While the cast of Nashville didn't give acoustic performances of any of their original hit country songs (boo!), they did gather onstage together for a PaleyFest panel Saturday afternoon to tease some major relationship changes in the next few episodes (yay!). When the country-music show returns with all new episodes March 27, we'll finally get to see the outcome of Scarlett (Clare Bowen) and Gunnar's (Sam Palladio) grief-induced hookup.
"It’s getting freaky right now," Palladio says. "What a crazy situation to be in. They’re in a phase right that’s bringing them to a new level. Gunnar’s in a really traumatic place [after the death of his brother] and Scarlett is being that emotional bedrock for him. Bed rock, hey!"
All puns aside, Bowen tried to rationalize what made Scarlett finally take their relationship to the next level at such an inopportune time. "Grief makes people do very odd things," Bowen says. "The person you’re supposed to be with may not turn up at the most convenient, appropriate time. So you’ll have to wait and see what the aftermath is like."
And while Gunnar and Scarlett's relationship is being taken to new levels, the relationship at the core of Nashville is as complicated as ever. Rayna (Connie Britton) and Deacon (Charles Esten) have a long history, and things haven't gotten any easier with the announcement of Rayna's upcoming divorce and their heated elevator kiss. But Britton and Esten aren't optimistic that they can get a happily ever after. "She’s the one for me, but does that always work out, is that always the best?" Esten says. "That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s going to work out but we’re always trying."
RELATED: 'Nashville' Recap: Scarlett's Cupcake Controversy
Britton agrees that their journey won't be an easy one. "It’s a very grown up relationship," Britton says. "We can go in so many different directions and we have. We can just rip each other apart in so many ways. But there’s always this foundation between the two of them."
While Britton and Esten couldn't reveal details about their relationship, we did get some scoop on what's coming up for Juliette (Hayden Panettiere) in the wake of her marriage annulment. "One marriage under my belt, a few 'carcasses,'" Panettiere says. "She’s mostly trying to rekindle the relationship with her mother and she loves to take two steps forward and one step back. Her life is a roller coaster."
But Panettiere did tease that someone new may be coming into Juliette's life. "A new character is going to come in and try to help this relationship, but whether or not that comes to fruition is questionable," Panettiere says. "Some clothes might come off in the meantime." She also revealed that one episode in particular will feature a lot of naked Juliette!
Interestingly enough, creator Callie Khouri also teased that the moment where Avery (Jonathon Jackson) bumps into Juliette (and tries to turn it into a pick up line) in the pilot might be a good foreshadowing of things to come. Could we possibly be seing an Avery/Juliette romance?
We'll find out when Nashville returns on Wednesday, March 27 at 10 PM ET/PT on ABC.
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Annndddddd we're back. It's only the second week of Nashville, but I have to say it feels like this show has been on for years. The amount of drama and plotlines broached in last week's episode alone could have been enough material for the entire season. But that can only mean it's about to get really good. If you didn't already READ MY RECAP, let me catch you all up to speed. Tami Taylor Rayna James (Connie Britton) is the queen of country, you see, but suddenly her producers found some wrinkles on her face and discovered Juliette Barnes (Hayden Panettiere), a pretty young (blonde) thing, and decided it was time to give RJ the boot. Well, they gave her the option of co-headlining with Juliette, but HA, as if. Rayna's dad is some big-time politician in Nashville (he even had a whole day named after him! Yep!) and let's just say they don't meet eye to eye. Her band leader Deacon Claybourne (Charles Esten) is also her one true love, but of course it couldn't work out the way they both dreamed it would. And as if Rayna didn't have enough to deal with, her shady-ass husband Teddy Conrad (Eric Close) is now running for mayor under the wing of his controlling father-in-law. OH, and young, perfect, smiling, wide-eyed hopefuls Scarlett O'Connor (Clare Bowen) and Gunnar Scott (Sam Palladio) just so happened to take the stage at The Bar, Bluebird, and wow everyone (including RJ's old-timer producer Watty White) with their money-making melody. There was SO MUCH more because, again, it was essentially four series melded into one 40-something minute episode. But I'm just tired, I can't do all the work for you. SO I'M MOVING ON NOW. Are you ready for more cliches?!
