After Dark Films
It seems a bit odd to take on a movie review of Courtney Solomon's Getaway, as only in the loosest terms is Getaway actually a movie. We begin without questions — other than a vague and frustrating "What the hell is going on?" — and end without answers, watching Ethan Hawke drive his car into things (and people) for the hour and a half in between. We learn very little along the way, probed to engage in the mystery of the journey. But we don't, because there's no reason to.
There's not a single reason to wonder about any of the things that happen to Hawke's former racecar driver/reformed criminal — forced to carry out a series of felonious commands by a mysterious stranger who is holding his wife hostage — because there doesn't seem to be a single ounce of thought poured into him beyond what he see. We learn, via exposition delivered by him to gun-toting computer whiz Selena Gomez, that he "did some bad things" before meeting the love of his life and deciding to put that all behind him. Then, we stop learning. We stop thinking. We start crashing into police cars and Christmas trees and power plants.
Why is Selena Gomez along for the ride? Well, the beginnings of her involvement are defensible: Hawke is carrying out his slew of vehicular crimes in a stolen car. It's her car. And she's on a rampage to get it back. But unaware of what she's getting herself into, Gomez confronts an idling Hawke with a gun, is yanked into the automobile, and forced to sit shotgun while the rest of the driver's "assignments" are carried out. But her willingness to stick by Hawke after hearing his story is ludicrous. Their immediate bickering falls closer to catty sexual tension than it does to genuine derision and fear (you know, the sort of feelings you'd have for someone who held you up or forced you into accessorizing a buffet of life-threatening crimes).
After Dark Films
The "gradual" reversal of their relationship is treated like something we should root for. But with so little meat packed into either character, the interwoven scenes of Hawke and Gomez warming up to each other and becoming a team in the quest to save the former's wife serve more than anything else as a breather from all the grotesque, impatient, deliberately unappealing scenes of city wreckage.
And as far as consolidating the mystery, the film isn't interested in that either, as evidenced by its final moments. Instead of pressing focus on the answers to whatever questions we may have, the movie's ultimate reveal is so weak, unsubstantial, and entirely disconnected to the story entirely, that it seems almost offensive to whatever semblance of a film might exist here to go out on this note. Offensive to the idea of film and story in general, as a matter of fact. But Getaway isn't concerned with these notions. Not with story, character, logic, or humanity. It just wants to show us a bunch of car crashes and explosions. So you'd think it might have at least made those look a little better.
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What is life going to be like without Joy? No, I'm not asking an existential question that you're going to have to dig out your college philosophy textbook to answer, I'm asking specifically about The View — the ABC chicken coop that has been clucking wildly at itself on our screens for the past 16 years. Joy Behar, the only founding chicken on the panel (beside mother hen Barbara Walters, who created and owns the franchise), is leaving to explore greener pastures or, in this clunky extended metaphor, other coops.
So what will the show do to replace the older funny lady on the panel? Well, we have some suggestions on who might be good for the role.
RELATED: Joy Behar Leaving 'The View'
Sarah Silverman: One of the funniest ladies in Hollywood doesn't have a regular gig and that, ladies and gentlemen, is one of the greatest travesties of our day. Silverman has the same liberal politics as the retiring comedian, but she has something that Joy never did: punchlines that work. She's probably way too edgy for Barbara and the show would probably have to pay the guy who bleeps the cuss words on the seven-second delay extra to keep her mouth under wraps, but this would be nothing short of genius.
Kathy Griffin: If the show is getting rid of one aging red-headed funny lady, why not replace it with another one. No, not the ghost of Lucy Arnez, Kathy Griffin. Her Bravo talk show isn't working out that well (either in the ratings or the format) but I have a feeling that she would flourish in this environment. And she would be getting constant side-eye from Barbara, which means GIFs galore.
Rosie O'Donnell: I know we've been down this road before, but the last time that The View was really explosive was when this divisive host was on the panel. Remember her fights with Elisabeth Hasselbeck? Her feud with Donald Trump? Her dramatic exit from the show? Oh, this would make for some great television, especially because Rosie is crazier than ever.
Barbara Walters to Return to 'The View' After Month-Long Hiatus
Jane Fonda: Now that Joy is leaving who is going to make tired hot flash jokes and make inappropriate comments about sexuality at an advanced age? Barbarella will! Yes, Jane Fonda is smart, candid, and increasingly fearless as she matures. She also has scads of famous friends to bring to the show and her remembrances of Hollywood parties gone by are probably better than any starlet hawking her new movie.
Whitney Cummings: Her E! talk show didn't really pan out so it's not like she has much else to do. Well, you know, other than tend to her two sitcoms that are on the air. On second thought, this broad may need to share with the rest of the world. She has enough on her plate.
Courtney Stodden: Admit it, you would watch the hell out of this.
Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan
[Photo Credit: ABC; WENN]
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At some point in the early years of the 21st century a bunch of Hollywood executives must have gotten together and decided that animated films should be made for all audiences. The goal was perhaps to make movies that are simultaneously accessible to the older and younger sets with colorful imagery that one expects from children’s films and two levels of humor: one that’s quite literal and harmless and another that’s somewhat subversive. The criteria has resulted in cross-generational hits like Wall-E and Madagascar and though it’s nice to be able to take my nephew to the movies and be as entertained by cartoon characters as he is I can’t help but wonder what happened to unabashedly innocent animated classics like A Goofy Movie and The Land Before Time?
Disney’s Winnie The Pooh is the answer to the Shrek’s and Hoodwinked!’s of the world: a short sweet simple and lighthearted tale of friendship that doesn’t need pop-culture references or snarky dialogue to put a smile on your face. Directors Stephen J. Anderson and Don Hall found some fresh ways to deliver adorable animation while keeping the carefree spirit of A.A. Milne’s source material in tact. Their story isn’t the most original; the first part of the film finds Pooh Piglet Tigger and Owl searching for Eeyore’s tail (a common plot point in the books and past Pooh films) and hits all the predictable notes but the second half mixes things up a bit as the crew searches for a missing Christopher Robin whom they believe has been kidnapped by a forest creature known as the “Backson” (it’s really just the result of the illiterate Owl or is it?).
The beauty of hand-drawn animation all but forgotten until recently is what makes Winnie the Pooh so incredibly magnetic. There’s an inexplicable crispness to the colors and characters that CG just can’t duplicate. It’s a more personal practice for the filmmakers and should provide a refreshing experience for audiences who have become jaded with the pristine presentation of computerized imagery. The film is bookended by brief live-action shots from inside Robin’s room an interesting dynamic that plays up the simplicity of youth ties it to these beloved characters and brings you right back to memories of your own childhood.
With a just-over-an-hour run time Winnie the Pooh is short enough to hold the attention of children but won’t bore the parents who will love the film mainly for nostalgic musings. Still it’s the young’uns who will most enjoy this breezy bright and enchanting film that proves old-school characters can appeal to new moviegoers.