Sweet Valley High is just like any other high school. Everywhere there are hot guys, fast cars, perfect tans, and blinding highlights. And there’s never a moment where one of the Wakefield twins isn’t dealing with extreme romantic drama. Twin sisters Elizabeth and Jessica were opposites in every way, except in their ability to attract attention. They spend their whole lives fighting each other, and now it seems they’ve got to fight those who don’t believe they’re really bringing their young adult drama to the big screen.
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“Sweet Valley High is happening. And nobody believes me, but it’s happening,” says screenwriter Diablo Cody ( Young Adult). The Oscar-winning screenwriter spoke to Hollywood.com at Barnard College’s Women in Hollywood event, which marked the opening night of the annual Athena Film Festival.
But what’s the hold-up, lady? You’ve finished helping put the Evil Dead remake together (something she refers to as “adding a bit of her weirdness”), so where’s SVH?
“It’s just that when we made the decision to do it as a musical, and write original music, that takes time,” she says. “At this point all the musical material is ready, the script is written. We just have to find the perfect director.”
Of course, with her focus on finding a director (and the good news is, she’s got a “very short” list of folks for the job), she’s yet to cast the Wakefield twins themselves. She does, however, have an idea of who she’s like to take the role of Bruce, also known as Jessica’s one true love. “’ll just say that there’s a certain like bad boy teen heartthrob who would be interesting in the role of Bruce,” she teases. Go ahead and start theorizing, SVH fans! And keep in mind, that Cody denied eying Twilight hunk Robert Pattinson. “No, but I love him! He’s my dream man!” she jokes.
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Alright, Wakefield fans, start your theories now. What teen heartthrob do you think Cody is eying for her totally-happening-despite-the-musical-delay adapatation?
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The nature of the polarizing remake of classic horror flick The Evil Dead has been a giant question mark since the first whispers of its inception began. Fans cried foul, and all the while original star and remake producer Bruce Campbell trucked along, making way for a modern take on the movie that made him a star. Enter Sam Raimi's all powerful influence, director Fede Alvarez's vision, and before you know it, you've got a recipe for extreme terror.
New York Comic Con saw the first ever footage from the controversial remake on a couple of big screens. By the time the never-before-seen trailer was through, the crowd was absolutely uncontrollable. They loved it. They really loved it.
Here's what we saw in the creepiest trailer you will ever see:
The trailer opens up on the cabin, which is to be the site of all horrors. After a quick introduction to the characters, we zoom right in on that fateful cellar door, the entrance to a cave of horrors: at first. all we see is a creepy den of dead, hanging cats, but it turns out to be a whole lot more. As the action escalates, we witness Jane Levy as the female Ash (named Mia in this new incarnation) as she becomes possessed by a demon. Before we can catch our breaths, the horror escalates as we witness her cohorts taking off their own limbs, blood spurting in vicous splashes against various surfaces. But it gets worse.
Finally, we get to a teaser of the scene Levy calls "tree rape." A possessed tree picks Mia up, entwines its every limb around her every limb, and while we can't see exactly what's happening, the look of sheer pain and terror on Mia's face is enough to make anyone have nightmares for a month. The finale is a quiet scene between a possessed Mia and one of her friends, and Mia is so far gone, she's splitting her own tongue with a razor with a disturbing fervor.
But that's not all. Campbell, who entered the room in a bright red blazer to riotous applause and cries of "BRUUUUCE," certainly knows how to keep a panel interesting, so it would be a great tragedy if we didn't give you a rundown of some of the highlights of the Evil Dead panel The Bruce Campbell show (director Fede Alvarez and star Jane Levy were there too, you know):
On Hollywood loving remakes: "They'll never learn their lesson. Thank God. I got two kids in college." - Bruce
Why isn't he in this movie? "Maybe it's just too late to strap on that chainsaw." - Bruce (This was followed by booing in disagreement. People really love Campbell.)
