Is it turtle time yet?
The latest adventure for the heroes in a half-shell is still a couple months away, but the newest trailer for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles gives us a somewhat new preview of Jonathan Liebesman and Michael Bay's burly, live-action update of the turtles. While we've seen most of the footage here before, we do finally get a glimpse at all four turtles in their element: Raphael is sporting a trademark scowl, Leonardo is looking stoic, Michelangelo is making jokes (and seriously freaking out April O'Neil), and Donatello is buried knee deep in his own gadgetry. Now that we've gotten a look at the foursome, the time has come to ask the all-important question: Which is your favorite Ninja Turtle?
It's a question that has broken friendships, forged new ones, and charged schoolyard debates for the past two decades. Your favorite turtle speaks volumes about the kind of person you are. We've decided to break out the old Psychology 101 textbook we didn't manage to sell back in college, and analyze your choice of your favorite Ninja Turtle.
Leo is the leader of the group and a devout student of martial arts.If you're favorite Turtle is Leonardo: You’re the alpha male. You’re a natural born leader, and you walk around with so much swaggering confidence and charisma, people glom onto you like thirsty leeches. You love to swoop in and solve petty squabbles, and you love the fact that people look up to you. Whatever interest you take, you feel the need to dominate in it. You’re a high school quarterback, the captain of the soccer team, the captain of the basketball team, the captain of the water polo team, hell, you even found a way to become the captain of the local AA group and you’re not even an alcoholic. You almost exclusively wear varsity jackets and you rotate them throughout the week on a very specific schedule. You often go out looking for old ladies to help cross the street. If no old ladies want to cross the street, you make them. You are almost literally the best at everything.Currently on your bookshelf: How to Win Friends and Influence People.Currently on your DVR: Law and Order: SVU. You get a contact high from all the justice. Watching Elliot Stabler hospitalize sexual abusers makes you as giddy as a schoolgirl. Justice feels so good.
Raph is the brawn of the group. He's aggressive and pugnacious. Two traits that often get him into trouble.If your favorite Turtle is Raphael: You're in serious need of anger management. You sometimes worry that you’ve forgotten how to smile. You've never encountered a fight you couldn't start...and finish. You love not only having anger, but having righteous anger, and any opportunity to really tell someone off should be cherished like a newborn baby, and you definitely hate babies. You want to gut your coworker that's been sniffling every five seconds for the past three hours. You get way too angry at the latest comic book film news well before it's time to form an actual opinion. You’ve already stopped reading because some stupid Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles personality guide isn’t gonna tell you how to live your life. The nerve of them. "The nerve of them" is also one of your most commonly used phrases. Deep down though, under all that hate and animosity, you really just want to be loved.Currently on your bookshelf: Tao of Jeet Kun Do by Bruce Lee.Currently on your DVR: Sons of Anarchy. Watching all those bikers rain blows upon everyone and thing they cross paths with is like meditation to you.
Nickelodeon Movies/Paramount Pictures
Mikey is the fun-loving, nunchakus-weilding, pizza-scarfing prankster of ther group. If your favorite Ninja Turtle is Michaelangelo: You’re the easy-going jokester of your group. Matthew McConaughey from Dazed and Confused is your patron saint of cool. You laze around to surf rock and wonder why puka shell necklaces aren’t a thing anymore... but you don’t worry about trends, because that’s just not your bag, man. You break out in hives if you’re away from the beach for too long. You also an avid fan of pizza. Like a really big fan. Like seriously, get some help, you have a debilitating pizza addiction. You’ve been banned for life from every Dominos in the tri-state area and just looking at a block of pepperoni can send you on a greasy downward spiral. But it’s cool, brah.Currently on your bookshelf: The Art of Pizza Making. (It was a gift!)Currently on your DVR: Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
Donnie is the brains of the group. He's the smartest turtle by an underground mile.If your favorite Turtle is Donatello: You’re a nerd and proud of it. You're super smart, and you take your friends to museums because it will be "good for them." You put a roll of tape on perfectly good tortoise-shell spectacles just to increase your nerd aesthetic. Did I mention you were into thick-framed glasses way before the collective population of Brooklyn claimed them as its ironic eyewear of choice? You take pride in having volumes of information at the ready at all times, and can roll out digits of Pi like bullets from a machine gun, and get a jolt of pride when some random factoid you know can be useful in conversation. You’ve made it your mission to be the smartest guy on the internet, and you’re actually alarmingly close. You make Trivial Pursuit your constant bitch.Currently on your bookshelf: Ulysses, because you wan’t to be that guy who says he understood Ulysses, and how it was actually quite the leisurely read.Currently on your DVR: Cosmos. You already know everything and more about astronomy, but you watch it the same way regular folks sometimes zone out to old Everybody Loves Raymond episodes they've seen a dozen times.