Spoiled Young Star
Juliette Barnes is filming a music video in a white pleather number that looks straight off the Strawberry racks when she hears a PA saying her songs are for 12-year-old girls. OH HELL NO. She is so appalled by this comment she demands he be fired. Immediately! "And where is Deacon Claybourne?!" she shrieks. (Isn't it just awesome that his last name is spelled like Jason Bourne? Note to self: Watch that after this.) She's no better than Taylor Swift. Oops. Rating: 3, because there's no way "Juliette Barnes" would agree to wear that sticky, tacky mess of an outfit. Not even Britney Spears would do that.
Back to Your Roots
RJ meets with Old Man Watty for a touch base on Scarlett and Gunnar's mind-blowing performance. "I haven't seen that kind of chemistry since you and Deacon," he says through wise, grey eyes. "You should get back on the road. Just the two of you." RJ flicks her strawberry locks and coyly says that it's a crazy idea, although deep down she's picturing the two of them whispering lyrics to each other in the van, napping against a warm window, watching the scenery pass by as if nothing had changed at all. She's intrigued. Rating 8.5, because I can't think of one country song that isn't about getting back to your roots.
Jealous (But Probably Right) Husband
Not that he doesn't have a reason to be, but of course when RJ brings up touring with Deacon to Teddy he rolls his eyes, doubting his smokin' hot wife. He goes into his campaign trail and how he'd love to have his wife by his side, which is, OKAY, understandable. Actually, RJ is acting a little cray. I mean, she is married with kids and living with a husband going into politics. Is it really her time to hit the road, playing in honky tonks? Maybe, maybe it is the perfect time. Rating: 1, because when is the husband actually right?
Playing Hard to Get
Old Man Watty ain't waiting a second longer before booking Scar and Gungun. He wants them HOOKED. Hell, he even offers to pay for their demos! GG is all like, "OMG, really? That's awesome!" Meanwhile, Scar runs away like a scared little kitten — like he's just asked her back to his hotel room. This is not going to be easy. Nope. And that's just how he likes it. Rating: 5.5, because it's a Goddam singing deal. AND YOU'RE A WAITRESS. Can't think of anyone who wouldn't jump at the chance.
I mean, REALLY, Juliette is young enough to be RJ's daughter. And now they're both after the same guy. DEACON, of course. Aren't you guys paying attention? RJ and Deacon are about to record a song when Juliette pops up and makes some suggestive comment about finishing what they started. He brushes it off in front of RJ because he wants us all to think he's a true gentleman. But no. Juliette sits out back in her teal pick-up truck, listening to her own songs and crafting a Rayna voodoo doll, patiently waiting for Deacon to exit the studio. And as soon as he does, she pounces. It's time for an adventure, apparently, and Deacon is so stoked he forgets RJ is a mere 4 inches away, then hops into her car like a horny teenager. I mean, honestly D? We want to like you! We're rooting for you! ANYWAY, she drives him up to some large plot of land and talks about fairy tales of building a home there, a place where she can be herself. It's all very Notebookesque, only she's Ryan Gosling's and Rachel McAdams' unborn child, not one of the actual characters in the love story. Because, again, she's a baby. "Ready to get started?" B asks, and that's all Juliette needs to hear as she wraps her lanky arms around his neck and gets right to it. FRENCH KISSING. Just like she learned in the basement party she was at last week. He finds it adorable. Rating: 9.5, because this exemplifies all that we hate, but love at the very same time.
Snooty Southern Moms
What's the point of setting a show in Nashville if you can't stereotype passive aggressive women with accents? No point, no point at all. So, it's only natural that when RJ comes to some political gathering of sorts, she run into the polished women of the town. "You should really put out another album," one of them says to RJ. She shortly replied, "It's out." Mom No. 2 innocently asks, "Do they have it at Starbucks?" at which point RJ whips her perfect ponytail around and walks away. Rating: 7.5, because Starbucks, really? That can't be right.
Juliette and Deacon. That's all. Rating: 10, because.
Some lawyers in matching suits and ties are cornering Teddy in an office about some sort of money shadiness. It's all very brief and confusing, but something is sketchy. And that can only mean one thing: corruption in politics! How unusual! He's got secrets all right, lots of them. And he's quite handsome, so, well okay, no real point there. Back in the big office with Lamar Wyatt, he explains that his main message to the people who have worked under him is to not mess with him. Man, he is one scary wolf-like creature. He's talking to a man who's presumably been working with him (and if I should know his name, I'm sorry! THERE ARE SO MANY STORYLINES IN THIS SHOW BAHHHH) and he counters that Lamar's main message is that, "Loyalty is a one way street with you. Whatever you give, you're gonna get back." Touche? Rating: 8.5, because where there's country music, there's shady biz.
