As with its two predecessors the animated/live-action hybrid Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked is positioned to open during the holiday season when demand for family entertainment is high and standards are grievously low. How low you ask? The first two episodes in the franchise 2007’s Alvin and the Chipmunks and 2009’s Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel earned over $800 million worldwide combined. It hurt to write that last sentence.
You’d think such success would instill a certain pride of craftsmanship in the filmmakers but almost everything about Chipwrecked suggests the opposite from the hackneyed screenwriting to the lazy acting to the cheap-looking production design. The only aspect that truly impresses is the animation of the CG characters who are crisp and detailed and vibrant – a far cry from their human counterparts.
After sitting out much of the Squeakquel Jason Lee his schedule freed up following the cancellation of My Name Is Earl returns as the Chipmunks’ beleaguered manager Dave Seville. Also back for another quick payday as the primary nemesis Ian is David Cross no doubt ruing the three-picture contract he signed.
Dave Ian the Chipmunks and their female counterparts the Chipettes are aboard a luxury cruise liner when a mishap triggered by the ever-disobedient Alvin (Justin Long) casts them overboard and onto a remote tropical island where they embark on a series of sub-comic misadventures finding time in between for the odd ear-splitting rendition of a contemporary pop tune. Songs covered include Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance ” Pink’s “Trouble ” Destiny’s Child’s “Survivor ” Willow Smith’s “Whip My Hair ” and LMFAO’s “Party Rock Anthem.”
What’s always amazed me about these films is the impressive roster of actors recruited to voice the Chipmunks and Chipettes – including Long Anna Faris Amy Poehler and Christina Applegate – when digital helium added in post-production renders them all but unrecognizable. Aside from differences in pitch the characters’ voices are nearly indistinguishable from each other.
For those parents who find themselves forced to endure Chipwrecked the best thing I can say about it is that it will keeps your child’s brain occupied without doing serious damage to yours – provided you don’t get a concussion from repeated face-palming.
WHAT IT’S ABOUT?
At his high school’s commencement ceremony socially awkward class valedictorian Denis Cooverman uses his graduation speech to declare his love for hottie head cheerleader Beth Cooper a girl with whom he’s never actually had a conversation. When Beth unexpectedly shows up at his graduation party — followed shortly by her sadistic coked-out Army cadet boyfriend -- Denis is swept up in a series of escapades he won’t soon forget. That is if he makes it through the night alive.
WHO’S IN IT?
Hayden Panettiere star of NBC’s Heroes goes bravely against type to play — you guessed it — a cheerleader. In the role of her geeky onscreen counterpart is relative newcomer Paul Rust.
Not much unfortunately. Teen comedies in the post-Superbad era — even the PG-13 ones — can’t survive on merely playing to tired high-school cinematic stereotypes which I Love You Beth Cooper does in spades. Panettiere is appealing as a bright-eyed cheerleader whose perky exterior hides a bad-girl streak but she doesn’t quite project that unattainable quality the role seems to call for. She’s more like the superhot girl-next-door who you think is attainable but probably isn’t. Rust meanwhile attempts to compensate for the flat material he’s given by overplaying virtually every joke — to the point at which you’ll actually root for his antagonists to pummel him without mercy.
With its promising opening scene Beth Cooper shows the potential to be something sly and clever -- a high-school comedy in the vein of Alexander Payne’s Election — but instead develops disappointingly into a bland turgid knock-off of an ‘80s John Hughes flick.
The opening valedictorian speech in which Denis cooks his own goose by singling out various dysfunctional classmates — including a bully an anorexic and his closeted best friend — for public acknowledgment is achingly funny.
A saucy shower scene later in the film in which a side view of Panettiere’s naked breast is briefly revealed should at least keep the boys around until the third act. Maybe.