It was the trickle of pee heard around the world. Cannes attendees were aghast and/or amused an infamous scene from The Paperboy that shows Nicole Kidman urinating on Zac Efron; this is apparently a great salve for jellyfish burns which were covering our Ken Doll-like protagonist. (In fact the term protagonist should be used very loosely for Efron's character Jack who is mostly acted upon than active throughout.)
Lurid! Sexy! Perverse! Trashy! Whether or not it's actually effective is overshadowed by all the hubbub that's attached itself to the movie for better or worse. In fact the movie is all of these things — but that's actually not a compliment. What could have become somethingmemorable is jaw-droppingly bad (when it's not hilarious). Director Lee Daniels uses a few different visual styles throughout from a stark black and white palette for a crime scene recreation at the beginning to a '70s porno aesthetic that oscillates between psychedelic and straight-up sweaty with an emphasis on Efron's tighty-whiteys. This only enhances the sloppiness of the script which uses lines like narrator/housekeeper/nanny Anita's (Macy Gray) "You ain't tired enough to be retired " to conjure up the down-home wisdom of the South. Despite Gray's musical talents she is not a good choice for a narrator or an actor for that matter. In a way — insofar as they're perhaps the only female characters given a chunk of screen time — her foil is Charlotte Bless Nicole Kidman's character. Anita is the mother figure who wears as we see in an early scene control-top pantyhose whereas Charlotte is all clam diggers and Barbie doll make-up. Or as Anita puts it "an oversexed Barbie doll."
The slapdash plot is that Jack's older brother Ward (Matthew McConaughey) comes back to town with his colleague Yardley (David Oyelowo) to investigate the case of a death row criminal named Hillary Van Wetter. Yardley is black and British which seems to confuse many of the people he meets in this backwoods town. Hillary (John Cusack) hidden under a mop of greasy black hair) is a slack-jawed yokel who could care less if he's going to be killed for a crime he might or might not have committed. He is way more interested in his bride-to-be Charlotte who has fallen in love with him through letters — this is her thing apparently writing letters and falling in love with inmates — and has rushed to help Ward and Yardley free her man. In the meantime we're subjected to at least one simulated sex scene that will haunt your dreams forever. Besides Hillary's shortcomings as a character that could rustle up any sort of empathy the case itself is so boring it begs the question why a respected journalist would be interested enough to pursue it.
The rest of the movie is filled with longing an attempt to place any the story in some sort of social context via class and race even more Zac Efron's underwear sexual violence alligator innards swamp people in comically ramshackle homes and a glimpse of one glistening McConaughey 'tock. Harmony Korine called and he wants his Gummo back.
It's probably tantalizing for this cast to take on "serious" "edgy" work by an Oscar-nominated director. Cusack ditched his boombox blasting "In Your Eyes" long ago and Efron's been trying to shed his squeaky clean image for so long that he finally dropped a condom on the red carpet for The Lorax so we'd know he's not smooth like a Ken doll despite how he was filmed by Daniels. On the other hand Nicole Kidman has been making interesting and varied career choices for years so it's confounding why she'd be interested in a one-dimensional character like Charlotte. McConaughey's on a roll and like the rest of the cast he's got plenty of interesting projects worth watching so this probably won't slow him down. Even Daniels is already shooting a new film The Butler as we can see from Oprah's dazzling Instagram feed. It's as if they all want to put The Paperboy behind them as soon as possible. It's hard to blame them.
While recent animated blockbusters have aimed to viewers of all ages starting with fantastical concepts and breathtaking visuals but tackling complex emotional issues along the way Ice Age: Continental Drift is crafted especially for the wee ones — and it works. Venturing back to prehistoric times once again the fourth Ice Age film paints broad strokes on the theme of familial relationships throwing in plenty of physical comedy along the way. The movie isn't that far off from one of the many Land Before Time direct-to-video sequels: not particularly innovative or necessary but harmless thrilling fun for anyone with a sense of humor. Unless they have a particular distaste for wooly mammoths the kids will love it.
