if he believes in anymore: the tinkle of Santa's sleigh bells. What he hears instead however is the thunderous roar of an approaching train where no train should be: it's the Polar Express. Rushing outside in only a robe and slippers the incredulous boy meets the train's conductor who urges him to come onboard. Suddenly the boy finds himself embarking on an extraordinary journey to the North Pole with a number of other children--including a girl who has the tools to be a good leader but lacks confidence; a know-it-all boy who lacks humility; and a lonely boy who just needs to have a little faith in other people to make his dreams come true. Together the children discover that the wonder of Christmas never fades for those who believe. As the conductor wisely advises "It doesn't matter where the train is going. What matters is deciding to get on." Gives ya goose bumps doesn't it?
Talk about a vanity project for Tom Hanks. He portrays several of the characters in the film--the conductor the hobo who mysteriously appears and disappears on the Polar Express the boy's father. Wait isn't that Hanks playing Santa Claus as well? But if anyone can pull off some cheesy dialogue about the spirit of Christmas this Oscar-winning actor can. Interestingly the film also incorporates adults to play the children (none of the characters have names actually) with Hanks as the Hero Boy; Hanks' Bosom Buddies pal Peter Scolari as the Lonely Boy; The Matrix Revolutions Nona Gaye as the Hero Girl; and veteran voice actor Eddie Deezen as the Know-It-All Boy. Everyone does a good job but trying to make CGI-created people seem real is a difficult undertaking. With
The Polar Express director Robert Zemeckis has created an entirely new way to do computer animation called "performance capture." "[It's a process that] offers a vivid rendering of the Van Allsburg world while infusing a sense of heightened realism into the performances. It's like putting the soul of a live person into a virtual character " visual effects wizard and longtime Zemeckis collaborator Ken Ralston explains. Oh is that all? Problem is no matter how hard they try it doesn't work--not completely. Similar to flaws in the 2001 Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within virtual characters just can't convey human emotion as well as real-life actors plain and simple. And with a touching story like Polar Express that real-life connection is missed at times.
Of course like the images in the book it's still an exceptionally beautiful film to watch. Zemeckis enjoys being a filmmaking innovator. He charmed audiences with a lively blend of live action and manic animation in the 1988 classic action comedy Who Framed
Roger Rabbit? and then wowed them with the 1994 Oscar-winning Forrest Gump blending authentic archival footage of historic figures with the actors. Now with The Polar Express it's this performance capture which gives Zemeckis unlimited freedom in creating the world he wants. And boy does he make use of it. True the story is a classic but the director knows he has to make The Polar Express exciting for the tykes-- simply riding around in a train to North Pole without any thrills certainly wouldn't be enough for the ADD world we live in. To accomplish this the film is padded with exhilarating scenes such as the train going on a giant roller coaster ride through the mountains and across frozen lakes (too bad Warner Bros. doesn't have a theme park) and the boy's race across the top of the snowy Polar Express. Even the North Pole is a booming magical Mecca filled with some pretty boisterous (and weird looking) elves who like to send Santa off in style Christmas Eve--watch out for Aerosmith's Steven Tyler making a cameo as a jammin' elf. Ho-ho-ho!
With college behind them East Great Falls High School alums Jim (Jason Biggs) and Michelle (Alyson Hannigan) decide the time is ripe for marriage. After an embarrassing restaurant proposal that involves under-the-table fellatio and a missing ring Michelle accepts and sets her sights on the perfect wedding ceremony. Jim and his best buds Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas) and Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas) decide to leave Stifler (Seann William Scott) in the dark about the upcoming nuptials to avoid any possible calamities but it doesn't take long for the Stifmeister to figure things out. Stifler the only one of the gang who has not matured since high school lays on the charm--and the Lacoste sweaters--and quickly gains acceptance from Michelle's stuffy parents and her attractive sister Cadence (January Jones). The film basically revolves around Jim trying to turn Michelle's dream wedding into a reality while Stifler unintentionally foils his friend's every effort. American Wedding follows the same formula as its two predecessors and while there are some really funny gags here you can spot their setup from a mile away. When Stifler for example accidentally feeds Michelle's wedding band to a dog waits on it to pooh it out then scoops up the jewelry with a paper doily we are hardly flabbergasted when it is later mistaken for a truffle. And that just about sums up the movie: funny but formulaic.
