S5:E6 While this season of 30 Rock has failed to achieve the uncanny perfection of the show’s first few seasons, it never ceases to amuse and give us more of the characters we all love and constantly cringe at. This episode was no different, playing on Liz’s inability to solve her own problems, Jack’s need to have someone who constantly looks up to and depends on him, and Tracy’s and Jenna’s incredible self-centered insanity.
The main crux of the episode is Jack and Liz’s relationship. Avery makes a long overdue actual appearance on the show and she’s not happy about Jack’s relationship with Liz. But Jack explains that he seeks Drive, Intelligence, Humility, Chaos (or DIHC, pronounced “dick”) in a mentee (Liz), when he says, “I’m looking for DIHC, and I’ll take it anywhere I can find it.” Dick jokes never get old. Avery’s not convinced and she says Liz needs to graduate just as a hormone mood swing approaches – she announces it like the Hulk and throws everything off the table before throwing a bowl of whipped cream at Jack’s face. Got the message Donaghy?
But as always, Liz has another unsolvable problem. Her dad is coming to town without her mother. At first Liz is excited, her “Cooking for One” class was canceled due to the teacher’s suicide, so she’s totally free all week – plus she can finally show that ol’ doorman that she does to have friends. Neener, neener. Only Liz Lemon could outshine her own teacher’s suicide with her own issues.
Meanwhile, the crazies are getting all riled up over obituaries. While Kenneth gives a tour of the editing room he sees Tracy’s obit pop up on one of the monitors, but when he breaks down another page lets him know that NBC News pre-records obit for important people and they are just updating Tracy’s. Of course Kenneth wants to show Tracy the tape, and while I thought the tape was illuminating (okay, it was just hilarious Tracy madness), Tracy thinks that his status as a nine-time “Worst Representation of a Black Man” winner and the record holder for the most FCC fines are probably not a good thing. As he storms out, Jenna rushes in and learns about the obit policy, of course now she wants to see hers too.
Lemon goes to Jack’s office to get advice about her dad, but he drops the Avery bomb. They’ll have to dissolve their personal relationship. Avery’s especially threatened because she’s put on additional “boob weight” that causes her to fall over. (Like a Barbie? Yeah, we can all relate to that, right ladies? Yeah, I didn’t think so.) With that, Liz is forced to solve her own problems. This is not going to be pretty.
Liz’s dad arrives at her apartment sans glasses and plus an Ed Hardy shirt. (Okay, and is he planning to fist pump with Pauly D and The Situation later? Not a good look, Mr. Lemon.) It turns out Papa Lemon told Mama Lemon that he was off to a colonoscopy, but really the perfect couple (Buzz Aldrin be damned) is having trouble in paradise. Liz cuts the crap, calling out her dad for making up marital problems so that he can pick up women in the city. She says he can’t stay at her apartment for his “gentleman’s intermission.” He goes to stay at his friend’s place – his late wife’s hospital bed is still in his apartment, so he can sleep there after they do a push-up and hit up a bar called “Swingles.” Yuck.
Liz calls Jack to get some advice, but Avery answers. Ruh-roh. Liz tells her what the deal is and Avery gets catty, pointing out that Liz shouldn’t be talking about these things with her boss. It was only a matter of time before Jack and Liz’s odd BFF relationship caused an issue with his lady friend.
With Lemon out, Jack is looking for a new mentee, and he’s finally giving Jonathan a chance. (I think the poor kid got so excited he almost passed out.) Jack asks Jonathan to cut Jack’s pinky and take it to his lawyer in order to begin the process, but he won’t do it. “You won’t be perfect anymore!” He’s out. Then Jack lends him some “fatherly” advice, “Ambition is the willingness to kill the ones you love and eat them to stay alive.” Duh, assistant-boy, it’s on his throw pillow. Pay attention, why dontcha. The kid has failed the first rule of DIHC – Drive.
Jack finds Tracy sitting in his “sadness spotlight” and Tracy confesses that he saw his obit and he didn’t like what he saw. Jack is surprised and says, “Don’t you ever Google yourself?” Apparently, Tracy thinks that sounds just as dirty as I always have – flashback to the day before when Liz was super cool about him “Googling himself” in her office. With that, Jack realizes that Tracy can be his new mentee. He decides that he’s going to help Tracy “change his headline,” but Tracy rejects Jack’s help saying he doesn’t need him. Jack hangs his head because Tracy has failed the test of humility. (But what about the intelligence part? Did he really pass that part? Come on.)
