Each week, Hollywood gives us something to whine about, and the week of April 29 was no different. We could make a drinking game out of this week, but that would be too dangerous. Instead, we'll stick to the usual formula: varying levels of alcoholic respite depending on how bothersome the week's issues are. Is your biggest complaint this week a flimsy one? How about a light cocktail to take the edge off? Got a real bone to pick with a celeb or entertainment entity this week? Go ahead, grab a drink that'll put hair on your chest. Here are the week's entertainment stories that are forcing us to seek a bubbly or boozy refuge. And maybe an idea or two about how you should wash them down.
Sip a Little White Wine Sangria
Because Kanye West is at again. He took to Twitter with a two simple words and now we're all forced to lose our minds speculating.
Lars von Trier's new movie poster is just two parentheses. But really, it's forcing us to be the perverts to fill in the female anatomy blank.
Someone needs to buy Al Pacino a calendar. He just dropped out of a movie two months before its release.
It turns out, celebrities and horse owners have a lot in common. Apparently, they employ the same thought process when naming their babies and their horses.
Upgrade Your Buzz With a Margarita
Harrison Ford doesn't seem to be too jazzed about his new movie. This video doesn't bode well for Ender's Game, does it?
Jaden Smith is supporting Justin Bieber's harem pants movement. At the cost of looking like he has baby legs.
Everyone at The Office says Steve Carell isn't coming back. But we refuse to believe Michael Scott would miss this finale.
What the hell, Showtime? This Dexter poster is going to give us nightmares.
Go Ahead, Drink Some Straight Tequila
Lindsay Lohan has been arrested so many times, we can't keep track. No really, we tried and it's near impossible.
Amanda Bynes finally gave a reason for her madness. She wants to look like a famous stripper. Great, back to square one.
This whole Reese Witherspoon thing keeps getting worse. Now there's a second video of Jim Tosh scolding Witherspoon. Will it never end?
Follow Kelsea on Twitter @KelseaStahler
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Alien wars can be a total downer: defending the earth against those intent on destroying humanity is a serious business. Especially in the world of Ender's Game, the Orson Scott Card epic-novel-series-turned-movie coming out this fall.
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For those who were too busy during high school to actually do any of the required reading (I mean, that's why the 90s created Sparknotes, right?), the novel focuses on a wonderfully-named young boy, Ender Wiggin who is tasked with saving the Earth from yet-another invasion of the Formics (a race of aliens with a hive mind) — something humankind has barely survived twice before — thanks to his prowess on the genius front. A military mind is a terrible thing to waste, eh?
RELATED: 'Ender's Game' Finally Out of Development Hell
The poster for Ender's Game focuses on the out-of-this-world element: showing young Ender standing on the edge of it all, looking down on earth and all he must protect. Take a look for yourself.
The film stars Asa Butterfield, Hailee Steinfeld, Abigail Breslin, Harrison Ford, and Ben Kingsley, and blasts into theaters on November 1, 2013. Are you looking forward to Ender's Game? Let us know in the comments!
Follow Alicia on Twitter @alicialutes
[Photo Credit: Summit Entertainment]
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Whether you're currently wrapped in eight layers, praying that you will survive the bitter cold of winter, or you live in a place where it never drops below 60 degrees (screw you!), summer is on the horizon. Helping to remind us of the light at the end of the tunnel are a set of new pics from 2013's biggest blockbuster releases. Nothing warms the soul like a superhero's scowl.
First up is a new still from the little-comic-movie-that-could, The Wolverine. The Hugh Jackman-led action flick is both a prequel to the original X-Men trilogy, a sequel to his spin-off X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and a… well, who really knows how it fits into the upcoming X-Men: Days of Future Past, which collides all the mythology — including X-Men: First Class — into one steaming serving of cinematic goulash. It's been a bumpy road for The Wolverine, which clawed its way through pre-production disaster after pre-production disaster to finally come to screens this year. And it looks good! Or, at least, an image like the one below has us pumped for more of Jackman's rough, gruff hero.
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Next, we have a look at the upcoming Ender's Game, a sci-fi epic that has all the makings of a summer movie… but actually drops in November. Based on the acclaimed novel by Orson Scott Card, the movie stars Asa Butterfield (Hugo) as a wunderkind of intergalactic military strategy, sent to "Battle School" to train as a soldier. For fans of True Grit who wondered what happened to the young, Oscar-nominated star Hailee Steinfeld, she appears alongside Butterfield in Ender's Game, as you can see in the latest still from the film:
RELATED: 'Iron Man 3' Trailer: Tony Stark Is Still Having 'Avengers' Nightmares
Rounding out the bunch, Iron Man 3 continues its character poster binge with a new one-sheet of Guy Pearce as the suspected villain Aldrich Killian. While the folks at Marvel were ready to show off their trilogy-capper at Comic-Con earlier this year — with flashy footage of Robert Downey Jr. zipping around the sky and eventually hitting rock bottom as billionaire inventor Tony Stark — we're still in the dark on the plot of Iron Man 3. Ben Kingsley will appear as the popular villain Mandarin, but where does Pearce's Killian fit into the picture? Judging from this poster, he may play Miami Vicedetective James Crockett. Maybe.
Follow Matt Patches on Twitter @misterpatches
[Photo Credit: 20th Century Fox; Summit Entertainment; Marvel]
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