"Take some of that makeup off yo' eyes!" the caller shouts. But Joan Koplan of JKK Security in Ringgold, Georgia isn't having any of it. "Stupid ass," she yells before deleting the voicemail. And so begins the second season of AMC's reality series Small Town Security, a look into the lives of a mystery-solving, wild and ca-razy bunch of security professionals just trying to get by living the dream. But — as our exclusive clip shows below — this small town business is anything but ordinary. And small towns aren't without big dramas (something AMC is quite the expert on).
The series follows Joan and her motley crew of misfits: her business is family owned and operated, but Koplan is a woman who wears many hats — including public access television show host. But she isn't the only one who crams several lives into one. First, there's Joan's husband, Irwin (also known as The Captain); an office manager/detective/process serve Brian Taylor; secretary/licensed cosmetologist Christa Stephens; a 14-year-old chihuahua named Lambchop, and Dennis Croft: Joan's live-in lieutenant and co-host, who is not only hopelessly in love with her, but is also a female-to-male transitioned transsexual formally named Denise.
Between Joan's freewheeling mouth and her team's fast-and-loose way of working, it's no surprise someone turned them into a reality show. Check out the clip below and see for yourself.
Small Town Security airs its second season Thursdays at 10 PM starting May 9 on AMC. Will you be tuning in? Let us know in the comments below.
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For those not living under a rock, Robin Roberts' battle with a rare blood disorder called MDS has been a public and courageous one. So when Roberts made her return to red carpet duty for tonight's Oscars, most people were incredibly supportive — and many more, still, were proud of her choice to wear her hair au natural.
Unfortunately, there are still rocks out there under which a special brand of buffoon live. And, man, do they love social media! Taking their cluelessness on parade, these superficial ignoramouses seemed to miss the memo on ABC's Oscar anchor. Feel like getting angry? Read on to see just how offensive and awful the Internet can be. I'm sorry.
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Woah, Robin Roberts! Probably should have kept the hair. Looking like a cancer patient.
— Tyler Simpson (@Braintasm) February 25, 2013
I think Robin Roberts would be terrifying even if she had hair. #oscars
— Charlie Brown (@howihatehim) February 25, 2013
Eww, robin Roberts couldn't even put on hair??
— Troy Powell (@tjpowell82) February 25, 2013
I am not a fan of Robin Roberts short hair choice. Its a tough hairstyle to pull off as a woman. #Oscars2013 #BestDressed
— Brok Griffith (@plocktor) February 25, 2013
What's up with Robin Roberts' head. It's the oscars sweetheart, get some hair.
— Richard Fassett (@ClaudetteRubin) February 25, 2013
@mygeektime eww, Robin Roberts couldn't even put on hair?
— Troy Powell (@tjpowell82) February 25, 2013
robin roberts. one word "damn". she looks like a man. girl you gotta stop working on those arms and start working on your hair #Oscars
— Desiree Meg (@Mokha_Dee) February 25, 2013
Who did Robin Roberts hair? Looks like shit #OscarRedCarpet
— Dixie Lynn (@dixielynnelle) February 25, 2013
@jimnorton someone should tell Robin Roberts she looks horrible with short hair. I have no idea why she would shaved it
— Brandon Irwin (@BrandnIrwin) February 25, 2013
Sorry Robin Roberts, Charlize owned the short hair look tonight. #RedCarpet #oscars
— WristitRisto (@WristitRisto) February 25, 2013
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[Photo Credit: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images]
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Oscars 2013 Special Coverage
Oscars 2013 Red Carpet Arrivals: PICS!
• We Predict the Winners: Do You Agree?• 15 Oscar-Winning Nude Scenes• The Worst Best Picture Winner Ever• Oscar's Problem With Pretty Boys• Why Stars Should Fear Seth MacFarlane• Oscars 2013: The Full Winners List• The Winner, According to You
Robert Zemeckis is a blockbuster director at heart. Action has never been an issue for the man behind Back to the Future. When he puts aside the high concept adventures for emotional human stories — think Forrest Gump or Cast Away — he still goes big. His latest Flight continues the trend revolving the story of one man's fight with alcoholism around a terrifying plane crash. Zemeckis expertly crafts his roaring centerpiece and while he finds an agile performer in Denzel Washington the hour-and-a-half of Flight after the shocking moment can't sustain the power. The "big" works. The intimate drowns.
