Guard your orifices!
The Host may be a CW-style variation of it, but Stephenie Meyer's story of alien Souls invading the Earth follows a long and rich sci-fi tradition: that of militant extraterrestrials violently taking over human bodies. The mechanics of these body intrusions may vary — some implant themselves in the ears, others in the GI tract, others in the womb — but one thing is clear. These aliens really, really want to get up and close and personal with humans, with varying degrees of discomfort for the host.
Stephenie Meyer’s ‘The Host’ Vs. Bong Joon-ho’s ‘The Host’: A Soul/Seoul Connection?
So to help you avoid implantation yourself, we've given you an anatomical breakdown of where exactly you can find each type of invader in a typical human body. Sharpen your scalpels and check out this infographic:
Click on the image above for to get a larger view. And start taking notes from our handy key. Knowledge is your best defense!
1. Brain: Compared to some of these others, the way the Souls take over human bodies in The Host is pretty gentle. Via a surgical slit in the back of the neck, a Soul — a little light-up creature that looks like the plasma balls at a science museum you liked to touch when you were a kid — enters your nervous system and moves toward the neocortex, assuming all cognitive functions and erasing the personality of its host.
2. Nose: Technically, the tiny aliens in Meet Dave have built a spaceship that looks and sounds exactly like a human being (or at least a really awkward Eddie Murphy). They use its eyes as viewports, its mouth as a gangplank, and when they need to make a really rapid exit they get themselves snorted out of its nose. The scary thing, is that they're small enough to invade the noses of actual humans as well. Yeah, you might want to get that lingering sinus infection checked out...
‘The Host’: Let’s Talk About That Ending — SPOILERS
3. Ears: Khan Noonien Singh (Ricardo Montalban) used a Ceti Eel to extract information from Commander Chekov (Walter Koenig) and Captain Tyrell (Paul Winfield) in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. The eel, a native of barren wasteland Ceti Alpha V, burrows into a human's ear and all the way into his or her brain. Once there, it renders the host completely vulnerable to suggestion. Meaning that Khan could tell Chekov and Tyrell exactly what he'd want them to do, and they would do it no matter what.
4. Mouth: Time-traveling Romulan freighter captain Nero (Eric Bana) in 2009's Star Trek was a kindred spirit of Khan in terms of using alien parasites to bend human prisoners to his will. His Centaurian slug, however, enters its host through the mouth, then tunnels in toward the brain stem. Nero was able to use one to get Capt. Christopher Pike (Bruce Greenwood) to reveal all of Starfleet's defense codes.
5. Chest: The parasitic aliens of LV-423 in Alien begin their takeover of the human body by wrapping their tentacles around a person's head and hugging the face. When it suddenly departs, you think you're free. But actually it's deposited an egg inside you that will incubate in your chest cavity, until suddenly it bursts out when you're chillin' with your space-trucker friends.
6. Womb: Dr. Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace) had unprotected sex with her lover Charlie (Logan Marshall-Green) while exploring a mysterious alien world. So the possibility of getting pregnant was already very real. But what she didn't realize was that Charlie had been infected with an extraterrestrial virus that was rewriting his genetic code. And so he didn't impregnate her with a human child but with a rapidly growing alien parasite that lodged in her womb. Not many would have the fortitude to perform a C-section on herself to abort this unwanted pregnancy like Dr. Shaw did.
7. Hand: Okay, this isn't really an extraterrestrial parasite, but it is a condition known as "Alien Hand Syndrome," in which a person can't control the actions of their limbs. In the case of Dr. Strangelove that meant his hand kept spontaneously giving the fascist salute, which we suspect may have been a Freudian slip in mime form for the ex-Nazi scientist. Laughs aside, it is a real condition. Think of it like a much more embarrassing version of "restless leg syndrome," if anything can be more embarassing than "restless leg syndrome."
Follow Christian Blauvelt on Twitter @Ctblauvelt
[Photo Credit: Hollywood.com Illustration]
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I’ll be honest—the extent of my baseball knowledge comes from Rookie of the Year. But Derek Jeter 3K, the in-the-works TV-movie the Yankee shortstop’s mission towards his three thousandth career hit (I know that’s impressive thanks to Bernie Mac) is something that breathes intrigue.
The project is backed by HBO Sports and MLB Productions, and is expected to air on HBO within weeks of the accomplishment.
In addition to covering Jeter’s experiences, the film will include interviews with many of Jeter’s colleagues, associates and friends, including Hal Steinbrenner, Joe Torre, Mariano Rivera, Joe Girardi, Curtis Granderson, Dave Winfield, Minka Kelly and Billy Crystal—I know those last two.
The special will be available on HBO during a prime time slot, as well as on HBO On Demand and HBO Go.
Source: Hollywood Reporter
Pitt and Aniston friends seek a reconciliation
Friends of split Hollywood supercouple Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are convinced their break-up is temporary--and just the chance to step back before they start a family. Movie star Pitt revealed he was ready for kids in several interviews last year, and sources close to the pair insist their much-publicized split is a chance for both to consider their future together. One family friend tells People magazine, "They didn't want people to think the separation is a bad thing. The decision was good for them. They're getting along. They really care about each other. The separation is a step back to see if their relationship is going to be forever or if it's not. They're searching for the answer, which is not an easy one to come up with." Pitt hinted at the trial separation last summer in an interview with Vanity Fair. He said, "Neither of us wants to be the spokesperson for a happy marriage...Jen and I always made a pact, that we'll see where this is going." The speculation about a possible reconciliation has been fuelled by the fact that neither Pitt nor Aniston has visited a divorce lawyer to discuss a permanent split. After announcing their split on Jan.7, the couple have been living together in their newly-renovated Hollywood Hills home.
