This week’s episode of Glee, “Sweet Dreams,” highlighted three different storylines of characters following their dreams. Finn in college hoping to become a teacher, Rachel’s journey in NYC to become a Broadway Star, and Marley in Lima trying to show the glee club her original songs. If I’m being perfectly honest this week — with the exception of the New York storyline — was a giant waste of time. But I’m here to recap it for you anyways. My apologies Glee-bees, there’s quite a bit of snark ahead.
So Here’s What You Missed On Glee
Original Songs 2.0: Coach Roz is back and she announces that she’s taking over the Cheerios and it’s clear that she is still just as blunt as ever. After a long-winded bragging monologue in the teachers lounge she asks Will, “How’s your delicate group of weirdo’s? Are they still rattled by that that fake school shooting?” Will quips back that last week’s episode was a traumatic and terrifying experience for all the students but then the conversation quickly turns to making amends with Finn. (Side-Note: Um, hi, I’m sorry, what? I knew that Glee was going to gloss over the “school shooting” but if this is any indication of how the matter is going to be treated then ughhh.)
Marley is getting an inner monologue as she walks down the hallway noticing all of the strange PTSD behavior that the McKinley kids are going through. Brittany is apparently getting pressure from MIT to commit to early acceptance, Tina is trying out a new look called “Steam Punk,” and Sam is trying to convince everyone that he has a smarter, Australian twin brother named Evan Evans. Oh and Unique is popping two birth control pills a day to “turn her B’s into D’s.”
(Side-Note: No, just no to all of this. No no no no no. Remember how Season 2 was all about different-themed episodes that never really moved the storylines forward? I feel like the Lima side of Season 4 is just a hot mess of wacky costumes, erratic behavior and storylines that I honestly don’t even care about. It makes me sad to admit that, but it needed to be said. Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.)
Will announces that the theme for Regionals this year is “Dream” so they’re going to take the theme as literally as possibly and only use songs that have the word “dream” in the title. Some of the more gullible glee-clubbers are excited (Yes, I’m looking at you Ryder!) but Marley asks if they could try out some original songs like they did two years ago — and then Will quickly shoots her down.
Blaine, as “Honorary Rachel,” holds a secret meeting of the glee club to talk about the extremely outdated songs that Will chose. Marley once again pitched the idea of using her original songs but the group said “No!” faster than Sam and Evan could switch places. (Side-Note:I feel like Marley’s face is always stuck in that confused, sad puppy frown. Girl you need to figure out a new hobby or something because I feel like you’re becoming one giant rain cloud.)
Back in the choir room, Blaine announces that the group came up with some fresh alternatives to his outdated tunes and almost instantaneously, Will flies off the handle. He snarls, “I honestly I don’t even know what’s going on in this room any more, what happened to you guys?” (Side-Note: Uhh, didn’t they just go through a fake yet traumatic school shooting? Calm down Will, is your sweater vest a little too tight this afternoon?)
Marley asks Blaine, Unique and Sam/Evan to meet her in the auditorium and then asks them to sing one of her original songs with her. The piano begins a somber tune and the foursome starts singing, “You Have More Friends Than You Know.” (Side-Note: I think this was supposed to be a sweet bonding moment but goodness gracious! That was the most horrible thing I’ve ever had to sit through except for waiting in line at the DMV. I was about ten seconds away from falling asleep and then this recap would’ve been just a bunch of Zzzzzzzzzzzz’s.) Somehow, the group absolutely loves Marley’s song and tells her to try and talk to Mr. Schue again — little to they know he’s creepily watching them from the side of the stage.
(Side-Note: This is the point where I’m supposed to talk about the scene between Coach Roz, Blaine and Becky in which Roz made the two Cheerios recite an oath to not put a “voo-doo hex” on her. However that scene was a gigantic waste of our time so I’m just going to skip over it. All you need to know is Roz is obnoxious, Blaine is still on the Cheerios for some reason, and Becky is starting to crack.)
NEXT: Hello Gorgeous!
Hello Gorgeous: We open the scenes in New York in the most wonderful way possible — with a Rachel voiceover describing why she is absolutely perfect for the role of Fanny in the Broadway Revivila of “Funny Girl.” (Side-Note: I love this! She’s acting exactly like the Rachel we first met and fell in love with. She’s a big dreamer with a slightly condescending attitude who believes that her talent is enough to take her straight to Broadway. Welcome back Rachel Barbra Berry! We’ve missed you more than you know!)
