In the Season 3 finale of A&E’s reality hit Duck Dynasty, fans were treated to something we’ve never seen before: The Robertsons on vacation. Complete with floral shirts, fruity drinks and a sarong that looked so right, our flock did their best to unwind and have some fun on their Hawaiian getaway.
In between the clan's jungle tour and Jason Bourne movie marathon, we at Hollywood.com realized that that the Robertsons are actually like heavily bearded life coaches. They live their lives to the fullest and drop plenty of weird yet relatable nuggets of information along the way. So to help you pass the time until the Season 4 premiere, we present the eight most ridiculous (yet profound) words of wisdom from The Robertsons on vacation.
Si, on Why The Movie Ted Was Horrible For Society: "What is this world coming to when we cant even count on teddy bears to give us wholesome entertainment? He was cussing and doing drugs and junk! The next thing you know the Care Bears are going to start gangs and you’ve got Teddy Ruxpin doing drugs with Paddington. We’ve got Winnie the Pooh sticking up a store yelling, 'Hey! Hand over the honey, nice and slow or the Piglet gets it.'"
Jase, on The Benefits of Having a Beard: "The beard is the piggy bank of the human anatomy. It’s like a taste savings account, you go revisit it later."
Phil, on Why Jason Bourne is The Absolute Best: "Jason Bourne: He’s kind of a cross between MacGyver and James Bond. He’s got every kind of jujitsu known to man. He’s able to live off the things he finds in the woods — he’s my kind of man. Jason Bourne: The Ultimate Redneck. He’s kind of like the son you never had."
Si, on Technology: "Forget it, you’re not going to teach this old dog new tricks, but you can bring an old dog new toys."
Willie, on Trying New Adventures: "My rule of thumb is I’ll only allow myself to fall four times while doing anything. Anything more than that, you’re just being an idiot. Okay six… six times and that’s it."
Si, on The Human Anatomy: "Sometimes nature calls and when it calls you’ve got to answer it — like when the phone rings, hey you pick it up. It’s nature, the call of the wild, you can’t stop dogs from barking and you can’t stop whales from swimming and you can’t stop me from whizzing."
Jase, on Finding The Perfect Gift: "Do not give me any gifts if you cannot handle to truth of what I think about it because I’m going to tell you."
Si, on Packing For Vacations: "When I get told to bring appropriate attire, hey that’s what I do. If I was heading to Miami I’d have a white sports coat and a pink T-shirt. Dallas? It’d be a big ten gallon cowboy hat and a belt buckle. For Hawaii it’s a Tigers hat and a flowery red shirt. It’s like I said before, you’ve got to blend in with the culture."
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Add one more angry man to this poster and you'll have a Jack Lemmon classic. The forthcoming amalgamation of Hollywood's most outstanding vessels of testosterone, The Expendables 2, has released one final poster (courtesy of Yahoo), featuring each of its human punches standing tall and proud amidst a scene of fire and exploding fighter planes. Center stage is the film's star, Sylvester Stallone, equipped with a pair of guns, a drooping beret (the badass kind, not the artsy kind), and a belt buckle you could see from space... or at least the altitude of an exploding fighter plane.
Surrounding Stallone are costars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jason Statham, Terry Crews, Bruce Willis, and just about every other conceivable name in the contemporary field of making beta males shudder. Expendable-in-training, young Liam Hemsworth, is resigned to the back row... even if the Hunger Games audience isn't exactly The Expendables 2's target demographic, but it's still surprising to see such a prominent rising star so out of focus in the promotional material of an upcoming blockbuster-to-be.
If you're in the mood for some action this summer, The Expendables 2 is sure to deliver. Peruse the poster, do a couple of pushups, and then check out the film, in theaters August 17.
The Expendables 2
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Celebrity photographer Dewey Nicks is set to direct the film Rodeo Queen, which will be overseen by Madonna's Maverick Entertainment company.
Nicks, who has photographed celebrities for magazines such as GQ, Rolling Stone, Vogue and Vanity Fair gained became interested in the feature film after shooting a print campaign introducing a Tommy Hilfiger underwear campaign line in Austin, Texas, Reuters reported.
"This is such a strong piece of nostalgic American culture, and with Madonna at the forefront, people are rediscovering this style of rodeo in fashion,'' Nicks said.
Rodeo Queen is based on a Texas Monthly article about four young women competing for the title of Rodeo Queen of Llano, Texas. Nicks will reportedly be paid a low seven-figure salary to direct the picture.
"The rodeo is set up to celebrate the athleticism of men, and this is really the only part that has to do with women, not counting the buckle bunnies, who are like groupies chasing the cowboys," Nicks added.
His feature debut Slackers, starring Devon Sawa, James King and Jason Schwartzman, will be released in January by Screen Gems.