In just about every one of Kevin Hart's scenes in Ride Along, there's a joke that is just aching to find its way out of the diminutive, rascally comic actor. Hart is a small-scale physical comedian — of the same ilk as Jack Black — who puts nuclear-degree energy into his facial contortions, anatomical outbursts, and the delivery of every gag in general. If only he had material that was crafted with the same energy.
Unfortunately, nothing else about Ride Along seems at all "hard at work." Not the script, which pads a lifeless story with lazy comedy, and certainly not his screen partner Ice Cube, whose only stage direction seems to be "frown, and be taller than Kevin Hart." So lifeless is Ice Cube that even his machismo-obsessed straight man bit doesn't really work. Instead of the virile and intimidating "bad cop," he comes off as a disapproving middle aged dad without much to show for his own life.
But the script pairs the wily, overzealous high school security guard and video game junkie Ben (Hart) with no-nonsense lawman James (Ice Cube) on the titular ride along, with the scrappy cop-wannabe hoping to prove to the force veteran that he's good enough to marry the latter's younger sister. In earnest, he's not. Ben never puts any respectable effort into learning the tools of the trade, insisting on employing his amateur style and controlling the radio despite his proclamations that he wants, and deserves, James' trust. And James is no saint either — he's irresponsible on crime scenes, violent with perps, and disgruntled to the point of being unable to work with anybody else on the force. These are not good police officers... of course, you'll say, this is a comedy. But where are the laughs, then?
They're not absent entirely, you just have to look for them. In a movie so focused with big, broad humor, it's the smaller comedy that actually lands best. Hart's background mutterings and fumblings, his emoticon-laden texts to girlfriend Angela (Tika Sumpter, whose only stage direction seems to be "smile, and never wear a full outfit of clothing"), and a bizarre repetition of the word "weird" from supporting player John Leguizamo. All good for unexpected chuckles, while jokes like Hart facing off with a pre-teen or being blown backwards into a brick wall after firing a large gun are all lazy, familiar, and flat.
Structurally, the script is a mess. Ride Along spends far too much time on set up — we get it, Hart and his soon-to-be-brother-in-law Ice Cube don't get along — and far too much time on wrap-up — there's a gigantic, dramatic warehouse shootout that, in any other movie, would be the climax, but there's plenty more to go after that — without any cohesive middle to make the movie feel like... a movie.
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Hart, who leaps at every comic opportunity like a kangaroo (wallaby would be more appropriate), is suited just right for a buddy cop comedy, but he needs something fresh with which to work — a real character, an interesting story, actually funny jokes. Even just one of these would be fine!
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Best Motion Picture - Drama
The Aviator WINNER!
Million Dollar Baby
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama
Scarlett Johansson, A Love Song For Bobby Long
Nicole Kidman, Birth
Imelda Staunton, Vera Drake
Hilary Swank, Million Dollar Baby WINNER!
Uma Thurman, Kill Bill Vol. 2
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama
Javier Bardem, The Sea Inside
Don Cheadle, Hotel Rwanda
Johnny Depp, Finding Neverland
Leonardo Dicaprio, The Aviator WINNER!
Liam Neeson, Kinsey
Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
The Phantom of the Opera
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
Annette Bening, Being Julia WINNER!
Ashley Judd, De-Lovely
Emmy Rossum, The Phantom of the Opera
Kate Winslet, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Renee Zellweger, Bridget Jones: the Edge of Reason
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture -Musical or Comedy
Jim Carrey, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Jamie Foxx, Ray WINNER!
Paul Giamatti, Sideways
Kevin Kline, De-Lovely
Kevin Spacey, Beyond the Sea
Best Director - Motion Picture
Clint Eastwood, Million Dollar Baby WINNER!
Marc Forster, Finding Neverland
Mike Nichols, Closer
Alexander Payne, Sideways
Martin Scorsese, The Aviator
Best Foreign Language Film
The Chorus (Les Choristes), (France)
House of Flying Daggers, (China)
The Motorcycle Diaries, (Brazil)
The Sea Inside, (Spain) WINNER!