Juliette casually has a messenger drop off a gagillion dollar guitar as a gift for B while he's working with RJ, and he's all, "Oh, it's nothing!" And RJ's all like, "Stop hanging out with Miss Sparkly Pants!" And now they're in a fight. She makes a dramatic exit — trying to emulate Juliette's high school behavior, perhaps — and slams the door. Rating: 9, because girls will be dramatic no matter how old they get.
Was waiting for this one to come out. So, RJ almost absurdly opens up about her past and current relationship with D. She says he's still in her life, very much so, but romantically, things ended when he went to rehab. OF COURSE HE WENT TO REHAB. This explains everything, right? Right? And now he's sober. But is he? IS HE? RJ looks out into a dark cloud and says, "If he hadn't gone to rehab, he probably would not be with us today." And guess what? She paid for his treatment. So it's like she was bribing him, too. For his love, if you didn't get that. She swears she didn't continue sleeping with D while he was in rehab. But she is an awful liar. Oh, such an awful liar. Rating: 9, because drugs, alcohol, country, of course!
Back at the Bluebird (where else), D is strumming and singing along with a huge crowd. RJ and Juliette are both sitting in the audience, dreaming of him playing there naked, looking into their eyes. D's song is over, and he introduces a very talented singer up to the stage with him. Only it's not Juliette. NOPE. She looks as crushed as a 17-year-old boy being turned down by his crush at the school dance. I really almost feel for her. She's trying to be "Cool Girl," but she's not. She's just "Girl." A girl looking for a little country love of her own. Anyway, RJ hits the stage with D and they say they're going to sing a song they performed nearly 20 years ago. Only they don't sing, they just eye-f*** each other for a solid four minutes, and it's quite erotic. It even turns Scarlett's mind around about singing with Gungun, because she sees what they could be. Hell, even Old Man Watty is getting turned on in the corner. EVERYONE IS RED IN THE FACE. Jesus, is this Rated R? Rating: 9.5, because Juliette being so jealous she runs out of the bar is a memory just about everyone can remember from high school. Also, young love never dies.
[Image Credit: Katherine Bomboy-Thorton/ABC/KATHERINE BOMBOY-THORNTON]
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Fans of Country Strong, Crazy Heart, Friday Night Lights and I Love You Beth Cooper rejoice! Nashville is here and it's a battle of the hair for Connie Britton and Hayden Panettiere. The new drama is one of the most-talked about series this season and for good reason. All the things you love about a good country singin'/beer-drinkin'/floozy-hating' show are here... and the first episode starts off with a loud glittery bang. Of course, it's been scrutinized for being nothing new, and so I'm diving deep into cliché history to rank the moments (from 1 to 10) that deserve an eye roll, and those that actually stand out. Let's get started. Shall we?
Welcome to Nashville: Big Fancy Homes
We start off with a panoramic view of Nashville's fancy green pastures and straight into the fancy-schmancy home of our beloved Tami Taylor Rayna Jaymes (Connie Britton). Paintings on the walls, football on the big-screen, two little girls running around like adorable animals, kisses all around! How fun it is to set the scene of a drama -- we all know s**t's about to get cray, but for now things are nice. Really nice. Rayna's husband, Teddy Conrad (Eric Close), who we learn is a stay at home dad (for now), even takes some time to teach his kids about the family's assets. "We're a different kind of rich, called 'cash poor,'" he proudly says as they all hug and play in the narrow hallway. He is no coach Taylor (moment of silence, please). Not at all.
Rating: 5, because family life of a country star is quirky, Rayna doing her own hair in her room(?!?), lessons about money.
Bright Lights, Shiny Clothes
Connie hits the stage decked in so much glitter she looks like a Powerpuff Girl. Her voluptuous wavy locks bounce to the beat of her catchy tune as she gives a soft nod to her band leader, Deacon Claybourne (Charles Esten). Bingo. We've got a new man one minute in and he seems like the perfect smoldering hunk for our dear Rayna. "Thank y'all!" she hollers to the crowd, and we fade to black.
Rating: 9, because sparkles, potential lover, a blessing on stage.