Kristen Bell and Michael B. Jordan have signed up to host the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences' Scientific and Technical Awards on 15 February (14). The Beverly Hills Hotel prizegiving will be held to honour the outstanding film achievements of 2013. Portions of the ceremony will air during the Oscars on 2 March (14).
A studio executive has played down reports suggesting filmmaker Martin Scorsese and actor Leonardo DiCaprio were heckled by a disgruntled screenwriter at a screening of The Wolf Of Wall Street on Saturday (21Dec13). Veteran actress Hope Holiday, who attended the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences event in Los Angeles, took to Facebook.com after the viewing to express her disgust at the film's drug-fuelled and sexually explicit content, and described a brief encounter between The Departed director and the unnamed protester.
In a post on Sunday (22Dec13), she wrote, "Last night was torture at the Academy - The Wolf Of Wall Street - three hours of torture - same disgusting crap over and over again - after the film they had a discussion... the elevator doors opened and Leonardo D. Martin S. and a few others got out then a screen writer ran over to them and started screaming, 'Shame on you, disgusting'."
However, a representative for Paramount Pictures has dismissed Holiday's version of events, insisting the actress' account was an "extreme" description of the encounter, which did not include any such "screaming", only a "negative comment" about the movie.
Scorsese has previously admitted the gritty film will not appeal to everyone, telling TheWrap.com, "It's brutal. I've seen it with audiences, and I think it plays. I don't know if it will be to everyone's taste - I don't think it will. It's not made for 14 year olds."
The film is based on disgraced New York financier Jordan Belfort's memoir, which chronicles his lavish life in banking and his subsequent downfall as he was jailed for securities fraud and money laundering.
The movie has already garnered a slew of award nominations, including two Golden Globe nods.
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Freshly limbered up from the world's most elaborate pre-workout stretching routine, it looks like Jean-Claude Van Damme is ready for some movie making, and his newest flick, Welcome to the Jungle, shows the actor wanting to show of his comedy moves along with his trademark martial arts kicks.
In the comedy, an entire company of office drones, including the likes of Children's Hospital's Rob Huebel, the distinctly voiced Kristen Schaal, and Dennis Haysbert are sent on a mandatory leadership retreat headed by Van Damme. Things go all Lord of the Flies really fast after the group's only pilot dies in the jungle, eliminating their only means of escape. Soon, separate tribes are formed, sticks are sharpened, and easy-fit khakis are turned into jungle-ready leotards.
This has certainly been the year of the survival film, and while films like Gravity and All Is Lost ponder the serious emotional implications of surviving a harrowing near death experience, Welcome to the Jungle settles with jokes about cannibalism and tigers... and maybe that's not such bad thing after watching so many depressing movies about this sort of thing all year long.
Selena Gomez is on the cover of the December issue of Flaunt Magazine, and along with her cover spot comes a short film that bares the inner-soul of a pop star. You'd need a liberal arts degree and a healthy dose of pretension to try to decipher meaning out of this black and white piece, and since we at Hollywood.com have both of those in spades, let's see what universal truths we can ring out of a three minute internet video.