A Very Long Engagement, (France)
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Cate Blanchet, The Aviator
Laura Linney, Kinsey
Virginia Madsen, Sideways
Natalie Portman, Closer WINNER!
Meryl Streep, The Manchurian Candidate
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
David Carradine, Kill Bill Vol. 2
Thomas Haden Church, Sideways
Jamie Foxx, Collateral
Morgan Freeman, Million Dollar Baby
Clive Owen, Closer WINNER!
Best Screenplay - Motion Picture
Charlie Kaufman, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
John Logan, The Aviator
David Magee, Finding Neverland
Patrick Marber, Closer
Alexander Payne & Jim Taylor, Sideways WINNER!
Best Original Score - Motion Picture
Clint Eastwood, Million Dollar Baby
Jan A.P. Kaczmarek, Finding Neverland
Rolfe Kent, Sideways
Howard Shore, The Aviator WINNER!
Hans Zimmer, Spanglish
Best Original Song - Motion Picture
"Accidentally In Love" -- Shrek 2
Music & Lyrics By: Adam Duritz, Dan Vickery, David Immergluck, Matthew Malley & David Bryson
"Believe" - The Polar Express
Music & Lyrics By: Glen Ballard & Alan Silvestri
"Learn To Be Lonely" - The Phantom of the Opera
Music By: Andrew Lloyd Webber
Lyrics By: Charles Hart
"Million Voices" - Hotel Rwanda
Music By: Wyclef Jean, Jerry "Wonder" Duplessis, Andrea Guerra
Lyrics By: Wyclef Jean
"Old Habits Die Hard" - Alfie
Music & Lyrics By: Mick Jagger & David A. Stewart WINNER!
Best Television Series - Drama
Nip/Tuck (FX) WINNER!
The Sopranos (HBO)
Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Drama
Edie Falco, The Sopranos
Jennifer Garner, Alias
Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit WINNER!
Christine Lahti, Jack & Bobby
Joely Richardson, Nip/Tuck
Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Drama
Michael Chiklis, The Shield
Denis Leary, Rescue Me
Julian Mcmahon, Nip/Tuck
Ian McShane, Deadwood WINNER!
James Spader, Boston Legal
Best Television Series - Musical or Comedy
Arrested Development (Fox)
Desperate Housewives (ABC) WINNER!
Sex and the City (HBO)
Will & Grace (NBC)
Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy
Marcia Cross, Desperate Housewives
Teri Hatcher, Desperate Housewives WINNER!
Felicity Huffman, Desperate Housewives
Debra Messing, Will & Grace
Sarah Jessica Parker, Sex And The City
Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy
Jason Bateman, Arrested Development WINNER!
Zach Braff, Scrubs
Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm
Matt Leblanc, Joey
Tony Shalhoub, Monk
Charlie Sheen, Two And A Half Men
Best Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made For Television
American Family - Journey of Dreams (PBS)
Iron Jawed Angels (HBO)
The Life and Death of Peter Sellers (HBO) WINNER!
The Lion in Winter (Showtime)
Something the Lord Made (HBO)
Best Performance by an Actress in a Mini-Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television
Glenn Close, The Lion in Winter WINNER!
Blythe Danner, Back When We Were Grown Ups
Julianna Margulies, The Grid
Miranda Richardson, The Lost Prince
Hilary Swank, Iron Jawed Angels
Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or A Motion Picture Made for Television
Mos Def, Something the Lord Made
Jamie Foxx, Redemption
William H. Macy, The Wool Cap
Geoffrey Rush, The Life and Death of Peter Sellers WINNER!
Patrick Stewart, The Lion in Winter
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Drea De Matteo, The Sopranos
Anjelica Huston, Iron Jawed Angels WINNER!
Nicolette Sheridan, Desperate Housewives
Charlize Theron, The Life and Death of Peter Sellers
Emily Watson, The Life and Death of Peter Sellers
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Sean Hayes, Will & Grace
Michael Imperioli, The Sopranos
Jeremy Piven, Entourage
Oliver Platt, Huff
William Shatner, Boston Legal WINNER!