Filmmaker Tyler Perry has U.S. TV host Jay Leno to thank for getting him out of a traffic ticket after he name-dropped the local celebrity as he was pulled over on his way to the funnyman's studio. The Alex Cross star was rushing to a taping of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno on Thursday (23May13), when he bypassed a ramp metre as he was merging onto the 101 Freeway in Los Angeles, where red and green light signals are used to regulate the flow of traffic.
However, Perry admits the officer let him off with just a warning when he mentioned he was on his way to visit the beloved comedian.
During his appearance on the show, he said, "I got pulled over on my way here. You know that thing that says one car per green when you're about to merge onto the 101? They mean that. I jumped the light. I waited a few minutes, but I was late, the traffic was bad...
"Officer Jay Meyer pulled me over, he was really great though, he was really professional. He was like, 'Where are you going?' 'I'm going to see Jay Leno,' - you got me out of trouble.
"He said, 'I'm gonna let you go this time, but don't ever do it again.' I said, 'Yes, sir. Yes, sir...' It was a get out of jail free card!"
Now if Revenge can settle in and consistently deliver episodes like “Illumination,” it might just have a chance to get back on track. There weren’t any major deaths or high seas adventures in the Hamptons sudser’s latest installment. Just good, old-fashioned character development and the smart introduction of potential new complications--and villains. There were no Ryan brothers, no Padma, no Jennifer Jason Leigh as Crazy Mommy, no Initiative goons. Mind you, “Illumination” seemed like it could have followed the Season 2 pattern of “resolve nothing, just add new characters” with the introduction of Collins Pennie’s Eli, Emily’s former foster brother, and “The Falcon,” the mysterious hacker who helped frame her father. But these introductions somehow felt more organic to the story.
Not that the episode began promisingly, though. At this point, Emily VanCamp’s opening narration is practically the equivalent of Ellen Pompeo’s at the start of any Grey’s Anatomy installment: it establishes the central theme around which all the hour’s storylines will revolve. I mean, how can we accept writing like this: “Carrying a secret is like carrying a flame. Hold onto it, and eventually you’ll get burned.” Yikes. And, see, the flame motif is relevant because Emily was accused of burning down her foster family’s house!
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“Illumination” quickly course-corrected by giving us a sight we’ve been craving for far too long: Charlotte in a schoolgirl uniform! It’s about damn time. She was all gaga for her parents, for once, because they were creating a charitable foundation in Amanda’s honor. Really, Charlotte? You think your parents have suddenly become all benevolent, charitable, and respectful of Amanda’s memory? Have you forgotten that your mother pushed her over a balcony? Of course, as soon as she left the room Conrad and Victoria began plotting how they could make Aidan the new David Clarke: they’d fabricate evidence to make it look like he was using Grayson Global to fund the Initiative’s next act of terrorism and funnel their own money into the Amanda Clarke Foundation to protect it in case the Feds freeze their assets following whatever investigation will inevitably follow.
Emily gave $250,000 to Victoria in a bid to be the fund’s co-chair. Yeah, that wasn’t going to happen. Before she could leave Grayson Manor, though, her foster brother Eli James (a name that sounds like what would happen if the author of Fifty Shades of Grey became the pastor of a Houston megachurch) showed up. He’s in the rare books trade and heard about Amanda’s death whilst in London. Odd that he would show up to pay his respects and not Amanda’s mother. Anyway, he threw Emily a knowing glance upon taking a good hard look at her, a glance that suggested he knew who she really was, even though he hadn’t seen her in 14 years. “Do you think we’re dealing with another Tyler?” Nolan asked. God, let’s hope so.
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Eli continued to sniff around all the Suffolk county hotspots, which meant he inevitably strolled into the Stowaway. Lucky for him, Emily was there too. Just the person Eli wanted to see. She continued her charade, but, pointing to Jack, Eli said, “He’s not the footloose guy you told me about.” Then he flipped over her wrist to see her double infinity tattoo. Yep, it was his foster sister after all. “Lookin’ pretty good for a dead girl.” It turns out, though, that he had known about her identity swap some time ago, because when he showed up at the Beaver Dam looking for her, the girl with the name Amanda Clarke was decidedly different…as in, a completely different person.
But what did Eli want with this information? He’s obviously not a rare books seller. In fact he had a pretty extensive criminal record, and if he quietly left the Hamptons quietly Emily would employ a more technologically savvy friend to wipe his record clean. Plus, she’d give him a little money to sweeten the deal and really start fresh.
