Crystal Lake. Dumb kids in the woods. Sex drugs booze. A hulking maniac in a hockey mask wielding a machete. Yeah that about sums it up.
Are you kidding? The new Jason Derek Mears probably fares best among the actors because he doesn’t have a single word of dialogue. Everyone else unfortunate enough to stumble in front of the camera – Jared Padalecki Amanda Righetti Danielle Panabaker Travis Van Winkle – is basically fodder for the slaughter. Some of them get naked. Most of them get dead. Some die more gorily than others. No one dies quickly enough. Having previously (and woefully) directed the 2003 remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre helmer Marcus Nispel does his best – and worst – to resurrect yet another popular horror franchise from the past. He also adds absolutely nothing new to the formula. Quite frankly anyone could’ve directed this film. Judging by the results anyone did. This is the 12th Friday the 13th film for those keeping score at home and with any luck it’ll be the last. Of course it won’t be. But we can always hope.
We can understand the resurrections of Leatherface Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers. But one-hit wonder the Miner? Yes pickaxe-wielding mad miner Harry Warden appears to be on the rampage again. The residents of Harmony believe police fatally shot Warden after he picked off kids partying in the mine. But his body was never found. If Warden really is dead who’s now driving his pickaxe through the heads of those connected with all the mine murders? Could it be Tom Hanniger (Jensen Ackles) the mine owner’s son responsible for the accident that turned Harry into a homicidal maniac? Or could it be Sheriff Axel Palmer (Kerr Smith)? Caught in the middle is Sarah (Jamie King) who married Axel after Tom dumped her and fled Harmony. Worse the killer set his sights on Sarah so he can finished what was started long ago down in Tunnel No. 5. Bearing in mind the damsel in distress must remain standing it’s more important that King can bust some moves than explore the emotional and psychological toll of being victimized by an unstoppable force of evil. Luckily King prevails over her initial jitters in order to swing a mean shovel when under attack. On the other hand wimps Ackles (Supernatural) wears nothing but a pained expression on his face while Smith (Dawson’s Creek) is all bark and no bite. Horror fans though will get a kick out of seeing ageless tough-guy Tom Atkins take on the Miner. Oh and as for that glasses-fogging moment that’s mandatory for a 3-D chiller it’s Betsy Rue’s unenviable task to strip down to her birthday suit as Palmer’s high school sweetheart and rub what she’s got right in our faces. Does it matter that this My Bloody Valentine redo fails miserably as a whodunit? Or that the only time you’re on the edge of your seat is during a tense supermarket confrontation between King and the Miner? This remake exists solely to gross you out by throwing anything and everything at you in 3-D. Eyeballs pop out body parts drop to the floor blood and pieces of bone cover the screen -- to that end director Patrick Lussier doesn’t disappoint. Props to him for not giving us a scene-by-scene carbon copy of one of the earliest holiday-themed Halloween knockoff but the director falls short whenever he attempts to recreate his source material’s most nail-biting moments. So if its gore you want you got it; but if you want to be scared out of your wits give My Bloody Valentine the kiss off.
Movie audiences weren't afraid of a little blood and gore this weekend; on the contrary, they were compelled to find out who won the ultimate monster battle.
Freddy vs. Jason, which pits A Nightmare of Elm Street's steely-fingered Freddy against Friday the 13th's machete-wielding Jason, simply slaughtered the box office competition, debuting at No. 1 with a head-splittin' $36.4 million* and shoving last week's headliner, the police-drama S.W.A.T., down to second place with $18.6 million.
Combining the two horror franchises turned out to be a brilliant idea, generating more opening box office dollars than either individual series has seen lately. The last Friday the 13th installment, Jason X, debuted in 2002 at $6.6 million, while the last Elm Street chapter, Wes Craven's New Nightmare, opened in 1994 at $6.6 million as well.
"[Freddy vs. Jason] worked because it's a brand new series. It's an original movie with name recognition," Russell Schwartz, head of domestic marketing for New Line Cinema told The Associated Press. "We took it seriously and didn't turn it into Scary Movie. Not that it doesn't have humor, but we didn't want to go too campy."
Oscar-winning Kevin Costner's western saga Open Range premiered at No. 3 with a respectable $14.1 million, making it the second best opener of Costner's last five movies. Only the romantic Message in a Bottle topped Range's figure when it opened in 1999 at $16.7 million. Other recent Costner vehicles haven't fared as well: Dragonfly took $10.2 million, 3,000 Miles to Graceland $7.1 million, Thirteen Days $46,688 and For Love of the Game $13 million.