Fans, stop worrying. You're going to like it. "You're impatient people. You're rude, crass, impatient people ... You will be the judge of it, but we did not screw you with this movie ... If you need me to crown this girl Ash right now, I'll put the f**king crown on her head right here right now." - Bruce
The Director on why he did it: "If Sam Raimi asks you to do something like that, you don't say, 'No thank you, I don't believe in remakes.'" - Fede
Why did Diablo Cody write the script?: "As middle-aged men, we don't really know how young people talk ... and she won a f**king Academy Award." - Bruce
On what we'll see in this Evil Dead: "Maybe or maybe not tree rape." - Jane
How serious is Bruce about picking the right hero?: "Bruce was the one in the auditioning room trying to scare me away, or trying to make sure I was up for the job ... He said, 'Do you know what it feels like to be buried alive? Do you know what its like to have tubes stuck down you're throat so you can projectile vomit on people?'" - Jane
No nostalgia for this movie: "This movie stands on its own. We don't need silly props or references for you to go, 'Oooh, look!' ... This movie will be like putting on a comfortable shoe ... for you Evil Dead freaks out there, you'll be like, 'Oh, this is an Evil Dead shoe.'" - Bruce
But really, is it going to be scary?: "I've never seen that scene and that just scared the s*** out of me." - Jane
And if that's not enough: "Hardcore horror, violent, brutal, gory." - Fede
Really. It's terrifying: "I swear to God, I'm so scared right now. I'm so freaked out right now." - Jane
Remember when Bruce was in Spider-Man? He does: "I did not let Spider-Man into the theater to see his girlfriend perform, so technically I'm the only character who ever defeated Spider-Man." - Bruce
Who'd win? Bruce's Burn Notice character or Ash?: "Sam would win, Ash would cheat." - Bruce
Seriously, it's going to be good. Bruce says so: "I know you fans were pissed when you heard about the remake, don't think I didn't read about it ... I will accept all of your collective apologies when this film comes out ... I will be there in spirit in every frame of this movie. It's time to pass the torch." - Bruce
The remake has a secret: "If you listen to all of the characters' names, it might spell something out." - Jane
[Photo Credit: New Line]
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Hollywood is a cruel world of glitz and glam. It’s a place that loves to build you up and tear you back down, and for some folks, the only way to stay afloat is to take whatever ungodly, unbecoming, silly, derivative, potentially aimed at over sugared kids, and often desperate roles they can find. There’s a landscape rich with tales of celebs’ desperation to stay in the spotlight, but these are just a few of our favorites.
1. Heather Graham in Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer
Former reputation: After her role as Felicity Shagwell in 1999’s Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, Graham became known as nothing less than a bonafide hottie. Men wanted her, women wanted to be her, but her career hasn’t been so kind, and aside from that cameo in The Hangover, she’s virtually disappeared.
Desperate move: She stars as the super cool, fun aunt in Judy Moody and The Not Bummer Summer. She’s gone from bouncing around in tiny outfits to helping am 8-year-old cross fun things off her summer to-do list.
2. Jennifer Love Hewitt in Everything, but Specifically Garfield
Former reputation: She’s another fallen hottie. Best known for things like Party of Five and I Know What You Did Last Summer, Hewitt has since lost the title and picked up an awful nickname that even I think is just a little too mean (not to mention, wildly uncreative): Jennifer Love Desperate.
Desperate move: Well, everything since about 2000 could fall into this category, but I think it all went downhill when she did Garfield. Yes, as in the 2004 half-animated “comedy” wherein Bill Murray tried desperately to kill his career.
3. Brendan Fraser in Furry Vengeance
Former reputation: He was a golden boy of sorts. Audiences loves him and his abs in George of the Jungle which allowed him to star in a slew of throwaway comedies before scoring the series we know him best for: The Mummy and its sequels.
Desperate move: Suddenly, Fraser disappeared off the face of the planet (perhaps because he kept insisting that everyone pronounce his name a certain way when he should have just been grateful we were pronouncing it at all), and just as suddenly he popped back up in a little ol’ movie called Furry Vengeance as a developed plagued by animals because he’s trying to destroy the environment. This does entail a port-a-potty stunt. I think you get the idea.
4. Dwayne “The Rock Johnson in Tooth Fairy
Former reputation: There was a time when Dwayne Johnson was somewhat of a badass. Granted, all his badassiest moments are in terrible movies like The Scorpion King or they take place in a very staged wrestling ring, but still, he was mean, angry and audiences loved him for it.
Desperate move: Who knows why he did it, because he can clearly still get work as an oversized buff guy in things like Fast Five and The Other Guys. Instead, he put on fuzzy wings, went by a title with the word Fairy in it and listened to Julie Andrews and now that’s all I can think about when he’s walking around with a lead pipe in his hand.
5. Hilary Duff in Gossip Girl
Former reputation: She was a teen queen, and she was the good one (nothing like that Lindsay Lohan train wreck). She starred in all the cutesiest pre-teen movies, made every little girl want to be like Lizzie Maguire and even recorded an album.