Five alive for Sideways
Wine-drinking comedy Sideways took another step towards Oscar glory last night after claiming five top honors at the 10th annual Critics' Choice Awards. The movie claimed the night's best picture prize, while actors Thomas Haden Church and Virginia Madsen took home the event's best supporting actor and actress honors. Martin Scorsese picked up a best director award for The Aviator and another Oscars favorite, Jamie Foxx, claimed yet another best actor prize for Ray Charles biopic Ray.
Hilton and Richie banned from school
Socialites-turned-reality TV stars Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie have been banned from a New Jersey school after announcing plans to film a segment of their new show there. The high-living duo had hoped to film an episode of The Simple Life at the JP Cleary Middle School in Minotola, but governors aborted the project after being deluged with protests from parents. Hilton and Richie were planning to work as substitute teachers at the school--and be filmed trying to keep order. One angry parent says, "Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie's reputation leaves a lot to be desired. What if one of them were to let slip an obscenity. Many parents were left puzzled when the idea was first raised."
Springer to launch radio show
Jerry Springer is embarking on a fresh challenge to front his own three-hour daily radio talk show, while continuing to present his infamous Jerry Springer Show. The 60-year-old presenter will cover a range of serious topics at a local Cincinnati radio station initially, with the intention of spreading the show across America on Clear Channel-owned radio stations. Springer enthuses, "I get another profession--that's wonderful. It's a job with some substance and we'll talk about serious things in the world, but it's going to be fun as well." Springer believes he's eminently qualified for the role--having worked as a lawyer, mayor, TV news anchor and television presenter. He says, "At least on paper, you couldn't have better preparation for the job of a talk show host. You have substance, skill of broadcasting, and being an entertainer."
Shue goes back to university
Leaving Las Vegas star Elisabeth Shue has joined the ranks of Hollywood's cleverest minds after completing a political science degree at Harvard University. The actress took a year out of her acting career to finish the degree she started at Wellesley College long before she became an actress. She says, "I needed to finish at Harvard and I had one semester left. It was just something I had to do which I felt was important to complete. Frankly I was really looking forward to a break and reinvigorating my mind and learning and just to see what it was like to go back to school as a woman, and how would I respond to learning. It was really good to want to be in school, to choose your classes--because they're difficult. I chose the best classes and had the most incredible professors and I had so much work but I welcomed it because I was old enough to know that that's what it's all about."
Russo injured at the People's Choice Awards
Hollywood actress Rene Russo is recovering a bruised head, after getting into an accident backstage at Sunday's People's Choice Awards. After giving Mel Gibson his favorite drama award for The Passion of the Christ, Russo made her way down the stairs to the Distinctive Assets celebrity gift room to collect her $15,000 presenter's goody bag. But before arriving at the doors of the room, Russo banged her head and sustained a bloody cut over her right eyebrow. She was then taken to a nearby hospital to get stitches.
Jackson infuriates pal with boxing excursion
Pulp Fiction star Samuel L. Jackson left one of his famous pals infuriated, after sneaking out of her wedding reception to attend a boxing match. The Hollywood actor was one of many celebrities--including Natalie Cole, Vivica A. Fox and Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton in attendance at TV personality Star Jones' wedding to banker Al Reynolds on Nov. 13. But rather than stick around for the dinner after the ceremony, Jackson and baseball star Dave Winfield made their way to Madison Square Garden to enjoy two heavyweight bouts, returning in time to hit the dance floor for the last two hours of the reception. Jackson, whose wife LaTanya Richardson was a bridesmaid at the wedding, says, "I didn't get a Christmas gift because I left and went to the fight. My wife got a gift, I didn't get anything--and I was told that's why I didn't get anything." Jackson adds that Donald Trump, also a guest at the wedding, had planned to meet them, but didn't make it, while comedian Chris Rock had a few observations about the ceremony. He says, "Chris Rock and I were sitting there watching the wedding... and observing the fact that guys are only interested in two weddings in their lives; yours and your daughter's. The rest of 'em are kinda intrusions in your life."
Hoffman reveals Streisand's sex life
Dustin Hoffman has exposed an intimate secret Barbra Streisand told him on the set of Meet The Fockers--she and her actor husband James Brolin have sex six times a week. The veteran movie stars teamed up to play husband and wife in the sequel to 2001 hit Meet The Parents, and decided the best way to achieve on-screen chemistry was to bond off camera. And Hoffman was delighted to discover the sum of his and Streisand's weekly sex routines added up to every day--even though he could only make a single contribution to the tally. He says, "Just shortly after we started working on the movie, we confessed to each other. We were saying, 'So how much sex do you get?' And we confessed that between the two of us, we got seven days a week of sex. I was once, and she was six times."
Retraction: Steve Bing never denied fathering Liz Hurley's child
On January 6, WENN reported that in 2001, "[Steve] Bing denied [Elizabeth] Hurley's claims he was the father of her then-unborn child." WENN was subsequently advised that Bing never denied he was the father of Hurley's child. Indeed, Bing himself initiated paternity proceedings to establish his legal right to provide generous support for the child. WENN is sorry for the error and pleased to set the record straight.
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