It’s finally here. The moment we’ve all been waiting for. After six seasons of guessing, wondering, hoping, and dying to know the truth, the series finale of Gossip Girl will uncover the identity of the titular blogger.
While tonight will conclude all the storylines we’ve invested in for Season 6, in addition to revealing Gossip Girl, it will also include a one hour look at the series, with the stars and executive producers saying their goodbyes and sharing memorable moments. This inspired us to look back at the entire series, and while some characters have left us (so long, Vanessa!), some return tonight (well, hello Little J and Eric!), and some have grown into completely different people from the pilot until now (anyone else remember when Chuck Bass used to be a stoner villain?), the one thing that has tied the series together throughout six seasons is all the scheming, hoaxes, and scandals.
Let’s refresh our memories with Gossip Girl’s best schemes, hoaxes and scandals from the entire series before tonight’s finale, which is bound to have as many twists and turns that can possibly fit into one episode. It is Gossip Girl, after all: what else would you expect?
The Best Schemes, Hoaxes, and Scandals of 'Gossip Girl'
The Gossip Girl series finale, "New York, I Love You XOXO," airs tonight on The CW from 8 PM to 10 PM EST.
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[Photo Credit: Frank Ockenfels/The CW]
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At the moment there are few greater clichés in the media than the freaking out single woman on the cusp of 30. Of course clichés are clichés for a reason worth exploring even through the lens of just one or two women as in Lola Versus. Unfortunately while the intention behind Lola Versus isn't that we should all be happily married by the age of 30 it still fits into the same rubric of all those "Why You're Not Married" books.
Lola (Greta Gerwig) has a gorgeous fiancé Luke (Joel Kinnaman) and they live in a giant loft together the kind of dreamy NYC real estate that seems to exist primarily in the movies. Just as they're planning their gluten-free wedding cake with a non-GMO rice milk-based frosting Luke dumps her. It's cruelly sudden — although Luke isn't a cruel man. Lola finds little comfort in the acerbic wit of her best friend the eternally single Alice (Zoe Lister-Jones) who is probably delighted to see her perfectly blonde best friend taken down a peg and into the murky world of New York coupling. Lola and Luke share a best friend Henry (Hamish Linklater) a messy-haired rumpled sweetheart who is kind and safe and the inevitable shelter for Lola's fallout. Her parents well-meaning and well-to-do hippie types feed her kombucha and try to figure out their iPads and give her irrelevant advice.
Lola Versus is slippery. Its tone careens between broad TV comedy and earnest dramedy almost as if Alice is in charge of the dirty zingers and Lola's job is to make supposedly introspective statements. Alice's vulgar non-sequiturs are tossed off without much relish and Lola's dialogue comes off too often as expository and plaintive. We don't need Lola to tell Henry "I'm vulnerable I'm not myself I'm easily persuaded" or "I'm slutty but I'm a good person!" (Which is by the way an asinine statement to make. One might even say she's not even that "slutty " she's just making dumb decisions that hurt those around her just as much as she's hurting herself.)
We know that she's a mess — that's the point of the story! It's not so much that a particularly acerbic woman wouldn't say to her best friend "Find your spirit animal and ride it until its d**k falls off " but that she wouldn't say it in the context of this movie. It's from some other movie over there one where everyone is as snarky and bitter as Alice. You can't have your black-hearted comedy and your introspective yoga classes. Is it really a stride forward for feminism that the clueless single woman has taken the place of the stoner man-child in media today? When Lola tells Luke "I'm taken by myself. I've gotta just do me for a while " it's true. But it doesn't sound true and it doesn't feel true.
In one scene Lola stumbles on the sidewalk and falls to the ground. No one asks her if she's okay or needs help; she simply gets up on her own and goes on her way. It's a moment that has happened to so many people. It's humiliating and so very public but of course you just gotta pick yourself up and get where you're going. In this movie it's a head-smackingly obvious metaphor. In one of the biggest missteps of the movie Jay Pharoah plays a bartender that makes the occasional joke while Lola is waiting tables at her mom's restaurant. His big line at the end is "And I'm your friend who's black!" It would have been better to leave his entire character on the cutting room floor than attempt such a half-hearted wink at the audience.
Lister-Jones and director Daryl Wein co-wrote the screenplay for Lola Versus as they did with 2009's Breaking Upwards. Both films deal with the ins and outs of their own romantic relationship in one way or another. Breaking Upwards a micro-budget indie about a rough patch in their relationship was much more successful in tone and direction. Lola Versus has its seeds in Lister-Jones' experience as a single woman in New York and is a little bit farther removed from their experiences. Lola Versus feels like a wasted opportunity. Relatively speaking there are so few movies getting made with a female writer or co-writer that it almost feels like a betrayal to see such a tone-deaf portrayal of women onscreen. What makes it even more disappointing is how smart and likable everyone involved is and knowing that they could have made a better movie.