The body-switching comedy Freaky Friday took fourth place with $13.1 million, while the girl-powered Uptown Girls debuted in the fifth spot with $11.2 million. Other newcomers this week included the skateboarding laffer Grind, which premiered with a measly $2.6 million, and the underground comic book indie American Splendor, which debuted in limited release and took in $156,000.
Overall, box office grosses were up, up, up this weekend, nearly 4 percent from last weekend and a whopping 34 percent from the same weekend last year.
THE TOP TEN
New Line Cinema's R-rated horror fest Freddy vs. Jason spooked its way to the top spot with an ESTIMATED $36.4 million in 3,014 theaters. Its $12,085 per theater average was the highest of any movie playing wide this week.
Friday the 13th's Jason Voorhees leaves the cozy confines of Camp Crystal Lake for Elm Street, where he meets his most dangerous adversary yet--A Nightmare on Elm Street's Freddy Krueger. But this town only has room for one slasher.
Directed by Ronny Yu, it stars Robert Englund and Ken Kirzinger.
Sony Pictures' PG-13-rated S.W.A.T. dropped from the top spot to No. 2 in its second week with an ESTIMATED $18.6 million (-50%) in 3,220 theaters (+18 theaters; $5,776 per theater). The film, revolving around a newly trained S.W.A.T. team, has garnered $70 million so far.
Directed by Clark Johnson, it stars Colin Farrell, Samuel L. Jackson, LL Cool J and Michelle Rodriguez.
Buena Vista's R-rated Open Range moseyed into third place in its opening weekend with an ESTIMATED $14.1 million in 2,075 theaters, taking in an average of $6,795 per theater.
In the film, a posse of "freegrazers"--rogue cowboys who drive their own cattle--runs into trouble in prairie town run by a kingpin rancher.
Directed by and starring Kevin Costner, it also stars Robert Duvall, Annette Bening, Diego Luna and Michael Gambon.
Buena Vista's PG-rated Freaky Friday fell a couple of spots to No. 4 in its second week with an ESTIMATED $13.1 million (-41%) in 2,979 theaters (+25 theaters; $4,397 per theater). Its cume is $57.9 million.
Directed by Mark Waters, it stars Jamie Lee Curtis, Lindsay Lohan, Chad Michael Murray and Mark Harmon.
*Box office estimates provided by Exhibitor Relations, Inc.
MGM's PG-13-rated Uptown Girls giggled all the way to No. 5 in its premiere weekend with an ESTIMATED $11.2 million in 2,495 theaters ($4,489 per theater).
In this riches-to-rags tale, the daughter of a late rock-and-roll star gets a rude awakening when all her money is embezzled and she has to take a job as the nanny to a very uptight 8-year-old girl.
Directed by Boaz Yakin, it stars Brittany Murphy, Dakota Fanning, Donald Faison, Marley Shelton and Heather Locklear.
Buena Vista Pictures' PG-13-rated fantasy actioner Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl collected more booty, slipping to sixth place in its sixth week of release with an ESTIMATED $8.5 million (-35%) at 2,710 theaters (-460 theaters; $3,137 per theater). Its cume is approximately $247.9 million.
Directed by Gore Verbinski and produced by Jerry Bruckheimer, it stars Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley.
Universal Picture's R-rated comedy American Wedding plummeted four spots to seventh in its third week with an ESTIMATED $8.16 million (-47%) at 2,985 theaters (-210 theaters; $2,735 per theater). Its cume is $80.6 million.
Directed by Jesse Dylan, it stars Jason Biggs, Seann William Scott, Alyson Hannigan, Eddie Kaye Thomas and Thomas Ian Nicholas.
Universal Pictures' PG-13-rated drama Seabiscuit fell three notches to No. 8 in its fourth week, taking in an ESTIMATED $8.12 million (-32%) in 2,462 theaters (+34 theaters; $3,300 per theater). Its cume is approximately $83 million.
Directed by Gary Ross, it stars Tobey Maguire, Jeff Bridges and Chris Cooper as three down-and-out men who find fame and fortune in an equally down-and-out racehorse.