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Meanwhile, Daniel’s on the verge of losing his mind. He’s the CEO of a company being used to fund major terrorism and he has to comply with the Initiative or he and his family will be killed. And yet he refuses to pin their crimes on Aidan. This can only end in terrible unhappiness. So he got into a scuffle with a guy at a bar, and who should be there to hold him back but Aidan himself. The 007-wannabe really wants that board seat. And who should also be there but Conrad Grayson, sitting behind a pillar. All schemers on this show hide behind curtains, outside windows, or behind pillars to overhear others conversations. Conrad, of course, really wants Aidan on that board, so as to pin their own crimes on him. Be careful what you wish for, Mr. Mathis.
NEXT: Let’s go Falcon hunting! Revenge just may have gotten the villains we’ve been looking for all season.
Jack’s been trying to figure out how he survived his high seas adventure. Who pulled him from the water and ferried him back to shore? So he asked the harbormaster and said the guy who rented the boat that brought him in paid cash to buy it outright afterward, so as to cover his tracks. He didn’t know his name but he was tall, had sandy hair, and blue eyes. It had to be Nolan, right?
You know when I knew that “Illumination” was really going to be good? When we had another big shindig at Grayson Manor. We’ve gone too long without a big party on this show. All were in attendance, and Eli indicated that he’d accept Emily’s offer of a one-way trip out of Dodge. Nolan wiped clean his record, Emily gave him a $100,000 check...and Eli didn’t leave. “I don’t think your faux bros intends to hold up his end of the bargain.” Cancel that check, Emily! So she decided that a better way to get rid of him would be to hint not so subtly to Ashley that the Graysons shouldn’t feel comfortable having this guy under their roof, especially with Conrad’s gubernatorial ambitions.
Eli decided to take the mic to talk about his relationship with Amanda. He said that the two of them were “invisibles” because their foster family didn’t really want them. So, to make certain there wouldn’t be other invisible children out there, he’d donate to the Amanda Clarke Foundation the sum of $100,000. Yeah, 100 Grand is a lot of money, but becoming a Grayson sycophant is worth even more. Then Jack showed up, took the mic, and obsequiously praised Conrad and Victoria himself. Nolan asked him what gives with all the Grayson love? Jack said he was “Practicing lying through my teeth like you and Emily. If you were my friends you would have told me the truth and wouldn’t be rubbing elbows with the people who destroyed her.”
The time came for Victoria to appoint her co-chair. And it was Mr. Eli James! When Ashley told her that Emily disapproved of Mr. James, that made her like him all the more. This guy is here to stay, folks. But it was a compelling debut. Having someone in the mix who knows Emily’s true identity but doesn’t necessarily have her best interests at heart could be just the wrinkle this show needs.
Oh, and after all of his hesitating, and a tearful meeting with Emily confessing everything that his parents had done to David Clarke and how they were planning on doing the same to Aidan, Daniel still decided to appoint Aidan to the board. When the chips are down Spaniel always doubles down on Grayson.
Conrad and Victoria were positively crowing over their success with the Foundation. I loved the smug little nursery rhyme banter they exchanged, with Victoria saying, “The King sat in his counting house counting all his money,” and Conrad’s reply, “The queen sat in the parlor eating bread and boozing.” Their overconfidence was their weakness, because just next door Nolan and Emily plotted to use the Carrion program—capable of breaking through any firewall and never leaving a trace—to break into the Foundation’s bank account and spirit away all of Conrad and Victoria’s money once they’d placed it in there. I mean, things were looking really good for Emily and Nolan right now. He’d just mocked up a fake deed showing that the boat that dropped Jack off at the dock belongs to Kenny Ryan, to deflect attention from him. And now they were about to hit the Graysons in their most sensitive area: their pocketbooks.
But as soon as Nolan executed the program to begin the cyberheist, a green firewall popped up, looking all like a Matrix-style code waterfall, blocking their access. Yep, there’s another program out there even more powerful than Carrion. And right in the middle of it was a bird of prey with wings unfurled: the mark of The Falcon. Consider him the “Anonymous” the Revenge-verse. The Falcon was the legendary, but forever unidentified, hacker who the Graysons hired to alter their digital footprint and incriminate David Clarke for their own crimes all those years ago. He’s still active, working for Conrad and Victoria again, and making it impossible for Nolan to steal their money. This is the man who, perhaps more than anyone, made it possible for her father to take the fall. And this season just found its White-Haired Man. Taking him down will be another way of avenging her father and sticking it to the Graysons, or as Emily said about The Falcon to close the episode, “Let’s go hunting.”