Of course, just as I suspected, Jenna isn’t on the list of NBC News’ “important people” – but Kim Jong il is (and Jenna’s never even heard of “her”). Someone should have put her on the list just to avoid any insanity that this sort of slight is sure to bring. Jenna’s taking her obit issue to Jack, and he realizes that maybe she could be his new mentee (Dr. Drew called her “unfixable” so she could just be the Everest of mentees). He helps her try to figure out why Tracy gets an obit and she doesn’t (he’s got all those multi-million dollar movies and the only all-Giraffe basketball team, the New York Necks), of course Jenna thinks the problem is NBC News, not her accomplishments. Jack dismisses her, saying she’s failed the test of Intelligence (and humility! Hello! Seriously Jack, are you really going that batty without Lemon?).
Liz is trying to work out her problems without Jack’s help, theorizing out loud to Pete in the writer’s kitchen when Suri (who, by the way has been conspicuously missing all season) chimes in with her go-to old man repellent: asking them “Who’s older? Me or your daughter?” Lemon’s wheels are instantly turning, and she puts Suri’s advice into motion. She gussies herself up (but she kind of looks more like Anne Bancroft in The Miracle Worker) and goes to Swingles to take Suri’s “younger than your daughter” comment to a very awkward extreme. Her dad takes the bait and hits on her, calling himself part of the FBI (Female Body Inspectors) – further proof that men never grow out of these things. Liz reveals herself but the bar ends up turning on her instead of her dad. No “blammo” this time, Lemon.
Jenna and Tracy are still on their self-serving missions to improve their obits. Jenna is recording her own, complete with a 2010 death date and a song she writes and sings to herself. (It’s no “Candle in The Wind,” I can tell you that.) Tracy’s trying to change his headline, but he’s got no ideas. Just then, he hears a story about a heroic cat on The Today Show and decides he needs to save the heroic cat so he can be a double hero. (Math! It’s not just for numbers!)
Tracy’s enlisted Kenneth to attack the cat (with a hammer?! Kenneth, where is your brain?) so he can run in and save it, but as Kenneth runs off toward the cat, Tracy hears Anne Curry on The Today Show saying he should win the Oscar for his latest Indie film. He suddenly remembers that he left his son in Atlantic City (holy shit) and runs off, leaving Kenneth to terrorize the hero cat. Luckily (for her, we all know that while Kenneth would slaughter a pig in a second, he wouldn’t hit a little kitty), Jenna shows up just in time to take Tracy’s set up, smacking Kenneth on the head with a fire extinguisher and claiming the double hero credit. It’s cool, you can just “pour jewels” in her coffin when she dies.
Jack calls Avery in, trying to use her as his new mentee. She spots it immediately, and makes her case for having her life together (her closet has been on the cover of Organized Monthly…twice). Of course she fails the final, most crucial test of Chaos. He says he can’t find anyone else to mentor, “Lemon has just the right amount of DIHC for me.” (That’s what she said?) He says he needs Lemon because the younger generation just isn’t cutting it – just ask the hipster in a suit who won’t cut his hair and BT-Dubs, his Ironic Kickball League is practicing later. That's so on-point it hurts.
Avery calls Liz back to Jack’s office, finally understanding that Jack and Liz need each other – it’s a symbiotic relationship. (And boy does Liz need Jack, she confesses she’s wearing a Duane Reade bag as underwear. Gross, even for Liz.) Avery’s briefed Jack on Liz’s problem, and Jack makes a threatening phone call to Liz’s dad and Bronxes it up pretending to yell at him for hooking up with his girlfriend. Liz’s rushes to pack up and run back to his loving wife as he listens to Jack’s threats through his ancient cell phone (seriously, Papa Lemon, my great grandpa even has a better phone than that). Jack and Lemon share a smile and all is well again as Liz asks Jack to look at some “weird thing” on her leg. Ah, friendship.
A discussion with conservative broadcaster Bill O'Reilly on The View spilled over when the controversial Fox News anchor argued against the Islamic centre in downtown Manhattan.