Dimension Films' PG-rated Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over dropped three spots to No. 9 in its fourth week with an ESTIMATED $5.2 million (-46%) in 3,003 theaters (-385 theaters; $1,745 per theater). Its cume is approximately $96.8 million.
Written and directed by Robert Rodriguez, it stars Alexa Vega, Daryl Sabara, Sylvester Stallone, Salma Hayek and Ricardo Montalban.
Sony Picture's R-rated buddy actioner Bad Boys II continued to move down the list to take 10th place in its fifth week with an ESTIMATED $3.2 million (-47%) at 1,785 theaters (-664 theaters; $1,793 per theater). Its cume is approximately $128.8 million.
Directed by Michael Bay, it stars Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, Jordi Molla, Gabrielle Union and Peter Stormare.
Warner Bros.' PG-13-rated Grind opened with an ESTIMATED $2.6 million in 2,253 theaters ($1,161 per theater).
Four free-wheelin', skateboarding buddies head cross-country to try to get into a pro-skateboarding demo tour.
Directed by Casey La Scala, it stars Mike Vogel, Adam Brody, Vince Vieluf, Joey Kern and Jennifer Morrison.
Fine Line's R-rated American Splendor debuted in limited release with an ESTIMATED $156,000 in 6 theaters ($26,000 per theater).
In this true story, hospital administrative clerk Harvey Pekar goes from rags to (relative) riches with his homegrown autobiographical comic book series, American Splendor.
Directed by Robert Pulcini and Shari Springer Berman, it stars Paul Giamatti, Hope Davis and Harvey Pekar.
The Top 12 films this weekend grossed an ESTIMATED $132 million, up 33.2 percent from last year's take of $99.1 million. The Top 12 films were also up 3.6 percent from last weekend when they grossed $127.4 million.
Last year's top three included: Sony's PG-13-rated actioner xXx, which stayed in first place its second week in a row with $22.1 million in 3,388 theaters ($6,526 per theater average); Buena Vista's PG-13 rated sci-fi thriller Signs, which held on to second place for two consecutive weeks with $19.3 million at 3,344 theaters ($5,790 per theater average); and Universal Pictures' PG-13-rated Blue Crush which opened in third with $14.1 million in 3,002 theaters ($4,720 per theater).
About 10 years ago the residents of Springwood ended Freddy Krueger's legendary reign of terror by drugging the town's teens to prevent them from dreaming and locking away the ones who wouldn't forget the master of nightmares. But as Freddy points out "being forgotten was a bitch." In order to emerge from his purgatory Freddy needs to instill fear back on the 1400 block of Elm Street--and he thinks he has found his ticket with the hockey-mask-wearing serial killer Jason Voorhees. Taking the form of Jason's dead mother Freddy invades Jason's dreams and instructs him to leave Crystal Lake and head to Elm Street to do some slaughtering. The plan actually works and as the town becomes fearful once more Freddy is able to prey on their vulnerability. But whom will Freddy torment if Jason slashes all the teens in town? As advertised by the studio the two '80s horror icons eventually engage in the ultimate showdown. Moviegoers however will have to check out the movie to find out who wins the face-off but the question is is it worth it? If you are not a fan of either franchise be prepared to sit through a shoddy story that is missing the tension and buildup so prevalent in Wes Craven's original 1984 thriller A Nightmare on Elm Street. If you are devotee the melding of Freddy and Jason on the big screen is a pretty delicious treat but the battle's outcome may ultimately frustrate fans.
Almost 20 years ago Robert Englund gained cult status as Freddy Krueger--a horror icon as recognizable as Boris Karloff's Frankenstein. Now Englund's name has become so synonymous with this character that replacing him would be catastrophic--and with good reason; this character actor is cause enough to go see the Freddy vs. Jason. This is Englund's eighth time going under the putty knife and he appears to still be having a blast playing Freddy. Although the character's physical appearance hasn't changed a bit (he still wears that skanky striped sweater and his razor fingers are still charmingly low-tech) but his quips are more sarcastic than ever. "What's the matter Lori " the dream-crasher taunts his victim. "Miss your wake-up call?" Former stunt performer Ken Kirzinger portrays Freddy's challenger Friday the 13th's Jason Vorhees. Different actors portrayed the character in 6 of the 10 installments of the Friday series; the last four sequels starred Kane Hodder. But since Jason sports a hockey mask and doesn't talk he doesn't have many personality traits to note--unless you count his slashing technique. So while Kirzinger is a convincing enough Jason it's safe to assume this stunt man was probably hired more for his ability to crash through glass and go up like a human torch rather for any likeness to Jason.