What did you guys think of “Illumination”? Did you think it was a step in the right direction? Are Eli and The Falcon the villains we’ve been waiting for throughout all of Season 2? And is anyone else as excited as me that Mason Treadwell is returning next week? Wouldn’t it be awesome if he were The Falcon?
Follow Christian Blauvelt on Twitter @Ctblauvelt
[Photo Credit: Richard Foreman/ABC]
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At the end of the new movie Seeking a Friend for the End of the World the world actually ends. Spoiler alert! (In fairness, I am going to be giving away the endings of various and assorted movies, so if you think you're going to get to some of them before 12/21/2012, you might want to read something else.) Actually, it's not really a spoiler, because it's right there in the title. The world is going to end. You shouldn't be surprised when it does. The world ends. Kaboom. Kapley. Kaplow!
Otherwise, Seeking a Friend is a rather formulaic rom-com where a man's wife leaves him (because the world is ending) and he is thrown together by fate (because the world is ending) with a younger woman who is completely inappropriate and his total opposite and they eventually get together before being ripped apart again (because the world is ending). But we've been taught by every movie that we've ever seen that in a sunny and optimistic picture such as this, there will be some last-minute reprieve, that something will go amiss (or won't), and everyone will live happily ever after in peace and happiness. Well, stop waiting for that white knight because, based on what we're seeing in movies these days, he is not coming. There is no redemption.
Seeking a Friend isn't the only one eradicating all human life. Melancholia is also about an asteroid hitting Earth and wiping it out of the solar system. And (big spoiler here) Cabin in the Woods turns from your standard issue horror spoof into a documentation of how galactic forces destroy the planet. Yes, in movies these days, instead of it just being a threat to rally against, the world is actually ending. Like, for real.
There have always been movies about the end of days or some sort of cataclysmic disaster, but it was always averted. It was about humanity soldiering on and rebuilding from the rubble. In Deep Impact, the world is hit by one meteor, which causes mass destruction, but a second one is blown to smithereens before any impact, deep or otherwise. The end of the movie focuses on the rebuilding of the White House. The same year, Armageddon destroyed a meteor using nuclear bombs and Aerosmith songs so that Liv Tyler could go on to have Ben Affleck's babies. Ten years later, in 2012, the planet is literally falling apart, but it ends with the few remaining survivors congregating to start life anew. Only two years later, that hope has been wiped out.
In Cabin in the Woods, humanity's final blow is nothing more than a morose plot point, a clever little twist for a movie that is predicated on clever twists. (What makes it a great twist is you never think the world will actually end in a movie, so it seems that twist will never work again.) In Melancholia, also the name of the celestial object that spells our doom, the Armageddon is a symbol for a deep depression that overcomes one woman and who finds her way out of it, only to watch everyone around her fall into their own state of the blues (which is curiously the color everything turns just before impact). While literal, the end is mostly symbolic about how different people deal with the pain of living, not the emptiness of dying.
Something different is at work in Seeking a Friend, which shows Steve Carell's Dodge waking up one day to find that his life is ending both literally and figuratively. It's your classic mid-life crisis, "you're wasting your life" movie, but in the past this character would turn things around because he has cancer (Funny People), an angelic intervention (It's a Wonderful Life), or just general neurosis (American Beauty). Now the only thing that can make someone change is the end of the world, when it is just too late to change.
It seems like the Meliorist Myth (as English majors would call it) that things in America are always getting better is at an end. We live in a world where the economy collapsed and is slow to recover, the climate is acting erratically because of the strain humans put on it and seems not to be stopping, and China with all its people and money seems to be taking over as the world super power. As far as Americans are concerned, the world is over. Even in our political system there has been change after change from Democrat to Republican to Tea Party and back again and nothing is getting fixed. It is the end of the world. We're all obsessed with it, just like the Mayans predicted.
And this isn't just a liberal outlook on things, because fundamentalist Christianity seems to have something to do with it too. According to a 2011 poll, 41 percent of Americans believe the Rapture is coming. Yes, almost half of the people in this great country think that Jesus is coming back and will kill every last one of us and it could happen at any moment. That sounds like a good plot for a movie!
