Steve and Terri Irwin are crocodile relocators in Far North Queensland Australia. They spend a lot of time well relocating crocs--saving a baby kangaroo and charming a few snakes along the way. But all that's about to change. A U.S. satellite has exploded in space and its black box has re-entered the atmosphere and ended up in the gut of a nasty 12-foot croc the Irwins are about to relocate. The FBI CIA and goodness knows what other agencies are out to find the box at any cost because it contains data that could change the world's power structure. When the agents cross paths with the Irwins they become convinced that the two croc hunters are actually spies mainly because as one agent says toward the end of the film "You don't make that kind of money in cable television." That's for sure and that's probably the reason the producers turned The Crocodile Hunter cable show into a movie. It definitely wasn't because the script was irresistible: The plot is as transparent as shed snakeskin and the acting (if it can be called that) is as stiff as the spikes on a croc's back. I'm sure this is the kind of movie that a critic shouldn't take seriously but from its lizard-pooh opening to its crocodile-pooh finish The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course really stinks.
Director/story writer/producer John Stainton was working with Irwin long before The Crocodile Hunter TV show became an international hit. In fact he wrote a movie script for Irwin in the mid-1990s that was scrapped because he didn't think Irwin should be acting. It's a shame he didn't take that thought process one step further; we'd all have been spared an agonizing guided tour of a good idea gone very very bad. The film's stars while appealing enough in the one-hour documentary format simply can't sustain a full-length motion picture and Mr. Irwin would have done well to heed his own advice--"Don't muck with it." Granted at least Stainton was smart enough to present the Irwins doing what they do best--enthusiastically working with wild animals while talking straight into the camera. The task of plot development is left to the other cast members--mainly Australian actors doing caricatures of Americans--who overdramatically play out the goofy spy plot in scenes that are completely separate from the Irwins' animal antics until the last 10 minutes of the film. The Irwin family dog Sui is probably the best actor of the bunch--and the smartest too. Most of the time she looks like she'd rather be just about anywhere else which is the most intelligent thing anybody in this film does.
As if anybody needed it The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course is proof that what works on TV doesn't necessarily make a good movie; the Crocodile Hunter documentary routine quickly grows frustrating in the film because the Irwin scenes do nothing to further what little plot the movie actually has. Plus the reason why the Irwins continually talk into the camera goes unexplained until the very end of the film--and when someone finally mentions the fact that the Irwins have been "filming" their show throughout the movie it's so offhand that it's easily missed. At the same time the spy storyline that drives the plot is trite and because of the movie's bizarre structure it's played out by actors the audience couldn't care less about rather than by the ones they came to see. The spy scenes separate the Irwin segments like commercials--and like commercials when they come on you just want to get up and go to the bathroom grab a snack or feed the dog. The best thing that can be said for Stainton's direction is that at least he's not afraid of the film's ridiculousness. Bad though the movie is in every way Stainton puts it all out there as enthusiastically as Steve Irwin wrestles crocs and that's saying something. The film also gets across the Irwins' admittedly important message about conservation loud and clear but that probably won't be enough to keep its audience from becoming extinct.
How would you like Elvis Presley's 1976 blue Cadillac El Dorado Biarritz parked inside your garage? Lovely thought isn't it? Dream no further--the car can be yours if you bid on eBay, and you have enough money in the bank.
The online auction house eBay Motors is offering a stable of celebrity-touched cars to the highest bidder in the "Cars of the Stars" auction, which closes on Thursday.
"The eBay Motors category is the fastest growing category on eBay," said Kevin Purseglove, a PR representative for eBay. "People who have sold their cars online have gotten more traffic than anywhere else."
Along with Presley's Caddie, John Lennon's 1970 Mercedes-Benz limousine, Tim Allen's 1960 Chrysler 300F convertible, Reggie Jackson's 1970 Chevrolet Nova and Jerry Garcia's custom 1994 Dodge van are also on the auction block.
Other auction houses are jumping on the celebrity bandwagon. According to the Associated Press, the Barrett-Jackson auction house in Los Angeles also auctions celebrity cars. Currently on auction are Wonder Woman Linda Carter's 1984 Jaguar XJ6, a 1975 Lincoln Continental once owned by Elvis Presley and a 1999 Chevrolet Suburban driven by The Sopranos' Tony Soprano during the first series of the HBO mobster series.