Marcus Nispel -- the man we can all collectively point and groan at for this -- has signed on for his next film: a little $10 million picture called Backmask set to shoot this summer. Right now, details are still wrapped regarding the project, but Deadline reports that it involves "paranoia, possession and the paranormal." Nispel's past credits include The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the 13th remakes, and the picture will be produced by Steven Schneider, one of the backers of Paranormal Activity; so, yeah, we're pretty sure that this will be spooky. Either that, or a really low-budget stoner flick about ghosts who wear gas mask bongs.
On Friday, Danny McBride and James Franco star in the epic middle ages stoner flick Your Highness. Now, what's probably the worst situation in the world that a stoner could be in? If you answered smack dab in the middle of a medieval fight, holding a sword and a shields while puffy, red-eyed and not quite sure who's the enemy, well, you're right. Seeing McBride and Franco leap around, baked out of their minds while stabbing at each other (and missing terribly), got us thinking: what would be some other terrible places for stoners to spark up a joint in cinema history? Let's take a look.
Where: The Grid
Why: Holy shit. Don't get me wrong, this would be an awesome place for you to hang out if you were baked. Look at all the pretty colors, bro. Oh, and listen to that Daft Punk. But, c'mon. Seriously? This is a place where light fucking kills you. If you're hanging out on the grid, staring up at the pretty men on the pretty bikes with the pretty neon light trailing behind it, there's a good chance you'll wander out into some place you shouldn't be, and one of those pretty bikes will run over your stoned self.
Where: The backseat of Travis Bickle's taxi
Why: Um, have you seen that movie? Do you honestly, really, think that Travis Bickle has any ounce of patience? Picture this: a dude -- blazed out of his mind -- "chilling" in the back seat, unsure of where he wants to go. "Uh, I don't know. Somewhere between 1st and 2nd?," he'd mummer between giggles. Bickle would only have so long -- probably less than about 3 seconds -- before he'd bust into a rendition of "You talkin' to me?"
Where: That chair you use to "plug-in"
Why: Let's think for a moment about how fascinated stoners become with the littlest of things, and especially, with crap that is just completely pointless. Like for example: a piece of bark. I can hear them in my head now: "Just feel this texture, bro! Rub it. It makes you really feel that connection with the earth." Yeah, okay dude. Now imagine if you were to take that dude, set him down on a dentist-style chair, and plug something into the back of his freaking head. He would start tripping out.
Where: Anywhere in the vicinity of R2-D2
Why: Oh, lord, could you imagine? We all know that it's fun to be stoned, but it's definitely not fun to be around stoners while not stoned. In fact, it's a horrible, horrible experience. Everything they do is not only obnoxious, but it's hilarious -- and I mean hilarious -- to themselves. They will laugh at the stupidest things, like the way an apple sounds when they bite into it or the way their jeans feel against their legs -- and they'll laugh for what seems like days and days. Now put R2-D2 next to them with all of his beeps and bops. The automatic stoner reaction? "Beep-bop-boop-beep, man. Beep-bop-boop-beep." However, they would probably try to turn R2-D2 into a bong, and, admittedly, that would be pretty funny.
Where: The Interview Room
Why: Oh, you want to have a serious conversation? Or more specifically, you want to have a serious conversation about politics? Ha! Stoners are some of the worst people in the world to have any type of serious conversation with because, well, everything is a serious conversation. These are the guys who want to talk about how when they were eating a burger at Burger King their napkin tore in half and one of the ripped halves looked like the outline of their childhood home or something; so basically, you know, stoner stuff. If a couple dudes in tie-dye t-shirts were in the room as Frost pressed Nixon on the trials of his presidency, their laughing would be slightly distracting.
Sleepless In Seattle
Where: The Empire State Building Observation Deck
Why: You know those times you're at the theater and there's those stoned fools in the back row, snickering at every little detail of a drama (I'm talking un-snickerable films, like Schindler's List)? Well, place those doofuses on top of the Empire State Building in what's considered to be, probably, one of the most moving scenes in cheesy rom-com history. There's nothing that would spoil this moment more than a cloud of smoke and some giggles from a couple of pot heads in the background, mulling over how "amazing, man" New York City looks at night from atop the Empire State Building. "It's, like, crazy."
Where: In the cockpit of that alien ship used to destroy all those other aliens
Why: No offense to those readers who do their share of toking up, but the last thing the human race needs is for your stoned ass to pressure the people -- people like Jeff Goldblum -- in charge of saving our human race from total, complete extinction from an evil, terrible alien race by just "taking just one hit, man." Fuck that. These are real aliens who are really here to really kill us. Go back to your own bizarre 1999 green alien posters with black lights and shit, stoners.