Ice Age: Continental Drift continues to snowball its cartoon roster bringing back the original film's trio (Ray Romano as Manny the Mammoth Denis Leary as Diego the Sabertooth Tiger and John Leguizamo as Sid the Sloth) new faces acquired over the course of the franchise (Queen Latifah as Manny's wife Ellie) and a handful of new characters to spice things up everyone from Nicki Minaj as Manny's daughter Steffie to Wanda Sykes as Sid's wily grandma. The whole gang is living a pleasant existence as a herd with Manny's biggest problem being playing overbearing dad to the rebellious daughter. Teen mammoths they always want to go out and play by the waterfall! Whippersnappers.
The main thrust of the film comes when Scratch the Rat (whose silent comedy routines in the vein of Tex Avery/WB cartoons continue to be the series highlight) accidentally cracks the singular continent Pangea into the world we know today. Manny Diego and Sid find themselves stranded on an iceberg once again forced on a road trip journey of survival. The rest of the herd embarks to meet them giving Steffie time to realize the true meaning of friendship with help from her mole pal Louis (Josh Gad).
The ham-handed lessons may drag for those who've passed Kindergarten but Ice Age: Continental Drift is a lot of fun when the main gang crosses paths with a group of villainous pirates. (Back then monkeys rabbits and seals were hitting the high seas together pillaging via boat-shaped icebergs. Obviously.) Quickly Ice Age becomes an old school pirate adventure complete with maritime navigation buried treasure and sword fights. Gut (Peter Dinklage) an evil ape with a deadly... fingernail leads the evil-doers who pose an entertaining threat for the familiar bunch. Jennifer Lopez pops by as Gut's second-in-command Shira the White Tiger and the film's two cats have a chase scene that should rouse even the most apathetic adults. Hearing Dinklage (of Game of Thrones fame) belt out a pirate shanty may be worth the price of admission alone.
With solid action (that doesn't need the 3D addition) cartoony animation and gags out the wazoo Ice Age: Continental Drift is entertainment to enjoy with the whole family. Revelatory? Not quite. Until we get a feature length silent film of Scratch's acorn pursuit we may never see a "classic" Ice Age film but Continental Drift keeps it together long enough to tell a simple story with delightful flare that should hold attention spans of any length. Massive amounts of sugar not even required.
[Photo Credit: 20th Century Fox]
Here is the complete list of winners:
Best Motion Picture - Drama
The Aviator WINNER!
Million Dollar Baby
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama
Scarlett Johansson, A Love Song For Bobby Long
Nicole Kidman, Birth
Imelda Staunton, Vera Drake
Hilary Swank, Million Dollar Baby WINNER!
Uma Thurman, Kill Bill Vol. 2
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama
Javier Bardem, The Sea Inside
Don Cheadle, Hotel Rwanda
Johnny Depp, Finding Neverland
Leonardo Dicaprio, The Aviator WINNER!
Liam Neeson, Kinsey
Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
The Phantom of the Opera
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
Annette Bening, Being Julia WINNER!
Ashley Judd, De-Lovely
Emmy Rossum, The Phantom of the Opera
Kate Winslet, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Renee Zellweger, Bridget Jones: the Edge of Reason
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture -Musical or Comedy
Jim Carrey, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Jamie Foxx, Ray WINNER!
Paul Giamatti, Sideways
Kevin Kline, De-Lovely
Kevin Spacey, Beyond the Sea
Best Director - Motion Picture
Clint Eastwood, Million Dollar Baby WINNER!
Marc Forster, Finding Neverland
Mike Nichols, Closer
Alexander Payne, Sideways
Martin Scorsese, The Aviator
Best Foreign Language Film
The Chorus (Les Choristes), (France)
House of Flying Daggers, (China)
The Motorcycle Diaries, (Brazil)
The Sea Inside, (Spain) WINNER!
A Very Long Engagement, (France)
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Cate Blanchet, The Aviator
Laura Linney, Kinsey
Virginia Madsen, Sideways
Natalie Portman, Closer WINNER!