Backstage, a doll-like creature who goes by Scarlett O'Connor (Clare Bowen) comes running over to her uncle Deacon with her boyfriend Avery (Jonathan Jackson), and she genuinely praises the show and the goodness that is Rayna Jaymes. We quickly find out Scarlett works at the Bluebird, the town's honky-tonk, and that she's not a songwriter (she just writes poetry, okay). Scarlett is all doe-eyed and dying for a shot! But she can't, because she's scared. She only writes poetry! It's not her time… yet.
Rating: 7.5, because innocent young girl who doesn't know the force of her talent, clueless boyfriend, Deacon connection.
The Competition: A Pretty Young Sassy Thing
We're introduced to Juliette Barnes (Hayden Panettiere), the twentysomething country hit who's bound to take Rayna's hair by storm. She's trouble, all right. More trouble than Leighton Meester in Country Strong, that's for sure. All glittered up and popping out, Juliette makes some demands concerning testing her new fragrance and spirals into total diva mode when a phone call comes through from her mother. She's asked to introduce herself to Rayna and to "be nice" but this sassy-act wouldn't dare do such a thing. Juliette doesn't know how to fake it, apparently, which could be detrimental in the country world. "I'm always nice," she shoots back, puffing up her hair-sprayed bird's nest. Walking over to Rayna's dressing room, she sees Deacon and must, JUST MUST introduce herself by giving him intoxicating come-hither eyes. And he's hooked. Lord help us. She's on a mission to show everyone she's not to be messed with, and she makes that very clear to Rayna when she says her mom used to listen to her music before she was even born. Burn.
Rating: 10, because a PYT with an attitude with a mission to seduce and take on a legend.
Trouble for Rayna
It has come to the country Queen's attention that she may not still be, in fact, the Queen. Her new tour isn't selling half as well as her last one and her music isn't grabbing the attention of enough younger things. According to her managers, she is left with the option of collaborating with Juliette on a joint tour of sorts, or shutting down her current one. The words "co-headline" has her in a furry, and she really goes mental when she finds out she wouldn't just be combining acts with Juliette, she would be opening for her! Blasphemy! Will she sell her soul to the minx or stand her ground as a class act? Welp, she has a few days to decide. The suspense, it's killing us all!
Rayna confides in her husband about this mess and he thinks the whole thing would be GRAND. Go ahead, lie about liking Juliette, he insists, "You've lied about much worse!" He apologizes for letting the family down, not sure what that's about yet, but says if worse comes to worse they can always borrow money from her dad. Now, this really gets her goat. Rayna would rather wait tables than be like her sister. Hell, she'd sell her damn soul on the street! They're clearly on different pages, but ultimately she says she's just going to have to figure something else out. With that, she runs to her producer Randy's (Burgess Jenkins) house and asks if there's a way to get her a new hit song. There, she bashes the young Juliette, only little does she know the vixen is wrapped in silk sheets like an oil painting on his bed, hearing every scorn-laced word. "It sounds like feral cats to me! Why do people keep pretending she's good," a fiery Rayna shouts. Game on.
Rating: 7, because the career problem, husband's unsupportive nature, family resentment, sex.
Nashville has a wealthy, powerful local politician who seems to rule everyone and, of course, that man is Rayna's father, Lamar Wyatt (Powers Boothe). Rayna comes running into an event that's proclaiming "Lamar Wyatt Day." (No, that is not a joke. Her dad is such a big deal, apparently, that there is no other way to convey this except for giving him his very own day!) Her sister Tandy (Judith Hoag) sits by his side, clearly the more-loved daughter. Ah, the family drama is a-brewin'.
Later, Lamar has a manipulative sit-down dinner with Teddy, where he suggests he run for mayor. What a fabulous idea! Teddy has no political background — according to Rayna he doesn't even like politics! — but it's a way for him to get back in the spotlight and take control of his family. Teddy is totally drinking the Kool-Aid his opposite-of-cash-poor father-in-law is feeding him. Lamar says something about destiny and fate and makes passive aggressive digs at Teddy's submissive father/husband current status. Just days later Teddy makes the announcement he'll be running, with Rayna next to him smiling widely at the crowd.
Rating: 6, because controlling father, easily convinced husband, supportive wife.
