This week’s horror-com Piranha 3DD promises horror, comedy, and lots of really big boobs, if the 3DD in the title is any indication. Plus: bizarre deaths. That latter element — and the prospect of David Hasselhoff being involved — is the main reason for our excitement, and it got us thinking about other unconventional deaths on the big screen. Read on to see our favorites — and watch the horrendous action go down! But note: Although most clips are of the very, very funny nature, some are actually disturbing, especially for fans of His Prettiness, Brad Pitt.
The Wicker Man: Bees
A Nic Cage scene would find its way onto any list of oddities, but we’re all fortunate that what might be his most bizarre scene ever just so happens to be of the death variety. The clip below must be watched in its entirety; there are unintentionally hilarious gifts bestowed throughout, including but not limited to his death by bees.
NEXT: An embarrassing way to go
Jurassic Park: On the Toilet
Everyone expects a little privacy in the bathroom, but worst-case scenario, someone opens the door and nothing more than pride is damaged. Not the case for Donald Gennaro (Martin Ferrero), who is picked up by a hungry, pissed-off, lawyer-hating T. Rex.
NEXT: Death, Farrelly brothers-style
Dumb & Dumber: Hot Peppers
This is one list the Farrelly brothers probably never thought they’d wind up on when they concocted a scene in which title dummies Lloyd (Jim Carrey) and Harry (Jeff Daniels) accidentally prank-kill a kidnapper (Mike Starr) with hot peppers and rat poison. They probably thought the other brothers, the Coens, would be more likely to wind up here. Well, gotcha!
NEXT: The obligatory Tarantino entry
Pulp Fiction: Accidental Gunshot
There aren’t too many conventional deaths in Quentin Tarantino movies: We probably won’t ever watch an elderly character die of natural causes in his sleep. The most bizarre for our money, though, happens in the writer-director’s masterpiece, when John Travolta’s Vincent accidentally shoots Marvin (Phil LaMarr) in the brain after Jules (Samuel L. Jackson) drives too fast over a bump. Oopsies! Hey, it happens to the best of us.
NEXT: Speaking of Sam Jackson...
Deep Blue Sea: Shark Attack
There are a ton of classic lines and scenes from Samuel L. Jackson’s ridiculously prolific career; it’s somewhat disappointing — but understandable — that “I have had it with these motherf**king snakes on this motherf**king plane!” and his ritualistic, bible-quoting monologue from Pulp Fiction continue to overshadow his laugh-out-loud ridiculous death scene in Deep Blue Sea, in which he gets eaten by a genetically engineered shark and screams gloriously. Well, let’s change that!
NEXT: The Brits do it better
Monty Python and the Holy Grail: Flying Bunny
Leave it to the Monty Python gang to inject death with a cocktail of slapstick, irreverence, and hilarity. It’s safe to say that no other movie character has ever been decapitated via flying bunny; it’s also safe to say that this is the funniest, if not most bizarre, death scene in cinematic history. See also: The Meaning of Life, in which Terry Jones fatally eats a mint.
NEXT: The great 'Alien' spoof
Spaceballs: Dancing Alien
Alien had the disturbing “chestburger” scene, in which a little monster springs from John Hurt’s chest and darts across the room. Its spoof, Spaceballs, has pretty much the same thing, with the same actor(!), only this alien throws on a top hat and performs the hell out of “Hello, My Baby.” Both work on this list, but comedy wins out, at least for us. A very close runner-up in the otherworldly-lifeforms-popping-out-of-chests department is Kuato from Total Recall.
NEXT: Brad Pitt gets hit
Meet Joe Black: Cars
Brad Pitt plays Death, and cars play Ping-Pong with his body in what many consider to be the best scene of Meet Joe Black. Which isn’t meant as a compliment. It’s worth noting that this scene might not be considered so bizarre if it wasn’t the umpteen-time Sexiest Man Alive getting run over in uber-violent fashion and/or it wasn’t preceded by said pretty A-lister daydreaming in the middle of a city street with a “romantic longing” score playing in the background. But it is.
NEXT: The franchise ABOUT bizarre deaths
Final Destination Franchise: Any Death
By nature, virtually every death throughout the entire Final Destination series must be of the bizarre persuasion; otherwise, the movies would be utterly unwatchable instead of just laughably awful. One of our recent faves? Nick Zano’s disembowelment at the, uh, hands of a pool drain in 2009’s The Final Destination. If we had a nickel for every time we've heard one of those stories…
NEXT: Humans aren't the only creatures to die in bizarre fashion
Nonhumans aren’t immune to dying bizarrely on the big screen, as we saw in this 1984 Steven Spielberg-produced blockbuster — in which the titular monsters are fatally stabbed, pureed, and, most awesomely, microwaved… in the same scene.
NEXT: Rose McGowan's gonna need a bigger dog door.
Scream: Garage Door
We all knew Wes Craven’s meta-horror comedy would serve up at least one bizarre death scene. Ultimately, there were several, but our favorite is the one in which Rose McGowan’s unsuspecting bombshell Tatum Riley is snuffed out by the garage door — courtesy of “Mr. Ghostface.” And the dog flap.
Piranha 3DD Star Katrina Bowden Talks Gross-Out Scenes and David Hasselhoff Cameo
WHAT’S IT ABOUT?
