The God of Legion secular Hollywood’s latest Biblically-inspired action flick is old-school an angry spiteful Almighty with a penchant for Old Testament theatrics. Fed up with humanity’s decadent warmongering ways He’s decided to pull the plug on the whole crazy experiment and start over from scratch.
Fortunately for us the God of Legion is also a rather lazy fellow. Instead of doing the apocalyptic work himself and wiping us out with a giant flood which worked perfectly well last time He opts to delegate the task to His army of angels — a questionable strategy that starts to fall apart when the archangel charged with leading the planned extermination Michael (Paul Bettany) refuses to comply.
Michael who unlike his boss still harbors affection for our sorry species abandons his post and descends to earth where inside the swollen belly of Charlie (Adrianne Palicki) an unwed mother-to-be working as a waitress in an out-of-the-way diner sits humanity’s lone hope for survival. Why is this particular baby so important? Is it the one destined to lead us to victory over Skynet? Heaven knows — Legion reveals little details its script devoid of actual scripture. What is clear is that God’s celestial hitmen want the kid whacked before it’s born.
But Michael won’t let humanity fall without a fight. Armed with a Waco-sized arsenal of assault weapons he hunkers down with the diner’s patrons a largely superfluous collection of thinly-sketched caricatures from various demographic groups led by Dennis Quaid as the diner’s grizzled owner Tyrese Gibson as a hip-hop hustler and Lucas Black as a simple-minded country boy.
Together they mount a heroic final stand against hordes of angels who’ve taken possession of “weak-willed” humans turning kindly old grandmas and mild-mannered ice cream vendors into snarling ravenous foul-mouthed beasts. They descend upon the ramshackle diner in a series of full-frontal assaults commanded by the archangel Gabriel (Kevin Durand) the George Pickett of End of Days generals.
Beneath its superficial religious facade Legion is really just a run-of-the-mill zombie flick a Biblical I Am Legend. Bettany an actor accustomed to smaller dramatic roles in films like A Beautiful Mind and The Da Vinci Code looks perfectly at ease in his first major action role wielding machine guns and bowie knives with equal aplomb. Conversely first-time director Scott Stewart a former visual effects artist does little to prove himself worthy of such a promotion serving up some impressive CGI work but not much else worthy of note.
Happily N'Ever After centers on what would happen if the classic fairytales we all love didn’t have happy endings if the villains actually won out in the end. When the wizard (George Carlin)—who maintains the age-old balance between good and evil in Fairy Tale Land—goes on vacation his incompetent assistants (Andy Dick Wallace Shawn) make a mess of things opening up an opportunity for Cinderella’s evil stepmother Frieda (Sigourney Weaver) to take control and call in all the bad guys. Meanwhile Cinderella aka Ella (Sarah Michelle Gellar) tries to get her beloved Prince Charming (Patrick Warburton) to save the day—except he is a nincompoop too. Actually the real hero is the Prince’s dishwasher Rick (Freddie Prinze Jr.) who secretly loves Ella. Not too hard to figure out how this ever after will end. Gellar and Prinze Jr. are as bland in voice as they are on screen playing the two potential lovebirds with very little enthusiasm while the “hilarious sidekicks” Dick and Shawn totally overdo it as the bumbling wizard assistants even if Dick does have a few laugh-out-loud moments. Warburton does he’s usual dumb guy routine and Carlin is completely wasted. The only one who seems to tap into her character succinctly is Weaver as the wicked Frieda. Of course playing someone evil is always more fun—especially a fairytale villainess CGI-created as a cross between Jessica Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit and Madonna. Weaver certainly works the look. Last year’s Hoodwinked—which took the Little Red Riding Hood tale and turned it into a CSI meets Rashomon—tried to satirize and modernize the fairytale genre. Now we have Happily N'Ever After. While their premises are indeed clever and the CGI animation crisp they fail to deliver a strong story to back up the initial idea. Happily just feels slapped together for the kiddies’ sakes with a few dull attempts at adult references. It’s not a good sign when even your kid sitting next to you starts to zone out halfway through the movie. Also the fact there are about six different animation houses and production companies attached to the project doesn’t bode well. I think it’s probably just best to keep the fairy tale spoofs to the Shrek professionals.