After some quick ooh-ing and aah-ing in the mirror, fans are treated to a small glimpse of 5-year-old Rachel (She’s adorable!) and a shrine for the one-and-only Barbra Streisand. (Side-Note: Sometimes I swear like that Bushwick loft is expanding! Every time I see it, it seems bigger and packed with ever more shabby chic pieces that I want for my apartment. Sigh) She reminds herself that long ago, Barbara was once an unknown small town Jewish girl and with a perfectly placed eyebrow, and a quick, “Hello gorgeous,” Rachel is ready to take on this audition.
Before Rachel can wow the judges with her star-quality, she needs to find the most perfect song. While thumbing through her massive repertoire a familiar face entered the scene — Shelby! Rachel is delighted to see her mom but originally didn’t tell her about the audition because she didn’t want to remind Shelby that this is a role that she never got to play.
Shelby smiles and says, “I love my life, I do. It’s not the life I always imagined I’d be liviing but I have Beth and I have the new Broadway Daycare business and we’re both in the same city now so I get to see you. I have no regrets.” (Side-Note: Attention Viewers: Beth is apparently alive and well! Now if only we knew what Quinn was up to…)
Shelby announces that she is there to help her “incredibly beautiful daughter” find the perfect audition song. (Side-Note: Wait, I just realized, has Rachel always had bangs this season? What happened to her hombre hair? She just looks so drastically different now that Grody Brody is out of the picture.) Shelby pulls out some sheet music and the mother/daughter duo breaks into a lovely version of “Next to Me.” (Side-Note: Everyone stop what you are doing!! The Queens Lea Michele and Idina Menzel are singing a perfect song!! Pay attention! Dare I say it? I think that was better than “Poker Face.” Gasp!)
In Lima we see that Finn is getting a phone call, looks at the screen and takes a deep breath before answering. “You’re probably still pissed about Brody so I’ll start by saying that I’m sorry and that my hand still hurts, his face has sharp edges.” Rachel smiles and says that she actually owes her former fiancé a debt of gratitude and she wishes that he had stayed in New York for a bit longer. (Side-Note: Squee! I love that Rachel was never mad about the Brody beatdown.) The two share some small talk about Finn’s new college life and then get onto the subject of Rachel’s audition.
Rachel is looking to Finn for advice on which song to sing and as always, he has the perfect answer: “You’re one of the most unique talents in the world, you always shine your brightest when you do something personal something intimately important that defines you.” (Side-Note: Finn goes on to say even more amazing things but I couldn’t hear there because I was too busy hyperventilating with excitement that this phone call is happening. I love that through it all they’re always there for each other.)
Right away It’s time for Rachel’s “Funny Girl” audition and she takes the stage announcing that she is going to be singing a “classic.” The familiar tune begins and Rachel break into a smile-inducing performance of “Don’t Stop Believin’”—a Glee classic for all you newbies out there. Halfway through the performance Rachel imagines that 5 other original New Directioners are singing along with her, providing her with love, confidence and support. (Side-Note: Not gonna lie, I totally got a little teary-eyed during this performance.)
NEXT: Party Like a Frat Boy!
Party Like a Frat Boy: The episode begins and we see that Finn is already enrolled in The University of Lima and he’s quickly finding that college is not nearly as scary as he once thought — it’s actually really fun! (Side-Note: Does anyone have any idea as to which month is it in Glee-land? Given that we haven’t gone to Regionals yet, I’d say maybe February? I’m just trying to figure out how Finn magically popped into this 4-year college in the middle of a semester.)
However there appears to be one downside to being in college at a time like this — every single person is trying to make a Harlem Shake video. From the library, to the quad, and even Finn’s own dorm room, he can escape the craziness. Finn decides to embrace the obnoxious YouTube sensation and when someone in a sleeping bag is squirming to the beat on his floor, he unzips to see his best bro inside. (Side-Note: How adorable was Finn’s little squeal when he saw that it was Puck? I swear I haven’t seen his face light up that much since the superman of kisses at Nationals)
The next thing we know, Puck is dramatically slipping and sliding down their hallway slip n’ slide and Finn is using an iron to make everyone grilled cheeses. (Side-Note: Okay, be honest: who else was totally thinking about “Grilled Cheesus” right now? Ahh good times. And by good I mean that was such a strange and bizarre storyline.) Two girls walk by Finn into the bathing suit-filled bash and he stops them asking for their tickets.