The film titled Searching opens with thin strips of sunlight slipping through the clouds and hitting the mangled sign for the Rosslyn Hotel. We see Selena staring pensively out of her hotel room window. Since this is a short film, there's going to be a lot of pensive staring. Everything is black and white because monochrome makes things 30 percent more deep and meaningful. Next, we see Selena in bed with a hunky guy wearing an expression that says "Oh my God! I think I left the iron on at home." The two of them the appear in a series of shots where they struggle to produce believable chemistry together before Selena sets off on her search. She walks through the halls of the hotel as paint peels from the ceiling overhead. We ask ourselves what the pop starlet could be doing in such a run down hotel? Maybe life isn't going the way she wanted. Selena bumps into someone with a face mask that bares more than a passing resemblence to Ms. Gomez herself (oohhh spooky!)
de Cadanet & Mahoney/Flaunt
Selena walks the streets of LA searching for whoever she's looking for, but she can only seem to find unhelpful runway models dressed in designer clothing throughout the whole city. Time then starts to move backwards (What does this mean? I don't know but it's probably super deep). We then see Selena sprawled in her hotel room's bed, her search unsuccessful. The camera pans out, and we finally get a glimpse of the person she was searching for...It's a picture of Selena herself (whoa man this is like Inception-level deep). Why is Selena searching for a version of herself with longer hair? In our opinion, it seems that Selena wants to go back in time to Wizards of Waverly Place. A time with longer hair, more colors, and before Spring Breakers was ever made. A time filled with the pastel colors and the simple plots of a Disney channel sitcom. She wants to be that person she was before but she can't. Now she's the type of person that stars in obnoxious short films for fashion magazines.
Getting a movie based off of your YA novel is pretty darn easy these days. Try getting an entire theme park based on your book series — now that's when you know you've really made it as an author. The Hunger Games might soon join the ranks of Harry Potter as Lionsgate is considering building a Hunger Games theme park... because nothing says fun like a fascist dystopia! So what amazing rides and attractions will dot the landscape of "Hunger Games World"?
The GALExyAn interactive shooting game based on Gale Hawthorne's life. It begins in District 12, hunting deer and other forest animals, and gradually turns into the rebellion/war where you fend off attackers in the Capitol. Whoever wins gets a life-size cardboard cutout of Liam Hemsworth.
The Emotional Roller CoasterBe Katniss in the midst of a love triangle and make wild, whiplash inducing twists and turns as you struggle between Peeta and Gale. Featuring the 300-ft high Hill of Self-Reliance... which you never go over.
Peeta-Perfect CakesIf you don't have the fortitude to experience the Emotional Roller Coaster, why not embrace the sensitive baker in all of us by visiting Peeta-Perfect Cakes. This gentler portion of the park is filled with activities like: cake decorating, arts and crafts, and poem writing. All activities are instructed by a Peeta look-a-like.
Effie's TrinketsA gift shop filled primarily with gaudy jewelry and fashion accessories. You are chosen by a lottery run by the elaborately uniformed cashiers to be able to purchase the items of your choosing, or be vanquished to the dire fate of a postcard and a keychain.
Cinna's Capitol Makeover SpaAdults can take a break from a busy day of children and coasters by relaxing at a luxurious spa modeled after the affluence of the Capitol. Sit back and relax while you’re primped and primed by dozens of men that vaguely resemble Lenny Kravitz.
Keanu Reeves might know kung-fu, but does he know his way around a katana? The film star fights his way through a fantastical version of 18th century Japan in 47 Ronin.
In the film, a robe-garbed Keanu plays Kai, a half-Japanese warrior that is freed from slavery and must accompany an outnumbered group of 47 samurai in their plot for revenge. The trailer features sword slashing a-plenty but this isn’t your standard martial-arts action movie. There is a large thread of mysticism running though the film's samurai tale, with endless monsters and beasts, along with regular samurai-foot soldiers, looking to end Keanu's quest for vengeance.
It's been a complicated road for the 47 Ronin both on screen and off, with the drama spilling out from the Japanese pseudo-history and into the production side of the project. The film has been plagued with reshoots, and the budget has been said to exceed 200 million, an unfathomable number for a martial arts film. The film will also be released on Christmas day, a time of year filled with competition just waiting to slice chunks out of Ronin's film gross. There is also the worthwhile discussion on the ethics of creating a half-white character for a story steeped in Japanese history and myth, just so Keanu can play the lead while a largely Asian cast is sidelined to mostly supporting roles. Questions of race in cinema and film budgeting aside, 47 Ronin looks like a fun bit of counter-programming for the holiday season.
Predictably, the government shutdown has had absolutely no effect on the crazy goings on in Hollywood. Check out some stories you might have missed.
There will now be a celebrity gymnastics show. It sounds dangerous, but Deadline has the story.