The thing is that movie plots don't come from nowhere. They're often a manifestation of our collective anxieties, misgivings, hopes, and philosophy. It seems a little disturbing, or at least just a little bit more realistic, that our newest fixation is the complete decimation of the species. Maybe it's because, as our culture is cluttered with constant streams of content, that is what it takes to stand out these days — the threat of utter annihilation. Or maybe it's because we all think that we're beyond hope and instead of dreaming up ways to cure the awful predicament we've put ourselves in, we're now imagining just what is going to happen when the scary inevitable comes to our door. Either way, it seems like things are going to need to improve in the real world before the lives of our movie characters get any better. Until then, get ready for Hollywood to keep dreaming up our utter destruction.
Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan
'Seeking a Friend': Steve Carell Thinks He 'Would Get Devoured by Zombies'
One on One: 'Melancholia' Star Kirsten Dunst
'Cabin in the Woods': How Did Your Audience React?
S1E8: Last week, Ringer left fans gasping at the discovery that Charlie was the one responsible for Gemma’s disappearance because he’s secretly in cahoots with the real Siobhan. Of course, Bridget has no idea that her new sponsor is secretly plotting against her, so she continues to rely on him as her confidante. But Bridget’s got more pressing problems to worry about (yet again) as Malcolm’s sudden appearance in her new life threatens to expose who she really is. And on top of everything else, Andrew and Henry discover some rather upsetting news regarding “Siobhan” and the baby.
In other news, Juliet and Mr. Carpenter continue to form an unlikely (and inappropriate bond), which is becoming creepier by the minute. Malcolm, on the other hand, continues to battle with his re-surfaced addiction while also trying to dodge Agent Machado’s questions in his unrelenting search for Bridget. Additionally, the real Siobhan’s boyfriend, Tyler, winds up doing business with Andrew and makes a startling discovery of his own.
"Maybe we can get a dog instead?" – Juliet
Upon seeing her NA sponsor, Malcolm, show up suddenly in New York, Bridget faints and is taken to the hospital to make sure everything is alright. While they're there Andrew thinks it’d be a good idea to do an ultrasound to make sure the baby is alright, but shock of all shocks (to everyone but Bridget), they discover there is no baby and she must have miscarried. Thinking that the baby was the only thing holding their marriage together, Andrew is devastated and wants to try getting pregnant again. But after overhearing Bridget tell Juliet that it probably wasn’t going to happen, he's very hurt and angry since he interprets that to mean she doesn't want the marriage to work. However, by the end of the episode, she assures him that she wants their marriage to work – baby or no baby, which seems to make him feel better. Henry is also really upset upon hearing about the miscarriage since he is secretly holding out hope that the baby would bring the two of them together again. I guess babies equal relationship-fixer. But now that the baby’s gone, he knows he’s truly lost her forever, which leaves him with no wife, no affair, and no child. Things aren’t looking too good for poor Henry.
“You can’t even be honest about who you are.” – Malcolm
Now that Malcolm’s back in the picture, Bridget has even more to worry about. Malcolm is the only person (that she’s aware of) who knows her true identity and he isn’t exactly in the best condition to be keeping a secret. Sure enough, the time spent in Macawi’s basement has caught up with him and he’s back to being a full-fledged addict again. At first he tries to get Bridget to believe that he can handle the addiction, but it becomes apparent throughout the episode that he needs someone to lean on for support. Enter Charlie. Yup, the guy who is the real Siobhan’s own personal hit-man is the person Bridget turns to in order to help Malcolm. Charlie welcomes Malcolm with open arms into his house and says “You did the right thing by coming here,” which can only mean one thing: Malcolm’s in danger.
Juliet seems to be heading into dangerous territory herself. She continues to display an inappropriate flirtation with her high school English teacher, Mr. Carpenter, by inviting herself to his place to watch a DVD. Uncomfortable about the situation, Mr. Carpenter wisely drops Juliet from his class, but Juliet isn’t about to give up on her little crush so easily and finds a loophole to spending more time with him. It looks like the Young Samaritans club has a new member on its hands.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know I was sleeping with the boss’ wife.” - Tyler
Worlds start to collide when Siobhan’s Paris boy-toy, Tyler, is offered a position as head of European operations at Andrew’s company. Andrew asks Tyler to come have dinner with him in New York, so they can discuss the arrangement in further detail. But things really start to get interesting when Bridget shows up to the dinner and Tyler mistakes her for the real Siobhan. Bridget of course has no idea who he is and remains polite and cheerful throughout the three course meal. Surprisingly, Tyler doesn’t get more outwardly upset about the situation, but that’s probably because he doesn’t want his boss to know that he’s been sleeping with his boss’ wife (which is funny because he actually is sleeping with Andrew’s wife, except he thinks the woman at dinner and the woman in Paris are one in the same). So shortly after the dinner he calls the real Siobhan (thinking it’s the one he just had dinner with) to confront her about the whole thing and say that they’re through. Looks like she’ll have to find a new place to stay.