Clearly there are no tickets necessary, but Finn manipulates the dumb blondes and asks for their bikini tops instead. They happily agree and Finn’s eyes light up as he watches the promiscuous bimbos slide down the hallway with their breasts out for all to see. (Side Note: Awww man... Not a fan of skeevy Finn. You're better than this honey!) All of the sudden Will appears in the hallway and apologizes to his former best man and asks him to come back and help coach the New Directions to victory. Finn not-so-politely declines and then rushes down the slip-n’-slide. (Side-Note: He should’ve taken off that tank top. Just saying…)
Over in the world’s most cliché college party Puck and Finn are rocking out to The Beastie Boys’ “Fight For Your Right (To Party)” and everyone absolutely loves them — they even automatically get asked to join a Fraternity. (Side-Note: That would never ever happen bee tee dubs.) It’s clear that Finn has been partying a little too much because Puck finds a note from one’s of Finn’s professors that he has missed another test. (Side-Note: That would also, never ever ever happen. Professors in college don’t care if you miss a test, or fail their class, so they’re sure as heck not going to write you a little note reminding you to show up to class.)
Puck gets oddly irritated at Finn telling him this is not high school and he needs to quit fooling around and focus on his dreams of becoming a teacher. (Side-Note: I’m sorry Puck but weren’t you the one standing next to him getting wasted at all of these parties? I love that you’re trying to help your friend but please stop being so hypocritical. Also, WTF I thought you were dating Kitty?) The two best bros decide that it’s time to become the best versions of themselves and they even sealed the deal with a silly little handshake.
Finn finds Will in the auditorium reliving the glory days of when Glee was actually good and tells him that he’s ready to come back to help coach the club. Finn reveals that the dean is willing to give him college credit for the time that he helped out with the Glee club. (Side-Note: Once again this is another thin that will never ever happen in college.) Finn says that he will only comeback if he and Will are equals and a brief hug, all is back to normal between the late thirties teacher and his 19-year-old best friend. (Side-Note: Did you know that in real life Matthew Morrison is only 4 years older than Cory Monteith?? Crazy I know.)
The Final Five: Will admits to the group that he’s sorry that he was acting like a stubborn douche and goes on a rant about his old glee club director Lillian Adler. (Side-Note: Okay seriously , what is the big deal about this woman?? We’ve never even met her and it seems like this season every time Will or Finn look at her picture they’re on the verge of tears.) Will introduces their new, and permanent, co-glee club director Finn, gets them pumped for nationals — which at this point is like two years away — and then reveals that they want to hear more of Marley’s songs.
Rachel is desperately waiting for news from the “Funny Girl” producers and we finally get a brief yet glorious HummelBerry moment. Just as Rachel was about to go on a rant about the narrow-minded people she sang for, her phone rings and after a brief freak-out she answers. It turns out, in a not-so-shocking twist that Rachel got a callback for Fanny and she is one step closer to achieving her dreams. (Side-Note: I just wish we were able to witness a second Finchel phone call in which she would excitedly reveal the good news to Finn. Sighh. A girl can dream right?)
The episode ends with the New Direction singing another one of Marley’s original songs, “Outcast.” (Side-Note: Okay this is basically “Loser Like Me,” and Marley’s desperation to be a carbon copy of Rachel is getting absolutely ridiculous. Are my eyes deceiving me or is she actually wearing an owl sweater? Ugh this is a joke right? I hate to admit it but I’m completely over the Lima side of Glee and its going to take something seriously special to bring me back.)
Most Heartwarming Moment: Watching Rachel and Kurt excitedly jump up and down after Rachel learned she got a call back.
Most Heartbreaking Moment: Finally realizing that Season 4 is becoming a huge waste of our time.