Every good country tale has its bar. You know, the one bar that exists in all the land, where everyone comes to drink and sing and stir drama and find love. For Nashville that bar is the Bluebird. And no surprise here, Deacon finds time to sing some of his sweet tunes on the mic amidst touring and being all famous and everything. His niece Scarlett waits tables and Oh! Wait! There's Juliette! She may have a No. 1 hit song, but she can also casually sit back and listen to her biggest crush (apparently) strum the guitar like she's got nothing else on the agenda. (By the way, Juliette cries REAL TEARS while watching him play so we know she's not actually Satan.) After his mini-performance, Deacon finds Juliette standing up against his car, working her seduction magic. She asks him with heavily glossed lips to record a song with her, batting her brown eyes and assuring they could have "a lot of fun on the road." It's safe to assume she means sex.
Rating: 10, because the bar provides exactly what it always does: a thickening plot line and the best music.
The One That Got Away
Here we have it, people. It's become crystal clear that Deacon and Rayna used to have something. Who am I kidding, we all know they still have something and it's about to get sticky, but for now we'll just have to live with a bit of the backstory. The two walk slowly and intensely over a bridge, rambling about their hopes, dreams, failures, the whole deal. Deacon tells Rayna that Juliette gave him a job where he'll get to write, and when her asks her why she never played more of his songs. Rayna replies by saying she was worried they were all about her. DING DING DING! Of course they're all about you, silly! He loves you! Country love! As if she needs more assurance, he confirms, "They are." Plain and simple. He seals his forlorn fate by saying he lost the one thing that could make him happy a long time ago. Oh this love runs deep, deep within his stubbled cheeks and distressed flannel. Rating: 9, because the love that could have been and maybe, just maybe, still might be. Family Secrets
It wouldn't be a country show without some more family drama. We already know that Rayna and her dad aren't exactly pals, but this is about Juliette. Juliette and her strung-out druggie mom. Yep! The reason her mom keeps calling is for more cash money to support her drug habit. This is a sad turn of events. Juliette perches in a storage closet or something and cries and cries about her sad momma. Just then Randy appears as if from nowhere and that's enough to turn Juliette on. Randy is all like, HELL YEAH! as she quickly conceals her tears by thrusting her tongue in his mouth. Just when we were starting to feel sorry for the girl. Oh well, baby steps. Rating: 5.5, because showing the young star acting her age, using sex as a manipulative tactic. Game-Changer
Rayna has her meeting with the label and they resurface the ultimatum. She almost begs, going through her resume and allegiance to the record company, but to no avail. And that's simply not good enough for the queen. After 21 years, she stands up, swings her strawberry blonde strands and sways out of the office. Sorry, fellas. WILL RAYNA FAIL? IS SHE DONE? Nope, we find out she is not. Because this episode has enough story lines for 45 Country Strongs. Back at the Bluebird, Scarlett's new local kind-hearted guy friend, who also just so happens to be a wonderful musician, insists they sing her poems on stage. Something they apparently practiced, for hours, because they are damn good. Of course, Scarlett has never sang on a mic. She sings like no one could possibly be watching, because Juliette wasn't just hanging out there or anything, and OF COURSE old-man legendary producer guy Watty White (J.D. Souther) is creepily sitting at the very back of the bar. And he hears something he likes. Oh he likes it, all right. He hears dollar bills and sold-out concerts. He quickly gets Rayna on speakerphone because she can so clearly hear every note that way. It looks like Scarlett's going to have to get over her stage fright because it seems she'll be joining the big leagues very very soon. OH, and I almost forgot, Juliette and Deacon are about to do IT. YES. Ugh, so very disappointed in him. Rating: 9.5, because the sweetest voice is always heard from the underdog and there's always always someone listening. Thoughts on the premiere? Was it everything you dreamed it would be? Will you keep watching? Sound off in the comments below. [Image Credit: Katherine Bomboy-Thorton/ABC/KATHERINE BOMBOY-THORNTON] Follow Anna on Twitter @thebrandedgirl More: Meet 'Nashville,' Y'all: Country's Strong With Connie Britton and Hayden Panettiere TCA 2012: 'Nashville' Stars Connie Britton and Hayden Panettiere Talk Music (City) ABC Debuts Trailers for 'Nashville' and More -- VIDEO
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Are you tired of fruitcake and Christmas cheer, but still want to observe that cozy wintry tradition of watching movies with the ones you love? Do you adore snow and biting cold, but not reindeer and elves from the North Pole? Would you rather hear dick jokes and see exploding planes than Santa saving Christmas and families gathering around a fire in matching red pajamas? Do you like stealing presents from adorable little snowflake-dwelling children and making your employees work on Christmas day? If you answered yes to any of those then you might be a bit of a scrooge, but before you get offended you should know I’m only here to help. Christmastime doesn’t have to be a season of apathetic groaning and eye rolling; you can have wintry fun too.