The show continues to keep a fair pace of action and suspense, but there are still so many questions that have yet to be answered. What is Siobhan’s big plan? Why did she dump her life and leave everything behind? Why did she date Tyler when she’s clearly still in love with Henry? Why does she care that Malcolm is in the area? What plans does she have in store for her innocent twin sister? So many riddles and not enough clues!
Rise of the Planet of the Apes was so good, it almost poses a problem. That problem being, when the ape planet does eventually rise and overtake our oppressive human regime, it'll just seem kind of meh in comparison. But you know what won't seem kind of meh? The Rise of the Planet of the Apes Blu-ray and DVD, coming out on Dec. 13!
Andy Serkis, James Franco, John Lithgow, Freida Pinto, Tom Felton, Tyler Labine, Terry Notary, Karin Konoval and Brian Cox make Rupert Wyatt's new take on the classic series a wonderful ride.
And this ain't no monkey busin—um... tomfoolery. There is a hefty sum of intriguing special features (listed below the picture) to make you go bana—uh, moonstruck.
So stop futzin' around! Ape-proof your house, build up an immunity to the deadly pandemic, and make sure you hide all of your Draco Malfoy memorabilia. The best movie of the summer is coming out on Blu-ray and DVD, and the only question is...will you join the craze? Okay, maybe there is one more question.
Alpha Gets Shot Will's Meeting with Lab Assistants Will Discovers Caesar Has Solved Puzzles Caesar Plays with Bicycle Caesar Questions His Identity Caesar Bites Off Neighbors Finger Will Ignores the Risks of an Airborne Mutated Virus Rodney Gives Caesar a Cookie Rocket Gets Hosed by Dodge Caesar Destroys the Lab and Koba's Attempted Revenge on Jacobs Caesar Pushes Helicopter Koba with Shotgun Pre-vis for The Future
Capturing Caesar – Script to Screen
Studying the Genius of Andy Serkis
Multi-Angle: Rocket Cookie Scene
A New Generation of Apes
Breaking Motion Capture Boundaries
Breaking New Sound Barriers: The Music and Sound Design of Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Chimpanzee Gorilla Orangutan Audio Commentary by Director Rupert Wyatt
Audio Commentary by Writers Rick Jaffa and Amanda Silver
Character Concept Art Gallery
Three Theatrical Trailers
Hey guys!Guess who sold out two shows at Radio City Music hall in less time than it takes for Ticketmaster to load your tickets? This guy. No, not that guy. This guy. No, the guy over there. God you are so dense sometimes. Charlie Sheen you fuckwad. Try to be clever around here and you go and ruin it. You ruin everything. No wonder Mom started drinking after you were born. - People
Apparently Rebecca Black actually reads the comments on Friday’s Youtube page because some of the mean things you nasty people said really upset her and made her cry. You guys! How could you do that to her? She’s such a sweet little girl who just wants to hang out with her friends. Who cares if she has trouble deciding where to sit in a car? Good job people. Good. Job. Black also mentioned that she would LOVE to do duet with Justin Bieber. I never thought I would say this, but Bieber is way too talented to sing with that chick. Oh wow, I just cyber-bullied Rebecca Black. I’m part of the problem?! Existential crisis! - People
Further proof that karma exists: a writer for Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns had his car explode. That’s what you get for bringing into the world more of Tyler Perry. What’s that you say? That’s cyber bullying too? Have you seen Meet the Browns? Yeah, that’s what I thought. I’m doing the world a favor. - TMZ
Happy Hung-Over Day! These lovely animated Chang .gifs dispersed throughout (what do you mean you didn’t click any of them? AW HELL NAH BITCH) are courtesy of ScreenJunkies in celebration of Community’s renewal! Even more reason to celebrate because its Friday!