“They really want me to study string theory, but I’m not all that interested in arts and crafts.” — Brittany
“I’ve got to shave my hello giggles.” — Puck
What did you think of “Sweet Dreams”? What was your favorite part of the episode? Does anyone care about the Lima side anymore? Sing your thoughts in the comments below!
Follow Leanne on Twitter @LeanneAguilera
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There are currently three things that are making me ridiculously happy: 1) Peppermint Coffee. 2) Bundling up in sparkly scarves and 3) Obsessing about what’s coming up next on our favorite shows. Okay, maybe that last one is a regular thing, but TV scoop never ceases to make me smile. While some shows are now hibernating in their holiday hiatus, others are just getting started. This week’s edition of Leanne’s List features a fun mix of immediate teasers and long-term spoilers to bring you TV-induced cheer. I screened the winter premiere of Pretty Little Liars and wrote down all the best oh-em-gee moments, chatted with a Revenge hunk about the upcoming action-packed drama, and gushed with Candice Accola on The Vampire Diaries’ newest dilemma. Plus, get all the scoop on Scandal’s future fiascos and American Horror Story: Asylum’s terrifying fall finale!
1. Pretty Little Liars: A Fiery Premiere
I literally just finished watching the winter premiere of Pretty Little Liars and all I can say is: That. Was. A-mazing! Not only is the episode totally worth the wait, but it answers a bunch of your burning questions that are left over from the haunted Halloween special. Who did Aria stab on the murder train? Is Mr. Montgomery a giant creep? Will Toby take his shirt off? I’ll go ahead and answer that last one with an enthusiastic, yes! The episode—appropriately entitled, “She’s Better Now”—opens with Mona creeping on her former bestie the night before she returns to Rosewood High. That’s right y’all. Little Miss Straight-Jacket is returning to the judgmental halls of high school and she’s armed with a plan to win back the affection of her peers. But will the Liars see through her?
The episode also introduces us to a few new faces—hello Grandma Marin!—and highlights a few oldies that we’d definitely like to forget. There’s some kind of a marathon going on which is the perfect excuse to distract the entire town while our fearless foursome break into yet another locked room of secrets. (Side-Note: make sure you have a bobby pin handy for said break-in, a paper clip just won’t do.) Lastly, be prepared to witness Toby do some very intense A-type things, but overall the episode is a blast. Literally.
Wanna know more about what’s coming up on Pretty Little Liars? Of course you do! Later this week I’m chatting with Executive Producer Oliver Goldstick to get all the A-wesome scoop on what’s to come later this season. Leave your questions for your favorite little liar in the comments below and I’ll be sure to pass them along!
2. Revenge: The Badass is Back!
This second season of Revenge has been an interesting one. Any show with a phenomenally kick-ass first season has a difficult time in their sophomore slump, but according to new on-screen hottie Barry Sloane, there is plenty of drama headed our way in January. For the less-obsessed: Sloane plays Aidan, Emily’s new beyond-attractive love interest and future boyfriend to countless swooning couch-potatoes across the country. Sloane was kind enough to dish on the drama’s newest love-square, but today we’re talking action. Emily and Aidan were both trained to exact their plans of revenge under their ruthless Japanese mentor Satoshi Takeda, and Sloane says we haven’t seen the last of Takeda’s influence. “I think there’s a lot more to come from Takeda… That guy and his motives are very strange.”
Sloane then addresses the elephant on screen: “Obviously, there was a recast which I think is very interesting for everyone. He’s made a very different type of Takeda and a very dangerous sort of enemy.” [TV Vet Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, 62, replaced Lost's Hiroyuki Sanada when Sanada left Revenge to play the villain in The Wolverine.] Although season two has presented us with a new Takeda, Sloane warns that his influence over Emily and Aidan is still just as strong. “There’s certainly going to be more about what his motives are and who he is and what he wants from the pair of them. He’s done a lot for [Aidan and Emily] … So I’m sure if he’s asking something of them, they’re quite inclined to do it.” Fingers crossed Takeda asks Emily to scissor-kick Fauxmanda in the head just for fun.