Real Housewife Melissa Gorga wrote a book and it's terrible and offensive. Prepare to be horrified by the excerpts you read on Hollywood.com.
Kit Harington, Kate Mara asked to test for the Fantastic Four remake.Find out what roles they're testing for at the A.V. Club.
Orange is the New Black cast reenact this scene from Scandal. Watch the actresses who play Taystee and Crazy Eyes get dramatic at Entertainment Weekly.
Exxon sues FXX for using the same letter of the alphabet they did.Read the ridiculous tale at Hollywood.com.
Britney Spears did not like the Breaking Bad finale, Bryan Cranston sort of consoles her. The cute (?) story is at MTV.
Ann will probably return to Parks and Rec for a few episodes after her departure. Read a lot of other unknown news about the show at Vulture.
On last night's Late Show with David Letterman, America's best friend Tom Hanks revealed that he has been diagnosed with Type-2 Diabetes. The always affable Hanks softened the blow by laughing off his condition, joking that after years of battling high blood sugar, he had "graduated" to the more serious condition.
In a report from CBS, Dr. Holly Phillips suggested that Hanks' work as an actor might have contributed to his development of the disease. Hanks has had an illustrious career that has required him to transform his body for certain films. He had to lose dramatic amounts of weight for roles in Philadelphia and Cast Away while gaining weight for films like A League of Their Own and Catch Me If You Can. These extreme and sudden fluctuations in weight may have led to his development of the disease at an older age. Type 2 diabetes is a very manageable disease, and provided Hanks takes care of himself, he can live a perfectly normal life.
Even amidst the news of his condition, it's comforting to see Hanks and his trademark charisma lighting up the room. The actor goes on to inform Letterman that his doctor told him that he could effectively reverse the condition by slimming down to his high school weight, to which Hanks replied, with the perfect dose of snark: "Well, then, I'm gonna have Type-2 Diabetes, because there is no way I can weigh as much as I did in high school... I weighed 96 pounds in high school." Only Hanks could tell us he has a disease and brighten our days in the same conversation.
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There has always been something a little bit off about the idea of J.J. Abrams directing both the new Star Wars and Star Trek films. Whenever the thought occurs to us, we get this creepy crawling sensation under our skin, like some unwritten rule is being violated. Star Wars and Star Trek are the two most iconic science fiction properties, and the fact that their new continuations are being helmed by the same guy feels sort of taboo. The two series are just so radically different. Star Wars is an action adventure story while Star Trek has always been a more adult-minded, philosophical television and film series. Now that they are both under the thumb of Anrams, there are fears that the two movie series will feel too similar. Abrams certainly has an eye for sci-fi spectacle, but he hasn't quite captured the beating heart that makes Star Trek so beloved to its fans. What if this same disconnect happens to the upcoming Star Wars: Episode VII?
We already know about the rumors surrounding Benedict Cumberbatch's possible casting in the new film, but what about the rumors regarding Simon Pegg? In an interview with The Independent, Pegg denies involvment in the new film, saying, "I don’t think it would be appropriate for me to be in it, to be honest. I think J.J. should cast new faces with no stunt casting." Pegg continues, "I wouldn't want to be popped out of the film by a knowing cameo. I think it would be great to do it properly.'
Saorsie Ronan is also being rumored to be in talks for the film. Young, fresh-faced actors like Ronan are the kinds of people Abrams should be approaching. The original films succeded partly because they casted unknowns who could perform the roles without any excess baggage or expectations.
Pegg has the right idea. With the rumors of Cumberbatch's casting, It feels like J.J. Abrams might not be focusing enough on making a Star Wars movie, but making a J.J. Abrams movie, bringing his same cast of actors together for another romp through lens-flared space without considering the differences between the franchises. If the same director making both movies was weird, then having an actor as recognizable as Cumberbatch pop up in both series is downright sacrilegious. Suspension of disbelief is a fragile thing, and having Khan bellow lines on the Enterprise and then show up in the Millennium Falcon will shatter it to pieces. There is a special magic infused in both of these movies that makes them feel so different, and allows them to stand the test of time. With any hope, J.J. Abrams will see that and deliver a film that feels uniquely like Star Wars. Casting Ronan would be a step in the right direction.
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