Washington stars as Whip Whitaker a reckless airline pilot who balances his days flying jumbo jets with picking up women snorting lines of cocaine and drinking himself to sleep. Although drunk for the flight that will change his life forever that's not the reason the plane goes down — in fact it may be the reason he thinks up his savvy landing solution in the first place. Writer John Gatins follows Whitaker into the aftermath madness: an investigation of what really happened during the flight Whitaker's battle to cap his addictions and budding relationships that if nurtured could save his life.
Zemeckis tops his own plane crash in Cast Away with the heart-pounding tailspin sequence (if you've ever been scared of flying before Flight will push into phobia territory). In the few scenes after the literal destruction Washington is able to convey an equal amount of power in the moments of mental destruction. Whitaker is obviously crushed by the events the bottle silently calling for him in every down moment. Flight strives for that level of introspection throughout eventually pairing Washington with equally distraught junkie Nicole (Kelly Reilly). Their relationship is barely fleshed out with the script time and time again resorting to obvious over-the-top depictions of substance abuse (a la Nic Cage's Leaving Las Vegas) and the bickering that follows. Washington's Whitaker hits is lowest point early sitting there until the climax of the film.
Sharing screentime with the intimate tale is the surprisingly comical attempt by the pilot's airline union buddy (Bruce Greenwood) and the company lawyer (Don Cheadle) to get Whitaker into shape. Prepping him for inquisitions looking into evidence from the wreckage and calling upon Whitaker's dealer Harling (John Goodman) to jump start their "hero" when the time is right the two men do everything they can to keep any blame being placed upon Whitaker by the National Transportation Safety Board investigators. The thread doesn't feel relevant to Whitaker's plight and in turn feels like unnecessary baggage that pads the runtime.
Everything in Fight shoots for the skies — and on purpose. The music is constantly swelling the photography glossy and unnatural and rarely do we breach Washington's wild exterior for a sense of what Whitaker's really grappling with. For Zemeckis Flight is still a spectacle film with Washington's ability to emote as the magical special effect. Instead of using it sparingly he once again goes big. Too big.
A kids’ movie without the cheeky jokes for adults is like a big juicy BLT without the B… or the T. Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted may have a title that sounds like it was made up in a cartoon sequel laboratory but when it comes to serving up laughs just think of the film as a BLT with enough extra bacon to satisfy even the wildest of animals — or even a parent with a gaggle of tots in tow. Yes even with that whole "Afro Circus" nonsense.
It’s not often that we find exhaustively franchised films like the Madagascar set that still work after almost seven years. Despite being spun off into TV shows and Christmas specials in addition to its big screen adventures the series has not only maintained its momentum it has maintained the part we were pleasantly surprised by the first time around: great jokes.
In this third installment of the series – the trilogy-maker if you will – directing duo Eric Darnell and Tom McGrath add Conrad Vernon (director Monsters Vs. Aliens) to the helm as our trusty gang swings back into action. Alex the lion (Ben Stiller) Marty the zebra (Chris Rock) Gloria the hippo (Jada Pinkett Smith) and Melman the giraffe (David Schwimmer) are stuck in Africa after the hullaballoo of Madagascar 2 and they’ll do anything to get back to their beloved New York. Just a hop skip and a jump away in Monte Carlo the penguins are doing their usual greedy schtick but the zoo animals catch up with them just in time to catch the eye of the sinister animal control stickler Captain Dubois (Frances McDormand). And just like that the practically super human captain is chasing them through Monte Carlo and the rest of Europe in hopes of planting Alex’s perfectly coifed lion head on her wall of prized animals.
Luckily for pint-sized viewers Dubois’ terrifying presence is balanced out by her sheer inhuman strength uncanny guiles and Stretch Armstrong flexibility (ah the wonder of cartoons) as well as Alex’s escape plan: the New Yorkers run away with the European circus. While Dubois’ terrifying Doberman-like presence looms over the entire film a sense of levity (which is a word the kiddies might learn from Stiller’s eloquent lion) comes from the plan for salvation in which the circus animals and the zoo animals band together to revamp the circus and catch the eye of a big-time American agent. Sure the pacing throughout the first act is practically nonexistent running like a stampede through the jungle but by the time we're palling around under the big top the film finds its footing.
The visual splendor of the film (and man is there a champion size serving of it) the magnificent danger and suspense is enhanced to great effect by the addition of 3D technology – and not once is there a gratuitous beverage or desperate Crocodile Dundee knife waved in our faces to prove its worth. The caveat is that the soundtrack employs a certain infectious Katy Perry ditty at the height of the 3D spectacular so parents get ready to hear that on repeat until the leaves turn yellow.