That’s why I’ve put together a list of alternatives for the Grinch in all of us, ranging from something for a mildly scroogey movie-lover to something that undoes an attack of momentary holiday insanity after a three month long season of endless carolers, bell-ringing Santa's on every corner and over-joyous elves wrapping your purchases at the mall. If you’re a scrooge of any degree, it’s okay. Embrace your distaste for the most wonderful time of the year and enjoy some of these alternative seasonal features.
Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
So you’re not completely scroogey, but maybe the typical visions of sugar plums have danced through your head one too many times. You need a Christmas movie that challenges the holiday's traditions, from the inquisitive montage where Jack Skellington tries to dissect candy canes and paper snowflakes to the undead Frankenstein-style flying reindeer to Santa-Jack’s terrifying presents that chase children around their homes, it’s a terrifyingly jolly way to celebrate the season of cheer without getting too cookie-cutter.
The Star Wars Christmas Special (1978)
So maybe you’ve seen Nightmare a few too many times. You need something even stranger. Enter the long lost Star Wars Christmas Special. Yes it’s strangely cute; yes it aims to put you in a yuletide mood; but is it completely INSANE? Yes, yes it is.
Dumb and Dumber (1994)
This is for fans of Christmas, Lloyd Christmas. The classic comedy isn’t really a Christmas movie but it does take a few of those holiday tropes and fart all over them. It’s the film that gives us Jeff Daniels defiling a snowman, violently pegging his lady-crush in the face with a snowball and taking on that famous scene from A Christmas Story by getting his tongue stuck to the metal pole on a ski lift.
This Bill Murray staple is the perfect comedic rendering of a traditional and oft overdone Christmas tale. You can still get the holiday moral without the heavy handedness of the original Charles Dickens tale (which I love, don’t get me wrong) - plus you may feel just a little less cantankerous when you get to the end (but not too cheery, don’t worry). I mean, the movie includes Christmas ghosts that smoke cigars and hit people with toasters: you really can’t go wrong here.
Die Hard 2 (1990)
A scroogey Christmas list isn’t complete without at least one Die Hard movie. Of course everyone goes with Die Hard, but don’t forget that the follow up was also a Christmas Eve escapade and it includes John McClane defeating a band of terrorists on a plane with little more than a lighter. What do I want for Christmas? Some true badassery, that’s what. Yippee ki-yay motherf***er.
It’s a wintry wonderland in Fargo, North Dakota, but the holiday spirit in this Coen Brothers classic is non-existent. There’s murder, intrigue, prostitutes, a pregnant police chief and that infamous wood chipper scene – and that red snow is anything but holly jolly.
Batman Returns (1992)
I’ll admit, there’s an exorbitant amount of Tim Burton on this list (I resisted adding Edward Scissorhands as well), but the man really knows how to screw up Christmas. Besides the fact that it’s a Batman movie and by default awesome, it gives us giant Christmas boxes full of bad guys, cuddly little penguins blowing stuff up and Michele Pfeiffer in head-to-toe leather (Merry Christmas, dudes). Besides who needs a plucky little elf when you can watch the Dark Knight save Christmas? (Or Gotham at Christmastime, but let’s not split hairs, okay?)
Bad Santa (2003)
He swears, he’s drunk, he’s just downright belligerent and his sidekick/elf is just as foulmouthed as he is. Billy Bob Thorton’s Bad Santa is the film equivalent of telling holiday cheer to suck it. Enjoy, scroogies.
The Shining (1980)
Here’s Johnny! While most people are getting excited about their winter breaks, looking forward to solitude, evenings by the fire with hot chocolate and Christmas carols, togetherness, peace, love and harmony - you know, all that baloney - take a dive into the ultimate bout of cabin fever with this Kubrick classic. By the end you’ll want to stay as far away from evergreens and wintry wonderlands as you possibly can.
Black Christmas (1975)
This is a film for the ultimate Grinch. Do you want to see Christmastime annihilated? Instead of an advent calendar do you keep a “Thank-God-There-are-only-____more-days-of-this-holiday-crap” calendar? Slash yuletide carols to tiny slivers with this original horror film from the 70s. Not only did it give us many of the slasher tropes that are a part of every modern horror flick, it literally turns Christmas into a sorority girl massacre. Ho-ho-horrifying. Enjoy.