G.I. Joe is a top-secret multi-national special forces unit comprised of highly-trained physically attractive military personnel from around the world. Equipped with the latest in superawesome vehicles and weaponry and guided by the tough but fair General Hawk they take on the baddest of the bad guys the kind of terrorists that scoff at conventional organizations. As the General himself so aptly states “When all else fails we don’t.”
That credo is put to the test however when a shadowy terrorist group armed with even awesomer vehicles and weaponry like crazy-ass laser guns and computer-guided zombie troopers infiltrates the Joes’ compound and makes off with a cache of four WMDs each of which is capable of leveling an entire city. Do the men and women of G.I. Joe have what it takes to defeat these menacing new adversaries before they mount their next devastating attack?
WHO’S IN IT?
It takes an elite group of actors to play an elite group of soldiers and the cast of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is stocked with an abundance of Hollywood’s most talented performers all adorned in various types of leather fetish apparel. White Chicks star Marlon Wayans plays Ripcord a flight specialist who can pilot any type of airplane even enemy crafts that respond only to voice commands uttered in Celtic. Channing Tatum star of Step Up and Step Up 2: The Streets plays his best pal Duke a badass infantryman who knows no fear. Preeminent ginger chick Rachel Nichols showcases her fiery crimson locks as Scarlett a shrewd intel expert whose stoic exterior hides a growing attraction to Ripcord. Barking out the orders as General Hawk is Enemy Mine star Dennis Quaid.
On the side of the bad guys is the Baroness played by Factory Girl star Sienna Miller in a push-up bra dirty librarian glasses and a raven-colored dye job. She’s the point woman for McMullen a shady Scottish weapons magnate played by Christopher Eccleston. But McMullen is no ordinary shady Scottish weapons magnate; he’s covertly amassed a huge terrorist empire headquartered beneath the polar ice caps. It’s there that “The Doctor ” a horribly disfigured mad scientist played by (500) Days of Summer star Joseph Gordon-Levitt concocts all sorts of diabolical new weapons and gadgets to unleash on the innocent.
Oh and there are ninjas too. Good guy Snake Eyes played by Ray Park wears sleek black body armor while the evil Storm Shadow played by Byung-hun Lee runs around in a updated version of Elvis Presley’s classic all-white jumpsuit.
Loaded with scene after scene of high-tech action-movie eye candy G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra assaults the senses with such a relentless barrage of over-the-top stunts eye-popping visual effects and stylized fight sequences that only the most coldly cynical of viewers will be able to resist submitting to its visceral charms.
As with most sugary indulgences the sweet dizzying high is followed almost immediately by a painful crash. Feelings of guilt and shame start to simmer as you kick yourself for yielding to such soulless gluttony. The next morning you awake with a throbbing headache and a heart filled with regret. The following day a doctor informs you that you have adult-onset diabetes. So in a nutshell G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is the cinematic equivalent of adult-onset diabetes.
The scene where they have the big fight with all the advanced weapons and a whole bunch of stuff blows up. Oh wait that’s EVERY scene.
For the bulk of his performance Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s face is obscured by a bulky breathing apparatus and his voice is altered to sound like the computerized movie trailer's narrator. Which makes one wonder why they bothered to hire a name actor for the role in the first place.
Doh!: "Expression of frustration used when a person has done something stupid; popularized by Homer Simpson. Antedate: 1993."
It's official: Homer Simpson has made it into the Oxford English Dictionary.
The Simpsons' beer-guzzling patriarch's popular catch phrase, Doh!, was included in an updated version of the dictionary published on Thursday. The term joins "full monty" (to be naked) and "serial monogamy" (a 1990s relationship trend) as new entries in the respected publication.
But is Doh! going to fully make its way into modern Americans' lexicon? Will we be hearing the term on the nightly news anytime soon? Some respected television journalists gave Hollywood.com their thoughts on the matter.
"I don't think you'll ever hear Brokaw, Rather or Jennings (OK, maybe Rather) uttering the word Doh!," said Michael Starr of the New York Post. "But TV definitely influences how we think and talk--just look at how pervasive phrases like 'Is that your final answer?' 'You are the weakest link--goodbye!' and 'Ba-da bing!' are."
Stephen Battaglio, TV Editor at Inside.com, told Hollywood.com that Homer's hit phrase has already penetrated our collective vocabulary-used by young and old-and TV's constant bombardment of such terms lodges them into our everyday speech.
"I think Doh! has already made its way into the newsroom vernacular," he said. "It's a great word that says so much quickly and easily. Even if you haven't seen the show, it's hard not to understand what it means.
"The [Oxford English Dictionary] has added other phrases made popular by television shows like Seinfeld, so it isn't a surprise. Endless repeats of popular programs in syndication give these words a life of their own. It's not like people hear them once and they're gone."
Battaglio's viewpoint on TV's powerful effect on common speech is shared by journalist Tom Jicha, TV Editor for Florida's Sun-Sentinel newspaper. Said Jicha: "TV is not that big an influence on vocabulary, it is the biggest. Sometimes it takes awhile for the dictionaries to catch up." He added, "I have seen Homer's Doh! used many times in [journalistic] pieces."
According to the Oxford English Dictionary's monthly newsletter, the terms "trailer trash" (derogatory noun) and "wifebeater" (a sleeveless, white T-shirt) are currently under consideration for inclusion in the next edition. But we're sure Homer Simpson's lifestyle has nothing to do with either of them.... Doh!