But visual delights and adventurous zoo animals aside Madagascar 3’s real strength is in its script. With the addition of Noah Baumbach (Greenberg The Squid and the Whale) to the screenwriting team the script is infused with a heightened level of almost sarcastic gravitas – a welcome addition to the characteristically adult-friendly reference-heavy humor of the other Madagascar films. To bring the script to life Paramount enlisted three more than able actors: Vitaly the Siberian tiger (Bryan Cranston) Gia the Leopard (Jessica Chastain) and Stefano the Italian Sealion (Martin Short). With all three actors draped in European accents it might take viewers a minute to realize that the cantankerous tiger is one and the same as the man who plays an Albuquerque drug lord on Breaking Bad but that makes it that much sweeter to hear him utter slant-curse words like “Bolshevik” with his usual gusto.
Between the laughs the terror of McDormand’s Captain Dubois and the breathtaking virtual European tour the Zoosters’ accidental vacation is one worth taking. Madagascar 3 is by no means an insta-classic but it’s a perfectly suited for your Summer-at-the-movies oasis.
Top Story: Original MTV VJ 'J.J.' Jackson Dies
John 'J.J.' Jackson, one of the first MTV on-air personalities, died Wednesday of an apparent heart attack while driving home from dinner in Los Angeles, The Associated Press reports. He was 62. Jackson, a longtime radio station disc jockey, first gained prominence while working at WBCN in Boston in the late 1960s, then moved to Los Angeles in 1971 where he took on the afternoon radio slot at KLOS. He later left for New York and MTV, where he worked for the cable music network in its first 5 formative years. Jackson later returned to radio in Los Angeles and most recently, was hosting an afternoon slot at L.A.'s KTWV. "He was a big part of the channel's success and we are sure he is in the music section of heaven, with lots of his friends and heroes," MTV said in statement. "He will be greatly missed."
Zeta-Jones Wants Her Privacy
Catherine Zeta-Jones lost the final round Thursday in her bid to stop a businessman from running his information technology business from a base close to the actress's new luxury home in her Welsh hometown. According to the AP, Zeta-Jones' parents, Dai and Pat Jones, wrote to the council to express extreme "concern and alarm" about Gywnn's business, adding that visits by staff members working for the IT firm would jeopardize their privacy. But Gwynn pointed out that his property generates far less interest than the Zeta-Jones mansion, which has already attracted throngs of tourists flocking to see the property the local celebrity and her husband Michael Douglas will call home on future visits to United Kingdom principality. Swansea Councilor Des Thomas, meanwhile, pointed out that the Zeta-Jones mansion was close to a cricket club and other public facilities, and said the family should have built their home in the more secluded town of Llandeilo if privacy was a concern.
Trumps Wants To Trademark "Your Fired!"
Real-estate mogul and reality TV star Donald Trump is seeking to trademark the phrase "You're fired!" According to Reuters, Trump has filed a trademark application for the phrase, which he uses when dismissing contestants on NBC's The Apprentice. Trump said he intended to display "You're Fired" on games and casino services, and "You're Fired! Donald J. Trump" on clothing. But Trump might have competition: According to the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office's Web site, three other applications for "You're fired" have been filed.
The Apprentice's Omarosa Claims Racism
Speaking of being "fired," The Apprentice contestant Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth, to whom The Donald directed the very phrase he wants to patent, is negotiating a book deal about her experience on the show, the AP reports. Manigault-Stallworth, a former political consultant, has since said her experience showed the problems of racism in corporate America. After her "firing," the 30-year-old made claims that former contestant Ereka Vetrini had called her the "n-word"--allegations vehemently denied by Vetrini, executive producers Mark Burnett and Trump. "Believe me, I know what I experienced," Manigault-Stallworth said in an interview with the AP. "Those women called me every name in the book on-camera. Imagine what they did off-camera. Imagine what they would say in the corridors."
Janet Jackson To Visit Dave Letterman
CBS announced Thursday that Janet Jackson will visit the The Late Show With David Letterman on Mar. 29 in what will mark her first network television interview since the singer's breast-baring antics at the Super Bowl halftime show. Jackson is launching a whirlwind publicity tour promoting her new album, Damita Jo. She will perform on ABC News' Good Morning America March 31, will appear on Fox's On Air With Ryan Seacrest April 2 and is scheduled to host NBC's Saturday Night Live April 10. The singer will also be musical guest.