The political pundit insisted it was highly insensitive to build the place of worship so close to where the city's Twin Towers crumbled in 2001, after Muslim extremists flew two planes into the high rise buildings, exclaiming, "Muslims killed us on 9/11."
But his outburst angered Goldberg and prompted the actress and her co-host Joy Behar to march out of the studio.
Their protest was criticised by fellow host and show producer Barbara Walters, who told the studio and television audience, "This should not happen. We should be able to have discussions without washing our hands and walking off stage."
After several minutes, both Goldberg and Behar returned to the stage to continue the debate with O'Reilly.
The actor and his team of volunteers and experts were forced to temporarily abandon the HRO's Petionville Camp and relocate to a club gymnasium in Port-au-Prince until the storm passed on Sunday.
No major injuries have been reported but the heavy winds and rain destroyed a hospital, pharmacy and many medical supplies, causing an estimated $350,000 (£233,300) of damage.
Despite the setback, J/P HRO staffers continue to provide medical support and services for the homeless 50,000 living in the Petionville Camp. Other camps in Port-au-Prince and across the country did not weather the storm as effectively, as at least five fatalities have been reported and major flooding continues to devastate the region.
Penn says, "It has been a very difficult 24 hours for our team and the community they serve in Petionville, but they have weathered this storm with courage, and continue to perform heroic and vital services for the people of Haiti, even under the most dire of conditions.
"The combined efforts of J/P HRO and the U.S. Military dramatically minimised harm and damage to the largest tent camp of internally displaced persons."
And the actor, who founded the organisation, is firing back at groups who criticised his warnings about the storms: "Drainage mitigation and relocations that had been previously criticised by some U.N. organisations proved their value. We have been shouting for months about the severity of the hurricane season, and this underscores the importance for the need of sustained and smart support in the region."
Penn and his J/P Haitian Relief Organization partners are asking friends and supporters to help rebuild the lost infrastructure and to continue their efforts in Haiti.
Earlier this week (begs20Sep10), the sports superstar issued a statement vehemently denying a story in America's In Touch Weekly magazine which suggested he hired former hooker Irma Nici in 2007.
As promised in his initial statement, Beckham instructed his lawyers to kick off a series of legal battles to combat the claims, filing papers at Los Angeles Superior Court on Friday (24Sep10).
In the documents, Beckham's team targets editors at the magazine, executives at Bauer Publishing and 26-year-old Nici for libel, slander and intentional infliction of emotional distress.
Lawyers have reportedly located the ex-hooker at a hotel in New York, where they are waiting to serve her with a writ, according to Britain's News of the World.
The sportsman tried to put on a brave face at an L.A. Galaxy soccer match just hours after the suit was filed on Friday, but as he made his way from the pitch to the locker room, a Galaxy supporter shouted "Stop with the prostitutes", prompting a fuming Beckham to stride over and demand the fan to repeat himself.
In a video obtained by the News of the World, Beckham is heard growling, "Do you want to say it again? Do you want to say it again?", before looking disgusted as he recognises the man is wearing his own team's shirt, adding "You got a Galaxy shirt on! You got a Galaxy shirt on!"
He then storms off, but turns around again to snap, "Say it to my face."
New mum Milla Jovovich and mum-to-be Ali Larter's new film is the latest 3D movie to land the top spot in a year full of three-dimensional successes.
The film, the fourth in the Resident Evil franchise, took in $27.7 million (£18.5 million) over the weekend to debut at the top.
It's the best opening for a Resident Evil movie.
Former number one movies Takers and The American land distant second and third spots respectively on the new U.S. box office countdown.
The famously short-tempered Oscar-winner was chatting to broadcaster Mark Lawson for BBC Radio 4's Front Row show, when he was asked if he purposely added hints of the Irish dialect to his portrayal of the English folklore hero.
An infuriated Crowe angrily questioned Lawson's opinion - before swearing at him.
Lawson asked the star, "The accent you've given him (Robin Hood). There are hints to me of Irish, but what.... were you thinking in those terms?"
To which Crowe replied, "You've got dead ears mate, you've seriously dead ears if you think that's an Irish accent... B**locks."