3. The Vampire Diaries: To Cure or Not to Cure?
The fact that there could possibly be a cure for vampirism has been overshadowed by Elena's transition—and continuous whining—for the majority of Season 4, but what about everyone else? Could another Mystic Falls vampire be interested in a returning to a mortal lifestyle? The perfect vampire, aka TVD star Candice Accola, reveals that her character, Caroline, has definitely thought about using the cure for herself. "Caroline and Klaus touched on it very lightly in the last episode," Accola notes. Fans will remember that before Caroline’s transition way back in season one, she was an overly controlling, and slightly annoying, insecure know-it-all who was desperate for attention and praise.
Being a vampire has lead Caroline to gracefully mature and be the best version of herself, but this possible new path is something she will continue to contemplate when the show returns from its winter hiatus in January. "I think that question will thematically run throughout the next couple of episodes when we come back in January," she promises. But would Barbie Vamp really want to give up her immortality just so she could walk in the sunlight without a magic ring? Accola teases, "You'll have to watch to find out!" Elena can do what she wants, but personally I’d be super bummed to see our former Miss Mystic Falls, leave her badass lifestyle to be a wimpy human again.
4. Scandal: First Lady Problems
Wow. This season of Scandal has been a whirlwind to say the least, and the whole attempted assassination plot isn't getting resolved any time soon. (Last time I checked, you don't recover from a shot to the head very quickly, if at all.) But that doesn't mean we'll have to wait to find out what happens with the rest of Scandal's ultra-dramatic plotlines. Dun dun duuun! To get us some answers, I chatted with Bellamy Young—who plays First Lady Mellie Grant—to find out what’s coming up on the ABC drama. Young explains that although her character will continue to hold court at her husband's bedside, the voting machine conspiracy she's involved in will get even more complicated.
"What people have been calling the DC5—the whole election-rigging storyline—will really start to play out and just get so complicated and so surprising," Young teases. We'll get some answers as to how these people came together, but in true Scandal fashion, that'll only lead to more questions. Young was kind enough to present us with some examples: "Is it or is it not related to the assassination plot? Who's going to be really left accountable for all of it—either together or singly?" But there’s one thing we do know for sure: this week’s episode, “Blown Away,” is definitely not one you’ll want to miss.
5. American Horror Story: Asylum: Oh Come All Ye Frightful
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, make sure you have a buddy—preferably a big strong man—with you before you sit down to watch this week’s episode, “The Coat Hanger.” Major revelations will hit Briarcliff patients during tonight's fall finale—in both past, and present. Be prepared for some miraculous resurrections because we’ll see the return of characters you thought were gone for good.
Horror fans will also receive some key insight into those little green men. In fact, those LGM's (not nearly as cute as the ones in Toy Story bee tee dubs) will lead to a very unlikely duo teaming up. Oh and did I forget to mention that one of our leading ladies is preggers? Lastly, expect to see another Briarcliff resident done up like a classic Christmas figure — in the most haunting and horrifying way possible. Merry (early) Christmas, folks!
Are you excited for Emily and Aidan to get closer? Think that Caroline should used this fabled cure for vampirism? Scared for the fall finale of AHS:Asylum? Have and questions for what’s coming up on Pretty Little Liars? Tell me everything in the comments below!
Follow Leanne on Twitter @LeanneAguilera
—Additional reporting by Jean Bentley, Kelsea Stahler and Shaunna Murphy
[Photo Credit: ABC (2); ABC Family; The CW; FX]
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Yesterday, a video sprouted from the felt-heavy community of Sesame Street to grace the Internet. Unfortunately, for whatever reason (the Internet works in mysterious ways), it was taken down shortly after. But now it's back. And it's one of the most accurate parodies the educational series has set forth in a while: a parody of Glee.
Sesame Street used Fox's whirlwind series to embrace the episode's theme of the letter "G." The skit actually captures a lot of the characters really closely; fan favorites like Rachel (Lea Michele), Finn (Cory Monteith), Mercedes (Amber Riley), Kurt (Chris Colfer), Artie (Kevin McHale), Brittany (Heather Morris), Quinn(Dianna Agron), Mr. Schue (Matthew Morrison) and Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch) are not free from lampoonery. Rachel's obsession with the spotlight, Mercedes' incurable attitude and Brittany's flighty whisper are all mimicked in an affectionate yet funny way. In fact, the puppeteers even got Sue's high-energy mannerisms down to an eerily specific tee. But for all fans of Glee, or of Sesame Street, or of the letter "G," this is an entertaining watch.