Affleck To Co-Host Live With Regis and Kelly
Ben Affleck will co-host with Regis Philbin on the syndicated morning talk show Live With Regis and Kelly Monday. The actor will be filling in for Kelly Ripa, who's on vacation. According to AP Radio, Affleck, who stars in the upcoming Kevin Smith drama Jersey Girl, recently told reporters that what happened to him and former fiancée Jennifer Lopez was like many of his worst fears coming true all at once. "What if something bad happens? What if everybody hates my movie? What if I have some public embarrassments in my personal life? Then it all happens in a month, you know, and it turns out like, 'All right, well, it's not the end of the world.'"
Comedy Central Re-Ups Jon Stewart Through 2008
Comedy Central announced Thursday it has re-upped Jon Stewart's Daily Show for four more years. "A lot of people like to get out when their show's still going well," said Stewart, who stars and serves as an executive producer and writer on the mock newscast. "This gives me the opportunity to beat this thing into the ground." The show, which has won several Emmys and a Peabody Award for its yearlong "Indecision 2000" political coverage, premiered in 1996 with host Craig Kilborn. Stewart took over the program in January 1999. This year, the show's viewership has averaged an all-time high of 1 million for the weeknight 11 p.m. EST slot.
Morgan Freeman To Drive Indy Pace Car
Morgan Freeman, who played the gentle chauffeur opposite Jessica Tandy in the 1989 film Driving Miss Daisy, was selected Wednesday to drive the Chevrolet Corvette pace car May 30 at the start of the Indianapolis 500, the AP reports. Freeman, 66, will lead the starting field on the parade and pace laps at the start of the race. "Right next to acting, my childhood dream was to drive on a Speedway track," Freeman said. "I'm thrilled to just be an observer, but especially thrilled to be a part of the racing logs as the pace car driver for the Indianapolis 500 this year." Other celebrity pace car drivers in recent years include Jay Leno, Anthony Edwards, Jim Caviezel and model Elaine Irwin-Mellencamp, wife of rock musician John Mellencamp.
Role Call: Hounsou and Silverstone Join Beauty Shop
ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox confirmed reports Tuesday that they will jointly produce a two-hour, celebrity-studded telethon on Friday to benefit families of the victims of last week's terrorist attacks in New York and Washington. The program will also be offered to the "fifth" networks, UPN and the WB, and to cable outlets, the Big 4 networks said. The program is scheduled to be carried live from 9:00 p.m. to 11:00 p.m. on the East Coast. It will be seen via tape-delay on the West Coast.
Titled America: A Tribute to Heroes, the program will feature performances by the Dixie Chicks, Alicia Keys, Sheryl Crow, Neil Young, Stevie Wonder, Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi, Tom Petty, Billy Joel, Faith Hill and Paul Simon. Celebrities including Jim Carrey, Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz, Robert De Niro, Clint Eastwood, Tom Hanks, Will Smith, Robin Williams and Julia Roberts have also agreed to appear, but it was not clear how they will be integrated into the program.
The Toronto Star assigned Daphne Gordon, its "Totally Blonde Entertainment Reporter," to write its review of Legally Blonde, starring Reese Witherspoon: It begins: "I've decided that while it's fun being beautiful, and it's fun being smart, it's even funner being beautiful and smart. I decided this last night, after I saw the cool new flick Legally Blonde. I totally loved it because it made me feel like it's okay to have highlights and still have big-time aspirations like becoming Prime Minister of Canada, or at least marrying a politician's son." Kenneth Turan -- hair color unknown -- of the Los Angeles Times is not nearly so enthusiastic: "Legally Blonde is basically Clueless Goes to Harvard," he writes. "Nothing wrong with that notion, but, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I've seen Clueless and this is no Clueless." On the other hand, Philip Wuntch comments in the Dallas Morning News: "As a comedy that celebrated shallowness while ostensibly scorning it, Clueless boasted sharper dialogue and direction. But Ms. Witherspoon far outdistances Clueless' Alicia Silverstone." Susan Wloszczyna in USA Today says the movie amounts to "Perry Mason Meets Miss Clairol." Her verdict: "Guilty of inciting a near-laugh riot thanks to an irresistible leading lady whose comic instincts are as impeccable as her manicure."