Meryl Streep, The Manchurian Candidate
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
David Carradine, Kill Bill Vol. 2
Thomas Haden Church, Sideways
Jamie Foxx, Collateral
Morgan Freeman, Million Dollar Baby
Clive Owen, Closer WINNER!
Best Screenplay - Motion Picture
Charlie Kaufman, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
John Logan, The Aviator
David Magee, Finding Neverland
Patrick Marber, Closer
Alexander Payne & Jim Taylor, Sideways WINNER!
Best Original Score - Motion Picture
Clint Eastwood, Million Dollar Baby
Jan A.P. Kaczmarek, Finding Neverland
Rolfe Kent, Sideways
Howard Shore, The Aviator WINNER!
Hans Zimmer, Spanglish
Best Original Song - Motion Picture
"Accidentally In Love" -- Shrek 2
Music & Lyrics By: Adam Duritz, Dan Vickery, David Immergluck, Matthew Malley & David Bryson
"Believe" - The Polar Express
Music & Lyrics By: Glen Ballard & Alan Silvestri
"Learn To Be Lonely" - The Phantom of the Opera
Music By: Andrew Lloyd Webber
Lyrics By: Charles Hart
"Million Voices" - Hotel Rwanda
Music By: Wyclef Jean, Jerry "Wonder" Duplessis, Andrea Guerra
Lyrics By: Wyclef Jean
"Old Habits Die Hard" - Alfie
Music & Lyrics By: Mick Jagger & David A. Stewart WINNER!
Best Television Series - Drama
Nip/Tuck (FX) WINNER!
The Sopranos (HBO)
Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Drama
Edie Falco, The Sopranos
Jennifer Garner, Alias
Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit WINNER!
Christine Lahti, Jack & Bobby
Joely Richardson, Nip/Tuck
Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Drama
Michael Chiklis, The Shield
Denis Leary, Rescue Me
Julian Mcmahon, Nip/Tuck
Ian McShane, Deadwood WINNER!
James Spader, Boston Legal
Best Television Series - Musical or Comedy
Arrested Development (Fox)
Desperate Housewives (ABC) WINNER!
Sex and the City (HBO)
Will & Grace (NBC)
Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy
Marcia Cross, Desperate Housewives
Teri Hatcher, Desperate Housewives WINNER!
Felicity Huffman, Desperate Housewives
Debra Messing, Will & Grace
Sarah Jessica Parker, Sex And The City
Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy
Jason Bateman, Arrested Development WINNER!
Zach Braff, Scrubs
Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm
Matt Leblanc, Joey
Tony Shalhoub, Monk
Charlie Sheen, Two And A Half Men
Best Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made For Television
American Family - Journey of Dreams (PBS)
Iron Jawed Angels (HBO)
The Life and Death of Peter Sellers (HBO) WINNER!
The Lion in Winter (Showtime)
Something the Lord Made (HBO)
Best Performance by an Actress in a Mini-Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television
Glenn Close, The Lion in Winter WINNER!
Blythe Danner, Back When We Were Grown Ups
Julianna Margulies, The Grid
Miranda Richardson, The Lost Prince
Hilary Swank, Iron Jawed Angels
Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or A Motion Picture Made for Television
Mos Def, Something the Lord Made
Jamie Foxx, Redemption
William H. Macy, The Wool Cap
Geoffrey Rush, The Life and Death of Peter Sellers WINNER!
Patrick Stewart, The Lion in Winter
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Drea De Matteo, The Sopranos
Anjelica Huston, Iron Jawed Angels WINNER!
Nicolette Sheridan, Desperate Housewives
Charlize Theron, The Life and Death of Peter Sellers
Emily Watson, The Life and Death of Peter Sellers
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Sean Hayes, Will & Grace
Michael Imperioli, The Sopranos
Jeremy Piven, Entourage
Oliver Platt, Huff
William Shatner, Boston Legal WINNER!