Elton John auctioned off 20 classic cars from his personal collection last Wednesday at Christie's auction house in London. The singer received $2.75 million dollars for his cars and released a statement claiming he was surprised at the results. "When the bidding kept going up and up way above the estimates, I was both thrilled and surprised. There's obviously a lot of money to be made from second-hand cars!" John said in the statement.
"Bidders have the chance to drive away in a car from some of our most beloved icons," Simon Rothman, vice president of eBay Motors told the Associated Press.
Purseglove adds that most of the cars auctioned off are listed on eBay by the estate, the celeb's next of kin, or automobile collectors who buy cars because of the individual who owned it or because of their passions for cars.
Since the birth of eBay in 1996, users have found themselves bidding on items ranging from clothing to music to antiques. Three years ago, cars were included on eBay.
According to Purseglove, celebrities are finding that they can get a great deal of attention by selling their items on eBay, simply because it's a flexible marketplace. It's easy to sell merchandise, and it attracts a lot of media attention.
Many sell their goods for a charitable cause. Tiger Woods is auctioning a 2001 Buick Regal he drove during the week of his Masters golf win. According to the Associated Press, the buyer will also receive an autographed plaque, a Buick Nike golf bag and clubs. All proceeds benefit the Tiger Woods Foundation.
Talk show host Rosie O'Donnell, who regularly sells her show memorabilia to benefit the For All Kids Foundation, has gained significant recognition for her organization, Rosie's Charity Auctions, founded in 1997 to help support the intellectual, social and cultural development of at-risk children across the U.S. According to O'Donnell's Web site, the Foundation has awarded over 500 grants to nonprofit organizations for children and families across the country.
" [eBay] has a pretty good relationship with Ms. O'Donnell," Purseglove said. "Sometimes guests that go to her show will bring autographed items for her to sell online."
O'Donnell, whose eBay seller name is "4allkids," is currently selling a pair of size 9½ Nike sneakers, an I-Zone camera, autographed pictures of herself and guest Martin Short, and her notes from Thursday's show.
The National Trust in London is selling off the house where ex-Beatle John Lennon lived with his aunt for 18 years before he achieved stardom in 1963. The four-bedroom property, valued at 150,000 British pounds is expected to sell for a higher sum. Ron Burkey, the son of Ernest Burkey, who owned the house, told London's Sunday Mirror on June 11 that the house was for sale because his father hated the fans who turned at the gates of his home. "We'll advertise it on the Internet," he told the publication. "There are a lot of fans in Japan and America who are incredibly passionate about John Lennon."
The morning after the Golden Globes, the Directors Guild of America heated up the awards competition by announcing its nominees for director of the year.
This year's DGA nods went to Globe winner Sam Mendes for "American Beauty,"Spike Jonze for "Being John Malkovich," Frank Darabont for "The Green Mile," Michael Mann for "The Insider" and M. Night Shyamalan for "The Sixth Sense."All are first-time feature-film nominees except for Darabont, who was nominated in 1994 for "The Shawshank Redemption."
The winner of the DGA is practically guaranteed a win for Best Director in the Academy Award race. In its 50-year history, only four winners have not gone on to win the Oscar; Anthony Harvey (in 1968 for "The Lion Winter"), Francis Ford Coppola (in 1972 for "The Godfather"), Steven Spielberg (in 1985 for "The Color Purple") and Ron Howard (in 1995 for "Apollo 13." The winner will be announced March11.
SMOKED 'LAMB': Anthony Hopkins' London house caught on fire Sunday, and 75 percent of the second floor was destroyed. Hopkins no longer lives in the residence; he actually gave it to his wife after they split in 1998, according to London's Sun. But she should not worry; firefighters still managed to save Hopkins' Academy Award for "The Silence of the Lambs."
ÜBERENGAGED: German supermodel Claudia Schiffer is officially off the market again; she's just become engaged to British boyfriend Tim Jeffries.
Jeffries, 37, proposed on one knee during a recent Caribbean holiday, and the model immediately accepted, newspapers reported Monday. The Sun said Schiffer, 29, was displaying her diamond engagement ring at a Golden Globes party over the weekend.
Schiffer was engaged for some six years to magician David Copperfield (they split in September), while Jeffries, an art-gallery owner, was married once to photographer Koo Stark, ex-girlfriend of Britain's Prince Andrew. They hope to marry later this year. No word whether Copperfield will make an appearance -- or disappearance.
