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He said he'd be back. That venerable source for every unconfirmed movie rumor imaginable, Latino Review, has another doozy that sounds like it just might fit. They're claiming James Cameron's longtime friend and sometime Terminator Arnold Schwarzenegger has signed on to play the villain in Avatar 2, due for release in 2016. The glowering musclebound baddie in the first film was played by Stephen Lang, and it seems like Ahnuld could easily play a similar character.
This is great news for the Austrian Oak, since his post-governorship roles haven't exactly caught on fire — though we stand by giving The Last Stand a four star review. But it does make you wonder about what Cameron sees in Schwarzenegger. No, I'm not taking a potshot at his acting ability. Rather why Cameron is the only director who's ever cast him as a villain. First, he played the unstoppably icy title character in The Terminator. Then perhaps more disturbingly — and presciently — he cast him as a CIA agent who's basically a pathological liar, especially to his family, in True Lies. That movie was an uncanny prelude to Schwarzenegger's later tabloid antics that sundered his family.
The question is, does Cameron on some level actually hate Schwarzenegger? He's found a compelling actor to inhabit his characters, yes, but Cameron seems to suggest that there's an underlying current of the sinister in Arnold. They seem like good friends, but then again Werner Herzog called Klaus Kinski his "best friend" (and "best fiend") while plotting to kill him on the sets of Aguirre: Wrath of God and Fitzcarraldo. It's possible that Cameron likes his work...without really liking him on some level. At least we're almost guaranteed to hear Arnold say "Abadah" at some point.
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Physically, Arnold Schwarzenegger is built for the action genre. But even more impressively sculpted than the actor's deltoids is his comic timing. Schwarzenegger's greatest triumphs to date are arguably not his chilling, head-crushing adventure flicks, but those imbued with a bit more humor. His return to Hollywood has seen a revival of this sort of picture — The Expendables, The Last Stand, and the latest: a Toxic Avenger remake, in which Schwarzenegger will play black ops agent the Exterminator.
A loose remake of the 1984 superhero comedy, Hot Tub Time Machine director Steve Pink's new Toxic Avenger will land a high school student at the center of a corrupt chemical companies experiment, affording him superhuman abilities (and a rather grotesque countenance). Schwarzenegger's character, a government renegade, will train the newly deformed lad (seen below in the original Toxic Avenger) on his path to heroism.
Frist known for a 1969 Mr. Universe title, the behemoth actor earned monstrous, muscular roles like Conan the Barbarian and The Terminator. And although Schwarzenegger might always be most strongly associated with this sort of teeth-gritting ass kickery, his real triumphs came a bit later: the comedies. An older Schwarzenegger was granted roles in Total Recall, Kindergarten Cop, and Last Action Hero — action-comedies that proved the slow-speaking, heavily accented powerhouse had comic timing to boot. And now, following a string of political endeavors and highly publicized personal controversies, Schwarzenegger seems right back where he belongs: in the lap of this hybrid genre.
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A decade-long gap between sequels could leave a franchise stale but in the case of Men in Black 3 it's the launch pad for an unexpectedly great blockbuster. The kooky antics of Agent J (Will Smith) and Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones) don't stray far from their 1997 and 2002 adventures but without a bombardment of follow-ups to keep the series in mind the wonderfully weird sensibilities of Men in Black feel fresh Smith's natural charisma once again on full display. Barry Sonnenfeld returns for the threequel another space alien romp with a time travel twist — which turns out to be Pandora's Box for the director's deranged imagination.
As time passed in the real world so did it for the timeline in the world of Men in Black. Picking up ten years after MIB 2 J and K are continuing to protect the Earth from alien threats and enforce the law on those who live incognito. While dealing with their own personal issues — K is at his all-time crabbiest for seemingly no reason — the suited duo encounter an old enemy Boris the Animal (Jemaine Clement) a prickly assassin seeking revenge on K who blew his arm off back in the '60s. Their street fight is more of a warning; Boris' real plan is to head back in time to save his arm and kill off K. He's successful prompting J to take his own leap through the time-space continuum — and team up with a younger K (Josh Brolin) to put an end to Boris plans for world domination.