As clever as it can be at times Flushed Away’s plot is still formulaically step by step. Step one: Introduce hero one Roderick St. James (Hugh Jackman) aka Roddy a pampered but lonely pet mouse who lives in a posh Kensington flat in London. Step two: Propel Roddy into the utterly foreign world of the city’s sewers by flushing him down the toilet. Step three: Hook him up with a cute renegade mouse named Rita (Kate Winslet) with a nifty boat who makes a pact with Roddy to take him back to his home in exchange for some riches she can use to help her extended family (32 brothers and sisters to be exact). Step four: Have the two of them then outwit the villainous Toad (Ian McKellen) mob kingpin of the sewer city Ratropolis after discovering his dastardly plan to rid the sewers of the rats. Step five: Happy ending. Not too complicated. We’ve got a mostly British A-list this time around and everyone sounds enthused to be indulging in the make-up free come-in-your-sweats fun of vocal work. Jackman infuses Roddy with the appropriate upper crustiness but who soon warms to his surroundings—and his new friend especially since he’s never really had any friends before. Winslet’s Rita is all pluck and spunk with a keen fashion sense and big mouse ears while McKellen’s malevolent frog is a big blowhard with a goiter. But as is the case with these animated films the side characters provide the laughs. There’s Toad’s main hench-rats—Whitey (a very deep-voiced Bill Nighy) an ex-laboratory rat who’s experimental shampooings have left him bald and an albino and Sid (Andy Serkis) a wiry weasel who is not nearly as tough as he purports to be. Toad’s French cousin Le Frog (Jean Reno) a cross between Jackie Chan and Inspector Clouseau is also hilarious. The best part however are the sewer slugs who don’t say much but rather add any musical accompaniment deemed necessary. Aardman Productions and DreamWorks the same folks who gave us Wallace and Gromit movies seem to have perfected the clay animation techniques and incorporated a lot more CGI. Flushed Away is definitely more polished than the W&G’s but the big teeth and general sardonic British sensibilities are all still there. The sewer life is visually bustling using everyday items to create their world such as the bad guys riding hand mixers as wave runners to chase after Rita’s boat. Plus the film is loaded with enough funny pop culture references to keep the adults laughing (thank YOU Shrek!) For example when Roddy is zooming his way down the water pipes he sees a yellow striped fish who asks “Have you seen my dad?” Nope there really isn’t anything inherently wrong with Flushed Away save for an overdone plot. Kids and parents alike should enjoy themselves.
Such celebrities as Celine Dion and Jerry Seinfeld are doing their part to help raise money for the victims of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks.
The French-Canadian pop diva will headline a five-hour show in Montreal on Friday with about 200 Quebec artists including members of the famed Cirque du Soleil. Proceeds will be donated to the Red Cross to help families of the nearly 7,000 people killed or missing in the attacks.
Dion is coming out of her semi-retirement to help but is dedicating herself to raising her eight-month old son Rene-Charles until at least 2003.
Seinfeld and friends, including Bill Cosby, Will Ferrell, Colin Quinn and standup comedian George Wallace, are planning a special Twin Towers charity concert called Stand Up for New York. It will be held Oct. 8 at Carnegie Hall. Proceeds will benefit the Twin Towers Fund and the New York Police and Fire Widow and Children Benefit Fund.
"The entertainment industry always has to be responding, moment to moment, to people's tastes and feelings," Seinfeld said. "This is a major shift that happened very suddenly, so it will require an immediate change."
Tickets for the show range in price from $100 to $2,500, and go on sale Thursday at Carnegie Hall. Tickets can also be ordered by calling (212) 247-7800.
A collection of rare, archival films has been snagged by Turner Classic Movies, Variety reports. The films will air during November sweeps in primetime on four separate Sunday evenings. National Film Preservation Foundation Director Annette Melville said the films "represent a cross-section of American filmmaking that flourished across the U.S. ever since the invention of the film camera. In addition to the November screenings, July will see the 1925 version of The Lost World, written by Sherlock Holmes inventor Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, and starring Wallace Beery. October will feature the U.S. debut of famed Italian writer-director Gilberto Pontecorvo's The Wide Blue Road, the first film Gillo wrote. Other rare prints include Orson Welles' stage production of Voodoo "Macbeth"; a 1916 Western called Hell's Hinges; and a World War II propaganda documentary The Battle of San Pietro from John Huston.