THEIR TWO CENTS: The Golden Globes is always a good time to get some scoop, and the stars did some chatting at Hollywood honcho Mike Medavoy's annual pre-Globes party Friday in Los Angeles. According to the New York Daily News, winner Peter Fonda reportedly discussed sister Jane's separation from Ted Turner. "I see a very positive change in Jane now," he said. "When she told me she was separating, her entire face seemed to relax. I think she's going to be a much happier person as a result of this." He added that he hopes his sister will return to acting...
Nominee Kevin Spacey revealed that he had plans to see "Man on the Moon" and "The Hurricane" to catch Jim Carrey and Denzel Washington's respective performances so he'd be able to speak more intelligently to his fellow nominees at the awards.
"I screen-tested for 'Man on the Moon,'" The "American Beauty" star told the paper. "I'm one of the guys who went for it. Then Milos [Forman, the director] called and said he was going with . I understood completely. knew Andy Kaufman. I think he even channeled him, too. How could I competewith that?"
The party also brought a surprise late guest: President Clinton.
GOODBYE, DOLLY: At the Golden Globes on Sunday night, Cecil B. DeMille lifetime achievement award winner Barbra Streisand said she will no longer be doing concerts. The stage-shy Babs plans to do four scheduled concerts in Australia in March, "and maybe two more -- one in Los Angeles and one in New York before calling it quits on the concert stage."
"I just don't like it. I don't enjoy public performances being up on a stage,'' the 57-year-old star said. She also plans to concentrate on directing films, and has no current plans to act. Meanwhile, she and hubby James Brolin stay busy, taking road trips and walking into truck stops. How do the people react? Do they tell her she's like buttah? "They seem fine," Streisand responded.
QUICK TAKES: "American Beauty" picked up another accolade this morning, this time by the Broadcast Film Critics Association at its awards luncheon. The critics group had earlier named 10 top films but withheld its pick for the ceremony. The other contenders were "Being John Malkovich," "The Cider House Rules," "The Green Mile," "The Insider," "Magnolia," "Man on the Moon," "The Sixth Sense," "The Talented Mr. Ripley" and "Three Kings".
...Playwright Herb Gardner ("I'm Not Rappaport") has been named the recipient of the Writers Guild of America East's Ian McLellan Hunter Award, recognizing lifetime achievement in writing. The award is named in memory of WGAE Council member McLellan, who died in 1991. He will receive the prize at the guild's ceremony on March 5 ...
... Nicolas Cage's 1933 Ford hot rod sold for $77,500 at the Barrett-Jackson Classic Car Auction on Sunday. It was purchased by publishing magnate Robert E. Petersen for display at the Petersen Automotive Museum in Los Angeles. Elvis Presley's 1972 Lincoln Continental sold for $45,000, and Richard Carpenter, half the 1970s singing duo the Carpenters, got $70,000 for his 1957 DeSoto convertible ...
... Rosie O'Donnell will be back for this year's Grammys. The talk-show host will repeat her stint, which earned the awards their second-highest rating in six years, on Feb. 23 in Los Angeles.
Years after Earth is destroyed by a hostile alien race (when aren't they
hostile?) a strapping young buck named Cale (Matt Damon) is recruited
for a mission to locate a spaceship that holds the key to human
survival. With the alien baddies on their tail Cale and company are in
a race against time to secure a new home for the Earthlings who have
been left homeless by the Drej.
This brilliant animated sci-fi adventure has the added benefit of a
stellar cast. Other than John Leguizamo who renders a whimsical voice
for the nonhuman navigator Gune the cast refrains from altering their
normal voices instead injecting their regular speech with the type of
emotion sincerity and charm you'd expect from a live-action feature. In
addition to Damon Drew Barrymore is Akima the pilot who catches Cale's
eye; Bill Pullman is the authoritative captain; Nathan Lane is the
suspicious first mate; and Janeane Garofalo is a weapons specialist with
(surprise!) a bad attitude.
In addition to producing "Anastasia " veteran animators Don Bluth and
Gary Goldman are known for creating some of the most popular laser disc
interactive video games and it shows in "Titan A.E." The brilliant
graphics and sophisticated animation here will prompt more than one
double take as you wonder whether what you're seeing is real or
animated. The tapestry that surrounds the characters -- particularly in
the final moments of Earth -- is nothing short of the best animation
ever to hit the big screen. Just one question: What's up with Cale's
naked butt scene and Akima's shower sequence? We haven't seen this much
animated skin since Shelley Winters evacuated the Poseidon.