In the first two American Pie movies Biggs's character Jim was always a key comedic player. For instance who could forget his Internet snafu with Nadia the foreign exchange student or the Crazy Glue incident at the beach house? But while American Wedding is all about Jim and Michelle's wedding Biggs and Hannigan take a back seat to the laughs here: they're the stressed-out grown-ups. Also turning in a more muted performance is Nicholas as pal Kevin who doesn't appear to have a purpose at all in this installment--although he does provide a bit of comic (albeit non-speaking) relief during Stifler's botched attempt at a bachelor party. Contrary to Jim Michelle and Kevin who have blossomed into somewhat dependable adults Scott's character Stifler has degenerated. Stifler is more crass and obnoxious than ever perhaps even a little too over-the-top. The actor whose performance stands out the most in this comedy is Thomas in the role of Finch. Thomas has taken the character's haughtiness and peculiarity to a new level fine tuning Finch's attributes and stylishly transforming him from a high school geek to a cool brainy college graduate. Eugene Levy who is back in the role of Jim's overly involved father but his shtick has become redundant. His only purpose in the films is to walk in on his son at every inopportune moment.
All three films in the American Pie series were penned by screenwriter Adam Herz and produced by Paul and Chris Weitz--who also served as directors on the original--but they have all gone through different directors; the J B Rogers-directed American Pie 2 and now American Wedding helmed by Jesse Dylan (How High). Like the second installment American Wedding has its moments and there are a handful of truly funny ones including a scene in which Jim shaves his pubic area and dumps the hair out the window where it blows towards a group of unsuspecting guests (and the cake). But unlike this particular instance most of the jokes suffer from overkill; the cameras keep rolling long after the yarn stops being funny. Others are stereotypical like Stifler's dance-off with a patron in a gay club while others including a midnight rendezvous in a dark hallway closet are predictable. But even though the film revolves around the now all-too-familiar characters Herz has matured them in a way that still makes them both amusing and endearing. Don't however look for Oz (Chris Klein) Heather (Mena Suvari) Vickie (Tara Reid) or Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth). The filmmakers believe these characters weren't needed since the story wasn't about them anymore but it would have been nice to mention them and what they were up to.
Supermom Claire (Michelle Pfeiffer) and her geneticist husband Norman (Harrison Ford) are adapting to their only daughter's departure to college when Claire begins sensing an unearthly presence in the couple's lakeside Vermont dream home. Is she losing her marbles or is that the spirit of a beautiful young woman she keeps glimpsing? To say any more (as the too-explicit ad campaign does) would spoil some delicious twists.
The toplining Ford is his usual solid self in a role that plays cleverly on his familiar persona but the picture is Pfeiffer's from beginning to end. She delivers one of her most pleasing performances nicely disarming audience doubts about the story's supernatural elements with some judicious eye-rolling and embarrassed frowning -- her character is so painfully aware that what she's saying sounds crazy how can we possibly doubt her? Among the low-key supporting cast Joe Morton ("Terminator 2") stands out as an amiably down-to-earth psychiatrist.
Robert Zemeckis ("Forrest Gump") takes Clark Gregg's highly derivative haunted house script and pours on the Hitchcockian visual flourishes unapologetically pilfering from the Master's "Rear Window" and "Psycho " among others. His extended homage results in scene after scene of almost unbearable tension as the audience waits for the next shock. There's some clunky storytelling in the first section but the all-suspense second half more than makes up for it with some classic work including what seems destined to go down in movie history as "the bathtub scene."