And the interview didn't get any better when the presenter tried to change his line of questioning, with Crowe returning to the issue of the accent.
The Gladiator star said, "I'm a little dumbfounded you could possibly find any Irish in that character, that's kind of ridiculous anyway but it's your show."
When Lawson tried to calm the actor by asking if the accent was supposed to hail from northern England - where Robin Hood is said to have grown up - Crowe snarled sarcastically, "No! I was going for an Italian (accent)... missed it? F**k me!"
The star then walked out of the interview, adding, "I don't get the Irish thing by the way. I don't get it at all."
The stars and Getty's wife Rosetta Millington are the brains behind GiveLove.org - a non-profit organisation geared towards helping the homeless.
The Brothers & Sisters star explains, "We have secured some land down in Haiti and we're building houses out of shipping containers that are weatherproof... You can donate and help us build homes for these people who really need our help right now.
"The big problem now is the hurricane season that's coming and the rain season that's coming and the fact that these people are just set up in these makeshift tents (made) out of sticks and wood and tape, and this stuff can't withstand the weather."
Getty and Arquette aren't the only stars doing what they can for the survivors of the earthquake - Demi Moore, Sean Penn and Ben Stiller are among the celebrities currently on the ground in Haiti and Eva Longoria Parker has been applauded by charity groups for helping raise funds for sturdy tents to protect locals from the storms.
The retired sportsman has harboured a passion for pigeon racing for years and recently landed a TV deal to bring his hobby to the small screen in U.S. series Take on Tyson.
But the concept of the show has infuriated activists from the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) and they are calling on the show to be halted before filming starts in Brooklyn, New York next month (Apr10).
PETA general counsel Jeffrey Kerr says, "It is inherently cruel. The birds often end up lost in storms, being injured, or just becoming so exhausted that they're unable to fly."
Tyson's show is already under investigation by the New York District Attorney's office over allegations it involves illegal gambling and Kerr is hoping state authorities ban the series from going to air.
He adds, "Pigeon racing as an industry involves gambling. That's why people do it, to make money."
However, bosses at the Animal Planet network, who bought the rights to Tyson's show, insist the complaints are unfounded.
Representative Patricia Kollappallil tells the New York Daily News, "There have never been any plans for wagering on the pigeon race. (The birds will be) cherished and respected by their owners, including Mr. Tyson."
The movie star and activist was among the first celebrities to jet to Haiti to aid the relief effort and insists he can't wait to get back.
Speaking to U.S. news show Extra just before his planned flight back to Haiti's capital Port-au-Prince, the worried Oscar winner says, "We have to save Haiti."
During his recent three-week stint in Haiti, Penn slept in a tent and survived on just a few hours of sleep a night, but a return to that hardship will be worth it if he can help get homeless Haitians to safety before the rains come.
He adds, "Relocation is, right now, the primary focus."
And the actor wants more people to join him: "You can come to Haiti and do work if you're a doctor or a relief worker or if you can write a cheque... Everything helps."
Penn admits the suffering he has seen in Haiti could keep him away from Hollywood for some time - and that means he might be forced to quit a planned Three Stooges movie.
He explains, "I'm not in a very funny state of mind right now."
The movie star's return to Haiti comes as a legal matter hangs over him - on Friday (19Feb10), Penn was charged with criminal battery and vandalism following a violent run-in with a paparazzo in California last year (09).
The Diff'rent Strokes star agreed to appear on America's The Insider in a bid to set the record straight about his arrest following a domestic dispute at his home in January (10) involving wife Shannon Price.
He was handed a suspended sentence of 31 and a half days in jail and ordered to attend a domestic violence course after pleading guilty to one count of domestic violence criminal mischief at a court hearing on 8 February (10).
But when the show's guest lawyer Lisa Bloom asked him whether he attacked his wife, Coleman lost his temper - and began an expletive-filled rant at the attorney.
He shouted, "She's (Bloom) pushing my buttons and I don't like her now, the next thing I'm going to do is leave, f**k you all."
Coleman jumped off his stool and stormed off the set, reportedly cursing all the way to his waiting car outside the studio.
The Insider host Lara Spencer later admitted she was shocked by the outburst, telling Bloom, "I thought he was almost going to get violent with you. I got scared for you Lisa."