Men in Black 3 is the Will Smith show. Splitting his time between the brick personalities of Jones and Brolin's K Smith struts his stuff with all the fast-talking comedic style that made him a star in yesteryears. In present day he's still the laid back normal guy in a world of oddities — J raises an eyebrow as new head honcho O (Emma Thompson) delivers a eulogy in a screeching alien tongue but coming up with real world explanations for flying saucer crashes comes a little easier. But back in 1969 he's an even bigger fish out water. Surprisingly director Barry Sonnenfeld and writer Etan Cohen dabble in the inherent issues that would spring up if a black gentlemen decked out in a slick suit paraded around New York in the late '60s. A star of Smith's caliber may stray away from that type of racy humor but the hook of Men in Black 3 is the actor's readiness for anything. He turns J's jokey anachronisms into genuine laughs and doesn't mind letting the special effect artists stretch him into an unrecognizable Twizzler for the movie's epic time jump sequence.
Unlike other summer blockbusters Men in Black 3 is light on the action Sonnenfeld utilizing his effects budget and dazzling creature work (by the legendary Rick Baker) to push the comedy forward. J's fight with an oversized extraterrestrial fish won't keep you on the edge of your seat but his slapstick escape and the marine animal's eventual demise are genuinely amusing. Sonnenfeld carries over the twisted sensibilities he displayed in small screen work like Pushing Daisies favoring bizarre banter and elaborating on the kookiness of the alien underworld than battle scenes. MIB3's chase scene is passable but the movie in its prime when Smith is sparring with Brolin and newcomer Michael Stuhlbarg who steals the show as a being capable of seeing the future. His twitchy character keeps Smith and the audience on their toes.
Men in Black 3 digs up nostalgia I wasn't aware I had. Smith's the golden boy of summer and even with modern ingenuity keeping it fresh — Sonnenfeld uses the mandatory 3D to full and fun effect — there's an element to the film that feels plucked from another era. The movie is economical and slight with plenty of lapses in logic that will provoke head scratching on the walk out of the theater but it's also perfectly executed. After ten years of cinematic neutralizing the folks behind Men in Black haven't forgotten what made the first movie work so well. After al these years Smith continues to make the goofy plot wild spectacle and crazed alien antics look good.
A billionaire TV producer (Robert Mammone) has a great idea for a reality show that he wants to put on the Internet and his goal is to beat the 40 million Super Bowl audience. He has compiled a crack team of young hip and immoral tech geeks directed by Goldman (Rick Hoffman) and puts cameras throughout a remote island where former prisoners are going to kill each other while audiences watch after shelling out the pay-per-view fee. The location is done on a remote secret island and the death row prisoners are bought from prisons around the world with the promise that the survivor gets to walk free. Among the contestants are a rogue Aussie named McStarley (Vinnie Jones) a martial arts expert (Masa Yamaguchi) a husband-and-wife team (Manu Bennett and Dasi Ruz) a monstrous killer who doesn't do much more than grunt (Nathan Jones) and others known only as The Italian The German and other monikers quickly forgotten. Enter the sole American Jack Conrad (Steve Austin) who's in a South American prison for some obscure reason and is recognized on TV by his wife (Madeleine West) who tries to save him. However it looks like Conrad is pretty good at helping himself. Don't expect the acting to be much more evolved than what could be seen among the World Wrestling Entertainment superstars especially since many of them were plucked from the ring to star in this morality tale. But Austin (who had in a strong cameo in Adam Sandler's Longest Yard) proves he has a sense of humor as well as strength. Vinnie Jones is ridiculously over-the-top as the Aussie who's the hand-picked winner of this game shown setting up alliances Survivor style only to turn on them later. The supporting cast are refreshingly entertaining but one-note caricatures both in the contest and running the contest. It's obvious that they aren't going to be around long but the actors do milk their tiny roles for every bit of attention they can get. Rick Hoffman as the brilliant camera mastermind of the project is both whiny sniveling and mean-spirited so when he joins some of the rest of the crew and suddenly develops a backbone and a conscience he ends up stealing the movie with his acerbic humor. But it's the understated American hero Conrad who holds a mirror up to the people who like to watch this stuff. Director Scott Wiper who co-wrote this story has also acted in similar movies like this (A Better Way to Die). It’s obvious he knows what he’s doing with The Condemned and develops a sense of voyeuristic angst like those of us who can't keep our eyes off a train wreck. Like the darkly subversive Belgian film Man Bites Dog the camera crew remains safely distant and remote until the reality directly involves them. Then the crew wonders "What the hell are we doing?" while the audience might be thinking "What the hell are we watching?" Much like Series 7: The Contenders Rollerball and other movies which show a dark and bloody near future this kind of reality doesn't seem too far away and maybe proves that movies which provide this type of gladiator spectacle target a certain segment of the human population who need to blow off steam.