Director Ronny Yu who helmed the psycho doll thriller Bride of Chucky in 1998 is no stranger to the horror genre. Freddy vs. Jason is well done especially Yu's subtle transitions from the characters' realities to dreamland. This is where the director manages to inject a bit of tension into the film by playing mind games with the audience: When a character heads towards imminent danger the audience is never sure if they have fallen asleep and are dreaming or if what is happening is real--until a visual clue pops up like a bleating goat appearing where it clearly doesn't belong. Yu does this with a sense of humor and a bit of '80s nostalgia which is sure to please connoisseurs of the franchise. But the problem with Freddy vs. Jason is that it is so busy not taking itself too seriously that it fails to instill fear. Screenwriters Damian Shanning and Mark Swift had the thorny task of blending Freddy's supernatural and somewhat intellectually superior storylines with Jason's thuggish slasher plots and the result is story that leans more towards the brutish. The buildup and tension that made Nightmare on Elm Street so eccentrically frightening is gone and Freddy is brought down to Jason's level forced to fight physically rather than use his manipulative mind power. Watching the two malevolent entities hacking away at each other Freddy and Jason have almost been reduced to standing jokes.
The Bushes gathered together Hollywood celebrities and musicians Monday at the Kennedy Center for Performing Arts for a musical tribute honoring the first anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks. At the second Concert for America (the first took place 13 days after the attacks), opera tenor Placido Domingo joined Latin pop star Enrique Iglesias and country singer Alan Jackson in a musical performance, while actors Angela Bassett and James Earl Jones gave dramatic readings. The show will air on NBC Wednesday.
Let's hope this the last time we have to write about this, now that it's official: The Russian Space Agency sent a letter to NASA Monday stating 'N Sync member Lance Bass will not be visiting their international space station anytime soon. Last week, the agency kicked Bass off the flight crew for his failure to raise the $20 million fee in time, but Bass' sponsors hoped to continue the negotiations. Not anymore. "The letter speaks for itself," NASA spokeswoman Debra Rahn told the Associated Press. "They've officially withdrawn Mr. Bass from the flight."
After establishing a nonprofit summer camp to help girls develop self-esteem in California, supermodel Tyra Banks plans on opening one in South Florida. Called T-Zone, the weeklong, all-expenses-paid camp for girls ages 13 to 15 helps the teenagers deal with body image, self-doubt and pressures from boys. Banks wants to open camps all over the country. "I want to take it national as soon as possible," Banks told Sun-Sentinel. "But I want quality control. I want it to be like McDonald's or Coca-Cola. It's the same everywhere."
Actor Brad Renfro has dropped out of the film Freddy vs. Jason, the ultimate horror showdown between to two infamous killers--Nightmare on Elm Street's Freddy Krueger and Friday the 13th's Jason Voorhees. Renfro will be replaced by Jason Ritter (Swimfan), son of actor John Ritter.
Director Charles Herman-Wurmfeld (Kissing Jessica Stein) will direct Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde. The sequel to the 2001 summer sleeper hit Legally Blonde continues the adventures of Harvard Law School grad Elle Woods as she heads to Washington to take on the politicians.
Get ready for more Mr. French and Mrs. Beasley. The WB has remade the sappy '60s show Family Affair, where cute twins Jody and Buffy Davis, along with their teenage sister Sissy, descend upon their Uncle Bill (Gary Cole), a devout bachelor and his stuffy butler, Mr. French (Tim Curry). The one-hour series pilot airs Thursday at 8 p.m. What's next? The Courtship of Eddie's Father?
A tour bus for Eminem's Anger Management Tour caught fire Sunday on a highway in Michigan, when friction from a flat tire ignited the vehicle. AP reports only the bus driver was on board the bus, which was reserved for Eminem's managers, when the fire started and was not injured. Eminem finished his tour Sunday night at the Palace in Auburn Hills, Mich.
Canadian folk singer Gordon Lightfoot, known for his '70s hits such as "If You Could Read My Mind" and "Sundown," was recovering in the intensive care unit Monday in Toronto after suffering from internal bleeding in his abdomen. He is stable but doctors told Reuters his condition is serious and will have to be closely monitored over the next few days.