Desperate move: With her firm hold on the teen market slipping – as these things tend to go – and her age pushing her firmly out of that realm, Duff had to do something, anything to stay relevant. So she went on Gossip Girl, but that’s not even the worst part. She went on Gossip Girl to play a hyped version of herself mixed with Kristen Stewart and her character participated in a threesome with her boyfriend and his best friend. If you're looking for desperate, this is it.
6. Heather Locklear in Melrose Place (Redux 2009)
Former reputation: As Amanda Woodward on Melrose Place back in the 1990s, Locklear solidified her rep as an incredibly sexy mega bitch, and it served her well until about 2001.
Desperate move: Finding that nothing else seemed to be working, Locklear returned right back to square one: Melrose Place. Only this time, it was on a CW reboot with an all new cast that only made her look even more desperate. Oh, and did I mention it didn’t even make it past its first season?
7. Paris Hilton in The World According to Paris
Former reputation: Well, her reputation has never been good – she rose to fame for that infamous sex tape – but her fame has been higher before. She’s the reason half of America lost their brain cells in the first decade of the new millennium. It took some people a while to learn than “That’s hot” is not an acceptable response to anything. While we’re at it, let’s go ahead and blame her for tiny, ugly dogs in purses, too much pink, and skirts that refuse to actual cover girls’ asses.
Desperate move: The World According to Paris is her attempt to stay famous now that she’s 30 and most of America has seen the error of their ways and her attempt to “set the record straight.” All we’re learning is that wisdom does not come with age and personally, I’ve got a theory that that much pink kills brain cells (but you know, it could be that illegal white powder she keeps in empty Chapstick tubes).
8. Cuba Gooding Jr. in Snow Dogs
Former reputation: He was Cuba Gooding Jr. (bear with me), an Oscar-winner, the man who asked us to show him the money in Jerry Maguire, the one who made us laugh in a little Oscar-winning film called As Good As It Gets, the one who was a serious actor on the rise.
Desperate move: Then he wasn’t. And as if he had no hope of every returning to those days of glory, he took on Snow Dogs. There are literally six dogs with bigger pictures than Cuba on the poster for this movie. Oh, and then there’s the part about how it was absolutely awful.
9. Frankie Muniz in Agent Cody Banks Series
Former reputation: He made us laugh as Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle. We loved that tortured little rascal, then suddenly, the show was over and no one cared anymore.
Desperate move: Muniz wasn’t willing to just disappear. He even made some effort preemptively, before the show ended. He tried that terrible movie with Amanda Bynes, but Paul Giamati was in it, so we’ll give him a pass. The really awful move came when he not only made Agent Cody Banks, but he made Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London. Honestly, I don’t know what else he could have done, because for me it’s Malcolm or bust.
We knew that with the departure of Michael Scott from The Office, we'd see some major changes and some of those changes will come in the form of new faces -- three new faces to be exact. On that front, we now know one of those faces will be Cody Horn, the model turned actress who spent a little time on Rescue Me as the perfect woman with the slight issue of "post-coital flatulence." Yikes. While she's not exactly known for her comedic chops just yet, and unlike much of the cast, she hasn't been honing her jokes for the past few years before joining the show, but she may just be the wake-up the show needs once we're all done mourning the loss of Mr. Scott. (Besides, if she accepted that role on Rescue Me, she's got to have a self-depreciating sense of humor.)
Horn will be joining as a "sweet and smart" new staffer whose role will be recurring with the potential to become a regular. But will there be romance? Paul Lieberstein, the show's executive producer and the actor behind the worst person ever (duh, Toby), has an idea or two about that, "We’ve been searching for a love interest for Creed for a long time. So just sit back and get ready to be disgusted." I know he's completely joking, but that actually wouldn't be the worst idea ever. (Only for a single episode though because Creed's creepiness is powerful stuff. Small doses only.)
Horn is the first of three new office mates; the next two faces will be Stanley's daughter (who we've already seen on the show multiple times, but maybe he has more than one?) and a new member for the accounting department. Oh helllll no. Angela and Oscar are going to have a collective heart attack. Well Oscar might just have an "actually..." fit and Angela's brow might furrow so hard it gets stuck that way. On that note, who's excited for new blood at Dunder Mifflin (Sabre, womp womp)?
Source: TV Line