OK, guys? We need to talk about Danny and Mindy. Because tonight, it seems like someone's self-conscious got on board the Mindy Train and we're excited to see what happens. And in one moment in particular, the spark appeared: namely, Mindy and Danny's shower scene. Out of context, it sounds steamy (all I do is pun, folks), but it was also sort of steamy in context, as well. Because it was the first time we've actually seen some serious chemistry and interest between the two seemingly-destined lead characters. And, man, that Danny Castellano sure does the casually-sensual-man's-man thing well.
Danny is totally developing a crush on Mindy — even if he doesn't realize it now, the stage has been set. I mean, did you see the way that he looked at her while they were intimately chatting in the bathroom? COME ON. It made me a wee bit jealous of Chris Messina's in-real-life lady love, his stare was so passionate. Plus, let's be serious: the man has a pair of lips that literally probably anyone could get behind.
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Anyway, I'm getting distracted when there is still so much to be said! Because this week, Mindy was the Richard Gere to Seth Meyers' brother's Julia Roberts (his name is Josh Meyers, in case you were wondering) on The Mindy Project. That's right, we were straight up Pretty Womaning this s**t, y'all. The rom-com tropes never end. Only this one didn't end as fancily as the classic 80s film.
Nightlife is the right life in New York City — unless your friends are a bunch of uptight already-betrotheds who would rather sit at home watching Panama Canal documentaries rather than go out. But Mindy's a modern gal, and so she takes herself out for the night ...only to be mistaken as a potential client by male prostie Adam. Woops! Never a good time to accidentally hire one of those, am I right?
But Mindy was determined to see the good in Adam. After all, he is an aspiring musician. So she brings him as her date to Danny and Alex's house party ...that she wasn't invited to because Danny hates her boyfriends. Hmmm! Interesting. Sorry — distracted by the destined romance. Anys**t, everything was going fine and dandy until it wasn't, and then Adam admitted to the whole place that he was a sex worker and we all went home embarrassed, confused, and well-kissed (apparently Adam wasn't kidding about his mouth work abilities).
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Nevertheless, in-like definitely seems to be on the horizon for Danny and Mindy, though if we've learned anything from this show, it'll be far from stereotypically romantic. But that's why we love Mindy, right? We're rooting for her to learn (one day) that love isn't like the movies, and sometimes the greatest things can be hiding right in plain sight. Swoon.
What was there to learn about love and dating this week? Enough to make a list, so let's get down to business, shall we?
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1.) Do Not Mistake Business as Flirtation: You know what they say about mixing it with pleasure!
2.) Do Not Get Tacky When You're Drunk: It just sends the wrong signals. Like you're giving a male prostitute the go-ahead to turn the meter on.
3.) Do follow the rules of Pretty Woman: Not kissing is like, rule numero uno, dude.
4.) Do Be Offended When You're Left Off a Friend's Guestlist: Because what the f**k is that about, FRIEND?
5.) Do Try to Open Up: That's how all the good stuff gets in.
6.) Do Not Give Yourself Private Tours of Other People's Bedrooms: It's just not polite.
7.) Do Not Ever Apologize for Bringing Wine Into The Shower: but definitely do apologize for leaving it there (who leaves wine, amirite!?).
8.) Do Break Awkward Tensions with Song: Whooooooo doesn't looooove siiiiingiiiiiiiiiiiiiing?!
9.) Do Not Try To Pretty Woman a Male Prostitute: It really only works with Julia Roberts.
10.) Do Lean on Your Friends When You're Feeling Down: Morgan could lift the spirits of a wooly mammoth.
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[Photo Credit: FOX]
A kids’ movie without the cheeky jokes for adults is like a big juicy BLT without the B… or the T. Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted may have a title that sounds like it was made up in a cartoon sequel laboratory but when it comes to serving up laughs just think of the film as a BLT with enough extra bacon to satisfy even the wildest of animals — or even a parent with a gaggle of tots in tow. Yes even with that whole "Afro Circus" nonsense.
It’s not often that we find exhaustively franchised films like the Madagascar set that still work after almost seven years. Despite being spun off into TV shows and Christmas specials in addition to its big screen adventures the series has not only maintained its momentum it has maintained the part we were pleasantly surprised by the first time around: great jokes.
In this third installment of the series – the trilogy-maker if you will – directing duo Eric Darnell and Tom McGrath add Conrad Vernon (director Monsters Vs. Aliens) to the helm as our trusty gang swings back into action. Alex the lion (Ben Stiller) Marty the zebra (Chris Rock) Gloria the hippo (Jada Pinkett Smith) and Melman the giraffe (David Schwimmer) are stuck in Africa after the hullaballoo of Madagascar 2 and they’ll do anything to get back to their beloved New York. Just a hop skip and a jump away in Monte Carlo the penguins are doing their usual greedy schtick but the zoo animals catch up with them just in time to catch the eye of the sinister animal control stickler Captain Dubois (Frances McDormand). And just like that the practically super human captain is chasing them through Monte Carlo and the rest of Europe in hopes of planting Alex’s perfectly coifed lion head on her wall of prized animals.
Luckily for pint-sized viewers Dubois’ terrifying presence is balanced out by her sheer inhuman strength uncanny guiles and Stretch Armstrong flexibility (ah the wonder of cartoons) as well as Alex’s escape plan: the New Yorkers run away with the European circus. While Dubois’ terrifying Doberman-like presence looms over the entire film a sense of levity (which is a word the kiddies might learn from Stiller’s eloquent lion) comes from the plan for salvation in which the circus animals and the zoo animals band together to revamp the circus and catch the eye of a big-time American agent. Sure the pacing throughout the first act is practically nonexistent running like a stampede through the jungle but by the time we're palling around under the big top the film finds its footing.
The visual splendor of the film (and man is there a champion size serving of it) the magnificent danger and suspense is enhanced to great effect by the addition of 3D technology – and not once is there a gratuitous beverage or desperate Crocodile Dundee knife waved in our faces to prove its worth. The caveat is that the soundtrack employs a certain infectious Katy Perry ditty at the height of the 3D spectacular so parents get ready to hear that on repeat until the leaves turn yellow.
But visual delights and adventurous zoo animals aside Madagascar 3’s real strength is in its script. With the addition of Noah Baumbach (Greenberg The Squid and the Whale) to the screenwriting team the script is infused with a heightened level of almost sarcastic gravitas – a welcome addition to the characteristically adult-friendly reference-heavy humor of the other Madagascar films. To bring the script to life Paramount enlisted three more than able actors: Vitaly the Siberian tiger (Bryan Cranston) Gia the Leopard (Jessica Chastain) and Stefano the Italian Sealion (Martin Short). With all three actors draped in European accents it might take viewers a minute to realize that the cantankerous tiger is one and the same as the man who plays an Albuquerque drug lord on Breaking Bad but that makes it that much sweeter to hear him utter slant-curse words like “Bolshevik” with his usual gusto.
Between the laughs the terror of McDormand’s Captain Dubois and the breathtaking virtual European tour the Zoosters’ accidental vacation is one worth taking. Madagascar 3 is by no means an insta-classic but it’s a perfectly suited for your Summer-at-the-movies oasis.