In an apparent attempt to do film journalists and their readers a favor, Red Crown Productions, Elliptical Films, and Sandia Media announced today that a whole bunch of people are joining their new movie, Goats, and this is good news for you, Reader, because now we won't announce each individual hire with annoying little articles over the next few months of pre-production.
Anyway, here's the five actors: David Duchovny, Vera Farmiga, Keri Russell, Minnie Driver, and Will Arnett. Awesome, right? Yeah, we agree. Goats, which marks the directorial debut of acting coach Christopher Neil, is a comedy that already featured Graham Phillips and Ty Burrell as part of the cast. Check out the official hilarious synopsis below.
The coming of age story follows 15 year-old, Ellis (Phillips) as he moves from Wendy, his flakey, new age mother’s (Farmiga) South-Western home to an East Coast prep school where his estranged father Frank (Burrell) was once a star student. For Ellis, this means leaving behind the only real dad he has ever known, Goat Man (Duchovny), his pot-smoking, goat herding mentor, and ultimately needing to evaluate his new prep school lifestyle that’s in stark contrast to his stoner upbringing. Rounding out the cast are Keri Russell as Frank’s new wife, Minnie Driver as Wendy’s best friend and yogic advisor Johanna, and Will Arnett as Wendy’s boyfriend Bennett.
Now, who's ready to see David Duchovny as Goat Man? Or Minnie Driver as a yogic advisor? Or, perhaps most importantly, Will Arnett just being Will Arnett? This guy is.
Goats starts filming in February.
Source: Coming Soon
Following the debut of Your Highness' red band trailer last month, a new trailer has hit the web -- and yeah, even without f-bombs the medieval stoner flick still looks totally awesome.The film takes Danny McBride and James Franco on every man's fantasy: a quest, alongside Natalie Portman, to find Zooey Deschanel. Plus, the always funny Justin Theroux joins and from the look of the trailer, the group has all sorts of adventures together, featuring everything from swords, marijuana, and Ms. Portman in a bikini. Giddy-up!
Your Highness is set to hit theaters on April 8, 2011. Check out the new poster and watch the trailer below!
Looks like James Franco and Anne Hathaway may battle some extra terrestrials in the near (but really distant) future.
Bloody Disgusting reports that the two actors are interested in roles for the prequel to Alien, written by Lost scribe Damon Lindelof and to be directed by original helmsman Ridley Scott. Of course, these aren't the first big names names rumored to be boarding a Weyland-Yutani craft in much anticipated flick: Natalie Portman, Noomi Rapace and Carey Mulligan have all been linked to the project in some capacity, while others like Gemma Arterton turned out to be nothing more than web-based fantasies.
Naturally, this is all just talk and no solid casting has been announced, but many sources believe that Twentieth Century Fox will announce the official roster soon.
Regarding Hathaway and Franco: I like the idea of both of them in the Alien prequel. Hathaway's resume is full of rom-coms and dramas. Outside of Get Smart, we haven't seen her take a shot at action movies (see what I did there?). Starring in Alien would give her the chance to diversify herself as an actress and open herself up to a new fan base. And regarding Franco? That dude can just do whatever he wants and it will be awesome. Stoner pot dealer? Check. Beat poet? Check. Hiker who cuts off his arm to live? Check. Hopefully he can add "space traveler who rips off Alien's head" to that list.
Source: Bloody Disgusting
Judd Apatow has enlisted Eric Bana, Jason Schwartzman and Jonah Hill to join Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen and Leslie Mann in his next directorial effort. The film had been untitled thus far but now has a moniker: Funny People.
Variety reports that production will begin in September in LA and the film will be released next summer.
Apatow, who last wrote and directed Knocked Up, was deliberately vague about subject matter, Variety reports. He would only allow that the movie takes place in the world of stand-up comedy and the focus is on a comedian who has a near-death experience.
Coincidentally, Bana began his career as a comic on the standup circuit in Australia and starred in the sketch comedy series Full Frontal and The Eric Bana Show before remaking himself as a dramatic actor, Variety notes.
Hill starred in the Apatow-produced Superbad and Forgetting Sarah Marshall. He also appeared in the Apatow-directed features Knocked Up and The 40 Year-Old Virgin.
Mann is married to Apatow and co-starred in Knocked Up and Virgin.
Apatow and Sandler teamed with Robert Smigel to write the script for current release You Don't Mess with the Zohan. Apatow is also producer of the upcoming Adam McKay-directed Step Brothers starring Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly and stoner comedy Pineapple Express with Rogen and James Franco.