Top Story: Bob Hope Eulogized at Memorial Mass
Politicians and celebrities gathered at St. Charles Borromeo Catholic Church in North Hollywood near Bob Hope's Toluca Lake home yesterday to thank the late comic for his humor and decades of service to U.S. military personnel abroad. Hope died July 27 at age 100. Roman Catholic Cardinal Roger M. Mahoney presided over the Mass, which was attended by Hope's widow, Dolores; former President Ford and his wife, Betty; former first lady Nancy Reagan, Mickey Rooney, Hal Holbrook, Raquel Welch, Marie Osmond, Phyllis Diller, Ed McMahon, Norm Crosby, retired Gen. William Westmoreland, former California Gov. Pete Wilson, and businessman Lee Iacocca, The Associated Press reports. The service began with an honor guard upholding the flags of the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines and Coast Guard, representing the service men and women Hope entertained during his USO tours. The service ended with a Marine bugler playing "Taps" and a choir softly humming "Thanks for the Memory," Hope's theme song.
CIA Recruits Alias Star for Promotional Video
Alias star Jennifer Garner said she has been asked to contribute to an official CIA video promoting the government agency to be shown to university graduate students and prospective agents. "We feel that Miss Garner, both in character as agent Sydney Bristow and as herself, embodies the intelligence, enthusiasm and dedication that we're looking for," Chase Brandon, a film industry liaison for the CIA, told Reuters. "Her participation would add a human touch to the message we're trying to convey."
More Jail Time For Bobby Brown
Singer Bobby Brown, who was arrested at a suburban Atlanta restaurant while Friday while dining with wife Whitney Houston, was ordered to serve nine additional days in jail on for violating his probation from a drunken driving conviction, Reuters reports. DeKalb County Court Judge Wayne Purdom ordered Brown to serve 14 days of jail time, with credit for five days already served, and warned the singer of harsher consequences if he failed to fulfill terms of the probation. Brown, wearing the familiar orange jail uniform, apologized to the judge.
Radio Station Reprimanded for Mocking Holocaust
A Vancouver radio station was reprimanded Wednesday for running an episode of the syndicated advice show Loveline that mocked the Holocaust. It featured a call from a telephone sex operator who wanted advice on how to make her clients stay on the phone longer. Host Adam Carolla suggested she use words like "Holocaust," "Vietnam" and "cancer" to dampen her clients' zeal. The Canadian Broadcast Standards Council said that while it understood the "intended humor" in the piece, Corolla exceeded any reasonable level of propriety when he responded with, "Yeah, yeah, burn those Jews. Gas 'em in the shower, baby. Yeah, yeah ... send 'em on the train to Krakow."
John Singleton Gets Walk of Fame Star
Director John Singleton, whose credits include Poetic Justice, Shaft and 2 Fast 2 Furious, received a star Tuesday on the Hollywood Walk of Fame to celebrate the 12th anniversary of the gangland drama Boyz N the Hood. Singleton penned the script for the film, which helped launch the acting careers of Cuba Gooding Jr., Ice Cube and Morris Chestnut, when he was a film student at the University of Southern California. "I am tripping out," Singleton said. "In 1977, when I was 9 years old, I had a date with my dad to go the Chinese Theatre to see Star Wars. This is where I learned to appreciate cinema. I want to thank my dad for that."
Sony Pushes Back Big Fish Release
Director Tim Burton 's new film Big Fish, which had originally been set for wide release Nov. 26 to take advantage of the Thanksgiving holiday, is being held back by two months to give the marketing campaign more time, according to The Hollywood Reporter. Sony Pictures will platform release the film in New York, Los Angeles and Toronto beginning Dec. 18 to an eventual wide release in 2,500 theaters Jan. 23. Big Fish, about a man coming to terms with his dying father, stars Ewan McGregor, Albert Finney, Billy Crudup and Jessica Lange.
Malibu Film Fest Unspools With Lou
The fourth annual Malibu Film Festival, which honors undiscovered, cutting-edge films, will open Sept. 26 with actor Brett Carr's directorial debut Lou, about a boxer with a speech impediment who can only speak without a stutter when he's fighting or impersonating the fictional Rocky Balboa. According to Variety, this year's festival will present 33 shorts, 10 documentaries and seven features, which were selected from an unprecedented pool of 3,000 international submissions. The festival closes Oct. 2.
Role Call: Sydney Pollack May Go Skate
Oscar-winning director Sydney Pollack is in talks to helm Fox 2000's Shockproof Sydney Skate, based on the 1973 novel by Marijane Meaker. According to Variety, Shockproof is one of the longest gestating projects in Hollywood: It has been in development at Fox for several years, and its producer, Teri Schwartz, has held options to the book dating back to 1977. The film is a coming-of-age story about a young man who just before college falls in love with the same gorgeous model as his lesbian mother. Pollack picked up two Oscars for Out of Africa in 1985, one as pr
August is the time of year when cable television's innovator of "reality" shows, The Discovery Channel, encourages us to turn our thoughts to the possibility of being eaten alive by giant fish. That's right, the 13th annual "Shark Week" kicks off today. This year, perhaps feeling the pressure to outperform all the newer reality shows in the ratings, we move a step closer to actually feeding the documentary filmmakers directly to the animals in "Giants: Sharks" (today at 10 p.m. PDT).
The cages are removed and the supersmart marine biologists voluntarily swim with Great Whites in the open ocean. "Shark Week -- Uncaged," a full seven days of docs (unlike NBC's "West Wing Week" which only lasted for three days) officially kicks off today at 9 p.m. PDT with "Sharks 3D." Yes, you'll need to get the glasses.
Tom Selleck "Running Mates" (premiering today at 8 p.m. PDT), an original made-for-cable comedy about an aspiring presidential candidate (Tom Selleck) clearly demonstrates two things we've suspected for quite sometime. First, movies about political conventions are always more interesting than actual political conventions. And second, yes, Selleck does look kind of weird without the moustache.
Faye Dunaway ("Bonnie and Clyde") and Teri Hatcher ("Lois and Clark" and those Radio Shack commercials with ex-football player turned actor Howie Long) costar as two of the many women in Selleck’s life.
On Tuesday, television finally gets around to figuring out some way to glorify stockbrokers as TNT premieres its original dramatic series "Bulls" (8 p.m. PDT and encoring all night).
A bunch of hip, young, idealistic stockbrokers (no, seriously) led by Robert "Ditto" Roberts III ("Father of the Bride") defect from Ditto's" not so young and decidedly unhip grandfather's firm to start their own (young and hip) brokerage firm. Uh, sounds really, really cool. Stanley Tucci ("Big Night") also stars.
Kurt Angle A couple of weeks ago, live coverage by all three major networks of Republican presidential candidate George W. Bush's acceptance speech propelled "WWF Smackdown!" (Thursday at 8 p.m. PDT on UPN) to one of its highest ratings of the year.
This Thursday, another very important speech, this time from Democratic presidential candidate Al Gore, will likely raise the awareness of professional wrestling on UPN to an even higher level. If you don't normally watch on nights without coverage of political conventions, you'll need to get caught up. There is trouble in paradise as the marriage between evil ex-champ Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, the beautiful but similarly evil daughter of evil promoter Vince McMahon, has run into a potential snag. It seems that Hunter is jealous of Stephanie's relationship with evil Olympic hero Kurt Angle.
Fair warning: If you don't want this show to become an (evil) habit, you'd better play it safe and stick with the vice president.
Chris Rock Finally this week, the long awaited return of "The Chris Rock Show" (Friday at 12 a.m. PDT on HBO) happens. The most thought-provoking, irreverent and funniest comic working today begins a new season of the best talk show on television.
This week, footage of Rock's visit to the Republican National Convention in Philadelphia and his grass roots efforts to "Free Bobby Brown" from a Florida jail after the erstwhile singer turned inmate's latest bout with the law.